The Insanity Continues
by Lord Archive
Summary: The story does not end by saying 'I love you.' That is just the beginning. *All written parts posted. * Story has been discontinued.*
1. Voyage of Thoughts

**The Insanity Continues**

**Volume 0 - Ever Changing World**

**Chapter 1 - Voyage of Thoughts**

_By: Lord Archive_

Characters are own Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

This series was originally written in 1997, long before ffnet existed. This is one of my first fanfictions. Some edits have been made to improve readability, but it remains as an example of early Ranma 1/2 fanfiction. When this was being written, elements of this story weren't cliched, it was creating the cliches. While this remains as one of my more popular Ranma 1/2 series, it is not without it's faults as I was new to writing stories and a complete translation of Ranma 1/2 manga had yet to appear in America when this was originally written more than fifteen years ago.

The entire section starting and ending with *Manga 38* is direct from volume 38 with no additions (a couple deletions, but no additions.)

* * *

Ranma looked over the railing as the land slowly disappeared from the slow boat from China he was on. He had lost his chance to get a cure. Jusenkyo had flooded as a result of his battle with Saffron, and it may take months, if ever, before the pools would be usable again.

Ranma sighed. He had lost his chance to be a full man for Akane. He wished she didn't think he was lying when he said he only wanted the cure for her. He nearly died for her. He killed for her.

Ranma looked at his hands. He had killed Saffron. It didn't matter that his essence was reborn into an infant. He didn't know that when he destroyed Saffron's adult body, and he's not really going to be the same person. So, he was a murderer. Saffron stood in his way from saving Akane, so he killed him. Was it right for him to do that? Was it right for him to feel Akane's life was worth more than Saffron's? If her life was threatened again, would he hesitate to kill?

Ranma hugged himself. No. He wouldn't. If he was put in the same damn situation, he would not hesitate to kill. Because he killed Saffron, will that mean it would be easier for him to kill next time? Willing to go all out against opponents that he could have just subdue? He hope not. Oh gods, he hope not.

* * *

Akane woke below decks in a hammock. She saw Ryoga sitting off to the side. "Hi, Ryoga. You didn't have to watch over me."

Ryoga smiled at her. "You're still weak from your ordeals. I just wanted to make sure you're all right."

Akane shook her head. "You don't have to worry about me."

"You're my friend. Of course I'm going to worry about you," Ryoga insisted.

Akane sighed. "Where's Ranma?"

Ryoga looked away. "Probably still on deck watching China disappear."

"Why isn't he here? If you're worried about me, why isn't he?" Akane huffed.

"He asked me to watch over you," Ryoga admitted sadly. "He has a lot to think about right now."

"What is he thinking about?" Akane asked. She thought that he might be thinking about what he said to her while she appeared to be dead.

"Akane, do you know what happened around you while you were dehydrated?" Ryoga asked.

"Not really. I was aware of things, but it's like trying to remember a dream," Akane answered.

Ryoga let out a long sigh. "Well, Ranma did some things during this trip he must sort out. I think it'd be better if he tells you."

"I see. I'd like some time alone to think about some things myself." Akane rolled over.

"I understand," Ryoga sadly got up and left the room. He knew he had truly lost her. She cared about if Ranma was worried about her or not, but she didn't want him to be worried. She nearly died for him, and he nearly died trying to save her.

Ryoga sighed. Should he be surprised? She may fight him, but... but Ranma was the one she loves. He may not like it and she may not admit it, but she does. Her actions, her jealously, all speak of her love. The tenderness she shows Ryoga was while he was P-Chan was for a pet. She may be kinder to her friends than she usually is to Ranma, but that's because she loves him. She wanted him to correct his faults, so she harps on him whenever she thinks he had done something wrong. It's because she loves him that it hurts her so much when he insults her.

Ryoga made his way on deck and looked at Ranma. She also didn't want to be forced to marry someone, so she took it out on him. She didn't want to love him, but she does.

Ryoga walked towards the front of the boat. He didn't want to lose Akane, but she was lost to him. He still had Akari, and he did lo-lo-like her. He just had to move on with his life.

* * *

Akane was resting in a hammock, staring at the ceiling. Was Ranma thinking about her? Was he thinking about what he said when she had almost died? Did he really love her?

Akane shut her eyes. If yes, then why? Why does he insult her? Why does he hang around with the other girls? Why would he do those things if he loved her?

Akane opened her eyes. Ranma has all those fiancees... which he doesn't really want. But he hugs Shampoo and the others... actually they hug him. He insults her... and she insults him.

Akane sighed. Why doesn't he do anything about the other fiancees if he loved her? If he loved her, what was stopping him from just saying it? Could it be her? Could it be because he doesn't truly know how she felt about him? But how can he not know? Sure, she had never said the words, but she was learning to cook for him, she got jealous when he was with another girl, and she had done so much for him. How could he not know?

Akane looked around the room. If he had been missing signs that she love him, was she missing his? When someone suggested he was in love, he does instantly assume they're talking about her. He denied he loved her to the point of overkill, but if someone asked if he loved Ukyou or the others, he just says he doesn't and says little more. He has risked his life to save her numerous times. He had always comes back to her. He has done so much for her.

Akane sat up in the hammock, and silently vowed, "Ranma, if you love me, you should know I love you. I'm not going to tell you until you realize that."

* * *

Ranma continued to stare towards China despite that it had long since disappeared over the horizon. He was lost in thought, thinking about Akane, Saffron, life, death, and the murder he believed he committed.

"Ranma?" asked Akane, nervously, as she approached him.

"Akane, you should be resting," Ranma said.

"You don't have to worry. I'm fine," Akane insisted.

Ranma opened his mouth to deny he was worried, but it died in his throat. "Just take it easy. You shouldn't be up."

"What have you been doing all day?" Akane wondered.

"Thinkin'," Ranma answered simply.

"Thinking about what?" Akane asked.

Ranma shrugged. "Lots of things."

"Care to tell me about it?" Akane asked.

"No," Ranma replied curtly.

"Will you tell me?" Akane almost pleaded.

"Maybe later," Ranma failed to promise.

Akane sighed. "It might help if you talk to me."

"Doubt it." Ranma looked away. "Can you leave me alone for a while? I need to think."

Akane heard the pain in his voice and wanted to say no. She decided to do as he wished and nodded. She turned around and walked towards Mousse, who was standing at the railing, midway down the port side. "Hi, Mousse."

"Hi," Mousse returned her greeting.

"Can you tell me what Ranma's thinking about?" Akane questioned.

Mousse looked toward Ranma. "I'd say he's probably thinking about how he was forced to kill Saffron to save you."

"What?" Akane shouted, shocked. "Saffron was reborn as infant, he didn't die."

"He may not have died, but he should have. Ranma didn't know Saffron's phoenix-like powers extended to that point. Saffron stood between Ranma and the means to save your life, so he attacked him all out. Ranma attacked him, willing to kill to save your life, and the fact Saffron was reborn is of little comfort for him," Mousse explained.

Akane stared at Mousse blankly. "He was driven to the point of killing someone... just to save me?"

"Yes. Do you know why?" Mousse shot at her.

Akane remained silent.

"You may not notice it, but he loves you," Mousse told her. "When we found out Kiima had your body as a cursed form, he was deathly afraid they drowned and killed you. To keep his hopes, up I suggested they used their knowledge of Jusenkyo curses to assume your form and that you were still safe at home. When he thought you died, when you got dehydrated, he died inside too. He didn't move on his own until we discovered you were still alive. After he cured you and you appeared to be dead he..."

Akane interrupted, "He said he regretted the things he's said and said..." She was now blushing.

"And when he screamed your name..." Mousse shivered.

"It was loud enough to wake the dead, literally." Akane shuddered. "He really does love me, doesn't he?"

Mousse nodded. "A while ago I realized he didn't see Shampoo as anything more than a friend. I'm not too sure about Ukyou, but he would throw a party if Kodachi was out of his life."

Akane forced a smiled. "I'd be partying along with him."

"Do you love him?" Mousse asked in a low voice, praying she would finally give an answer.

Akane looked around, making sure no one was eavesdropping. "Yes," she whispered.

"When are you going to tell him?" Mousse asked almost desperately.

"I want him to say it first," Akane stated firmly.

Mousse shook his head. "Do try to make it easy for him to say it."

"Do you know why he doesn't do something about the other girls?" Akane questioned.

"I don't know," Mousse said, while thinking, that Ranma was a womanizer who enjoyed having girls flock around him.

* * *

The trip continued with rarely anyone talking. Ryoga wanted to avoid Akane. Akane was lost in thought, thinking about her realization of how Ranma felt about her. Mousse ended up flying back to Japan after approaching Shampoo midway through the trip. Genma played shogi with the captain of the ship for most of the trip. Everyone avoided Ranma except Akane, but neither of them rarely said anything. Shampoo didn't want to socialize with anyone but Ranma, but he was being extremely anti-social to everyone.

Akane was happy to get home. She hoped Ranma would come out of it and rejoin the rest of the world. While he did start talking, he still wasn't acting like himself.

Akane was starting to get desperate a couple days after they returned. He hadn't paid attention to anything. There had to be something she could do to help. She thought her father might know something about what Ranma's going through.

Akane made her way through the house searching for her father. She couldn't find him, and she didn't see Genma and Nodoka either. She then heard voices from Happosai's room, but it couldn't be him, since he was on a panty raid. She approached to investigate.

Pressing her ear to the door, Akane heard Nodoka's voice, "... to the altar, how do can we convince them to say 'I do?' They may not feel they're ready."

"I overheard Akane admitting she loves Ranma and there is plenty of evidence that he loves her," Genma answered.

"I also got a plan that will insure they will agree," Soun added.

Akane flung the door open violently. "Just what do you think you're doing?!" she screamed.

The three scheming parents started to sweat nervously.

"Now Akane, Dear," Soun began. He stood up and exited the room, shutting the door behind him. "We are planning your wedding with Ranma."

"Aren't I suppose to at least have some say in this?" she snarled.

"This is for the betterment of our clans that you two marry. And, to stop all the troubles Ranma has concerning fiancees and such. We felt it would be best to get you two married," Soun insisted.

"How about how I feel?" Akane demanded.

"Akane, you can't hide from me that you love him. And if you want assurances that he'll marry you..." Soun then whispers into her ear, "...my present to you two is a case of Nannichaun the Jusenkyo guide has sent. He'll only get it once you two are married."

Akane stood there fuming. How dare he try and manipulate her? She didn't care if she wanted to marry Ranma, he shouldn't force her to... But, this might solve Ranma's problems with the girls and he would get cured. If nothing else, this might get him to stop thinking about Jusendo and Saffron.

Akane closed her eyes tightly. "Fine. I'll marry him," she said angrily. She stomped off.

Nabiki had overheard Akane. She wondered how her father got her to agree.

* * *

*Manga 38*

Ranma walked into his room and felt a large blunt instrument impact his skull.

Ranma awoke to a shock. "Wh... what the!" He was wearing a white suit.

"Well, Akane approved the marriage," Soun said.

"Huh?" Ranma uttered.

"We swear it's the truth," Genma added.

"You look so handsome, Ranma," Nodoka cried with joy.

Ranma ran into Akane's room. "Hey, Akane!"

"Ranma," Akane said, looking more beautiful than Ranma ever thought she could, wearing a flowing white western wedding dress.

Ranma stared at her in shock. "Ah... um..." He started shaking.

"Maybe a Japanese dress was better," Akane said, wondering at his reaction.

"N... no. I think in either... you're... cute," Ranma said blushing.

Akane blushed a little. "Really? Thank you."

* * *

"A wedding invitation? Hm..." Ryoga sighed sadly.

"Akane, I'm going on a journey now." He looked up to the sky. "I will pray for you to be happy."

Ryoga started to wander away. "I'm sorry, Akari. My gifts for you have passed their expiration date." He pictured how Akari looked like in his mind.

* * *

Neither Ranma nor Akane could think of something to say. They were both extremely nervous. After a long moment, they knelt on the floor as their legs grew tired.

Ranma broke the silence as he stammered, "Uh... um..."

"Yes..."

"Why did you... all of a sudden want to marry me?" Ranma asked.

"Well... Ranma... you love me," Akane answered.

"Huh?" Ranma uttered, shocked. "Wh... what are you talking about?"

Akane was a little shocked at his reaction. "But while you were crying at Jusendo..."

Ranma thought for a moment trying to remember if he did say it. "I didn't say that!" he shouted.

"You practically did!" Akane yelled back.

"What!? You wanna go at it!" Ranma said, wanting to start a fight to stop the wedding.

Akane calmly said, "Fine, you don't have to go through with this if you don't want to, but you'll regret it." She finished glaring at him.

"Huh?" Ranma emitted, shocked.

* * *

Nabiki saw her father hide what looked to be a case of sake. "Do you really need to hide that from Ranma?"

"Ha... the Jusenkyo guide sent enough Nannichaun for one, so until the two are married, I won't give Ranma the Nannichaun!" Soun elated.

"So that's how you convinced Akane," Nabiki said.

"Now Tendo... why did you hide it from me too?" Genma asked.

Life drained from Soun's face as he sensed trouble.

"Did you think I would take it? It's mine!" Genma ran off with the case of Nannichaun.

The case flew out of Genma's hands as the wall next to him exploded.

"Where am I?!" Ryoga shouted from the new doorway.

Hearing the commotion Mousse went to make sure nothing would go wrong. "Hey, Akane and Ranma! Hurry up and get married before you change your minds."

"Nannichaun!" Ryoga shouted seeing the flying case.

* * *

Upstairs Ranma ran out of Akane's room. "What?! There's Nannichaun! Why didn't you tell me, Stupid!" Ranma shouted.

Akane glared angrily at him as he left.

Ranma found his way blocked by Shampoo and Ukyou as they threw exploding food at him.

"Aiya! I was aiming for Akane!" Shampoo said angrily.

"I still have lots of special celebration Okonomiyaki for you!" Ukyou shouted, looking ready to kill.

"Darling, are you all right?" Kodachi asked, wearing a black wedding dress.

"Aiya! Kodachi!" Shampoo said.

"She's got some nerve!" Ukyou snarled.

Ranma quickly jumped from where he lay as Kuno attacked with a katana. "How dare you proceed with this wedding without Kuno Tatewaki's permission!?" Kuno wave a paper fan with 'reject' written on it. "I will not allow it!"

"You idiot! I don't have time for this." Ranma dodged Kuno's attacks. One of his dodges caused him to trip on a bucket filled with water, splashing him.

"Pig-tailed goddess! You must marry me this instant!" Kuno shouted.

Ranma replied by punching him in the face.

* * *

"Nabiki! You sent out all the wedding invitations, didn't you!" Akane shouted angrily.

"But look!" Nabiki held a large stack of envelopes.

"My! Look at all the celebration money!" Kasumi said.

* * *

Mousse, Ryoga and Genma continued to fight for the Nannichaun. It flew away from them as the seal broke. The Nannichaun threatened to spill all over the ground.

Ranma arrived in time to see it starting to fall. "Nannichaun!" she shouted.

"Ooh! Sake!" Happosai shouted as he downed the Nannichaun in one large gulp.

The cursed men looked at the sight in shock and horror.

"What the hell! It's just water!" Happosai smashed the empty case in anger.

"He drank it... all," Ranma said in disbelief.

The cursed men attacked Happosai, trying to get him to induce vomiting.

"Cough it up!" Ranma said angrily.

"Where is it!?" shouted Genma.

"Happo Dai Karin!" Happosai shouted, releasing his fire bomb attack.

The blast left Ranma unconscious, which Ukyou and Shampoo moved to try and help him.

Ryoga sat to the side, crying.

"Tendo Akane! We must be wed!" Kuno shouted earning Akane's foot into his face.

"Hehe! My young bride!" Happosai gleefully said, clutching onto Akane's wedding dress.

"Ranma-sama! Someday!" Kodachi shouted.

"My how busy!" Kasumi said.

With the Nannichaun gone, the groom unconscious, and several people violently opposed to the wedding present forced Soun to do something he really didn't want to. He called off the wedding.

* * *

Soun sat at the dinner table talking to Ranma and Akane. "Well, because of all this... we're putting off the wedding until we can get all of our affairs in order."

"You know if you just..." Akane said.

Ranma interrupted, "This is all your fault."

*Manga 38*

* * *

Ranma lay on the roof of the Tendo home, staring into the night sky. He didn't want to be reminded about his fiancee problems, and yet they came roaring into his face. He wanted to sort out his guilty conscious concerning his actions at Jusendo and they just wanted him.

Why? Why? Why? Ranma wondered. Why did they have to force a wedding? Why was Akane willing to marry him? Could it really be just because she believes he loved her? Was she willing because of the Nannichaun? Or did she want to marry him because she loved him?

Ranma balled his hand into a fist. They could have at least asked him if he wanted to get married. He would've told them he wasn't ready. He was only seventeen and still in high school. He shouldn't even be engaged. Everyone wanted him to get married to one person or another. A year and a half ago he had never stayed anywhere long, and now they were fighting over where he would spend the rest of his life and they weren't asking him. He should have a say in this. He did have five choices.

Ranma counted on his fingers. Well, four choices. Kodachi wasn't a choice. He could choose Shampoo, which would leave him as a guy in a woman's society and he would have to deal with being related to the old ghoul. That's not a real good choice there. He could choose Ukyou, but she was more of a sister to him. He could choose as his parents wanted. Akane wasn't a bad choice, but he wished she would listen to him and trusted him more. She can get so angry at him while he had done nothing wrong. He could chose none of the above and just leave, but he didn't want to do that.

Akane did look cute in that wedding dress. Ranma sighed. Why did he deny he love her? He thought he did. He had done so many things for her and it hurt so much when he thought she was dead. He didn't think he could feel such pain over losing anyone. He should've just told her he loved her, but then he would probably be married now.

Ranma rolled over and looked towards where Akane should be. Did Akane love him? Her willing to marry me had to be more than just because she thought he loved her. If she loved him, why does she poison him, insult him, and hit him? Well, he guessed she was trying to learn how to cook, he insulted her too, and she hits him when he had gone too far or when she was jealous. If she acted jealous when the other girls showed affection to him, didn't that mean she loved him or at least wanted to show that kind of affection.

* * *

Akane sat in her bed curled up into a ball. She didn't know what to feel or who to be mad at. Today she almost got married, but everything went wrong and nothing went right.

Why wasn't she mad at Ranma? Akane wondered. He had denied he loved her when she knew he does. What happened at Jusendo was undeniable. The things he did and how he reacted were for someone he loved, and not just a friend. Yet, he tried to stop the wedding by starting a fight with her. Talk about cold feet.

Akane sighed. Maybe it was because she thought he was right. The wedding disaster was, in part, her fault for not telling him sooner about the Nannichaun. If she had, he might of found it and gotten cured. She, herself, had used his cure to bribe him into marrying her. Was she any better than Shampoo, now, because she had done that?

Akane cracked her knuckles. She would have to have a little talk with Nabiki about her part in the disaster. If her sister hadn't invited everyone in Nerima, she would be married now. Not to mention Uncle Saotome had his own part in this. He wants Ranma to marry her, but took the Nannichaun because he wanted the cure for himself. If that selfish idiot had half a brain, he'd have defended the Nannichaun to insure it could be used to bribe Ranma.

Akane's face took on a look of determination. There was one thing she could do, she could make sure that Ranma married her. She could find a way to remove his other fiancee's claims. And then Ranma will marry her!

* * *

Ukyou laid in her bed thinking over the day. Why did those jackasses plan a wedding? Ranchan doesn't want to marry Akane, and they should have realized that. He would never be truly happy with her.

Ukyou shut her eyes tightly. Was Konatsu right in saying she might have ruined friendship for attacking him? Why did she do that in the first place? Why did she attack Ranma and not those responsible? She should've just beaten up Genma. It had to be his plan after all.

But did she upset Ranma for attacking him? She didn't want to lose him. She was trying to save him from marrying a girl he didn't want. He should be thankful right? She'll just have to apologize and come up with a better plan if they try this again.

* * *

Author's notes:

Why a volume 0? I already wrote a volume 1 of a story that occurs a month later, but some characterizations needed to be explained. Also Manga volume 38 caused a lot of changes in the Ranmaverse, shattering the status quo. Ryoga giving up on Akane and Akane believing Ranma is in love with her being the biggest changes.

The translation of the wedding scene is close to being accurate. I do own a copy of manga volume 38 so the action described is correct. (I really wish I could read Japanese.)


	2. New Eyes

**The Insanity Continues**

**Volume 0 - Ever Changing World**

**Chapter 2 - New Eyes**

_By: Lord Archive_

Characters are own Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

This series was originally written in 1997, long before ffnet existed. This is one of my first fanfictions. Some edits have been made to improve readability, but it remains as an example of early Ranma 1/2 fanfiction. When this was being written, elements of this story weren't cliched, it was creating the cliches. While this remains as one of my more popular Ranma 1/2 series, it is not without it's faults as I was new to writing stories and a complete translation of Ranma 1/2 manga had yet to appear in America when this was originally written more than fifteen years ago.

This series is strictly Manga based.

* * *

Ranma groaned as he woke up. He didn't want to wake up today. He wanted the day to pass by. Today was going to be a bad day, as yesterday he almost married Akane, but it bombed, literally. Akane would likely be very angry all day, if not all week.

Ranma opened his eyes. He hoped she realized it was not his fault all of Nerima showed up, including those hell bent to stop the wedding. He had nothing to do with it, but she would blame him. She always blamed him.

Ranma got out of his futon. Why did he feel disappointed that the wedding had failed? It was not like he was ready to get married. He didn't know if he ever wanted to get married. He had lived his life on the road, and they were trying to get me to commit to a life where he would rarely leave this place.

He sighed. Akane sure looked cute in those wedding dresses. Too bad her personality wasn't cute. But he guessed that was the point, she didn't act cute and that was why he had feelings for her. He couldn't see himself being with someone like Kasumi, Akari, or Azusa, but he can see himself with Akane. He thought he might love her, but he didn't really know what love was suppose to feel like.

Ranma quickly got dressed. Maybe? Maybe, if he told her that he loved her, she wouldn't be angry at him. He shook his head. She would think he said it in hopes of avoiding getting hit for not saving the wedding. He still couldn't figure out why she had agreed to it. She had been against it for so long and now she agreed to marry him. Was it because she was going to do it for him or did she agree because she loved him? The only way to find that out was to ask her, but he would probably have to admit how he felt first. That would be two reasons to tell her. He guessed it might be worth a try.

Ranma made his way downstairs, just in time for breakfast. Everyone ignored him, like they were doing with Akane, who was already there. Akane kept glaring at either Genma or Nabiki, but never turned her angry gaze at him. Ranma took this as a sign she might not be angry at him, but he knew now was not the time to talk to her.

* * *

Nabiki's concentration was interrupted by a gentle knock on her bedroom door. Sighing at this latest interruption, she called out. "Come in, doors open."

Akane walked into the room. A sad smile crossed her face. This concerned Nabiki greatly. Akane was a creature of extremes. If Akane was upset she was a raging bull. If she's happy she beams like a shinning star. However, Akane had almost a Kasumi air about her, which could mean only one thing: Akane was beyond mad. "Nabiki we should talk," her sister said with a gentle voice that carried the chill of an arctic wind. Nabiki couldn't help but gulp when she looked at Akane. Sitting next to Nabiki on the bed, the youngest Tendo sister looked out the window, gazing at nothing in particular. "Why did you ruin my wedding?"

"Now Akane, I know very well you didn't want to marry Ranma," Nabiki replied knowingly.

"Do you really know? I may not like being forced into it and I may not be ready, but who said I didn't want to?" Akane questioned with a strange calmness.

Nabiki folded her arms. "You have countless times."

"I haven't said it for a long while now, have I?" Akane returned.

"Come on, Akane. I know you were bribed into agreeing to marry him," Nabiki insisted.

"So what if I was bribed? What does that have to do with your roll in destroying my wedding?" Akane demanded, a slight edge creeping into her voice.

"Because, I didn't want you to get forced into a marriage you don't want," Nabiki explained.

"Do you think I'd throw away my future just because Ranma would get his cure?" The ice in Akane's voice started to crack as her angry gaze fell upon Nabiki. "I agreed because I wanted to marry him. I would've agreed if there was no Nannichaun. I agreed because I love him. And you..." She was now snarling, "You ruined my wedding!"

Nabiki looked shocked as her discarded school bag became an impromptu weapon that struck the side of her head.

Akane looked down at her sister. "Damn. Now I have to wait for her to wake up before I can get her to help me solve his fiancee problem." She left the room and returned with some water and aspirins. She set them on Nabiki's desk and then went and stared out the window.

Nabiki awoke a few moments later. She first saw the aspirins on her desk and quickly used them. She then felt dread as she noticed Akane standing at her window.

Akane began sadly, "Nabiki, I understand that you did what you thought was right. I love you for that. But what you did hurt me more than you may ever know. I may have been bribed to marry Ranma but that was not the reason I went through with it."

Akane took a deep breath then sighed. "I love him Nabiki. More than I can even say. And he loves me with the same intensity Dad loved Mom. Even if he hasn't said it, I can feel it. When Ranma thought I died in China, I could FEEL the pain in him. It scared me that he was hurting so much. I wonder if that's what brought me back."

Nabiki was stunned to say the least. The passion and sadness in Akane's voice carried like a melody. It took several seconds for what her sister said to register. In a choked whisper she asked, "What do you mean by 'brought back?'"

A shudder overtook Akane as she thought back to the day that changed her life in so many ways. She hugged herself as if to bring warmth back to her body. Closing her eyes she told Nabiki the tale of Mount Phoenix. "...and I died. Despite Ranma's best effort my eyes finally closed. I remember looking down at my body and Ranma holding me. He held me so softly. Begging me to wake up. I wanted to reach out to him, to let him know I was there. But I couldn't. I could only look down as Ranma finally screamed out my name. The pain in that scream shook my soul. It seemed like a beacon for me to return. I followed that anguished howl back down to where I laid. I seemed to shoot back down to the earth. The next thing I remember was calling Ranma's name."

Nabiki could only look at her sister in disbelief. How could her 'little' sister have gone through so much so young. She wanted to hold her sister, to comfort her in some way. But she couldn't. She didn't know how.

Akane turned around and looked at Nabiki. "Do you know Ranma killed Saffron for me? To save me he had to give up his innocence. I think part of Ranma died that day also. Do you have any idea what it means to a person like Ranma to KILL someone? What that person has to give up?"

"No, I don't." A single tear ran down Nabiki's cheek. "I'm sorry for what I did. I was wrong. I SHOULD have asked you first. I was just so afraid that you weren't ready. Can you forgive me?"

Akane sat next to her sister and gently hugged her. "Of course I can. You're my sister. I love you too much to stay mad at you. Besides, you can help solve Ranma's fiancee problems so the next attempt won't fail."

Nabiki went over some plans she had laid out if Ranma ever wanted to remove any one of his fiancees, and was willing to pay the price for it. Going over it now with Akane, they started to find errors where the plans were concerned with having the fiancees being far less aggressive than they proved to be at the failed wedding. Several of the ideas, like deporting Shampoo, wouldn't work very well, since she'd eventually return.

Akane got frustrated at the lack of any good, permanent plans to handle the fiancees and left to think on her own.

Nabiki lay down on her bed. Her business personality in force since going over the plans with Akane. Those two may be in love, but they were still not ready. She would work on some ideas to solve their problems. But until they could go weeks at a time without fighting, though, she didn't see it as a good idea for them to getting married. Besides, it wouldn't do to lose her greatest source of income just yet. Maybe she could come up with some ideas to help smooth out their relationship.

* * *

Everyone seemed to be avoiding Ranma today, which suited him fine. They didn't know how he'd take the wedding attempt, and quite frankly, neither did he. Genma decided to make himself scarce after breakfast, since everyone held him at fault for the loss of the Nannichaun and partially at fault for the failed wedding attempt in general.

Ranma wanted to lose himself in something that wouldn't let him think about the wedding, or about what happened almost a week ago. Martial arts exercises didn't work for this, but homework might. He went upstairs and heard Akane talking in Nabiki's room, but couldn't tell what she was saying. He decided to eavesdrop.

"...while now, have I?" Akane was heard saying calmly.

"Come on Akane. I know you were bribed into agreeing to marry him," Nabiki replied.

"So what if I was bribed?" Ranma's heart sank as he heard this. Akane was bribed into marrying him. If she was bribed, then she didn't love him. He couldn't listen anymore, because he ran. He ran out of the house, and didn't stop running.

Did Akane love him? He thought she might, but then why would she need to be bribed? He wanted to know if she loved him, but he couldn't just ask her. He didn't want to find out she didn't love him. He couldn't take hearing THAT. He had to think of a way to find out if she loved him.

Ranma's thoughts blazed through his head. He couldn't get the thought that Akane might not love him out of his mind. Running for some time he got hungry, and followed his nose into a restaurant not thinking of where he was. He sat down at the counter, ignoring the chef's greeting. It wasn't until seconds after he sat down, that he realized where he was, when okonomiyaki suddenly appeared before him.

"Ranchan, what's wrong?" Ukyou asked.

"Lot's of things," Ranma replied, inhaling the first okonomiyaki.

"Um, Ranchan, I'm sorry about attacking you yesterday."

Ranma started picking at the second okonomiyaki, his thoughts returning to Akane. "It's no big deal," he said absentmindedly.

Ukyou smiled and gave him a quick hug. "Thank you."

Ranma was so lost in thought he didn't notice being hugged.

* * *

Akane sat at her desk tapping her fingers on her desk. She was surprised at how little help Nabiki had been with giving ideas of how to handle Ranma's fiancees. She heard a knock at the door and said, "Come in."

"Hello, Dear. How are you feeling?" Nodoka asked. She was uncertain of what she was going to talk to Akane about was a good idea, but she felt it needed to be asked.

"Too many feelings to count," Akane grumbled.

"I see. Now Akane, why did you agree to marry Ranma?"

At that point Akane didn't care who knew she loved Ranma and answered matter-of-factly, "Because I love him. I wanted to marry him. The chance of not having to deal with the other girls fighting over him was a nice incentive too."

"That's good." Nodoka smiled. "Akane, what do you think your life will be like with Ranma?"

Akane though for a moment. "Well, we'd both run the dojo and hopefully raise a couple children."

Nodoka smiled nervously. "What about the insanity he seems to attract?"

Akane sighed. "We'd have to deal with that, too. I'm not to thrilled with the idea of dealing with things like demon attack plants, strange magical items, Jusenkyo curse victims, and all the other weirdness, but I will."

"Akane, do you realize he might not come home from one of his adventures. Or that you, your family, and/or your friends will also be at risk from his unusual life?" Nodoka questioned nervously.

Akane took a moment to think. "I guess I do. I nearly died a couple times in China. One of those times was to save Ranma's life. And, Ranma fought an opponent who, by all rights, should've easily killed him, just to save me." She looked at Nodoka strangely. "Why are you asking me this? It sounds like you're trying to convince me not to marry Ranma."

"I do want you to marry Ranma, Dear. I just wanted to make sure you know what you're getting into. I don't want you getting hurt because you thought marriage would cure the strange events. I didn't realize how bad it was until yesterday. I'm happy you know marrying my son won't be perfect, but no marriage truly is." Nodoka gave Akane a strong hug. "Welcome to the family."

"Too bad Genma comes with it," Akane muttered.

"There is good and bad in all things, including him," Nodoka told her fondly.

"Auntie, please don't tell Ranma about what I've said. I want him to realize how I feel about him. I want him to say he loves me first." A single tear rolled down Akane's cheek.

Nodoka nodded. "I understand, Dear. But don't wait too long or he might run off with another girl."

Akane glared. "He better not."

* * *

Ranma and Akane prepared to leave for school. Both were a little nervous of how to deal with the others from school. Ranma was a bit more nervous, since Akane was smiling. He was confused about the smile, thinking it might be because she was happy the wedding failed. But the look she gave him, attached to the smile, suggested something else. She looked at him in a way that showed a certain closeness, some desire, and even a little possessiveness.

Akane was surprised Ranma ran next to her on the way to school, rather than on the fence, like he normally did. She hoped this meant he wanted to get closer to her. That he had forgiven her for her part in the wedding fiasco.

Both were too lost in thought in notice the ringing of a bicycle bell that was moving closer. Shampoo launched her bike and landed in front of Ranma. She then hugged him and elated her usual morning greeting, "Nihao! Husband take Shampoo on date?"

Akane glared at Shampoo, truly seeing, perhaps for the first time, that Shampoo was doing the hugging while Ranma wasn't returning it in the slightest. She waited to see how Ranma was going to handle Shampoo without interference.

"Let go of me, Shampoo," Ranma said a little nervously as the initial shock of her hug wore off.

Shampoo ignored him. "Forget about school and nasty, violent girl, and take Shampoo to date. Yes?"

"No date, and let go of me," Ranma said coldly.

Unsettled a little by Ranma's tone Shampoo let go. "What wrong?"

"You have some nerve trying this after attacking me. I expected better of you," Ranma snapped at her.

The Chinese Amazon waved a finger. "Shampoo only did it to stop wedding husband did not want."

"I'm not your husband! And how would you know I didn't want to get married? I didn't ask you to stop it and you didn't ask me if I wanted it stopped, so how could you know?" Ranma shouted at her.

Shampoo pouted cutely. "Because know Ranma wouldn't want to marry violent, kitchen destroyer..."

Akane had heard enough from Shampoo and sent her into lower Earth orbit with a surprise kick.

Ranma looked at Akane shocked.

"The bimbo had it coming," Akane said flatly. "We have to run or we'll be late for school."

When they arrived at school they, of course, saw Kuno waiting for them. "Ah, the fair Tendo Akane saved from marriage to..." Kuno began.

Ranma interrupted by knocking him out with a jump kick to the head.

* * *

Shampoo returned to the Neko-Hanten as a very wet cat.

Cologne looked at Shampoo shaking her head. "I warned you about going to see Ranma so soon after the wedding." The small old woman picked up the cat and took her to the bathing room. Once there, she tossed Shampoo into the bath. "So tell me what happened."

Shampoo looked sadly into the bathtub. "Airen not happy with me. Thought I would stay away after attacking him. Upset I did not find out if he wanted to get married or not."

"Did he say that he did want to marry her?" Cologne questioned.

Shampoo shook her head. "No. Sounded like he did not want to marry her, just wanted to have someone ask if he wanted it."

Mousse stopped in the hall as he heard the two talking.

Cologne nodded in thought. "I see. How did you end up getting turned into a cat?"

Shampoo scowled. "Akane kicked me into the river."

Mousse was uncertain what to do from what he overheard. Akane had hurt Shampoo, but it was in his best interests to help Akane win Ranma so he could get Shampoo. He would have to have a talk with Akane.

* * *

Akane was not pleased with the rumor horde at school. They would not leave Ranma and her alone. She was a little upset at Ranma for taking off immediately after school, leaving her behind. She was confused that Ukyou didn't appear to feel guilty for her part of the wedding disaster, like she thought the girl would.

Akane ran off the school grounds and made it only a block away before she was stopped.

Mousse looked at her sternly. "Akane, why did you hurt my precious Shampoo?"

"Several reasons, including her trying to get Ranma to take her on a date and was also insulting me at the time." Akane's eyes took an evil glint. "Care for me to list reasons from last Saturday?"

Mousse frowned. "I cannot allow you to hurt her."

"Then help me remove her as one of Ranma's fiancees," Akane returned.

Mousse shook his head. "I don't think you want me to do that in the means I can help with."

"Which way is that?" Akane wondered.

Mousse reluctantly said, "Killing him."

Akane pouted. "You're right, I don't. Isn't there some law that could break the engagement?"

Mousse shrugged. "There may be some."

"Then why don't we search for them?" Akane asked with hope in her voice.

"Can't. The laws forbid telling an outsider any law that doesn't apply to them, and most Amazon laws regarding marriage are only for Amazon women to know," Mousse related bitterly.

"This would apply, since he doesn't want to marry Shampoo," Akane replied.

"Yes, and Ranma is the only one that can ask for them. Until he asks, I can't say anything," Mousse explained.

"What would happen if you broke the rule?" Akane asked.

Mousse looked away. "I could be in for a lot of pain. Combining that with several other... rule bending I have done in hopes of proving my love for Shampoo, I might be banished from my home and remain an Amazon."

"Banished and remain an Amazon?" Akane asked quizzically.

"If I'm banished and made an outsider, I could return to the village after defeating and marrying an Amazon. If I remain an Amazon, I could never return."

Akane reluctantly nodded in understanding. "Mousse, if you have any ideas that would help me remove Shampoo or the others as Ranma's fiancee, please tell me."

"I'll try to think of some. I ask you don't go and hurt Shampoo," Mousse pleaded.

Akane shook her head. "Can't promise I won't, just that I'll only attack her if she's trying to get close to Ranma."

"Akane..." Mousse started angrily.

"Or would you rather I just let her make time with him?" Akane said coldly.

"Ah... no." Mousse sweat-dropped.

"Good." Akane ran off before Mousse could say anything more. She almost made it home before she was stopped again.

"You wretched girl dare to try and take my Ranma-sama from me. I shall make you pay for such impudence," a girl wearing a leotard angrily snarled.

Akane glared. "Cut the crap, Kodachi. Ranma doesn't love you."

"That is irrelevant. I will see Ranma-sama free from you." Kodachi let loose her ribbon at Akane.

Akane prepared to dodge, but stopped when she saw that Ranma had grabbed the ribbon.

"Kodachi, go away. Do not interfere with my life. I don't love you. I don't even like you." There was a coldness to his voice that made the girls shudder.

"But Ranma-sama, I love you," Kodachi pleaded.

"You and several other girls I know," Ranma remarked bitterly. "If I ever do decide to get married, it won't be to you."

"How dare you say that!?" Kodachi screamed, tears welling up in her eyes. "Attack of a Thousand Clubs!"

Ranma blocked Kodachi's attack using his speed training. "Kodachi, go away. I don't ever want to see you again."

Kodachi backed off. "Ranma-sama, why?"

The young Saotome glared death. "I don't have time to tell you all the reason, but I can start with you showing up at that screwed up wedding attempt in a wedding dress. Just go away, and leave me alone."

"Ranma-sama, this can't be the end." Kodachi turned and ran off.

Ranma turned around. "There was never a beginning."

"Ranma, not that I mind what you said to her, but I could've handled her," Akane said.

"Whatever." Ranma walked through the Tendo gate.

Akane almost made him explain that, but the ice in his voice told her he was upset and wanted to be alone.

* * *

"Ranma, prepare to die!" Ryoga shouted his customary challenge as Ranma and Akane walked to school.

"Impressive, you made it back in three days," Ranma quipped as he dodged several punches from Ryoga.

"Ryoga! Stop attacking him!" Akane yelled.

Both of them stopped and stared at the girl.

"I don't know why you attacked Ranma, but we don't have time. We've got to get to school." Akane grabbed Ranma's arm and ran towards the school.

Ranma was stunned. First by Akane apparently blaming Ryoga for starting the fight, and then by Akane grabbing his arm and didn't let go until they were almost at school.

Ryoga stared at them as they left. "I was going to make him pay for not marrying you," he said sadly, long after they were out of earshot range. "She blamed me. She's always blamed him, but now she blamed me. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS WORLD!?"

Ranma and Akane arrived at school, and before them, yet again, was Kuno. "Oh, beauteous goddess of the hunt..."

Ranma interrupted him with a round-house to his jaw.

"Vile sor..." Kuno tried to say.

Ranma then kicked Kuno over the school.

Akane looked at Ranma oddly. This was the second time he stopped Kuno and didn't let things get far enough for Kuno to attack either them.

* * *

It was lunch time, and Ranma wasn't to thrilled about it, because the rumor horde was still bugging him and Akane. He ate lunch with her under a tree. Akane gave a clear indication she didn't want anyone asking questions, planting a rather large mallet next to her. This didn't stop people from listening in on what they had to say.

"Hi, Ranchan!" Ukyou greeted happily. "I brought some okonomiyaki for you."

Akane glared at Ukyou.

"Um... thanks Ucchan," Ranma answered nervously.

"Oh, Akane, sorry about attacking the wedding," Ukyou said, not sounding very apologetic.

"Aren't you going to apologize to him?" Akane snapped.

"Already have. He said it was no big deal." Ukyou grinned.

"What?!" Akane started to glow dark blue.

"Well... ah... you see..." Ranma stuttered.

"Ranma! How could you?! You jerk!" Akane wanted to tell him why she was angry, but only her usual insults could escaped her lips. She grabbed her mallet and embedded him into the ground with several hits. She then ran off crying.

"What's her problem? Wasn't she forced into this?" Ukyou mused, helping the unconscious Ranma out of the ground. "Ranchan, are you okay?" she asked when he woke up.

"I'm fine." He cast a quick look around him. "Where did Akane go?"

Ukyou frowned. "I don't know. She just ran off."

"Great," Ranma muttered. Why did she do that? If he did something wrong, why couldn't she just tell him what he did wrong?

Ranma found out that Akane had gone back to their classroom and pointedly not looking at him. She was ignoring him completely.

* * *

_Akane's Diary Entry: December 7th, 1993._

_Dear Diary,_

_ I don't know what to do anymore. I love Ranma and I know he loves me, but he forgave Ukyou for the wedding disaster. How could he say that? She attacked him and stopped our wedding for God sakes. Could it be because he loves her too. That would explain why he hasn't told me he loves me._

_ What am I going to do, Diary? I want him to marry me, but I'm going against Ukyou. She's sort of my friend, but we both love the same man._

* * *

Ranma laid on the roof of the Tendo house over Akane's room. What did he do wrong? Akane got all upset after Ukyou said that I had forgiven her. He was still a little upset at Ukyou for doing it, but she was his friend and it probably was Shampoo's idea to attack the wedding.

He really wanted to know if Akane loved him. He wished she would just tell him. He didn't want to make a fool of himself and say he loved someone who didn't love him as well. How would he know? He guessed he would just have to wait until she told him.

He really didn't know if he wanted to marry Akane. It might be better for her if they didn't. She was always getting angry at him.

* * *

Author's Note:

What was old is new again. This series was originally started in 1997. I am in the process of editing the series as I repost it. This series was far from complete when I stopped working on it back in 2000, and have no plans on writing it to completion. I may, however, finally finish volume 4 of this series so at least that arc would be finished, but no promises on that just yet. There are currently only seventeen more completed chapters: five in volumes one and three, four in volume two, and three finished chapters for volume four.

Almost everything is back to square one with the exception that Akane wants to marry Ranma, and verbally admitted she loves him, and Ryoga has given up Akane, but will treat her like a younger sister.

Akane wore a Japanese wedding kimono at the start of Manga volume 37 and a western wedding dress at the end of volume 38.

Akane smiling at Ranma as they left for school, and Ranma running next to her to school actually occur on the last page of Manga volume 38.

The scene where Akane talks to Nabiki was rewritten by suggestion of and partially done by William Jones. I feel this works out better as Akane's cathartic talk to Nabiki would better set up Akane's talk with Nodoka.


	3. The Gem

**Ranma 1/2: The Insanity Continues**

**Volume 1 - Trapped.**

**Chapter 1 - The Gem.**

_Written by Lord Archive._

Characters are own Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

This series was originally written in 1997, long before ffnet existed. This is one of my first fanfictions. Some edits have been made to improve readability, but it remains as an example of early Ranma 1/2 fanfiction. When this was being written, elements of this story weren't cliched, it was creating the cliches. While this remains as one of my more popular Ranma 1/2 series, it is not without it's faults as I was new to writing stories and a complete translation of Ranma 1/2 manga had yet to appear in America when this was originally written more than fifteen years ago.

* * *

_Akane's Diary Entry:  
Thursday, January 6th, 1994._

_Dear Diary, That idiot still won't say it. It's been a month since the bombed wedding, and he still hasn't told me that he loves me. I know he does, Diary, but why can't he admit it? I'm not going to tell him how I feel until he does._

_ The jerk still protects me like I'm some porcelain doll, and it annoys me to no end! So what if I nearly died twice in China? He thinks I can't protect myself. I can take care of myself. He didn't have to stop Kuno for me this morning, I can do that all by my self. But it does say one thing about him though... he cares about me._

_ I just wish I could get some time alone with Ranma and be able to talk about our relationship. I doubt it will happen, though, as someone always interrupts us._

* * *

"You shall pay for this," a figure hissed angrily as he approached the home of his target. He fingered a gem in his hand. "Oh, yes. You will pay dearly for interfering in an old man's fun." He watched as the soaked panda walked over to the dinner table and began to eat breakfast. An aura flared around the figure when his eyes settled upon his target. "RRRRAAANNNMMMAAA!"

"Back already?" questioned Ranma as he took his first quick bites of breakfast.

"YOU SHALL PAY FOR TRAPPING ME IN THE RIVER!" shouted Happosai.

Ranma acted disinterestedly. "Add it to my bill."

Happosai responded by throwing what looked to be a black marble at Ranma. The young Saotome instinctively caught it. The marble immediately expanded into a sphere that surrounded not only Ranma, but Akane, who had been sitting next to him, as well.

"Wh... wh... what have you done?" Soun stared at the spot his youngest daughter had been.

Kasumi let out a shocked noise, as the sphere shrank back into the marble. For a moment, the black marble and Ranma's and Akane's clothes stayed in the air before falling down. Ranma and Akane were nowhere in sight.

The panda held up a sign, [Where are my son and Akane?]

"WHERE ARE THEY?" screamed the demonic head of Soun.

"They are banished into the black gem." Happosai dodged several of the Soun's demon head tongue strikes.

"BRING THEM BACK!" Soun spit out streams of fire.

Soun's screaming was giving Happosai a headache, and he really didn't want to fight the enraged father, and decided to relent. "Fine, I only wanted to banish Ranma. It doesn't do any good to lose two beauties." The diminutive martial arts master went over and picked up the gem and started examining it. Then a bead of nervous grew increasingly larger on Happosai's head.

A few moments later Nabiki folded her arms. "Forgot how to get them out?"

Happosai scratched his head. "I just realized, I only know how to get myself out from the inside, and not how to get someone out of it."

Kasumi fidgeted. "Are they safe in there?"

"Perfectly. They need neither food nor air." Happosai smiled sheepishly.

"So that's how you survived all those years in that cave." Nabiki thought about just how valuable this gem could be.

"Oh, my baby daughter is forever lost to us!" Tears welled up into Soun's eyes.

"Have any ideas on how to get them out?" asked Nabiki.

"I don't know." Happosai shrugged. "We could ask Cologne. It was an Amazon treasure that a young maiden gave to me."

"In other words, you stole it from her." Nabiki frowned. Her chances of getting the gem later after this was over had become slim to none with the Amazons involved.

[You forgot how to get them out!?] The giant panda used the sign to bat Happosai off into the distance.

* * *

In a flash of light, Ranma and Akane found themselves in an impossibly big spherical room.

"What did the old freak do to me this time?" It wasn't until Ranma felt a fist impact the side of his head that he realized someone else was with him. He went on his short flight around the sphere.

Akane's fist was still clenched in anger. "You Jerk! Because you just HAD to piss off Happosai, we're both stuck here in the middle of... the gods only know where we are."

Ranma turned around to see his fiancee "A-A-Ak-Akane, wh-what happened to your clothes?" He asked and quickly began examining the floor to avoid looking at her.

Akane let out an embarrassed screech. She noticed that Ranma was naked as well. She gawked at him for a moment and then quickly turned around. Her face had taken an incredibly red color. She was glad at least the 'pervert' has the decency to look away! "I guess whatever Happosai used to send us here doesn't transport clothes..."

Ranma was still looking away. "I guess so... um... Do you have any idea of how to get out of here?" He closed his eyes, really wishing he was somewhere, anywhere else. He hated being trapped, especially with no clue as to how to escape. He hoped Akane didn't think he was going to be some pervert that would want to take advantage of this situation.

Akane took a moment to contemplate the situation and looked around and shrugged. "Not a clue."

"Well, I'm not going to sit around waiting for someone to free us. I'll try to break a way out," offered Ranma with a slight edge to his voice as he began his attack on the floor.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Akane questioned.

"Do you have any better ideas?" Ranma retorted as his fist started moving faster and harder into the ground.

Ranma spent close to an hour attacking all out using all the various attacks he knew and even tried some attacks he didn't know like Bakusai Tenketsu. Not a scratch was made.

Akane searched around, trying to find an exit. She walked away from Ranma as her frustration at being trapped grew. She mentally cursed him, wondering why he had to insist on pissing off Happosai? Now she was trapped here, alone, with him.

The Tendo girl blinked, realization slamming her in the face. She WAS alone with him. It certainly looked like her wish to be alone with him so they could talk had come true. Not exactly the way she wanted, but she may as well make the best of it.

Akane looked up from the floor and saw an exhausted Ranma in front of her. Her mind reeled. Hadn't she walked AWAY from him? How could he be in front of her now? She shook her head. It didn't matter. They should use this chance to talk. "Ranma?"

"What?" Ranma snapped.

Akane frowned. "I don't think your fists are enough to get us out of here. I guess we are just going to have to be patient, and wait for them to get us out of here."

Ranma looked at Akane with wide eyes. "You're expecting Happosai, Pop or your father to get us out?!"

"Well, okay, maybe not them. I'm sure Ryoga, Shampoo, and Cologne will try to get us out. We'll just have to wait a while." Akane shrugged helplessly. "Besides, your fists aren't doing anything."

"I hate being trapped," Ranma grumbled.

"I don't like it either, but it is only temporary. We can take this time and talk alone, without fear of someone barging in or trying to listen in. And if you don't resort to name calling, I won't hit you," Akane promised.

Ranma wasn't sure how to take that offer. "Ah..."

Akane smirked. "It's better than beating your head against the floor."

Ranma smiled weakly at her joke. "Well, I haven't tried that yet."

They looked at each other before allowing themselves to laugh, releasing some of their frustration.

It wouldn't hurt to try to talk to her. If he could keep from insulting her, he might get out of this unhurt. Ranma finally answered, "I guess we could talk. Uh, what do we talk about?"

"Do you like your life?" Akane asked.

Ranma crashed to the ground. He wasn't expecting that kind of question. "What?"

"Do you like how your life as it is now?"

"I guess." Ranma shrugged. "I get into a lot of fights and I've learned a lot more since I got here than I ever did on the road."

Akane's eye quirked. "You like how things are now? Isn't there anything you'd like to change?"

Ranma nodded. "Sure, I like the way things are, but I would like to be able to make decisions for myself."

Akane blinked. "What do you mean by that?"

Ranma shrugged. "I've never really been given much chance to chose what I wanted."

"Oh, please." Akane rolled her eyes. "You can't tell me you haven't made any decisions."

"No one ever asked me whether or not I wanted four girls chasing after me!" Ranma shot at her.

Akane glared at him. "I never chased after you!"

"Right," Ranma remarked disbelievingly. "Pop certainly didn't ask me if I wanted to go through that stupid Nekoken training, or visit Jusenkyo for that matter. Not to mention... well... forget it. I just can't make any decisions. When I get close making one, something happens that takes it away."

"Why don't you make some decisions now?" Akane suggested.

Ranma cocked his head, though he still kept his eyes off of Akane's nudity. "What kind of decisions?"

"Why... Why not decide how to handle your fiancee problem?" she asked meekly.

Ranma shook his head. "I don't have a clue as to how."

Akane scowled. "You must have some ideas."

"I could break off all the engagements," he joked.

"I wouldn't go that far!" she screamed.

Ranma blinked, thinking she just wanted him to get rid of the other fiancees. He blinked again. But then wouldn't that mean... He paused for a moment. "You asked me if I had any ideas. Do you have any?"

"Let see, for Shampoo we could get Mousse to help find some legal loophole to remove her claim, or have Nabiki get them deported. And we can try to get Kodachi committed," Akane replied nervously.

Ranma considered that for a second. "That cuts out the two I like the least, but... that still leaves two of you to choose between."

Akane sighed, disappointed, "Yes, that is still a problem."

They sat quietly for some time, waiting for the other to suggest how to proceed.

* * *

At the Neko Hanten, Cologne held the gem that Happosai had used on Ranma and Akane. She examined it closely with Genma, Soun, and Shampoo staring at her, waiting for an answer.

Shampoo gripped her serving tray tightly. "Husband trapped in gem with violent girl. Shampoo hope Ranma okay."

"We must get son-in-law out soon, but I must confess, I do not know how to release them. I will check the ancient Amazon scrolls and tomes to find a means to free them. But in the mean time, guard this gem well. It could be very bad if it breaks or gets lost." Cologne handed the gem back to Genma.

"Shampoo, get Mousse out of his cage and have him help you run the restaurant while I search for the solution," ordered Cologne.

Shampoo nodded. "Yes, great-grandmother."

Genma and Soun left with the gem. Genma held it very carefully. Surprisingly, they actually made it safely home with the gem.

* * *

Hours passed and neither Ranma nor Akane said anything.

Ranma remained lost in thought. She hadn't asked him to choose between her and Ukyou. He didn't know how to choose between them. Ukyou was a good friend and he like her a lot... but he would rather be with Akane, though. But was Akane better off with him? He seem to make her angry all the time, and all he wanted to do was make her happy. Why did she have to take his jokes so seriously? Maybe if...

Ranma spoke tentatively, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Akane replied.

Ranma fidgeted. "Why are you angry so often?"

Akane cocked her head, appraising the question. "I'm not angry all the time... only when you do something stupid. And you're ALWAYS doing something stupid."

"Not always!" Ranma protested. "You just seem to find me in bad situations I have no control over. I can explain what happened, but you never give me a chance. You tend to jump to conclusions."

"Oh, really?" Akane replied sarcastically.

Ranma sighed. "I wish... I would like you to give me a chance to explain. I wish you would trust me..."

"It's hard to trust you completely," Akane admitted. "I can't believe in all the times I caught you doing something stupid, you were completely innocent."

"Well, maybe not all those times, but most of the time. Can you try to hear me out first next time... in the future?" Ranma almost pleaded.

"Sure," Akane promised. After a moment, she asked, "Ranma, why do you insult me all the time?"

"Um, A couple different reasons..." Ranma had even more reason not to look toward her. "I only started insulting you after you insulted me. You called me a pervert just because of a curse I have no control over, and you never stopped insulting me. Secondly, I use insults to encourage people. I insult Ryoga to make him fight harder, and your fighting skills to make you want to improve. Now why do you insult me?"

Akane sighed. "Well, you make me angry a lot, and... I can't think of any other way to get you back than to insult you or to hit you... I don't really mean what I say and I don't want to hit you." She looked down meekly. "How come you let those other girls hug you so much?"

"I can't stop them from doing that," he retorted defensively.

"Can't you? You can push them away."

"You think I haven't tried? How did you fare in preventing me from hugging you when Shampoo used those mushrooms on me? And, how would it look if I did try to push them away. Where would I put my hands?"

Akane studied her hands, answering meekly, "Not very well in stopping you, and... you'd probably touch their breast that way... I sort of see your point, but can't you tell them that... you don't love them... or at least to stop."

Ranma let out a short laugh. "I've asked them to stop, but do they listen? Nope."

"Why haven't you told any of them you don't love them?" Akane pressed.

Ranma remained silent, twiddling his fingers.

"Well?" Akane pressed.

Ranma hesitated. "Because... because I don't really know what love is. I don't feel right telling someone that I don't feel love for them if I don't know how it's supposed to feel, do you understand?"

Akane smiled. "Well, I suppose I can understand that. Maybe... maybe I can help explain. Love is... love is... well, love is when you can't imagine what life is like without him or her. If you can imagine it, you feel an extreme pain in your soul. When you think of the future, you think of being with the person you love. Um... otherwise, it's a hard to describe. It's sort of an odd feeling. You feel you need to be with the person, to help them, to support them, make them happy when they're sad. Um... does anything I say make sense?"

Ranma looked at the floor. "In a way it does. I guess Ucchan really is in love with me."

Akane frowned. "Do you love her?"

Ranma sighed. "If she were to leave, I would miss her terribly, but it is not too hard to imagine not having her around. I might be, I don't know."

"What about Shampoo?" Akane's voice shook, as if she was holding back tears.

"Part of me would be glad to see her go, but I would miss her also." Ranma shrugged. "But, I guess I don't."

"Kodachi?" Akane added.

"Hell no!" Ranma shouted. "I even told her that I not only didn't love but I didn't even like her."

Akane tried to rein in her emotions, but her voice nervously shook as she asked, "What about m-me?"

"Um..." Ranma failed to answer.

Maybe... just maybe if she give him a hint at how she felt... he would finally tell her. "Well," Akane hesitated, "I'll... tell you something. I... I... I have trouble thinking of life without you. Can... can... well, can you imaging life without me?"

"Yeah... a dull, boring and lonely one," Ranma answered carelessly.

Akane blinked. "I-is that a yes?"

Ranma's 'open mouth, insert foot' mode kicked in, "Me? Love an uncute girl like you?"

Akane bit back her anger as she didn't want to waste this opportunity. "Yes, an 'uncute girl' like me."

Ranma remained silent.

"WELL!?" Akane fumed.

"Um, I... I... I..." Ranma took a deep breath, and braced himself for whatever the girl might do to him. "I... guess... in a way... well... maybe... I do."

Ranma felt a crushing force grasp him from behind that surprised the hell out of him. After a moment, Akane let him free of her hug and stood up.

"Ranma, can you please tell me you love me, while looking at me?" Akane's voice was filled with hope.

Akane helped Ranma up to his feet. They looked into each other's eyes. She had her own style of being cute. He had to tell her. He knew he loved her for a while, he just had to say it.

Ranma stuttered nervously, "I-I... l-l-love you."

"I... I love you too, Ranma." Akane smiled brightly at him. "You have no idea how long I've waited for you to say that!"

"Actually, I've been wanting to say it for a while." He sighed. "I was afraid you would have rejected me."

Akane blinked. "What makes you think I would've rejected you?"

Ranma shrugged. "It just seems you're always angry at me."

"Oh," Akane replied meekly. After a moment of silence she said, "You know, in the entire time we've known each other, we've never actually had a real kiss nor been on an official date."

"Well, um, why don't we, um, go on a d-date S-Saturday," Ranma stammered nervously.

"I'd like that." A mischievous twinkle glimmered in her eyes as an... interesting notion struck her. "But... what about the kiss?"

"A k-kiss? If you want... I guess... we could... well... kiss n-now."

Akane nodded her consent. Ever so slowly, they leaned toward each other and started to kiss. If they weren't already in their own world, the rest of the world would have faded to just them. Ranma's arms wrapped around her, bringing her closer. They stopped kissing as they realized something of his anatomy pushed against her waist. Ranma whirled around and his whole body turned red with embarrassed.

Akane also turned around and blushed madly. "I thought you said I was sexless?" she joked to cover her own embarrassment.

Ranma gulped nervously. "I guess I was lying."

"So what happens now?" Akane wondered.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Ranma stammered, his face some how turning a deeper shade of red.

"Well, what are we going to do about Ukyou?" Akane asked.

Ranma relaxed at the apparent change of subject. "I'm not sure. She is a friend, and I don't want to hurt her."

"But it will hurt her more if you keep stringing her along," Akane pointed out.

Ranma sagged. "We'll have to break it to her carefully."

Time passed as Ranma and Akane were lost in thought about the turn their relationship had taken.

"You know something, Akane?" Ranma asked.

"What?" Akane wondered.

"Since I met you, I've been surround by friends and enemies. Yet there are many times I felt as lonely as Ryoga. I couldn't just go out and talk to someone about my problems because either they had a biased answer, didn't understand the problem, or were just too damn expensive. Despite being here with only you to talk to, I don't feel lonely," Ranma admitted.

Akane nodded, smiling. "I wished we could talk like this more often."

Ranma smirked. "Yeah, but of course someone would have made their presence known to us before we got around to talking about love."

Akane jokingly added, "Our dads falling through the door..."

Ranma continued, laughing, "Or Nabiki's microphone short circuiting..."

Akane laughed, "Or Kuno challenging you or begging us for dates..."

"Ryoga screaming, 'Ranma prepare to DIE!'" Ranma added with a snort to his myrth.

Akane's laughter turned into giggles when she asked, "Ranma, why do you and Ryoga fight?"

Ranma was struck cold, answering, "I can't say."

Akane blinked. "Why not?"

"I made a promise to him not to say 'cause I have a large part of the blame for his problem," Ranma nervously explained.

Akane pressed her questioning anyway. "His direction sense?"

Ranma shook his head. "No, that's a family curse."

"Then what's his problem?" Akane insisted.

"I promised him that I wouldn't tell, okay?" Ranma almost yelled at her.

"If I find out he's P-Chan, you're a dead man." Her face showed it as a joke, but her voice came out serious.

When Ranma heard this, his posture stiffened and he nervously asked, "Wh...Why would you say t-that?"

Akane blinked a few times. "Why did you just become even more nervous?"

"I... I'm not nervous," he squeaked. Get a grip, if she finds out now... he was dead!

Akane grabbed Ranma and turned him around. What she saw in his face shocked her. "You're scared. Why would my joke about Ryoga being P-Chan scare you?" She shook him violently.

"I... I... I..." Ranma lost all capacity to speak as he didn't want to reveal Ryoga's curse nor lie to Akane about this anymore.

Akane demanded, "Tell me Ryoga is not P-Chan!" He was now looking at her like a deer caught in headlights. She once again shook him violently, this time she yelled, "TELL ME HE ISN'T P-CHAN!"

But Ranma still could only stutter, "He... He... He..." She proceeded to throw him several meters away.

"He can't be P-Chan... I was joking, but... but..." she said as the idea of one of her friends and her pet being one and the same started to form into her head. When the connections were made, she screamed, "Dear GOD! Why didn't I notice it before?! The bandanna! That stupid bandanna. All the times he transformed near me and I didn't notice... wouldn't let myself notice." She proceeded to stare at the floor for the next several minutes.

Ranma looked at her with a lot of concern and was more than a little afraid she might carry out her threat.

Akane had to remind herself that she had promised to hear him. Still shaking in anger, she prayed he had a good excuse as she asked, "Ranma, how... how did it happen?"

"Umm...Its.. kinda...like this... While I was chasing after Pop, trying to kill him for turning me into a girl, I didn't notice that Ryoga was standing on the cliff and I... sorta ... knocked him off the cliff and into the pool of drowned pig."

"It was your fault?" Akane questioned in surprise.

Ranma nodded, his voice barely audible, "Yes."

Several minutes pass before she spoke, her voice still filled with anger, "Now I know why he wanted revenge. But why couldn't you have told me?"

Ranma scratched the back of his head. "I told you, it was my fault this happened. So, I promised him I wouldn't tell. I made the damned promise before he became your pet. More than once I came close to telling you his secret just to keep him from your bed. When I did try, you accused me of being a pervert or you just wouldn't listen. Also, if I told you, it would've made me no better than my Pop since I would've broken a promise. As it was, I still dropped more than a couple hints."

"Why did he become my pet?" Akane questioned.

Ranma closed his eyes. "Um... because he loved you."

Akane stared at Ranma in shock. "You can't be serious!"

Ranma's shoulders sagged. "It's the truth."

Akane slumped to the floor. "Oh... What am I suppose to do about him now?"

"Nothing really. Thanks to Akari, he's much more willing see us happily married. That's what prompted the last fight. He blamed me for the whole wedding fiasco. Not to mention the loss of the Nannichuan." Ranma watched her, hoping he wouldn't end up dead.

Akane looked up at the odd ceiling. What was she going to do? He had asked her to trust him, but he had kept an important secret like that from her. What other secrets hadn't he told her? Why didn't he tell her?... Because he promised Ryoga he wouldn't tell anyone... She guessed that meant she could trust him with a secret... But he should have told her! Secrets like that should not have been kept. She should beat the crap out of him for that. He would just recover in a couple minutes as if nothing happened, though.

Akane glanced at Ranma who was nervously watching her. Ranma didn't want to end up like his father, who had broken every promise he had ever made that she knew of except one. By making that promise he couldn't say anything, and when he tried to... she would beat him up for it. She realized she had already been punishing him for not telling her. She sighed. "Ranma, are there any other secrets I should know about?"

Ranma took a step away from her. "Ah... No. Ryoga's curse and the way I feel about you were the only secrets I had."

"If I find out otherwise, Ranma, you'll end up in a world of hurt," she said with barely a trace of anger he had expected.

Ranma relaxed a little. "I swear those are the only secrets I know of. But, I wouldn't discount Pop having a few secrets about me."

Akane raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Ranma shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe more fiancees, he's pissed off some demon that wants revenge, or some family curse. You know stuff that if I found out about, I would pound him into the ground for."

Akane crossed her arms. "Oh. And you don't know anything like that and haven't told me?"

"Nope." Ranma shook his head.

There was a long pause of silence, before Ranma asked, "How long do ya suppose we've been here?"

Akane pouted. "Don't know. It's hard to keep track of time. It might have been several hours."

"How long do you think we'll be here?" Ranma questioned in a worried tone.

Akane shrugged. "Maybe any time now."

Ranma scratched the back of his head. "But we could be here for days."

"Days!" Akane screeched. "I hope not! What do we do about food?"

Ranma calmly replied, "I doubt we have to worry about that."

Akane blinked. "Why?"

"I'm not hungry. If we've been here hours, I should be hungry, but I'm not," Ranma answered.

Akane almost crash to the ground from the shock of Ranma not being hungry. She blinked trying to figure out how that was possible. "You think it's a property of this prison?"

Ranma nodded. "Yep, saves trying to feed the prisoner."

"If that's the case, do you think Happosai used this prison to stay alive while trapped in that cave all those years?" Akane wondered.

Ranma shrugged. "Could be."

There was a very long pause before Akane mentioned, "We're running out of things to discuss."

"Yeah, um, well, let see..." Ranma let out a long sigh, guessing he should get this out of the way. "Um, when do you want to get... um... m-m-married?"

Akane nearly dented the floor from the sheer force of her shock that HE brought up when to get married. After a long moment of yet more silence, she sat up. "Not for a little while, at least. Perhaps just after we graduate."

Ranma nodded. "That's sorta what I was thinking. But we'll still have to get our parents to delay it that long."

"We may have to end up compromising," Akane mused, tapping her fingers on the ground. She smacked it when she got an idea. "How does this sound, if they don't back down after a while, we'll go with New Year's break of senior year."

"About a year to fourteen months?" Ranma shrugged. "Sounds okay to me."

Akane smiled while not believing any of this had happened. He had told her that he loved her! They even set the wedding date. She pinched herself to make sure it was not a dream. She looked down onto herself, noting they were alone, naked, and had no where to go... that sounded like a plot their fathers would've come up with to attempt to get them to have sex... That didn't sound like such a bad idea to her anymore. She HAD fantasized about being with him for some time now. Why shouldn't they have sex? They loved each other and they were engaged. She knew he was at least some what into the mood. She glanced over at him with a devious grin. A muted part of her mind wondered if Happosai's stay in this prison had any part of her current line of thought.

Meanwhile, Ranma was wondering how did this all happen? Yesterday was the normal bickering about Shampoo hugging him, and now they had admitted love for each other and even set a tentative wedding date. While it hadn't been bad so far, he really wanted to get out of there. He would go crazy if he stayed there too long.

Akane broke the silence when she stated, "We're alone, naked, and have no where to go. This sounds like something our parents would set up."

Ranma nodded. "Yep. But if they did we would be out of here now."

Akane blinked. "What makes you say that?"

Ranma shrugged. "Once we said that we loved each other they would have pulled us out."

"What if our means of escape is some sort trigger set off by something we do?" Akane questioned.

Ranma scratched his head. "It's possible but we've gone through the two main triggers they would have set up."

Akane nodded slowly. "Yes, but not the third or what Happosai would use as a trigger."

Ranma blinked. "What would that be?"

Akane shook her head, realizing she needed to be as subtle as an Amazon. She sighed. "Think Ranma. As I said before: we're alone, naked, and have no where to go. The trigger might for us... to... um... have s-sex."

"You can't be serious!?" Ranma screeched in shock.

Akane looked down. "I-I am serious, besides we're officially engaged now, our parents have absolutely no objections what so ever to us doing it."

Ranma gulped as he stared at Akane. "This is not how I planned on this happening. I wanted it to be more... special."

"Just doing it with you makes it special for me." Akane smiled seductively.

* * *

Some time later Akane awakened and was not very comfortable. She realized that the floor was very smooth and hard, while part of her is draped over... some guy. Her eyes flew open and took a quick survey. She was naked in a large sphere shaped room and Ranma was here also. "What did I do?"

"Hmm, Akane can you keep in down? I'm trying to sleep." Ranma rolled over while trying to pull the ground around him. His eyes flashed open. "Akane?!"

"Um... How did you sleep?" Akane's entire body was a deep shade of red.

"D-Did we really do it?" Ranma stammered.

"Do what? Profess love to each other, set a wedding date, or have sex?" Akane smiled coyly.

"Um, all of those," Ranma answered. He wasn't sure that this was some dream.

Akane hugged him tightly. "Yes, yes, and yes!" She said each 'yes' with more enthusiasm, and hugged him even tighter.

A few moments passed before Ranma gained any of his senses. Once found, he asked, "How long was I asleep?"

"Don't know, I feel asleep shortly after you did."

"Come up with any other ideas to get out?" Ranma wondered.

Akane shook her head. "Nope"

"So what are we going to do now, if I stay here too long I'm going to go crazy." The idea of being trapped continued to chip at Ranma's nerves.

"Well, I know a couple ways of distracting you from thinking about being trapped in here." Akane grinned devilishly.

Ranma gulped, he could tell that Akane was thinking about. And what she was thinking was still new to him and made him a little nervous. "I-I'm sure you can."


	4. Revelations

**Ranma 1/2: The Insanity Continues**

**Volume 1 - Trapped**

**Chapter 2 - Revelations**

_Written by: Lord Archive_

Characters are own Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

This series was originally written in 1997, long before ffnet existed. This is one of my first fanfictions. Some edits have been made to improve readability, but it remains as an example of early Ranma 1/2 fanfiction. When this was being written, elements of this story weren't cliched, it was creating the cliches. While this remains as one of my more popular Ranma 1/2 series, it is not without it's faults as I was new to writing stories and a complete translation of Ranma 1/2 manga had yet to appear in America when this was originally written more than fifteen years ago.

I will not be posting the adult side-stories that had been written with these chapters any time soon, especially not to ffnet.

* * *

It was quiet Sunday morning at the Tendo home. The source of the normal noise was absent. Nabiki, Kasumi, Genma, and Soun sat quietly at the table, finishing their breakfast. There was a black gem sitting on a pillow in the middle of the table.

"Nihao, here to free husband!" Shampoo bounced into the room.

Cologne followed her great-granddaughter into the room. "I am surprised to see you still have that gem and that it is intact. Anyway, I have discovered the means to free them. Where were they when they disappeared?"

The Tendo family and Genma pointed at the vacant side of the table, where Ranma and Akane usually sat.

Cologne rubbed her chin. "The table should be close enough. If you would clear the table, I can begin. Kasumi, please get them something to cover themselves up with."

Shampoo raised an eyebrow to this statement. While Kasumi rushed off, the others quickly cleared off the table. Just as Kasumi returned with a pair of robes, Cologne knocked the black gem and pillow off the table.

"What did you do that for?" Genma screeched as he dove for the gem.

"As I said before, 'I'm surprised you still have that gem and that it is intact.' I switched the gem with a marble to insure nothing bad could happen to it."

Genma growled at her.

"Now I shall begin." Cologne pulled out the gem and placed it on the table. She began to speak a Chinese chant, causing the gem to glow.

In a flash of dark light, Ranma and Akane appeared. They were both asleep, with Akane resting on top of Ranma. It was obvious to everyone in the room what the two had been doing before they fell asleep.

Shampoo's scream of horror drowned out the others' gasps of shock.

The loud noise woke Ranma and Akane from their deep, peaceful slumber. He looked up to see the source, and saw Cologne next to her. He groaned out, "Oh man."

Shampoo just stared at them with her mouth hanging open.

Cologne seemed to be looking through Akane and then stopped when she shook her head. "This is what I feared would happen."

Kasumi gave Ranma and Akane the robes, which they hastily put on.

Shampoo, recovered from the shock, advanced toward Akane snarling, "Violent girl no take husband."

Ranma prepared to protect Akane, but was surprised Cologne stopped Shampoo.

"It is too late child, Ranma has made his choice. It is over," Cologne said, flatly.

"It can't be too late." The irate Shampoo scowled demonically, but then her face returned to shock. "It only can be too late.. if.. if.. she's... she's... p-p-pr..." She couldn't finish what she was trying to say since she slumped to the ground, unconscious.

Cologne withdrew her staff, as she had hit the sleep shiatsu point on Shampoo to quiet the near hysterical girl.

"My little girl is all grown up! I'll go call a minister and have you two married right away!" Soun cried tears of joy.

"Our families will finally be joined!" Genma cheered, as he threatened to join his emotional friend.

Ranma stomped his foot to get their attention. "Hold it! Despite what we did while trapped, we decided it'd be best to hold off the actual wedding until we graduate."

Cologne let out a short laugh. "You have no choice, Ranma. Your actions have forced a quick marriage."

"What do ya mean by that?" Ranma demanded.

Cologne smirked at him. "I mean that Akane is..."

Akane began screaming, "Oh, No! No! No! NO! I can't be..." Her voice refused to say the last word.

Cologne simply said to her, "You are."

"She is what?" Ranma demanded.

"Pregnant," Cologne replied.

With that word, Ranma went into an impersonation of a deer caught in headlights.

Kasumi let out a loud gasped.

Genma and Soun shouted for joy, "We're going to be grandparents!"

Nabiki's pencil snapped as it was pressed into the notebook she was writing notes into.

Shampoo was still doing a good impression of a pile of cloths.

"Ranma you jerk! You got me pregnant!" Akane landed an uppercut on her fiance, sending him flying into the sky over Nerima. She then collapses onto her knees. "I'm too young. I've got another year of high school ahead of me. I can't be pregnant. I can't be."

"Do not try to be upset about the gift of life you now carry. I realize that this comes early in your life. It will bring additional challenges to you, but I'm sure you and Ranma are strong enough to over come them," Cologne assured the girl. She announced to the others, "I will be sending Mousse here to talk with Ranma about how to resolve some Amazon legal problems. Now Nabiki, I would like the Imprisonment Gem back."

Nabiki reluctantly handed Cologne a black gem.

The Amazon glared at her. "I said the Imprisonment Gem, the gem that held Ranma and Akane."

"Fine," Nabiki muttered, handing the gem to Cologne.

"Um, Cologne, are you sure I'm pregnant?" Akane asked with very little emotion in her voice.

"Once conceived, I can feel the life force of an unborn child. And the child in you is very strong indeed. I knew Ranma would father strong children. That is why I wanted him married to Shampoo," Cologne told her calmly.

Akane pouted. "Why have you surrendered your claim then?"

"The Amazons are a matriarch society. As such, we value motherhood above all else. If we bring harm to you, which includes taking Ranma away from you, Shampoo and I face far worse punishments than not bringing him back with us. Mousse will explain this to you and Ranma later." Cologne grabbed a nearby glass of water, splashed Shampoo, and picked up the now sleeping cat and her clothes, and left.

"I'm going to take a bath." Akane got up and shambled her way towards the bathing room.

Kasumi shook her head, not sure what to do. She looked at Akane's retreating form. The eldest Tendo sister decided it best to wait so she could figure out what to say and give her little sister some time to recover. She picked up the breakfast dishes and went back to the kitchen.

Genma and Soun were crying for joy about the joining of their family lines.

Nabiki sat lost in thought. This information was a gold mine. She could make a mint within an hour telling the various suitors. However, she couldn't stop thinking about what Akane had told her after the failed wedding. About what happened in Jusendo when her little sister almost died and Ranma had killed, and the true reason why the youngest Tendo didn't object to getting married. Besides, if Nabiki sold this to the suitors, they would be royally pissed off and would come to her home and wreck it, again. Perhaps, it would be more profitable to let the suitors find out on their own first, and then sell this bit of information to everyone else after the threat to her house, and her own little neck, had passed.

* * *

Outside Ucchan's, Ukyou swept the sidewalk in preparation for opening her store when Ranma finally landed from Akane's uppercut, right into a trash can.

"Ranchan? What happened this time? You're a mess!" Ukyou moved to help Ranma out of the trash can.

Ranma waved her off and freed himself. "I look like I feel then, huh?"

Ukyou looked at him quizzically. "What happened?"

"I'll explain later. Um, can I use your shower?" Ranma asked, failing to make eye contact.

Ukyou nodded happily. "Sure you can. I'll have something for you to eat when you get out."

"Thanks." Ranma scuffed his way into Ucchan's.

Ukyou smiled as she resumed her work. With Ranma looking so dejected, she had to wonder if Akane dumped him once and for all this time. Her smile grew at the thought.

* * *

Cologne entered the Neko-Hanten with Shampoo still asleep in her hands. Mousse prepared to open the restaurant and noticed them enter.

"What happened to Shampoo?" Mousse asked with concern.

"She's asleep. I'll explain what happened after the lunch rush. For now, get to work," Cologne replied.

"Asleep where?" Apparently Mousse did not see the white cat in Cologne's arms.

Cologne whapped Mousse in the head. "I'm holding her, stupid. Now wear your glasses." She stomped off and took Shampoo to her room.

"Why should she be asleep now?" Mousse wondered.

* * *

An hour later, Akane still sat in the Tendo bath with a blank look on her face. There was a knock at the door to the bath. Kasumi's soft voice then barely passed through the door. "Akane, I've got some cloths for you to wear. Mind if I come in?" After a moment passed without a response, she entered.

"Akane, are you okay?" Kasumi asked, concern heavy in her voice. She sat down on the side of the bath.

"I don't know," Akane replied so low that her sister barely heard her.

"I think it's wonderful that you're going to be a mother," Kasumi tried to say cheerfully, but did not fully succeed.

Akane scowled at her. "Big sister, please. I'm too young. I can't finish high school if, halfway through my final year, I'm going to give birth to a child."

"Teenage pregnancy isn't that rare of an event, and there are programs to help young mothers, like you, finish school," Kasumi assured her.

Akane blinked. "How do you know about stuff like that?"

"It was in one of the books I borrowed from Dr. Tofu," Kasumi answered.

Akane slouched back into the bath, her vacant look returning. "Oh... Father set up the time for my wedding already. Hasn't he?"

Kasumi nodded slowly. "Yes, it's scheduled for tomorrow after school."

Akane's eyes went wide. "Tomorrow?!"

"We can't delay it too long, can we," Kasumi pointed out.

Akane sighed. "I guess not. But, I still can't believe how much my life has changed, and is going to change. A few days ago, Ranma and I were fighting, he had three fiancees, and we couldn't admit our true feelings. Now I'm pregnant and I'll be married to him tomorrow."

Kasumi tenderly placed her hand on her sister's shoulder. "Yes, things have changed. Mostly for the better. But I'm sure you will be surprised at how much will stay the same."

Akane smiled a little, hoping what her sister said was true. "Thanks."

Kasumi returned the smile. "You're welcome."

"Has Ranma come back yet?" Akane wondered.

Kasumi frowned a little. "No, but judging by the way you hit him. I'd say he's at Ucchan's."

Akane slowly moved to stand. "I guess I should call him. I'll be out in a minute."

Kasumi smiled. "Are you okay now?"

Akane still didn't seem to look at anything, but her eyes began to focus a little. "I'm still not sure, but I'm feeling better."

* * *

Ranma stood under Ukyou's shower with a dazed look on his face. He wondered what he was going to do now? What little he had planned for the future has been stripped away. He wanted more time to be free. He don't want the responsibilities of being a husband and a father yet. This was not fair!

His thoughts were interrupted by Ukyou when she called, "Ranchan, Akane's on the phone and wants to talk with you."

"Thanks Ucchan, I'll get it in a second." Ranma turned off the shower and began to dry off. He hoped she was not upset still. He put on the robe Kasumi had given him earlier. He exited the bath area and went to the kitchen where Ukyou kept her phone. The young restaurant owner was in the room and could hear what he would say on the phone.

Ranma nervously picked up the phone. "Hello, Akane?"

"Hi, I'm sorry I hit you. I was just surprised at what Cologne told me," Akane said over the line.

"I'm surprised you didn't hit me harder." Ranma tried to laugh and failed. "Um, is what the old ghoul said true?"

Ukyou gazed at him, wishing to know what happened this time and what Cologne had to do with it.

Akane sighed. "I'm pretty sure it is. I doubt she would have done some of the things she did if they weren't."

Ranma shook his head. "I see. I guess delaying things are out of the question now."

"Yes, the time is set for tomorrow after school," Akane told him.

Ranma's frown deepened. "That soon. I guess I better tell Ucchan what has happened."

Akane didn't immediately reply. "Good luck, and come home soon."

Ranma involuntarily nodded. "Yeah, thanks. Bye."

"Bye." Akane hung up.

Ukyou looked at Ranma with nervous concern. She could tell something big had happened. Whatever it was had shaken her Ranchan.

Ranma was glad that Akane at least sounded okay. But now he had to do something he really didn't want to. He sighed heavily. "Ucchan, Konatsu, I need to talk to both of you in private."

A feeling of dread raced down her spine. She had a feeling she didn't want to hear this. "Sure thing, Ranchan. Konatsu, could you put the closed sign up?"

Konatsu bowed. "It would be my pleasure."

Ranma walked over to counter and sat down.

Konatsu sat down next to him while Ukyou stood behind the grill making breakfast for them. She placed a couple plates of okonomiyaki down in front of each of them. "So what do you want to talk about, Ranchan?"

Ranma shifted uneasily. "Well, I guess I should start at the beginning, huh? Several things have changed over the last couple days. It all began with Happosai getting pissed at me and he decided to trap me in a magical prison. He not only trapped me, but Akane as well."

Ukyou fidgeted with her serving spatula yet kept quiet.

Ranma nervously continued, "While trapped Akane and I started to talk about things like love and which of my fiancees that I love. I came to realize during that talk how much you really love me."

Ukyou blinked and then smiled lovingly at him with the radiance of a thousand stars.

Ranma averted his eyes. "But, I also realized that I don't share that love. You are one of my best friends, but I don't love you in the way one should love a wife. The way... I love... Akane."

The smile disappeared as if swept away by a black hole. "WHAT!?" Ukyou pounded on part of the counter. "How can you love that violent, uncute, gorilla? I'm the cute fiancee and I love you more than she ever will!"

"You might be right in saying you love me more..." Ranma sighed regretfully. "But that doesn't change that I love Akane more."

"How can you say you love her more if you always insult her?" Ukyou demanded.

Ranma shrugged weakly. "I'm not sure. It started when we met. It became a force of habit."

"So, you're going to marry her then?" Ukyou snapped.

"Yes, and you two are invited to the wedding," Ranma told her sheepishly.

"When?" Ukyou snarled.

"Tomorrow, after school," Ranma almost squeaked out.

"Tomorrow?!" Ukyou blinked. "Why the hell are you going to marry her tomorrow? You can't possibly want to marry her that soon!"

Ranma fidgeted. "We can't delay getting married."

"If you're serious about getting married, your parents shouldn't mind delaying it." Ukyou desperately wanted more time, to convince HER fiance he was making a mistake.

"Um... They want us to get married. We want to get married. Why should we wait?" Ranma hoped she wouldn't make him tell her the real reason.

"If you're marrying her, why did she punch you here and what does this have to do with the old ghoul?" Ukyou demanded, knowing their had to be a way to delay this.

Ranma shook his head. She would likely figure it out sooner or later. Secrets did have a bad tendency to come out and bite him in the ass. He took a deep breath. "It was the old ghoul who got us out of the magical prison. And 'bout when Akane punch me, it was 'cause the ghoul said..." His voice had trailed off to the point where no one could hear what he said.

"What did you say?" Ukyou leaned toward Ranma.

"I said Akane is pregnant," Ranma squeaked.

Konatsu looked at Ranma with a pleased yet stunned look.

Ukyou stared at Ranma. She then blinked, shook her head, and then stared some more. Kuonji then screamed like a banshee, "WHAT?!"

Ranma cowered, very afraid of the wrath of a female scorned. "Akane is pregnant."

"How?" Ukyou growled demonically.

"How do you think? Me and Akane were trapped in the prison for two days. We actual got to sit down and talk. One thing led to 'nother and we did it and now she's, you know." Ranma laughed nervously.

"Are you sure you want to marry her?" Ukyou asked coldly.

Ranma nodded. "Yes."

Ukyou's knuckles turned white from how hard she was gripping the handles. She stared at the boy who was supposed to be her fiance, but he had gotten one of her friends pregnant instead. She didn't understand it. He was her fiance. He was suppose to marry her.

Ranma watched with concern as Ukyou began to sway, uncertain if she was going to attack him.

Konatsu suddenly jumped over the grill and caught Ukyou when she collapsed into a crying fit. He carefully held her.

Ranma shifted nervous as his childhood friend sobbed. "I'm sorry, Ucchan. I hope you can forgive me. I want us all to be friends, and I really would like to see you at my wedding." He left, leaving Ukyou behind as she cried.

* * *

"I'm home," announced Ranma as he entered the Tendo home.

Akane quickly appeared in the hall. "How did it go?"

"As well as I could hope." Ranma shrugged sadly. "I asked her to come to the wedding, but I don't know if she'll come."

"I hope she does. It would help her get over you. You didn't leave her alone, did you?" Akane asked with concern.

"No, Konatsu is with her."

Nabiki appeared at the top of the stairs. "Oh good. You're both here. I have a splendid idea for a wedding present for you. How would guys like it if I solved you all your suitor problems?"

Akane scowled slightly. "I thought we already agreed that you were to do that after the wedding disaster."

"You only asked me to help you then, and I did as much as I could at that point. I spent the last month coming up with ideas, but I never agreed to give those ideas to you." Nabiki smirked devilishly.

"I don't know. Shampoo is already handled, I talked to Ucchan, and Akane should handle Ryoga," answered Ranma.

"That still leaves the Kunos and someone should check on Ukyou. Nabiki, that would be a nice gift if you could handle them," Akane said, still a little angrily.

"Excellent. So Ranma, you told Ukyou while you were out?" Nabiki questioned.

"Yeah." Ranma sagged.

"So what did you tell her?" Nabiki inquired.

Ranma looked away. "Everything."

"Everything?!" screeched Akane and Nabiki.

"She woulda figured it out sooner or later," Ranma defended.

"I'll check on Ukyou after I deal with the Kuno siblings. I'll see you love birds later." Nabiki grinned as she left.

"I was hoping she was going to cut off all my debts, but I guess this will be better. I wonder how much money she'll swindle out of Kuno before convincing him to leave us alone?" Ranma said to no one in particular.

Akane replied anyway, "Probably more than he can afford."

"Akane, are you okay?" Ranma asked with no little amount of concern.

"I guess I'm fine. It'll take time to adjust to all this," Akane answered sadly.

"It certainly will. Oh, when you talk to Ryoga, it might be best to talk to him while he's P-Chan," Ranma advised.

"Why?" Akane's eye twitched slightly.

Ranma grinned weakly at her. "Damage control. It'll prevent him from going ballistic before you finish talking to him."

"While you may be right about that," Akane said before she punched her fiance in the stomach. "You still need to learn to be more sensitive of other people's feelings." She left a bit angry and went to her room.

"What did I say?" Ranma asked himself aloud while holding his stomach.

* * *

The lunch rush had just ended and Mousse was busy cleaning the tables.

Cologne stirred a pot in the kitchen. The mess with Ranma was finally over. Unfortunately there is still the matter of finding Shampoo a husband. At least now she would be more inclined to look for one since the boy was no longer a valid choice. No matter what, though, she was going to have to train her husband to be a proper Amazon. She could work on making Mousse an acceptable husband for her great-granddaughter while she was at it. Must keep all options open after-all. Cologne knew the girl would awaken soon. It would be best to get rid of Mousse before she came down. She would likely try to kill him if he shows any kind of affection for her now.

Cologne stomped her cane twice. "Mousse, get over here. I have to tell you something."

"What do you want?" Mousse replied to the elder Amazon with contempt in his voice.

Cologne leveled her gaze at Mousse and said in Chinese, "For your inability to win Shampoo as your wife, for your interference in her marrying Ranma, and for your general lack of respect for not only for elders but women as well, you are here by banished from the Amazon tribes."

"What?" Mousse stared at a nearby plant in shock. "Banished!?"

"You are no longer of the tribe. You are an outsider," Cologne intoned in a deadly serious manner.

"An outsider? That means I can become Shampoo's husband by defeating her!" Mousse replied in Chinese. Trying to understand what happened, he had to asked, "Why?"

Cologne let a small smile slip out. "Ranma has not only chosen Akane, but has gotten her pregnant as well."

"He has?" Mousse's grin went ear to ear.

"Until you defeat Shampoo in battle, you are not welcomed here. I suggest you make arrangements to live with the Tendo and the Saotome families and train under Ranma until you are ready to fight Shampoo. Leave now," she ordered, still speaking in Chinese.

Mousse could only nod and left for his room and placed his few belongs into his robe and left. "At last! I can finally prove my love to her. Shampoo, I will marry you!" He ran towards the Tendo home.

* * *

Shampoo woke up as if she had a nightmare. She could not believe what she remembered. Her beloved would never be her husband now. With a heavy heart, she sadly made her way downstairs to the restaurant. She saw Cologne working in the kitchen alone, while the restaurant was empty.

"Great-grandmother, where is Mousse?" she asked nervously in Chinese.

"I sent him away. He will not bother you." replied Cologne, also in Chinese.

Shampoo didn't relaxed as she heard a certain sadness in Cologne's voice. "Please tell me what I remember is just a dream."

Cologne shook her head. "I'm afraid I can't."

"Aiya! Ranma ran off with Ryoga and got pregnant with his child!?" Shampoo cried out in despair.

Cologne stared at her with wide eyes while perched atop her cane. Slowly she tip over and landed face first onto the floor. After a second she got up and whacked the girl on the head. "NO! He chose Akane and she is pregnant with Ranma's child."

Shampoo muttered in Chinese as she neared a crying fit, "That is worse. At least if Ranma married pig-boy, I can admit defeat because I'm not a guy. But to Akane? Why? She's a violent, sexless, uncute, and can't cook. Why did he choose her?"

Cologne sighed. "Love has it's own reasons. I'm sorry, Shampoo. I wish it had worked out otherwise. You should go upstairs now, I'll call you down for the dinner rush."

Shampoo nodded and returned to her room. Thankful that her great-grandmother let her mourn in private.

* * *

Next to the koi pond, Ranma practiced his kata. He was wearing his usual Chinese outfit. He tried to imagine what his future is going to be like now. A shadow suddenly appeared over him.

"Hi, Mousse." Ranma tried to figure out if Chinese martial artist had come as friend or foe since no one told him to expect this visit.

"Saotome Ranma, is it true that you have chosen Tendo Akane to be your wife and that she is pregnant with your child?" announced Mousse loudly.

Ranma waved his hands down. "Geez Mousse, not so loud. And yes."

"You have made me very happy this day, Saotome." Mousse grinned like a kid in a candy factory. "You are no longer fit to be Shampoo's husband, and in order for Shampoo to return to the village she must be married or face the great shame. Preferably her husband has defeated her in combat and was trained by you. So, Cologne has sent me here, to be trained by you. Once my training is complete, I get to fight Shampoo and make her my wife." He began to dance around like an idiot.

"I'd be glad to help you, Mousse. How come you didn't tell me this option before?" Ranma wondered.

Mousse held up two fingers. "Two reasons. First, it is forbidden to speak of Amazon laws to outsiders unless they specifically ask for laws that deal with them. Secondly, it was not an option unless you got someone, besides your first defeated amazon, pregnant. And I doubted you would do such a thing, considering how many times Shampoo threw herself at you and you rejected each of those advances."

Ranma shrugged. "Well, I didn't expect it to happen this soon myself."

"What's done, is done." Mousse pulled out some throwing knives. "And I am eager to begin my training."

Ranma nodded. "Let's start now, first let's spar without use of weapons or special attacks."

"Okay." Mousse put the knives back up his sleeves.

Mousse leapt in front of Ranma and began to attack, however Saotome was only dodging.

"Why aren't you fighting back?" inquired Mousse.

"I'm just testing your unarmed skill level," Ranma replied simply.

"Makes sense," Mousse replied despite knowing that Saotome should know his skills rather well from their fights.

After several minutes, Ranma's stance changed. "All right, now dodge."

Mousse felt dozens of light impacts as Ranma pierced through his defenses in a matter of seconds.

"Without weapons you're a mediocre martial artist at best. Akane could defeat you blindfolded," Ranma shot at him.

"Oh, yeah?!" Mousse launched a series of attacks at a faster speed than previously thrown, but still did not connect.

* * *

Akane watched Ranma and Mousse spar from her window since they moved into view. She heard most of the conversation between them. Things definitely were changing. Ranma now even had a student to train. Mousse no less. She hoped things work out between Shampoo and Mousse.

After she watched them for a little while longer, Akane left her room. She returned with a couple boxes. She was going to have to store some of her stuff somewhere else, since she would be sharing her room with Ranma. She doubted he would want all this girl stuff in their room.

'Their room?' She didn't know if she would ever get used that.

Akane spent the next couple hours slowly putting many items of her youth into the boxes. The entire time she looked as if she was about to break down and cry.

A knock was heard at her door. "Come in."

"Hello, Dear," came the sweet voice of Saotome Nodoka, Ranma's mother.

"Auntie Saotome, hi. When did you get back from visiting your friends?" Akane asked.

Nodoka immediately hugged the girl. "Just a little while ago. I rushed back here when Kasumi called, telling me the great news."

"How much did she tell you?" Akane asked cautiously.

Nodoka smiled warmly at her. "That you and Ranma decided to get married tomorrow."

Akane sweated nervously. "She didn't tell you anything else?"

Nodoka raised an eye brow. "No. Is there a problem?"

Akane pulled away from her. "No. No problem at all."

Nodoka looked at her knowingly. "Come now. Something is troubling you. You can tell me."

"It... it's just that I'm pregnant," Akane said very meekly.

Nodoka eyes widen in surprise. "That's wonderful. When did it happen?"

Akane stared at the woman. What family is HAPPY when a seventeen-year-old girl tells them she won't finish school because she was pregnant. She shook her head. HER family, that's who. "Well, I guess it happened sometime Friday night or yesterday morning. You see, Ranma and I were trapped in a magical prison. After spending a long time of being trapped in there, well... one thing led into another and we ended up making love."

Nodoka looked confused. "If you only made love with him a couple days ago, how can you be sure you're pregnant?"

Akane sighed. "The Amazon matriarch, Cologne, is capable of seeing a person's life energy. She saw the life energy of my child."

"Can you trust what she said?" Nodoka wondered sceptically.

Akane turned away. "She wanted Ranma to marry Shampoo due to some stupid Amazon laws. It is only because I'm pregnant that Ranma can't marry Shampoo."

"Now Akane, how do you feel about all of this?" Nodoka asked with obvious concern.

"I'm fine. It... It's just going to be hard to adjust to all the changes. Tomorrow, I'll be Saotome Akane. This will no longer be my room, but Ranma's and mine. I will not be able to attend my last year of high school with my friends because I'm going to be a mother." The tears Akane had held back for the past couple hours rushed out.

"Everything will work out fine." Nodoka held her future daughter-in-law.

"I've messed everything up." Akane sobbed. "Ranma and I were planning on getting married after we graduated, but now I'm pregnant. And we have to get married tomorrow. The little girl that I was, is dead."

"We each grow up at our own pace, some faster than others. You have turned out to be a beautiful young woman, and you will be a great mother," Nodoka assured her.

Akane shook her head fiercely. "Some great mother I'll be, I can't cook, sew, or anything else a mother should be able to do."

"Those are not things that make a great mother. Kindness, compassion, and love makes for a great mother. Things which you have in abundance," Nodoka corrected.

"Auntie..." Akane began as broke Nodoka's hug.

"Call me Mother. After all you are marrying my son tomorrow," Nodoka requested.

"I'd rather not." Akane's eyes fell upon a picture of her mother.

Nodoka saw what Akane was looking at. "I understand why you don't want to call me 'mother.' At least consider calling me 'Mom,' like Ranma does."

Akane nodded. "I would like to be alone right now, and finish putting away some of my old stuff."

"Just remember that little girl you once were is still alive inside you. You should never try and forget, nor deny, her presence," Nodoka advised.

Akane tried to smile. "I'll remember."

* * *

Author's Notes:

I'd like to give thanks to those who original pre-read of this chapter: David Tatum, Byran Neef, and The Rams.

Just a note about the 'Mousse/Shampoo' pairing: Mousse may not end up with Shampoo. This is just a starting point to a long running plot line that would take years to finish. He may not end up with Shampoo because she lost to someone else before he could beat her or he fell in love with someone else. He might win and Shampoo could still reject him as Ranma rejected her. Let's not forget that the Ranma crew may try to play match maker for these two and help Shampoo love Mousse.


	5. Dealing with Love

**Ranma 1/2: The Insanity Continues**

**Volume 1 - Trapped**

**Chapter 3 - Dealing with Love**

_Written by Lord Archive_

Characters are own Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

This series was originally written in 1997, long before ffnet existed. This is one of my first fanfictions. Some edits have been made to improve readability, but it remains as an example of early Ranma 1/2 fanfiction. When this was being written, elements of this story weren't cliched, it was creating the cliches. While this remains as one of my more popular Ranma 1/2 series, it is not without it's faults as I was new to writing stories and a complete translation of Ranma 1/2 manga had yet to appear in America when this was originally written more than fifteen years ago.

* * *

Nabiki approached the Kuno mansion. She was here to handle a little present for her sister and Ranma. They were to be married tomorrow, and she was going to remove the Kuno siblings as a threat. Nabiki rang the bell at the front gate, waiting for one of the servants to answer.

A short man answered the bell. "What business do you have here today?"

"I am here to see Kodachi and Tatewaki concerning their love interests," Nabiki answered.

"Master Kuno is not here currently, but I shall inform Mistress Kodachi that you wish to see her." The servant left her at the gate as he returned to the house.

Several minutes later the servant returned. "She will see you now. Follow me."

Nabiki nodded and followed the servant to a large pond. Apparently it was feeding time for her 'little' pet. She hoped Kodachi had enough sense not to add her to the alligator's diet.

"What news do have about my darling Ranma-sama?" Kodachi asked.

"Now you know I don't give information freely," Nabiki replied.

Kodachi focused on her pet alligator. "Of course. How much is this information you have?"

"A favor and a deal," Nabiki answered simply.

Kodachi stared at her in surprise. "What? No money?"

Nabiki shook her head. "Not this time."

"Tell me what the favor and deal are, and I shall consider them," Kodachi requested suspiciously.

Nabiki frowned. "The favor is you do not interfere in anything Ranma does until sunrise Tuesday."

Kodachi looked at Nabiki skeptically. "And the deal?"

Nabiki bit back a sigh and gazed at her seriously. "I will help you find other love interests."

Kodachi scowled darkly. "My darling Ranma-sama is all I need."

Nabiki pointed at the girl. "Now Kodachi, you know full well that he has no romantic feelings for you. Pursuing him is only making you look like a fool."

Kodachi's glare intensified, then she turned her gaze at the pond. "He is the only man to ever make me feel this way. I must have him. He should be mine and not belong to some lowly wench."

Nabiki folded her arms. "There are other men out there that you may find as attractive, if not more so. You know there is nothing you can do that will win him. You can accept my offer and walk away from this with something."

"The information you have... it is that Ranma will marry your sister tomorrow, isn't it?" Kodachi eyed the middle Tendo sister evilly.

"I cannot say until we make agreement," Nabiki replied passively.

Kodachi looked at her for a sign, wanting to know if she was right or not. She couldn't tell, but suspected she was correct. Ranma should be hers! She should stop this... and Ranma would hate her even more. He made his displeasure clear to her about my involvement in that fiasco of a wedding.

Kodachi gazed again into the pool. To try and prevent the wedding and farther push Ranma away, or accept the offer and be able to walk away with a promise from this mercenary to help her find someone to love... Ranma should be hers, for she could offer him the world and her love, and yet he stayed with that wench. What could that girl offer that she could not? She had money, power, and status. What did the girl have?

The youngest Kuno let out a long sigh. She knew the answer. His love, that was what Akane had. And, to interfere would likely cause him to be hostile towards me. She would rather see him married to another before that.

Kodachi turned back to Nabiki. "Very well, I shall accept your deal provided I don't pay for your services and I promise not to interfere with anything he does from now until sunrise Tuesday."

"Agreed," Nabiki replied. "And, you are correct, Ranma and Akane are to be married after-school tomorrow."

Kodachi ripped a piece of steak in half before flinging a chunk into the pond. "See that I have a date for that event."

"I don't think you'll be invited," Nabiki deadpanned.

Kodachi glared. "I shall attend Ranma's wedding, even if I am not the bride."

Nabiki shrugged. "I'll see what I can do."

"See that you succeed. Have you spoken to brother-dearest yet?" Kodachi wondered.

Nabiki shook her head. "Not yet."

Kodachi nodded in thought. "I shall give you certain criteria I expect of possible love interests after you've talked with him."

Nabiki didn't see a problem with that. It might make her job easier. "Fine by me."

* * *

Nabiki waited in the study for some time for Kuno's return. She looked over several books of poetry and was getting quite bored.

"So, Tendo Nabiki is interested in poetry. Is it your wish for that I recite some of my favorite works for you?" Kuno questioned.

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Maybe another time. I am here about news concerning my sister and the pig-tailed girl."

"What news does thou have of my goddesses?" Kuno elated.

"First we have to make a little deal." Nabiki grinned. "I can tell you where to find your pig-tailed goddess whenever you want, but you will no longer chase after Akane nor interfere in her relationship with Ranma."

"What? To know where the healthy pig-tailed goddess is, and yet to know is to lose my goddess of the hunt. What to do? What to do?" Kuno cried out.

Nabiki shook her head. "Now Kuno, you do know that Akane is bound by a promise my father made to have marry Ranma? Even if she didn't want to marry him, she has to. And she does want to marry him, without any coercion, magic, or any other means of enslavement."

"And why would she want to marry such a vile sorcerer?" Kuno demanded.

"Because she loves him," Nabiki answered simply yet firmly.

"LOVE?! How can she love that foul sorcerer?!" Kuno yelled in outrage.

"Because she does, and as I said, 'she is bound by my father's promise to marry him.' To interfere brings shame to you and your family, even if he is as bad as you think or if is she didn't want to. So, if you care for your nobility, you will accept my offer," Nabiki stated coldly.

Kuno posed dramatically. "The Kuno clan is nothing if not noble clan, but I cannot sit aside and let that vile sorcerer have his way with Tendo Akane."

"But it is not just his way, it is also the way of the Tendo and Saotome clans that they marry. Our families demand that they marry. Akane will face great shame if she does not marry him. Do you want that? Do you want to ruin Akane's status, as well as your own, to act in any way against her wishes?" Nabiki challenged.

"No, I do not," Kuno said meekly.

"Then you will accept my offer?" Nabiki asked coolly.

Kuno reluctantly nodded. "Yes, I shall accept."

"Good." Nabiki nodded. "The news is that Akane and Ranma have decided to be married tomorrow."

"WHAT?!" Kuno screamed.

Nabiki waved her finger at him. "Remember our deal, Kuno-chan. THEY have decided to marry. It is Akane's wish to marry him tomorrow, the decision was not made by my father nor Ranma's parents."

"I will confirm this," Kuno intoned.

"Of course." Nabiki held up a video tape, that seemingly came out of nowhere. "Now to show you how to find the pig-tailed girl. This tape has not been altered in any way. What you see is the truth." She handed the young man the tape.

Kuno walked over to the VCR in the study, put it in and press play. He turned on the television to see what was promised to be on the tape.

The video tape showed Ranma turning from a guy into a girl and from a girl into a guy at various times and in different situations. It also showed no break in Ranma's action. When Ranma was talking, he would complete the sentence even if changed halfway through saying it. When he was fighting he would complete his attack, despite the gender shift. Certain people, like Akane, Ukyou, Shampoo and several others showed no difference in behavior towards either form, while people in the background sometimes looked startled.

"What sorcery is this?!" Kuno yelled, after the shock of what was on the tape wore off.

"The sorcery in question is a curse Ranma picked up in China." Nabiki folded her arms. "Whenever he is splashed with cold water his body is transformed into a girl. His mind, however, does not."

Kuno raised his bokken to the air. "This is fallacy. Trickery! I cannot accept what you say."

Nabiki poked the young man in the chest. "Kuno, how about all the times he has changed in your presence? They are the same person."

"It is sorcery I say. Sorcery!" Tatewaki protested. "That is how the coward flees from my presence by switching places with her."

Nabiki shook her head. "Perhaps seeing another cursed individual will help convince you."

Kuno stared at Nabiki coldly.

"And a statement from a doctor," Nabiki added.

"It might," Kuno failed to promise.

* * *

Kuno and Nabiki approached Dr. Tofu's clinic. She was glad that Genma worked today, so she could use him as the cursed subject. During the walk over to the clinic she tried to convince the young man about the curse and ensure he would no longer chase Akane.

"Hello, Mr. Saotome," Nabiki greeted the cheerfully whistling panda as they arrived.

"Growf," replied the panda, who was sweeping the sidewalk.

"Why do you refer to this creature as 'Mr. Saotome?'" Kuno asked.

"Because, he's Ranma's father. He got cursed with a panda's body at the same time as Ranma got cursed," Nabiki told him in a neutral tone.

Kuno looked down at her. "That would prove nothing. His father would employ the same sorcery on this creature as Ranma has on the pig-tailed girl."

Nabiki shook her head. "How about we have a little test? You say something to him, and then I'll have him change into his human form and then have him repeat it. If they had switched places, he could not possibly know of what you said."

"We shall attempt your test." Kuno turned toward the panda. "The message I wish to be repeated is: 'Lies shall not keep me from my love.'"

"All right Mr. Saotome, unless you wish him to interfere with the wedding, I suggest you change back," Nabiki commanded.

Genma shrugged and entered the clinic, followed by Nabiki and Kuno. He walked over to the kitchen area, picked up a kettle of hot water and poured it on his head in front of the young man.

Kuno blinked at him changing forms. "Now repeat my message."

"'Lies shall not keep me from my love,'" Genma replied.

"Satisfied?" Nabiki asked.

"No! The sorcery may have given that knowledge to him," Kuno denied.

Nabiki wanted to beat her head against the wall. No, she wanted to beat Tatewaki's head against the wall. "You can also get the word of Dr. Tofu about the curse."

Kuno gave a firm nod. "I shall."

Dr. Tofu entered the waiting room as he gave some last minute medical advice to one of his patients.

"Hello, Dr. Tofu. I'd like you to explain to Kuno, here, about the Jusenkyo curses. And tell him of some of the victims you know of."

"Hello, Nabiki. I guess I can explain what I know of them, since my next patient isn't here yet." Dr. Tofu led Kuno into his office and sat down.

The young looking doctor began, "Genma, Ranma, Shampoo, and Mousse are all victims of the cursed springs of Jusenkyo. There are over a hundred springs, each one has it's own curse, changing whoever falls into that spring into that which drowned there. The springs that are known to exist are drowned girl, panda, cat, duck, little boy, piglet, octopus, yeti riding bull carrying crane and eel, Akane..."

"'Akane?'" Kuno asked, shocked.

"She was drowned to make a spring so that one of Ranma's enemies could use her form to get near him. They kept her alive as insurance against him," Dr. Tofu related.

Kuno frowned. "So, more than one person holds the visage of Tendo Akane?"

"Correct," Dr. Tofu replied, and then continued, "Hot water changes the cursed individual back to normal, and cold water turns them into their cursed form. Save for a couple pools, like the good Samaritan cursed spring, the curse does not directly affect the mind of the cursed individual."

"Is Saotome Ranma's curse like that?" Kuno questioned.

Dr. Tofu shook his head. "His mind isn't directly affected."

"What do you mean 'directly affected?'" Kuno asked.

"I mean that the curse doesn't have a separate personality that overrides Ranma's mind when he's in his cursed form. The curse, however, will have affects by its very nature. Having water be able to change you into a form that is not your own will alter your mind in some ways," Dr. Tofu explained.

"This is not some sorcery that Ranma has enacted on the pig-tailed girl?" Kuno asked in almost a pleading voice.

Dr. Tofu stifled himself from laughing at the young man. "No, Ranma had no part in gaining the curse beyond falling into the pool, nor does he even like the curse. The girl that drowned at the Jusenkyo pool died fifteen hundred years ago."

"Thank you for your time, doctor." Kuno was still unsure whether to believe what he had been told and intended to confirm it. But enough evidence had seeped in for him to admit that it was possible his pig-tailed goddess may be a deception. And if it was, Ranma shall pay for it.

He exited the office and was greeted by Nabiki. "Satisfied now?"

"For now I see the possibility that your words ring true, but I shall make certain that this is not the deception." Kuno turned and left the clinic.

Nabiki followed him. She still needed to get Kodachi's list.

* * *

As Nabiki approached Ucchan's, she gave a quick prayer, hoping Ranma hadn't mess up things too badly with Ukyou. Entering the restaurant, she saw that Ukyou had so completely absorbed into cooking, the chef didn't offer any greeting. She nodded to herself that there were only two customers here as she didn't want to make too much of a scene.

Nabiki first went to Konatsu and told him, "Please, keep your eyes on Ukyou. Don't leave her alone for a minute."

Konatsu replied, "I would never leave her in this time of need."

Nabiki then went to the counter and said in a friendly tone, "Hello, I'd like two of your specials."

"Hi, coming right up," Ukyou replied without emotion.

As the young chef finished the order, Nabiki asked, "So how is one of my favorite customers doing?"

"How do you think I feel? Ranchan left me for your sister!" Ukyou shouted in anger, crushing her spatula in her hand.

The two customers jumped at the outburst.

"You probably feel terrible, and besides, you know I had nothing to do with him choosing her. It was in my best interests to keep his relationships unresolved," Nabiki returned.

The two customers returned to eating as they attempted to ignore the rest of the conversation.

"You would have continued pitting us against your sister for Ranma's love?" Ukyou hissed out.

Nabiki shrugged like it was nothing to her. "Sure. It was a great source of income."

"You helped delude us into thinking we had a chance for Ranma's heart! Just for money! Don't you love anything beside money?" Ukyou demanded

"My family," Nabiki replied simply.

"How can you say that, when you've caused your own sister no end of misery over this suitor business?" Ukyou accused.

"Because I know my sister, she wasn't ready to get married and she loves a challenge. If there wasn't any competition for him, she wouldn't have any feeling of accomplishment when she finally won. And you gave her a real challenge. You've known him the longest. In terms of martial arts and marital skills, you beat her hands down," Nabiki explained.

"If I'm so much better than Akane, why did he chose her?" Ukyou snarled.

Nabiki shrugged. "Can't say for sure. I guess, in the end, it came down to love. And love, as we all know, can be blind."

"Gee, that sure helped me figure things out." Ukyou said sarcastically.

"Look, I know it hurts to lose someone you're in love with. At least he is alive and you should try to be happy for him. The world won't end tomorrow. It'll just feel like it. Eventually the pain will fade away. And when it does you can try to find love anew," Nabiki advised.

"I don't think I'll love anyone the way I love Ranchan," Ukyou remarked bitterly.

"I have no doubt of that," Nabiki agreed. "No one ever loves two people the same way, because that would mean they're the same person. But you will eventually find and love, someone who loves you back. If you need help finding him, just let me know."

Ukyou glared. "I would have to be pretty desperate to ask you for help."

Nabiki smirked. "You would be surprised at how many desperate guys and girls I've helped."

"Judging from the 'Tendo Akane Fan Club,' there has to be a lot of desperate people out there, and I don't want to be one of them right now," Ukyou groused bitterly.

"That's good. Oh... Look at the time, I've got to go. But, in waiver of a fee for talking with me, I just want you to promise that, no matter how bad you feel, you won't do anything stupid or rash, like stop the wedding or commit suicide," Nabiki stated in a business tone.

Ukyou stared at her. "What kind of person do you take me for?"

"A very sad, upset, and angry person. A person who might be capable of doing anything," Nabiki explained simply.

Ukyou clenched a fist. "The only stupid or rash thought I'm fighting right now is the one that says I should beat the crap out of you."

Nabiki looked at her calmly, ignoring the threat completely. "Just remember, Ranma would never forgive himself if you commit suicide, nor forgive you if try to stop the wedding." She then put fifteen hundred yen on the counter for the meal and left.

Ukyou stood there and made a silent oath to herself, "I promise I won't do any stupid or rash. I will be happy for Ranma. And one day, I'll find someone to love who loves me." She then snarled angrily, Nabiki's bill had been sixteen hundred yen. She then returned to work as Konatsu continued to silently watch over her.

* * *

Everyone had finished dinner. Mousse and Nodoka were still present. Kasumi had left to work on the dishes, and Akane had returned to her room. Ranma was about to follow her, but he was stopped by Soun's announcement, "Well, my boy, you're finally going to marry my daughter. I think we should celebrate."

Genma added with a grin, "I agree, Tendo. I even got out the special sake I've been saving just for an occasion like this."

"Come on Nabiki, let's leave these boys to their impromptu bachelor party," Nodoka suggested strongly.

Nabiki almost whined, "It would be fun watching them get drunk."

"But it's more fun to find out where they end up in the morning," joked Nodoka.

"As long as I get to take photos of them," Nabiki demanded.

"I'll leave you men to your party," Nodoka told them in an amused tone.

"Do try to avoid being the dancing girl, little bro," Nabiki added before following Nodoka out of the room.

"This could be fun," Mousse grinned.

"If any of you try to get me to be the dancing girl, I'll kill you. Understand?" snarled Ranma.

The others laughed and Genma said, "I will not permit that to happen. I certainly wouldn't want to upset your mother."

As the sake was passed around the conversational quality of what was said went out the window.

* * *

Akane sat on her bed, looking out her window. When she heard a knock at her door, she called out, "Enter."

Nabiki opened the door, entered and sat down on the desk chair.

"Where's Ranma? We were going to talk now," Akane asked angrily.

"Dad stopped him. He decided to throw Ranma an impromptu bachelor party," Nabiki replied.

Akane's eyes went wide. "They're having a what?!"

"A bachelor party, Auntie feels it's important that the guys have the party to celebrate the end Ranma's childhood and the beginning of true adulthood. At least that's what she told me." Nabiki shrugged.

Akane eyed her sister. "How come you're not down there video taping it?"

Nabiki frowned. "Auntie won't let me, but I do get to take photos of them in the morning."

"I wonder what Ranma will look like," Akane said with a slight grin.

"Probably hunched over the toilet and in great pain," Nabiki quipped.

"Big sis, how's Ukyou?" Akane asked, concerned.

Nabiki sighed. "I'm not sure. I don't think she'll do anything stupid. But I can't be sure with her. I told Konatsu to keep an eye on her."

"I hope she's okay. How did it go with the Kuno and Kodachi?" Akane wondered.

"They won't be chasing after either of you for a date anymore. Given Ranma's and Kuno-chan's history, though, I doubt that they've had their last battle," Nabiki answered.

Akane's eyed her sister suspiciously. "How did you get them to agree to stop?"

"Kodachi was surprisingly easy. I got her to stop by promising to help her land some boyfriends. As it is, I already got her a date with Sanzenin Mikado. For Kuno-chan, I made him swear an oath to not interfere with you and Ranma if I told him how he could find his pig-tailed goddess," Nabiki finished with a grin.

"You didn't!?" Akane gasped.

"Once he agreed, I proved to him that Ranma is his pig-tailed goddess," Nabiki grinned.

"What? Are you nuts? Kuno is going to want to kill Ranma," Akane morbidly dreaded.

"Like he didn't want Ranma dead before. And as I said, he will not attack either of you because he wants a date." Nabiki smirked.

"If Ranma ends up getting a hang-over, I may to have to fight Kuno." Akane shook her head.

"I doubt it, Ranma will end up kicking Kuno into orbit for talking to loud. Oops, it's getting late, I better get to my homework. Good night." Nabiki quickly left for her room.

"Good night," Akane tried to reply, but wondered if she functionally just said that to the door.

Akane resumed looking out the window. Her thoughts drifted over what had occurred. Everything was changing. By this time tomorrow she would officially be married to Ranma. She was even pregnant already. A mother while still in high school. What had she been thinking when she got Ranma to have sex with her? She should've known she was fertile and should've at least waited longer before trying that idea.

Akane shook her head. She was unable to bring up her fabled anger. She had screwed up and sent both Ranma's and my life through the blender. At least it would be nice that she no longer had to worry about his suitors anymore. Ranma was hers, and nothing was going to change that now.

The youngest Tendo sighed. What about her suitor problems? Nabiki was handling everyone except Ryoga as he was a problem she had to deal with. She couldn't believe he had done that. She just couldn't believe he would be content to be a pet. Why couldn't she have seen it before that Ryoga was P-Chan?

Akane looked down. She didn't want to believe Ryoga was her pet. Deep down she knew he was, but she couldn't allow herself to see it. She couldn't believe someone would be her pet anymore than Kuno could believe his pig-tailed girl was Ranma. She guessed, in a way, all the trouble she had caused Ranma over P-Chan was her fault. She should've known, but she could never let herself know. So many problems had happened because of her.

An hour had passed when she noticed that something was trying climb into her window. It was P-Chan.

"Hello there," Akane said in a tone a little colder than usual as she picked up P-Chan. "I've got some things to say to you."

P-Chan began to nervously move, fearing that she had finally found out about the curse.

"Where to start? Well, two days ago Ranma and I were able to have a long private talk. While talking, we admitted we love each other," Akane announced with increasing in warmth in her voice.

P-Chan relaxed. Ranma had finally gotten the courage to tell her.

Akane grinned, "We decided to get married."

The pig frowned. At least he still had Akari.

"The wedding is tomorrow," Akane told him.

P-Chan's eyes went wide. "Bweeep?" That soon?

"Of course you're invited," Akane said with a smile and then frowned a bit. "But, that wasn't all we talked about. While talking with Ranma I asked why he always kept fighting Ryoga."

P-Chan began to squirm in fear.

"He wouldn't tell me. No matter how hard I pushed," Akane informed coldly.

The pig eased up trying to escape, but was not sure he was safe.

"But, when I joked that you and Ryoga were one and the same, I would kill him. He got really nervous when I said that," Akane added with a touch of anger.

P-Chan froze, staring at the girl in absolute terror, dreading what was to come next.

Akane closed her eyes. "I finally figured it out. You really disappointed me. You should have told me, Ryoga. I am trying to understand why you decided to become my pet."

"Bweep eep bukweep," P-Chan tried to oink out his love for her.

"I want you to promise me something, Ryoga. You will never, ever fight Ranma for what has happened in the past. Do you understand? You will not attack Ranma or I'll make roast piglet out of you," Akane demanded harshly.

P-Chan nodded his head and emitted, "bweeep."

"You need to stop blaming others for your mistakes. While Ranma may have knocked you into the cursed pool, you're as much at fault for following him," Akane told him bitterly.

P-Chan's eyes quirked. His fault for following him?

"Now, I would like to see you and Ranma to become friends. Can you try to do that for me? Please?" Akane pleaded.

P-Chan once again nodded and replied, "bweeep."

Akane gave him a small smile. "Good. Now let's get you downstairs so you can join Ranma's bachelor party."

"Bwee Bweeep?" The pig wondered if he heard that right.

Akane got up, carried P-Chan to the bath and opened the door, set him down, and shut the door. A moment later a splash was heard then the sounds of someone getting dressed.

Akane bowed her head sadly with the undeniable truth in the next room, while wishing this was all a cruel joke. The door opened revealing Ryoga.

"Akane, you aren't mad?" Ryoga asked.

Akane shook her head. "Not mad, just very disappointed."

Ryoga sagged. "I don't blame you if you hate me."

Akane looked down. "I don't hate you, I still consider you a friend. But, it may be a while before I completely forgive you."

Ryoga nodded. "I understand."

"Now hurry up and join that party." Akane guided him toward the family room.

Ryoga reluctantly went along.

Akane opened the door to the remnants of the party and saw Genma and Soun passed out, while Mousse and Happosai were apparently trying drink the other under the table. It looked like Mousse was winning.

"I brought someone who should be in this party," Akane announced as she pushed Ryoga into the room.

"Greetings, Ryoga," Mousse greeted.

"Hiya," Happosai slurred.

"Sit down and join what's left of the festivities," encouraged Mousse.

"Ah, okay." Ryoga nervously sat down.

"So, where's the groom?" Akane asked.

"Praying to the porcelain god. He really can't hold his liquor," Mousse replied smugly.

Akane left them to finish the party and went to the bathroom to check on Ranma. Sure enough, her now female fiance was asleep curled up next to the toilet. She started to go over to the girl, but got a devious idea and turned around and left. She returned a minute later with Nabiki and who had brought a camera.

Nabiki took several pictures of Ranma.

Then Akane dragged the drunken girl she would be marrying soon into the bath area to get her cleaned up, using cold water as Ranma was lighter and easier to move as a girl. Once accomplished, Akane dragged the girl unceremoniously up the stairs and put her soon-to-be-spouse to bed before she went to bed herself.

* * *

Female Ranma opened her eyes slowly as her fiancee shook her.

"Wake up, already!" Akane seemingly shouted.

Ranma turned green, bile raising in her throat. "Ugh, I feel sick. Did you hit me too hard last night?"

"No," Akane replied as she let go of the girl, who fell heavily back into the futon.

"Argh. What a weird dream last night. It was nice, but scary," Ranma muttered.

Akane raised an eyebrow. "Care to tell me about the dream?"

Ranma fidgeted. "Um... er... I'd rather not."

Akane eyed Ranma suspiciously. "Let's see if I can guess it. We got trapped in a magical prison, declared our love for each other, planned to get married, had sex, got pregnant, and moved up the wedding date." She giggled seeing her fiance's stupefied face.

Ranma looked at her disbelievingly. "It wasn't a dream?"

"If it's a dream, we're living it," Akane replied with a smile.

Ranma sagged. "I hope this dream doesn't turn into a nightmare."

Akane pouted at the girl. "We'll just have to work to prevent that."

"I guess the roller-coaster ride that is my life isn't done yet." Ranma massaged her head.

"Not yet. By the way Mousse is waiting for his morning practice," Akane informed him.

Ranma held her head in pain. With this headache, she would never be able to handle teaching today. If only there was... well, maybe she could ask... She looked at her fiancee. "Say... you wouldn't want to take care of it today, would you?"

"I'd love too," Akane joyfully replied.

"Just work on his endurance and ability to dodge," Ranma advised.

"You don't want me to spar with him?" Akane asked with a tinge of anger.

"Well, you won't be much fun tonight if you get hurt," Ranma commented with a slight grin.

"You pervert!" Akane growled while she laughed. She grabbed the pillow from Genma's futon and smacked the girl in the face. "Okay, I don't want to spoil tonight's fun either." She kissed her fiance before she left.

This was going to take some time getting used to. Her head throbbed painfully. Why had she drank so much?

"I hope you weren't the female entertainment last night," Nodoka remarked from the doorway of their room.

"I don't think I was," Ranma replied.

"So how are you feeling?" Nodoka asked, pulling Ranma's stuff from the closet.

"Fine, if you don't count a splitting headache. Mom, what are you doing?" Ranma wondered.

"Moving your stuff into Akane's room. You'll be sleeping there from now on," Nodoka reminded.

"Oh, right." Ranma sighed. "I'm not sure if I'm ready for all of this."

"It doesn't matter now if you're ready. You must face the challenges of being a good husband and, very soon, a father," Nodoka told him seriously.

"I hope I don't botch the job as spectacularly as Pop has," Ranma replied, presenting her female body. "Considering what a great body for a man amongst men he cursed me with."

"He definitely could have done a better job, but he certainly raised a unique individual. And your manliness does show through even when you're in a female body," Nodoka said fondly.

"Yeah, well, I won't make the mistake of taking my kids away from their mother," Ranma muttered.

"It's nice to hear that." Nodoka smirked. "But I doubt Akane would let you do that and live."

Ranma regretted letting out a laugh. "Probably right about that. Um, can I get some of my clothes before you move all of them."

Nodoka almost did as the girl asked, but then stopped herself. "Of course, but I want to give you a little advice first."

Ranma blinked. "Advice about what?"

"Being a good husband," Nodoka said seriously.

"Too bad no one gave Pop that advice." Ranma smirked.

"I'm sure they did. It was either poor advice or he ignored it," Nodoka giggled.

Ranma laughed. "So, what did you want to say?" She grabbed her head, cursing the hangover.

"First, don't lie to your wife, she'll find out eventually. Second, don't make promises you can't or don't intend to keep, it'll come back to haunt you. Third, don't be afraid to admit a mistake, it causes less grief in the long run," Nodoka advised.

Ranma nodded and added, "Fourth, don't try to keep any secrets, she'll find out at the worst possible moment."

Nodoka nodded and handed over a change of clothes. "Here you go, Dear. You'd better hurry up and get ready."

"Thanks," Ranma replied, grabbing a pair of boxers and T-shirt from the dresser before dashing off to get changed.

* * *

In the Tendo dining room, Soun and Genma were still sleeping to one side of the room. Ryoga and Nabiki sat on one side of the table while Akane sat at her usual spot when Ranma entered. Mousse was seen outside running past the koi pond with a large stone statue on his back.

"Hi Ryoga, when did ya get here?" Ranma asked in friendly manner, showing no signs of a hangover.

It was all Ranma's fault he got a hangover from that stupid bachelor party. He should... Ryoga stopped that line of thought as he looked at Akane, who was gazing at the young Saotome and was smiling brightly. He coldn't fight him. His first love would never forgive him. He looked at his rival. "Sometime after you plunged your head into the toilet," he replied, somberly. He was doing this for Akane. He took a breath and asked, "Um, Ranma? I was wondering... well... if we could forget our past and start over as friends."

Ranma looked the wandering martial artist as if aliens had just taken his body. "Sure, but I've always considered you to be a friend of sorts."

"You have?" Ryoga questioned.

"Of course. You've been my best sparring partner. I never know when your going to attack and your skills are close to mine. I wouldn't be near as good as I am now if it weren't for you," Ranma told him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You mean, you liked it when I attacked you?" Ryoga asked, confused.

Akane was also a bit confused.

Ranma shrugged. "Not all of the time, but there were times I was happy to hear 'DIE RANMA' because I felt the need for a good fight. Anyway, when I really needed help, you came along."

"So, you actually thought of me as a friend and liked fighting me?" Ryoga said slowly.

"Yeah." Ranma frowned, looking at his fiancee's confused expression, not forgetting that his child was already in her. "But now, I guess, we should keep our fights to sparring and, possibly, have an all out fight every so often."

Ryoga nodded in agreement.

Akane cleared her throat. "Um, Ranma, the wedding is going to be a western one."

"So?" Ranma asked.

"You'll need a best man," Akane pointed out.

"A best man? Ryoga, you want to do that?" Ranma asked.

Akane smiled her approval.

Ryoga stared in surprise. Ranma wanted him to be the best man? Saotome did say he considered him to be a friend, and Akane liked the idea... He sighed. "Sure."

Mousse appeared and dropped the statue outside and sat down closest to the back door.

Akane asked, "Finished 100 laps already?"

"Yes... I... shall... bear any... pain for... my... Shampoo..." Mousse answered breathlessly. After a minute he regained his breath and asked, "So, what's on the training schedule for today."

"Just what I like in a student: complete devotion!" Ranma replied. "Uh, nothing scheduled today, but if you want something to do, I'm sure Kasumi could use some help."

"He's my student today. Remember?" Akane snapped. "Um, besides working on what I showed you this morning, I hadn't thought that far ahead either."

Kasumi entered, calling out, "Breakfast!"

Genma immediately woke up, sitting across from Ranma and Akane. Soun wearily woke up. He had Mousse move to the corner of the table and sat down next to Genma. Happosai appeared next to Akane. Nodoka entered and began to help Kasumi bring out breakfast. Once the food was in place, Nodoka and Kasumi sat across from Nabiki and Ryoga. Everyone began to eat.

"Now Ranma, that was quite some dance you put on for us last night," Happosai commented.

Ranma became nervous. Akane and Nodoka were beginning to get angry. Everyone else took an immediate interest.

"Oh, yes. I never knew a body could move like that," Mousse added, laughing.

Ranma yelled, "What are you talking about? I did no such thing!"

"Well I wouldn't have called it a dance, per say," Mousse began. "I'd call it drunkenly going into a combat stance. Followed by a mad dash to the toilet."

"You're such a spoil sport," Happosai pouted.

After Nabiki quickly finished her breakfast, she picked up her notebook and asked, "I was wondering: for the reception, what should we order for food? I was thinking of either roast pig or roast duck."

Ryoga and Mousse turned obvious shades of green at that comment. Nabiki grinned at look of their faces, while Ranma chuckled. Nodoka was a little confused. Akane fumed. The others just ignored the reaction.

Akane forcefully said, "Nabiki! Please keep in mind that some of the guests have a distinct dislike for those foods."

"So what do you suggest?" Nabiki asked, dryly.

"Um... I'm, uh, not sure," Akane failed to answer.

"Don't worry about details, Dear. Leave everything to Kasumi and me," Nodoka interjected, smiling.

"We'll make sure everything is perfect," Kasumi added.

"Are you sure you can handle it all?" Akane asked.

"Don't worry, we can handle it," Nodoka assured her.

"If you need any help, I'll be glad to lend a hand," Mousse volunteered.

"I can also help," Ryoga added.

"Don't you have school to go to?" Nodoka asked.

"I do not go to school," Mousse said.

Ryoga nodded. "Me neither."

"Why not?" Nodoka wondered.

"I graduated," Mousse answered truthfully as his home village's school didn't continue into high school.

"Me too!" Ryoga added quickly, not wanting to go into details as why he didn't go to school. The others chose to ignore his statement.

Nodoka blinked. "Oh. Then we'll appreciate your help with the wedding."

"Just make sure you don't send Ryoga somewhere alone. Or he'll end up lost," Ranma commented, earning him a glare from Akane and a snarl from Ryoga.

Kasumi held up a stack of cards. "Ranma, Akane, I made up wedding invitations for you to give out. I also contacted some friends and family that don't live near by and invited them."

"Who did you invite?" asked Akane.

Kasumi paused in thought. "Let's see: there is Akari, the tea ceremony couple, our grandparents, our cousins, and some others. The list is near the phone, the ones with check marks are the ones who're coming. Those with dashes aren't."

"You didn't invite my parents, did you?" Genma asked, terrified.

"No, I haven't gotten a hold of them, but I've left some messages for them," Kasumi replied.

"Good! Don't invite them. Bad things will happen if they're around." Genma prayed they would not find the messages.

Nodoka shivered, apparently at the thought of seeing her in-laws.

"If you say so," Kasumi shrugged.

"We'd better get going," Akane said.

"Why? It's still early," Ranma noted.

"We need to get some of these invitations out before school," Akane pointed out.

Ranma shrugged. "Oh. Bye!"

"Bye," replied everyone.

* * *

Author's Note:

I'd still like to give thanks to my original pre-readers of this chapter: David Tatum, Byran Neef, Rea Konecki, and the Rams.

If you think Akane is a little sedated in this chapter and not her normal angry self. You are slightly mistaken. She is angry, but at herself and there by cannot release her anger on her normal targets (Ranma or representations there of.) Part of her being angry at herself is that she took the blame personally that she didn't know Ryoga was P-Chan, and that is why bacon wasn't being served the next morning. She's also being distracted by her approaching wedding and her pregnancy to really consider what him being P-Chan means (seeing her naked, held in against her chest, etc...) If I was Ryoga, I'd be careful not to do anything that could remind her of that.

Some of you may think Kodachi gave up too quickly. She knew she was losing Ranma for a while. In the story where Ranma had a date with Kodachi to go against Kodachi's rival Asuka the White Lily in a contest for who had the best boyfriend, Kodachi admitted she knew Ranma didn't love her. (BTW: Akane insisted that Ranma went on the date after Asuka insulted Ranma's looks.)


	6. Countdown to the Wedding

**Ranma 1/2: The Insanity Continues**

**Volume 1 - Trapped**

**Chapter 4 - Countdown to the Wedding**

_By: Lord Archive_

Characters are own Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

This series was originally written in 1997, long before ffnet existed. This is one of my first fanfictions. Some edits have been made to improve readability, but it remains as an example of early Ranma 1/2 fanfiction. When this was being written, elements of this story weren't cliched, it was _creating_ the cliches. While this remains as one of my more popular Ranma 1/2 series, it is not without it's faults as I was new to writing stories and a complete translation of Ranma 1/2 manga had yet to appear in America when this was originally written more than fifteen years ago.

* * *

"I can't believe it. We're actually going to do it today," Ranma muttered.

"There should be nothing to stop it this time," Akane replied.

Ranma shook his head. "The last time they tried it, it was a disaster."

Akane nodded. "Yeah, but this time we've handled the problems."

"Are you ready for it? Are we ready for it?" Ranma asked.

"Yes and no." Akane sighed. "While I do want this, we still have problems that should've been handled first."

"Why don't we solve them first?" Ranma questioned.

Akane glared at him, not missing he was still trying to back out of this. "Because the problems I'm referring to might take years to solve and thanks to what we did, we can't wait any longer."

"I know, but still. I'm not sure we should go through with it," Ranma grumbled.

"Ranma, we have to. You are just going to have to get over your cold feet," Akane chastised.

"Who says we have to do this though?" Ranma demanded.

Akane glared at him angrily. "Do I really have to spell that out for you?"

Ranma sagged dejectedly. "I guess there isn't a choice, but still. I wish we could wait."

"I wish so too, but it's NOT going to happen." Akane stomped into Dr. Tofu's clinic, while he followed her inside. "Hello Ranma, Akane. It's been a while," Dr. Tofu greeted. "I hear congratulations are in order."

"Hi. Um, yes. We'd like to invite you to our wedding this afternoon," Akane answered.

"I'd be happy to go. It gives me a perfect chance to test to see if I've been able to gain some self-control when I'm around a certain girl. I've been working on that problem for a while now." Dr. Tofu looked off into space.

"Good luck, Doc. Hope it works," Ranma encouraged.

"Um... Dr. Tofu?" Akane began, blushing.

"What is it Akane?" the young looking doctor wondered.

Akane looked like she was about to burst a blood out of her face. "I was wondering, how far into a pregnancy could a couple still have sex?"

Dr. Tofu stared at the fidgeting couple in surprise. "Ah, well yes. From the cultural standpoint, as soon as it is known that you're pregnant."

Ranma and Akane frowned.

"Medically, it depends on the pregnancy. It varies depending on complications," Dr. Tofu answered.

"Um, could you make a guess on me?" Akane asked.

"It's hard to tell without tests. The earliest would be a couple months into a pregnancy," Dr. Tofu explained. "I don't think you have anything to worry about. But, I'd like you to stop by after school, Friday, so I can run some tests. I'd like both of you here, on Saturday, to talk about what to expect."

"Okay, Dr. Tofu. We'll see you then. We have to go now. Bye," Akane replied, leaving with Ranma.

The young couple noticed there was a minute left on the clock before school would start. They both broke out into a mad dash; however, Ranma stopped in his tracks when he saw Kuno with a bucket of water. In less than a second, Kuno launched his attack. With the arc of water hitting Saotome, he turned into a girl in front of the her attacker.

Kuno gripped his bokken tightly. "So the cunning Tendo Nabiki speaks true that the pig-tailed goddess of my dreams was nothing more than an illusion you fostered on me from a heinous curse. For using the curse to deceive me, I SHALL..."

Kuno was interrupted by a boot to the head, and went flying over Nerima.

"Argh! My hangover's back," Ranma groaned, holding her head.

"Guess it's your girl form that can't take alcohol," Akane giggled just as the school bell rung. "OH NO! We're late!"

Akane grabbed Ranma's hand, rushing to class.

Akane and female Ranma arrived at class, nearly running over their childlike teacher when they entered into the room.

Ms. Hinako stamped her feet angrily. "Akane, Ranma! Why are you late this time?!"

"Not so loud!" Ranma howled.

"We're sorry. We were delayed by Kuno and by delivering these." Akane handed her teacher a personalized invitation.

Ms. Hinako immediately turned the envelope in confetti to get at the card inside. She shrieked at what she read. "You're getting married today?!"

"Yes," Akane replied happily.

Ranma collapsed to the floor in agony. The class surged forward, asking questions.

"Quiet down, everyone, AND SIT DOWN!" Ms. Hinako yelled.

The class quickly obeyed when she produced a five yen coin. The only exception was Ranma, who was writhing in pain on the floor.

"What's wrong with you?" Ms. Hinako poked the red-head.

"Our dads decided to throw him a bachelor party last night, and his girl form has no tolerance for alcohol," Akane answered for Ranma.

"Can I get some hot water?" Ranma asked weakly.

"No." Ms. Hinako grinned with devilish delight. "You will go to your seat and sit there."

"This is cruel," Ranma muttered.

"I know." Ms. Hinako gleefully giggled.

The class soon deteriorated as everyone, including the childlike teacher, asked Akane about the wedding.

Ranma was left alone. No one needed to explain to them that a bad-ass martial artist with a hangover was best to be left alone.

* * *

Lunch hour seemed to take forever to arrive. And with its arrival, all of the remaining wedding invitations were hastily delivered. After finishing that task, Ranma and Akane met under one of the trees in Furinkan's schoolyard and began to eat lunch. They were quickly surrounded by most of the students from Furinkan High. All sorts of questions were asked, but the young couple completely ignored them.

"I wished Ms. Hinako would've let me changed back. Having a hangover sucks!" Ranma grumbled.

"So do I. That way you could have answered some of those questions," Akane replied.

Ranma blinked. "Maybe I was better with the hangover."

The couple's attention was drawn to a large movement in the crowd. The crowd separated to reveal Kuno as he approached them. He spoke over the crowd, "I will have words with you! And I, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, will show my intentions with this sign of peace!" He tossed his bokken aside and sat down.

"If ya want to talk, Kuno-'sempai,' talk," replied Ranma, and the crowd quieted down.

"Tendo Akane, I wish to know how a goddess such as yourself, can be in love with this foul demon?" Kuno demanded.

Ranma scowled at Kuno.

"Ranma may not be a saint, but he's definitely not a demon either. And as to why I love him? I... I... I don't know." Akane shrugged her shoulders. "I guess no one can truly answer why they love someone. It's something that just happens."

"Saotome Ranma, do you truly love the fair Tendo Akane and can you say as to why?"

"Yeah, I love Akane." Ranma blushed deeply. "And I don't know why either, but it's great when I see her smile."

Akane smiled at him. Most of the girls swooned at the romantic comment, well romantic for Ranma.

"One other question, Ranma, why is it you used the magic of your curse to deceive I, Kuno Tatewaki?" the young man demanded.

The crowd mumbled as they tried to figure out how Kuno finally made the connection.

"You should've been the first to know that. I've only changed a dozen times in front of you. You were just too dense to realize it. I even practically told you," Ranma answered sharply.

Akane shook her head at his words. She knew the same could be said of her when concerned with Ryoga.

"Tendo Akane, if you ever want to be free of Saotome, let me know. I shall come to your aid immediately and protect you for I shall always love you," Kuno vowed.

Akane rolled her eyes. "Kuno, you have to forget about me. I'm going to be happily married soon. I would also like you to go and search for someone who loves you, you might be surprised at who you find."

Kuno bowed to her. "I shall endeavor myself to try to do as you wish. For now, I ask that you invite me to your wedding."

"Of course, you can come," answered Akane.

"You can go, as long as ya don't try anything," added Ranma.

"Remember, Akane, while I may find someone else as you have wished, there shall always be a fiery torch that will always burn with my love for you."

Ranma struck a provocative feminine pose and asked in an almost soprano voice, "What about me Kuno-sempai?"

Kuno turned green, grabbed his bokken and ran off.

Ranma laughed as Akane backhanded his shoulder while failing to contain her own laughter. After a moment she finally could say, "You shouldn't pick on people like that. It isn't nice."

Ranma grinned at her. "But it sure was funny though."

From the crowd, a familiar voice echoed, "I will be taking orders for a picture of Kuno's reaction. One thousand yen each."

"Nabiki, mark me down for one," yelled Ranma.

"Ranma," Akane growled angry.

"Okay. Make that two," shouted Ranma as Akane punched him in the shoulder a bit lightly, almost playful.

Akane could barely manage a scowl. "You know that wasn't what I meant."

"Come on, Akane. That picture is a gem, besides how many photos did he buy of us?" Ranma said with a smirk.

Akane sighed. "Well, his face was priceless. It couldn't hurt to have one."

Ranma noticed the crowd's attention was now focused on Nabiki. "Let's get going, while the getting is good." He picked up Akane before she could respond and leapt towards the school building as lunch came to a close.

* * *

The bell rang, ending the last class. Wanting to get home as quickly as possible, Ranma jumped out the second story window with Akane held firmly in his arms. He proceeded to carry her home, running on the rooftops.

"Air Ranma, the fastest way to travel in Nerima," Akane giggled.

"Yeah, less traffic this way," replied Ranma.

After a moment, Ranma landed at the front door of the Tendo home and set Akane down on to the ground.

Akane straightened her dress. "It's not so bad to travel that way."

"Not so bad for you, but murder on me." Ranma tried to catch his breath.

"Fine, next time I carry you," Akane said playfully, missing the possible comment about her weight.

Ranma pouted. "I'd rather not."

"Why not?" Akane asked quizzically.

"How does it look for some girl to carry a guy around town while running like that?" Ranma pointed out.

"Who said you were going to be a guy at the time?" Akane's started to get angry.

Before Ranma could reply Kasumi appeared and said, "Oh good. You're home already. We need to get you into your wedding dress. Ranma, your suit is in your old room." She grabbed her little sister's arm and rushed upstairs.

"Guess I'd better get ready," Ranma commented to himself, a bit thankful of not having to finish the conversation with Akane.

* * *

Kasumi dragged Akane to her room so she could be fitted into her wedding dress. The youngest Tendo was surprised to see Nabiki already there.

"You're finally here," Nabiki said.

"How did you get here before me?" Akane asked as she started to get out of her school uniform.

"I skipped my afternoon classes after I found out a couple details were being overlooked."

Akane raised an eyebrow. "What details?"

"Things like dresses for the bridesmaid," Nabiki pointed out.

"Bridesmaids?" Akane looked shocked. "I forgot I needed bridesmaids!"

Nabiki waved her off. "Don't worry, I'm sure a couple will show up."

"What about you two?" Akane asked.

Nabiki shook her head. "Can't. I've got to take photos and make sure the guests behave themselves."

"I'll be busy to busy with the reception. Why don't you ask your friends?" Kasumi replied.

Akane sighed. "I hope I get the chance to ask someone."

Kasumi and Nabiki helped their little sister put the wedding gown on. The dress was a bit more elaborate than the one she had worn before.

"How come this isn't the same dress I wore at the last attempt?" Akane questioned.

"The last one was a rental. This one, however, is yours. I'm pretty sure you will be married this time," Nabiki replied.

"Well, if this fails, I guess we'll have to elope." Akane shrugged.

"That's the spirit," Nabiki said. "But technically you are already married to him. The paper work was filed for the wedding, it was just the ceremony that was bombed."

Akane blinked. "And when was someone going to tell me THAT?!"

* * *

Ranma went upstairs to his old room and found the door locked. He wondered why it wouldn't open before he noticed a sign on the door, 'Guys dressing room.' He shrugged and then knocked at the door. A second later the door unlocked and opened a little.

Ryoga peeked through the door, saw Ranma, grabbed him, pulled him into the room, and shut and locked the door. Hibiki was mostly into his tux while Mousse, fully deck out and was adjusting something under his cloths. A white suit hung neatly in the nearly empty closet. Ranma spent a minute staring at it.

"It's not going put itself on you," Ryoga said as he tried to put on his bow tie.

"It did last time," Ranma replied, a bit dazed as the realization hit him of what he was about to do.

"That was because it was forced. This time you're doing this because you want to," Mousse intoned.

"Uh, yeah. Is everything set up?" Ranma asked.

"Pretty much, your mom is still working on food for the reception. All we need now is to get you and Akane ready," Ryoga answered.

Ranma nodded dumbly. "That's good."

The nervous groom quickly got dressed in his suit, straightening it out.

Ryoga was still trying to get his bow tie on correctly.

Ranma saw the lost boy's frustrated look, "Here, let me help you."

"I can do it," Ryoga snarled.

"Not the way you're doing it. Just let me help," Ranma countered.

Ryoga growled, but resigned to let his... friend help him tie it properly.

"There, perfect," said Ranma with a grin.

Ryoga looked in the mirror. "I guess, but do these things need to be so tight?"

Ranma was sure it was probably tighter than it needed to be yet replied, "With these cloths, looks are more important than comfort."

"You can say that again," Mousse commented, still trying to adjust something inside his tuxedo. "These things give little room to hide weapons." "You hid weapons in your tux?" Ranma asked, giving Mousse a confused look.

Mousse nodded. "Of course, there is still a good chance hostility will commence and it would not do for me to be without some of my weapons."

"I guess," Ranma said, shaking his head.

"If you're too uncomfortable, you might want to remove some of your weapons," Ryoga suggested.

"I'll be fine. I'm considering it endurance training," replied Mousse.

"Excellent! With an attitude like that, you'll make a great martial artist," Ranma grinned.

"But I am a great martial artist," retorted Mousse.

"No, you're a decent martial artist. You're far from being a great martial artist," countered Ranma with a grin.

"I'll show you," Mousse growled angrily.

"Later! Right now we have to get him married," interrupted Ryoga. Who would have thought he would help keep Ranma from messing up getting married to Akane.

"Right. I'm hungry, let's go grab a snack," said Ranma.

"Sure!" Ryoga and Mousse replied.

The trio left the dressing room, heading for the kitchen.

"Hi, Mom," Ranma greeted.

"My, do you look handsome," Nodoka told him with a smile.

Ranma scratched the back of his head. "Thanks, I was wondering if we can grab a snack."

Nodoka nodded. "Certainly. And once you finished, you can greet the guests."

"Do I have to?" Ranma moaned.

"Someone has to. Besides, what else are you going to do for the next hour?" Nodoka asked.

"Fine. We greet the guests," Ranma replied.

After Ranma, Ryoga, and Mousse made short work of their snacks, they went to the front gate and prepared to meet the guests. As they got there, they saw Ukyou and Konatsu enter the gate. Ukyou wore a tuxedo while Konatsu wore a very nice, pink and white kimono.

"Ucchan! It's good to see you. Thanks for coming," Ranma greeted happily, though tainted with a touch of sadness since the girl looked ready to cry.

"It's good to see you, too. I wouldn't miss your wedding for anything, even though I wanted to be the bride," Ukyou replied. This comment raised the eyebrows of an elderly couple coming up from behind them. "Um, do you think Akane needs any help?"

"I'm sure she'll appreciate any help you can offer. She's in her room getting ready," Ranma replied. After Ukyou left, Ranma turned to Konatsu. "How's she taking it?"

"Fine, I think." Konatsu paused. "Until Nabiki stopped by, I thought she was going to shut down completely and emotionally die. After that she seemed better, but still a bit sedated."

"I hope she's all right. You can wait in the dojo for the wedding," Ranma informed as he prepared to meet the unfamiliar couple behind Konatsu. "Hello, I'm Saotome Ranma, can I help you?"

"So you're going to marry our granddaughter," commented the elderly man gruffly.

"Don't mind him," interjected the elderly woman. "He can be rude a lot of the time. We're Akane's grandparents and we are here to see the wedding."

"Pleased to meet you," said politely Ranma with a bow, not liking he had to do this.

"Pleased to meet you," returned the woman with a bow. The man did not respond. She gave him the evil eye. "I would like to see Akane and help her if I can."

"Certainly." As the woman left, Ranma turned to look at Akane's grandfather who was examining him closely.

"What was with that couple before us, and why did you refer to the guy in tux as 'she?'" asked the elderly man.

"It's a long story, but the person in the tux is a girl. She was raised as a guy," Ranma replied.

The elderly man folded his arms. "Why did she want to marry you?"

"Because she loves me, the problem is I'm in love with Akane," Ranma told him.

"And Akane loves you?" the elderly man asked harshly.

Ranma nodded. "If she didn't, we wouldn't be here now."

"How can we be sure of that?" the elderly man demanded.

"Well, she not screaming in protest and isn't destroying anything," Ranma answered.

The elderly man raised an eyebrow. "She tends to be violent at times?"

Ranma nodded.

The man laughed, "Just like her grandmother." He made a quick move and grabbed Ranma's jaw, surprising the youth. The man examined Ranma's teeth.

"What ya do that for?" Ranma yelled as he broke loose of the man's hold.

The elderly man grinned at him. "Nice teeth, could keep better care of them though."

"What are ya, a dentist?" Ranma spat.

"Horse breeder," the elderly man answered with a laugh before leaving for the dojo.

Mousse was also laughing, while Ryoga and Ranma apparently missed the joke.

"What's so funny?" Ranma demanded.

"He made a play on your name. For when a person buys a horse, the buyer checks the teeth to help judge its value," Mousse informed.

"Oh funny." Ranma wasn't amused.

Ryoga chuckled. "It is funny, wished I knew the joke earlier."

Ranma thought this had to get better as he spent the next several minutes greeting nondescript friends, a relative he didn't know he had from his mother's side, and a couple more soon-to-be relatives.

* * *

Akane had been trying to stand still while her sisters made some alterations to the wedding dress. Akane was a bit relieved when someone knocked at the door.

"Who is it?" asked Akane.

"Ukyou," replied the voice from behind the door. Akane and Nabiki tensed. "Enter." Akane hoped her friend was all right, and was not out to cause trouble.

"Hi," Ukyou said meekly as she entered the room.

"Hi. How have you been feeling?" Akane asked with nervous concern.

"Lets just say I've been considering asking Ryoga how to use Shi Shi Hokodan," Ukyou answered with some bitterness.

"Oh," Akane uttered.

"How have you been feeling?" Ukyou wondered.

Akane grinned sheepishly. "Scared, happy, scared, upset, and scared."

Ukyou folded her arms. "Not to sure about the future are you?"

"Sort of. It's just that so much is changing. I'm afraid I'm going to lose everything I liked about my childhood. I'm really scared I'll lose your friendship," Akane replied, nervously.

Ukyou nodded. "I don't want to lose you as a friend either, but it'll be hard seeing you, knowing it was you who stole my Ranchan's heart."

Akane sighed. "I wish that everyone could come out of this happy. But I was never able to figure out how."

"It would've been better if you let me have Ranchan and you took Ryoga," Ukyou suggested.

Akane shook her head. "I know you tried to get me and Ryoga together, but he could never be more than a friend. Especially now that I know he's also P-Chan."

"Damn," muttered Nabiki.

Ukyou looked shocked.

Akane scowled at Nabiki, promising herself to talk to her sister later.

"No chance of you changing your mind and calling off the wedding?" Ukyou asked.

"None," replied Akane, testily.

"It was worth a shot. Um, Is there anything I could do to help?" Ukyou wondered.

Akane gazed at her in thought. It might help her friend to get over Ranma if she was an important part of the wedding. "Well I was wondering if you could be my maid of honor?"

Ukyou's mouth dropped. "Me? Why?"

Akane grabbed the girl's hands. "Because you're one of my closest friends, and it would mean a lot to me."

"You want me to be your maid of honor? Despite the fact I've tried to take Ranchan from you and I helped destroy the last wedding attempt," Ukyou asked incredulously.

Akane nodded. "Yes, if Ranma can have Ryoga as his best man despite their past, why can't you be my maid of honor?"

"I... It would be an honor," Ukyou answered, not sure of the wisdom of her choice.

"Thank you," Akane smiled.

Another knock was heard at the semi-closed door. "Who is it?"

"Hello, Akane. It's been a long time," said the voice from the now open door.

"Grandma!" cried the three sisters.

"It has been a long time," said Akane.

Akane's grandmother hugged the bride-to-be. "How are you?"

"Scared mostly," Akane admitted.

"We all get scared before our own wedding. Getting married is about changing your relationship with someone you love. And it's human nature to fear change, even if, at the same time, we want it," the elderly woman told her.

Nabiki picked up a dress that was on Akane's bed and went over to Ukyou. She handed the dress over and whispered something. Ukyou left with the dress.

"Knowing that still doesn't help reduce my fears," Akane said.

The elderly woman nodded. "I know, but it helps confront them. I am concerned if it's wise to have the groom greeting guests at the gate, he might get cold feet decide to run off."

"Not likely. Ranma isn't one to run away from his obligations nor from fear," Akane firmly defended.

"Unless it's a cat," added Nabiki, earning an angry glare from her little sister.

The elderly woman blinked. "From a cat?"

Akane sighed. "It's a long story."

"Oh," the elderly woman replied. "Um, was the person that was just here a girl or a guy?"

Akane frowned. "Ukyou is a girl, she's just raised as guy."

"Does her date know that?" the elderly woman asked.

Akane laughed, "That would be Konatsu. He's a guy that was raised as a girl."

The elderly woman blinked again and commented, "You certainly know some interesting people."

Nabiki smirked. "You haven't really heard or seen anything yet."

They went into small talk and worked on getting Akane ready.

* * *

The moment Ranma had been dreading most arrived in the form of an Amazon with purple hair and her great-grandmother.

"Hi, Shampoo," said Ranma, failing to sound enthusiastic.

"Hello. Here to see Ranma's wedding. Will cause no problems. Hope Ranma happy with violent girl," Shampoo muttered out.

Ranma stared at her. "Ah, thanks. And thank you for coming. I'm sure I'll be happy with Akane."

"Shampoo my love, I shall soon prove my worth to be your husband," elated Mousse to a nearby bush.

Shampoo responded with her bonbori to Mousse's skull.

"Come granddaughter, we don't want miss getting good seats," Cologne commanded.

"Can we trust them?" asked Ryoga.

Mousse shook his head as he tried to regain his senses and replied, "They cannot interfere now. While losing Ranma as a husband will cause loss of honor, stopping the wedding or hurting Akane can be severely punished because of her situation."

"What situation would that be?" asked Hiroshi as he and Daisuke entered the gate.

"I think Ranma hasn't been telling us everything that's been going on," commented Daisuke.

"Uh... he just means that we have admitted our love to each other, that's all," Ranma replied nervously.

Ryoga was confused. Mousse looked away.

"Right," Hiroshi and Daisuke drawled out, sounding completely unconvinced.

"Well it's nice to see ya here. The wedding is in the dojo, you better hurry for a good seat," Ranma suggested.

Ranma was worried that could be a problem as yet another unfamiliar couple entered the gate. A cold chill raced down his spine. The old guy looks too much like his father. He swallowed nervously. "Hi. I'm Saotome Ranma, can I help you?"

"So this is our grandson," stated the older man who stood almost as tall as Genma. He had a similar build, but was not nearly well fed and a lot more wrinkles.

"Hello, you might not remember us, but we're your grandparents," said the small woman.

A large bead of sweet formed on Ranma's head.

"Mom!" was heard from the other side of the wall. Genma and Soun appeared at the gate and carried a large box. "Tendo take the box in, and get Nodoka."

Soun nodded and ran into the house with the box.

"Still married to her?" asked Ranma's grandmother.

"O-of course I'm still married to her," replied Genma.

"I thought I trained you better than that. You shouldn't have married so young if you didn't mean to swindle the girl out of her family fortune," the elderly Saotome woman chastised.

"Excuse me?!" screeched Ranma. "What are you talking about?"

"You didn't even train your son in the ways of the quiet thief." Ranma's grandmother shook her head. She looked at him seriously. "My family is suppose to be trained in the art swindling others out of money. To rob potential suitors of all their worth before settling down."

"He certainly practiced it," chided Mousse.

"He has?" asked grandma Saotome with a bit of hope.

"Until recently he had three fiancees," Mousse replied.

"Shut up. I did not swindle them!" Ranma yelled.

"Could have fooled me," stated Ryoga.

"I hardly see free food as swindling them," snarled Ranma.

"The way you eat, I'd say it was," retorted Mousse.

"How about the practice of the noisy thief?" asked Genma's father.

"Noisy thief?" Ranma growled.

"You know the art of distracting the target and steal from them when they aren't paying attention," the elderly Saotome explained.

Ranma shook his head 'no,' while wondering what type of family he had when his grandparents were thieves.

Nodoka interrupted, "Ah... hello. It's, ah, good to see you again. Genma, why don't we show your parents to the dojo?" She guided them to the dojo while praying they didn't rob the Tendo home blind.

Ranma closed his eyes and tried to regain some composure.

"H-hello Akari," Ryoga stuttered.

"Hi. It's good to see ya," Ranma said.

"Hello Ryoga, Ranma. I'm as excited as a pig at feeding time. I've never been to a friend's wedding before," Akari chirped.

"Well, now's your chance," Ranma said, grinning.

"Is there anything I could do to help?" asked Akari.

Ranma thumbed towards the door. "You can go upstairs and ask Akane and the others if they need help."

"Thanks," Akari said as she ran into the Tendo home, hoping to be a bridesmaid.

After seeing Akari vanish into the Tendo home, Ranma froze at the sound of insane laughter.

"Hello Ranma-sama, I hear you decided to marry that violent wench, Akane," Kodachi announced as she appeared at the gate with Sanzenin Mikado.

"I don't remember inviting either of you," Ranma growled.

Kodachi didn't seemed bother by his tone. "A minor oversight, I'm sure. Do not worry, I will not interfere with this wedding."

"And I'm just here as her date," added Mikado.

"You didn't bring Azusa, did you?" Ryoga asked.

"No, I left her at a toy store where the girl working there had the gall to slap me," Mikado replied.

"Poor girl," said Ryoga and Ranma, thinking of the store clerk.

"All right, you can be at the wedding. But do anything wrong and you'll be sent to the hospital. Understand?" Ranma threatened.

"Of course, Ranma-sama," Kodachi said.

"I am not one to cause problems," Mikado said.

"The wedding is in the dojo," Ranma said.

As Kodachi and Mikado left for the dojo, Ranma rolled his eyes at the sight of the next guest. "The sorrow of losing one's love is great. To loss her to evil is far worse," Kuno elaborated.

"Be quiet Kuno-sempai, or you'll miss the wedding," snarled Ranma.

"I shall not miss the wedding of Tendo Akane for any reason," Kuno retorted.

"Then go to dojo and wait," Ranma demanded.

Kuno glared at him for a moment before nodding in agreement. "For the sake of Tendo Akane, I shall do as you say."

"Jerk," mumbled Ranma.

"Aloha, Ranma," greeted the patriarch of the Kuno clan.

Ranma back away a little. "Hello, Principal Kuno. It's, ah, good that you could make it."

Principal Kuno grinned evilly. "I hope marryin' Akane will cure you of your delinquent ways." "Fat chance of that," Ryoga remarked.

Ranma bit back a growl. "The wedding is in the dojo, please go there and wait." Once Principal Kuno was out of ear shot, he almost yelled, "I can't take much more of this."

"You don't have to. It's time to take your places. The wedding is about to begin," Nabiki announced from the doorway of the Tendo home. She held a stack of cards in her hand.

* * *

Author's Note:

Thanks to David A Tatum, Byran Neef, the Rams, and Rea Konecki for helping with the original version of this chapter.

It has been noted that Ranma has a little practice in being a noisy thief. If you're a thief and someone asked if you were, would you admit it? Well, neither would Ranma. Especially when he's only done it to get food while training with his father or applied concepts of it into martial arts (Saotome Final Special Attack - Fake an attack, then Run Away!).


	7. Meet Mr and Mrs Saotome

**Ranma 1/2: The Insanity Continues**

**Volume 1 - Trapped**

**Chapter 5 - Meet Mr. and Mrs. Saotome.**

_By: Lord Archive_

Characters are own Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

This series was originally written in 1997, long before ffnet existed. This is one of my first fanfictions. Some edits have been made to improve readability, but it remains as an example of early Ranma 1/2 fanfiction. When this was being written, elements of this story weren't cliched, it was _creating_ the cliches. While this remains as one of my more popular Ranma 1/2 series, it is not without it's faults as I was new to writing stories and a complete translation of Ranma 1/2 manga had yet to appear in America when this was originally written more than fifteen years ago.

* * *

Ranma and Nabiki made their way into the dojo. It was packed. There were so many people there, that some of the guests could not get seats. Ranma wondered how some of them even got there. He didn't remember greeting Pantyhose Tarou nor the Gambler King at the gate. He didn't even remember inviting them. He nervously made his way up to the minister. He saw that Nabiki was greeting some of the guests, the ones most likely to cause trouble and handed each of them a card.

Each of the recipients looked rather upset as they read the cards, as each card offered a personalized threat of what would happen if they stopped the wedding. After the final card was delivered, Nabiki signaled Genma to start playing the wedding march on the rented sound system.

Ranma thought that this was it. He took a deep breath. He needed to be calm as he didn't want to screw this up. He tried to gain the 'soul of ice' he gained from his Hiryu Shuten Ha training.

The guests turned toward the dojo door as it slid open. Standing at the entrance way were Mousse and Akari, who started to walk towards him. Ryoga and Ukyou followed them. Finally, Soun and Akane walked down the isle.

Ranma's eyes lost focus on everything but Akane. His only coherent thought during the time it took Akane to walk across the dojo was how cute she looked. He barely registered the minister's words at the start of the ceremony.

The minister began, "Who is it that gives away the bride?"

Soun bowed slightly. His voice was unusually calm, "I do."

The minister continued, "We are gathered here today, to witness this man and this woman join in the bonds of holy matrimony. Brought together by kami, love, and... an arrangement by meddling fathers?"

Ranma registered this phrase and looked at the minister with bewilderment. Akane giggled and whispered to Ranma, "Nabiki added some special touches."

Ranma sighed and attempted to regain control and have a 'soul of ice.'

Akane was thankful that Nabiki added those special touches. Akane felt that was just what she needed something to help keep her from becoming too nervous and make some kind of mistake.

The minister shook his head and said, "Let no man..."

A man interrupted, "I am Draco, a prince of an ancient kingdom, and I have come to wed this woman of great power." He finished his statement by pointing at Akane, and the guests gasped in shock. Ranma responded with chi blast that sent Draco out the door and knocked him out cold.

Minister continued nervously, "...woman..."

A woman's voice interrupted, "I can not allow this wedding to take place, for I am promised to Ranma by an arrangement made by my father and Saotome Genma."

To which Genma began to sweat nervously while Ranma, Akane, and many of the guests scowled at him. Nodoka touched the hilt of her katana.

Ukyou growled angrily. "Sit down, shut up, and join the Ranma ex-fiancee club. You're member number four or five."

Woman asked, "And you are?"

Ukyou replied, "Ukyou, member number 2, I think."

Woman asked, "The engagement is off?"

Ranma intoned, "Yes."

Woman sighed and said, "Oh good. I didn't want to get married anyway." She turned and walked off.

The minister, becoming very nervous, squeaked, "...beast..."

A dragon stuck his head and some of his neck through the door frame and said, "Ah, there is a lot of fresh meat here." Most of the guests shook in fright.

Before the dragon could strike, a group of old bald guys shouted, "Get it! It's a dragon with hair!"

The dragon looked at the old men and screeched, "Oh no! Not them." The dragon flew off, chased by the bald men. Some of the late arrivals sat down at the seats the old men previously sat at.

The minister began to shake and gasped out, "...demon..."

A monstrous black demon climbed out of a hole that opened in the middle of the dojo and yelled, "Your souls shall be mine!"

Kuno attacked it with a glowing sword that formed in his hand at the appearance of the demon, and announced, "By honor and by rights, I, Kuno Tatewaki, must uphold the family duty to cleanse this world of all demons." That said, Kuno word split the demon into two pieces. The demon and sword disappeared. Everyone stared at him in shock.

The minister was very pale and muttered, "...nor any other living..."

A small girl bounded into the dojo and shouted, "Marie, give Marie back to Azusa!" She pulled on Ranma's suit and then noticed Ryoga and screeched, "Charlotte!"

Ryoga grabbed the girl and booted her out of the dojo.

Minister was white as a ghost and stammered, "...or unliving being..."

A gray humanoid phantom creature appeared next to Ranma, and Gosunkugi whispered, "Kill him."

Akane saw it and punched at the phantom but screamed in pain as she connected.

Gosunkugi, horrified at her scream, dispelled his first true attempt at magic.

Most of the guests were in state of shock and bewilderment. Ranma held Akane's hand, but she took it away and said, "I'm fine." She rubbed her hand and turned to the minister and said, "You may continue."

"...put asunder the bonds that tie these two together," the minister continued nervously while wondering what the hell was going on. That some of the guests were completely unfazed did not escape him. None of this should be possible. The lines, it must be the lines. This would be the last time he would ever allow personalized ceremonial vows. He proceeded to forget what just happened. "Saotome Ranma, do you take Tendo Akane to be your lawfully wedded wife. Through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, to save her from KIDNAPPINGS?... ahh, until death do you part?"

"I do," Ranma replied with a grin.

Ranma's grin quickly turned into a look of shock and then anger when he heard Ryoga say the words as well from behind him. He turned and scowled at his 'best man,' while Akane and Akari gave Ryoga the evil eye. The guests that had not lost their mind yet looked either disgusted, angry, or confused.

Ryoga shrank back, meekly saying, "I'm sorry! I'm very sorry!"

The poor minister wanted to get this over with quickly so he could get to the sake. So, he resumed the ceremony before everyone could settle back down.

The minister turned to Akane and said, "Tendo Akane, do you take Saotome Ranma to be your lawfully wedded husband. Through sickness and in heath, for richer and for poorer, as a man and... a... WOMAN?... eh... until death do you part?"

Akane giggled, "I do."

Ranma scowled at Nabiki. The guests were completely confused, numb and/or shocked at proceedings. If anyone had looked at Ukyou, they would notice that she mouthed out, "I do."

The minister hoped they had a LOT of sake for the reception. He then told them, "It is time to present the rings."

Ryoga got the ring from Mousse and then handed it to Ranma, and Ukyou took the ring from Akari and handed it to Akane. Ranma and Akane held out the rings.

Minister spoke, "May the powers that be bless these symbols of the love these two share, forever showing the bond between them." The minister turned toward Ranma and said, "Place the ring on her finger and repeat after me. With this ring I thee wed."

Ranma, finally gaining the 'soul of ice,' responded, "With this ring, I thee wed."

The minister continued, "To love, to cherish, and to encourage without insult, from this day forth."

"To love, to cherish, and to encourage without insult, from this day forth." Ranma rather meekly said with the 'without insult' part as he gently pushed the ring up Akane's finger.

Minister thought that change was at least somewhat normal. He then turned toward Akane and said, "Place the ring on his finger and repeat after me. With this ring I thee wed."

Akane's voice cracked as she said, "With this ring I thee wed."

"To love, to honor, and to listen to him before bludgeoning, from this day forth," continued the minister.

"To love, to honor, and to listen to him before bludgeoning, from this day forth," Akane said with a similar note of meekness with her part of the changed vow. The minister believed ignoring it would make him happier. He then said, "If there is any one here who has reason for these two people not to be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."

The minister looked up from the reading the customized wedding vows. He emitted a surprised squeak as he noticed Ranma glowing with a battle aura with a look that said, "You speak, you die."

Akane didn't notice as she cast a similar gaze to the guests that said, "Don't you dare." The guests were either confused, scared, or unmoved.

The minister announced nervously, "Ahh, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Ranma leaned forward and kissed Akane for what seemed an eternity.

Minister finished, "It is my, ahh, pleasure to present Mr. and Mrs. Saotome. All right, where is the sake? I need a drink." Those guests that retained some of their mind cheered.

Ranma and Akane finally ended their kiss. They let out a mental cheer of success at the same time as they stared into each other's face.

Nabiki cheered, "All right, Sis! Now hold that pose. We need to get a lot of wedding photos."

With the ceremony over, the guests began to recover from the unusual proceedings. Ranma and Akane posed for several photos with and without the other members of the bridal party and/or guests as various family and friends burned through rolls of film.

Nabiki asked, "All right let's get a couple photos of you two kissing."

They started to kiss again. Nabiki took only a couple photos before she pulled out a water gun from hiding and shot Ranma in the back of the head. Several guests were shocked to see Ranma shrink and turn into a girl. Many of them just lost their mind completely. The groom-turned-pseudo-bride apparently did not notice until she heard a commotion from the guests.

Akane's grandmother screeched, "What is going on here?"

Various students of Furinkan High cheered.

Kodachi stammered, "Where did Ranma go?"

Kuno replied, "The pig-tailed girl is the vile deceiver, Saotome Ranma."

Kodachi asked in shock, "What? How can this be?"

Mikado was also in shock asked, "You don't mean that she is really a guy?"

Kuno replied to Mikado, "That is precisely what I mean."

"Eh... Excuse me." A green hue covered Mikado's face, as he got up and ran out the dojo.

Minister shouted, "Dear God! Where is that sake!?"

Akane's grandfather nodded in agreement. "Let me join you." A number of guests, even some of whom don't drink, followed them in search of a good strong drink.

Ranma broke off from his kiss as he suddenly realized he was now a she. She felt the water in her hair and turned to see that Nabiki was the culprit. "What ya do that for!?" She moved toward Nabiki, but was held back by her collar by her wife.

"Relax Ranma," Akane advised. "It wouldn't hurt to get a couple photos of you in that form."

Ranma tried to relax a bit, for her wife, and started to straighten out her suit. She noticed that her wedding ring no longer fit, and put it in her pocket.

Akane noticed that several of the guests looked at Ranma in shock and horror. She began to giggle nervously, "Oh... Um... This is still Ranma. He was cursed in China to turn into a girl when splashed with cold water. He'll turn back with hot water." This relaxed some of the guests, but she could tell they were very uneasy.

Ranma said, "We'll get someone to explain this. Can we get the photos done with?"

Several more photos were taken, some with the wedding party. Then another spray of water came from the guests. This time it hit Ryoga. Everyone gasped in amazement either at the best man made best pig or the person with the water gun.

Akane gasped, "Kasumi!?"

Kasumi said meekly, "Sorry, I just wanted to do that for such a long time."

Ranma asked, "Why didn't you?"

Kasumi replied, "I promised father I wouldn't tell."

Soun cried, "She's going to kill me!"

Akane cried out in an upset tone, "Was I the only one who didn't know? Why didn't someone tell me?"

Kasumi answered, "Because father saw him as a means to see how much Ranma cared for you. If Ranma was jealous of P-Chan, all was well. If not, he had to come up with a plan to get you together again. I did not agree with it, but I had promised."

Akari glared at her boyfriend knowing she would have to talk with that swine.

Nodoka thought she had known everything, yet now had to wonder how much more of this mess was out there.

Akane stared evilly at her father, but eased up at her husband's touch.

"We should take some pictures with P-Chan," Ranma pointed out, picking up P-Chan and handed him to her wife and as they posed for a couple more shots.

Ranma then asked, "Have enough pictures yet?"

Nabiki replied, "I guess."

Gosunkugi asked, "Um, could I get one of you two kissing... as you are now?"

Ranma and Akane glared at him.

"Come on, it'll be the last photo," Nabiki encouraged.

Akane pouted at her sister and then let out a sigh. "I guess."

Ranma grumbled under her breathe, knowing that if Nabiki wants the photo, she would get the photo, no matter how much it would hurt. Besides, she didn't really mind kissing her wife.

The newlyweds kissed once again, but for the first time, starting it when they were both girls. She felt a little self-conscious at first but soon went into a passionate kiss as she noticed Akane had no apprehensions about it.

"You really don't mind the curse, do you?" Ranma asked.

Akane whispered, "Nope. I fell in love with you, not your body. Besides, it means we can have lots more fun later." She gave him a wink.

Ranma stood there slack jawed.

"Nabiki, why don't you start explaining... about this?" Akane requested.

* * *

Nabiki began to tell the tale of how Ranma got cursed, but to the newlyweds' displeasure several of the guests proceeded to relate several of the events of the past year and a half. Most of the guests remained behind to hear about the interesting life they led.

The newlyweds were led to the dining room of the Tendo home. While Akari took Ryoga to the bath so he could change back, Ranma used a teakettle to changed back.

The newlyweds watched Kasumi set up a table with food for the reception when the minister led a few of the guests to them with the celebratory sake in tow. Sheepishly, Ranma and Akane cracked open the case to start the reception so the guests could start to drink.

Tables and chairs had been set up outside. All those involved in preparing the wedding thanked to the powers that be for the unusually warm and pleasant weather.

"This day seems so perfect," Ranma commented.

Akane smiled. "Yes, it seems like some higher being planned on us being married today."

"Yeah, well I thought the wedding would have more problems, especially with so many uninvited guests."

"More problems?" Akane screeched.

"Yeah. Everything that showed up only lasted a couple seconds," Ranma almost complained.

"Anything worse and the wedding might have been stopped," Akane retorted with a tinge of anger.

"Maybe I just wanted to protect Tendo Akane a bit more. After all I've got a lifetime to protect Saotome Akane," Ranma told her with a grin.

Akane, moved by Ranma's words, gave him that smile that always melted his heart and she started to kiss him passionately.

They broke it off when they heard someone clear their throat. Cologne and Shampoo stood before them.

Cologne bowed politely. "Congratulations Akane, you've won a very difficult battle for Ranma's heart."

"Um, thanks." Akane replied nervously.

"For this victory, I feel you have earned the right to be an honorary member of the Amazon tribe," Cologne announced.

Shampoo screamed out, "NO! Akane deserves no such honor. Great-grandmother only to make violent girl Amazon to save face."

Cologne scowled at the girl. "Now, calm down granddaughter, you know Akane has shown Amazon spirit in the past. It is only fitting that the one who married Ranma be an Amazon if not blood, then in name."

Shampoo only nodded her head in reply.

Cologne turned toward the newlywed girl. "Welcome to the Amazon tribe, Akane."

Akane stuttered, "I... I... don't know what to say."

Ranma asked, "This isn't going to come back and haunt us. Will it?"

"The only thing that will be asked of Akane is that she tries to live by our laws and if the Amazon tribe is in trouble, she will come and help," Cologne replied.

Akane frowned. "I don't know about following the laws, but if you need help, I'll be there."

Ranma corrected, "No. We'll be there."

Cologne smiled a devilish grin. "That is all I could really ask for. Thank you." She bowed to the couple.

Shampoo had to asked, "How? How did violent girl steal husband's heart? I love Ranma. I would make better wife than violent girl. Why Ranma marry violent girl and not me?"

Akane was at loss of words.

Ranma answered, "Shampoo, the reason why I married Akane is because I... love her."

Shampoo retorted, "But Ranma love Shampoo!"

Ranma shook his head. "I don't love you. I like you as a friend, but I do not love you. Do you understand?"

Shampoo pouted at him. "No. I no understand, but will accept. If Ranma love pervert girl more than me... Ranma should have pervert girl."

"Shampoo... ahh... I would like us all to be friends," Akane offered.

"I no know if can be friends... I will try. Congratulations, I hope Ranma and Akane happy." Shampoo turned away stiffly.

"Thanks," responded the newlyweds.

Shampoo then added, "But if no make Ranma happy, I will make pervert girl pay!"

"I'll do my best to make him happy. You have my word on that," Akane promised.

"Ranma, one more thing. Can I see your wedding ring?" Cologne asked.

"Why?" Ranma asked suspiciously.

Cologne pulled out a bottle filled with some sort of liquid. "I brought with me a magic oil that will allow it to change its size when you switch forms."

"Um, okay." Ranma wasn't sure to trust Cologne, but Mousse had said they couldn't do anything anymore.

Ranma handed Cologne the ring, and she put it inside a flask. She then shook it. After that, she carefully removed the ring and cleaned it. The elder Amazon then handed the ring back to Ranma. Akane took the ring and slipped it back onto his finger.

"Thanks. Hopefully it'll work," Ranma said.

"Your welcome," Cologne replied.

The Amazons bowed to the couple and returned to the dojo.

A moment later, Ranma's grandparents arrived, followed by Nodoka with her hand on her katana.

Ranma's grandfather began nervously, "Ah... Congratulations. Wish we could stay longer, but we, ah, need to be somewhere else." He cast a worried glance toward Nodoka.

Ranma's grandmother bowed and added, "Congratulation. I wish you all the best. I would like you to consider teaching your children in the family art."

Nodoka replied, "They will teach them the family art of Anything Goes Martial Arts."

Ranma nodded. "Yes."

Nodoka pointedly announced, "It is too bad you have to leave, NOW. Let me show you the way out."

Ranma's grandparents nervously nodded and left with Nodoka.

Akane asked, "What was that about?"

Ranma nervously said, "Um... They practice the art of, um... thievery."

Akane rolled her eyes. "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

* * *

Akari sat in the changing room of the bath and waited for Ryoga to finish getting dress. He finally finished with the exception of the bow tie.

"Now would you care to explain why you said 'I do' during the wedding?" Akari demanded.

Ryoga stuttered, "It's, ah, well, ah... I..."

Akari chided, "You love her, don't you?"

Ryoga could only nod, while his girlfriend fumed. "I'm sorry. I haven't gotten over how I feel about her. I want to put that behind me, but I can't. Part of me will always want to be with her. But I want to be with you now. Please forgive me."

"You're not using me to try and forget her, are you?" Akari accused.

Ryoga waved his hands in denial. "No. I wouldn't do that. When you came into my life I still thought I had a chance with Akane. I was torn between you two, I couldn't decide. I felt drawn to you because you accepted me for who I was, curses and all. Because of you, I could finally realize that Ranma and Akane belong together."

"Are you with me only because I accept you as a pig?" Akari questioned.

"No. I'm with you because you're kind, caring, nice, cute, and understanding. I want us to be together. Please forgive me." Ryoga bowed his head.

"I... I forgive you. Now let's go back, my cute little pig." Akari finished with a grin, but Ryoga wondered if all was truly forgiven.

* * *

Ukyou ran out of the dojo, followed by Konatsu. They ran past Ranma and Akane and went upstairs. The young chef went into Nabiki's room and locked the door behind her.

Konatsu asked, "Are you all right?"

Ukyou replied, "No. I can't take much more of this. I... I want to go home."

"Okay, we'll go home now," Konatsu agreed.

"We'll leave as soon as I get out of this damn dress!" Ukyou screamed.

Akane and Ranma arrived upstairs. Konatsu answered the worried looks of the newlyweds with his own.

Ranma asked, "What's wrong?"

Konatsu replied, "Today has been too much for her. We'll be leaving as soon as she finished changing."

Ranma asked, "Ucchan are you okay?"

Ukyou exited Nabiki's room, her tux had been put on in haste. "I'm not okay Ranma, and please call me Ukyou for now. That other name reminds me of too much."

Ranma flinched. "If that's what you want."

"It is. I... I've got to go." Tears weld up into Ukyou's eyes before she ran out of the Tendo home, Konatsu following closely behind.

Akane whispered, "I hope she'll be all right."

Ranma added, "I hope so too."

* * *

A couple hours passed as the guests listened to the stories of some of the events that occurred in the past year and a half. Ranma and Akane recovered a little from their encounter with Ukyou. During this time some of the guests congratulated the newlyweds. After the stories were told the guests proceeded to make for the food, and the dojo was converted into a dance hall. The minister had been sent home, completely drunk.

Once the starving guests had decimated the food table, they either went to the dojo to dance or stayed at the tables outside to talk.

The first dance went to Ranma and Akane. The guests watched as they swayed to the music. They were not actually dancing, as neither of them knew how, so they tried to fake it. The guests started to join in the dancing. First among those on the dance floor were Nodoka and Genma, Ryoga and Akari, and Mikado and Kodachi. It wasn't long before the newlyweds retreated to the dining room.

Mousse nervously approached Shampoo and asked, "Shampoo, my love. May I have the pleasure of this dance?"

"I believe that is Shampoo," Yuka replied, giggled while she pointed at the purple-haired amazon.

Mousse pulled his glasses to his eyes. "Sorry." He went over to Shampoo, now actually wearing his glasses, and asked, "My love. May I have the pleasure of this dance?"

Shampoo screamed her reply, "NO! I will not dance with blind duck-boy. I would rather be killed by dog!"

Mousse pleaded, "But my love, I am training under Ranma so that I can earn the right to be your husband."

Shampoo yelled, "You have no right to be my husband. Right belongs to man who defeats me in battle. And you are no man!"

Mousse stated, "I shall prove myself to you."

Shampoo continued her rant, "No way can duck prove he man. Duck only good for being dinner. Annoy me anymore, I cook you." She then grabbed Mousse and threw him through the dojo wall and into the koi pond. She glared at two guys who watched the one sided argument and demanded, "What boys looking at?"

Hiroshi and Daisuke replied, "Oh... nothing."

"Quack. Quack," was heard from the pond.

Chibi-Ms. Hinako grinned, pulling out a five yen coin. "Now that is not the way for a guest to behave at a wedding. Happo Go-en Shatsu."

Shampoo's chi was drained into Ms. Hinako. Her body went from that of a ten-year-old to her beautiful, buxom adult form while Shampoo blew into the wall as if she were a paper doll. Several guys started to fight to ask the teacher to dance.

Ms. Hinako had other ideas and walked up to Soun. "Greetings Mr. Tendo, I wonder if you would allow me the pleasure of this dance?"

Soun stuttered, "Su... Sure."

Nabiki looked at her with disgust. The guys who had been fighting started to cry.

* * *

Pantyhose looked at Shampoo and said aloud to himself, "Great, now I really have to avoid fighting her."

Cologne responded to Pantyhose anyway, "Why? She is a rather beautiful young woman, and a great fighter. Also, it would not matter what your name is."

Pantyhose glared at Cologne. "I'd rather marry fem-boy than her." If he took out an Amazon, his name would not be a problem. Maybe he should pay a visit to an Amazon village. He could just forget about it and wait for an opportunity to beat the crap out of Happosai and get him to change his name, or, for fun, he could trash Ranma again.

* * *

Dr. Tofu did not notice anything. He was busy as he tried to build up enough courage and self-control to ask Kasumi to dance.

Kasumi approached and greeted, "Hello, Dr. Tofu."

Dr. Tofu stuttered, "Ka... Kasumi... ah, hi. Nice day isn't it."

Kasumi replied, "Oh my, yes. A perfect day for a wedding."

Dr. Tofu's glasses started to get covered by steam. "Kasumi... would you... ah, like to... ah..." he attempted to say as he tentatively stretched out his hand toward the dance floor.

Kasumi took the hint. "Dance? I'd love to." She promptly led the nervous doctor to the dance floor and found herself having to guide his movements. The entire time Dr. Tofu barely remained in control, while she smiled. Regretfully the song came to an end. "Thank you for the dance."

"You... You're welcomed." Dr. Tofu began to giggle like a little child as his control snapped. He began to dance away merrily, shouting, "She danced with me! She danced with me!" The young doctor continued his dance of joy through the dojo wall, over the wall fence, and into streets.

Kasumi frowned at the sight. "And he was doing so well."

* * *

As the evening progressed, many of the guests grew tired and were preparing to leave. Soun decided now was the time to give Ranma and Akane their wedding present. He got all the guests into the dojo and then brought the newlyweds in.

Soun shouted, "May I please have your attention?"

The guests quieted down.

Soun began to speak, "This day has been a long time coming. An arrangement, that was made nearly twenty years ago, for the purpose of joining the Tendo clan and the Saotome clan, has finally happened on this joyful day." He then began to cry tears of joy.

Genma continued the speech, "Now that Ranma and Akane are married, they shall carry on the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, as shall their children."

Soun regained his composure and then continued, "As the heirs to our illustrious school of martial arts, it is my pleasure to give them the Tendo dojo and home."

Genma removed a sheet to reveal two signs. One stated Saotome Dojo, and the other Saotome. Ranma, Akane, and many of the guests were stunned. Soun returned to cry for joy.

Ranma final spoke, "The house is ours?!"

Genma replied, "Yes."

Ranma and Akane could not grasp the idea. The dojo and the house belonged to them.

Nabiki added, "And don't worry too much about the expenses. Along with the house comes a small amount of money and some stocks in Nerima Construction Industries. That should be enough to handle most of your expenses for at least a couple years. Of course you realize that it's our turn to freeload off you, Ranma."

Ranma regained a few of his faculties and saw an opportunity to get at Nabiki and joked, "Ah... Mr. Tendo and Pop can freeload, Kasumi and Mom do more than enough house work to earn their place, but you, what do you offer?"

Nabiki retorted, "Well, the meager amount daddy is giving you should last two years, if you're in control, two months. Let me handle it, and you might never have to work."

Ranma stuttered, "Um... right. Money advice." Eager to change subjects, he stated, "I guess we should throw the bouquet and garter now."

A few of the guests cheered their approval. Genma moved the signs out of the way.

Akane shouted, "All right. Girls first. All you single girls get into the middle of the dojo."

Shampoo inquired, "What's going on?"

Cologne answered, "It's an odd western contest. I want you to win this."

Shampoo nodded and joined the mass of girls.

Akane turned her back to the girls and said, "Ready? One... Two... Three..."

Akane launched the bouquet over her shoulder. Kodachi and Shampoo jumped above the girls. Kodachi let loose her ribbon and attempted to snare the bouquet that was nearly in the Amazon's hands. The ribbon missed its target and wrapped itself around Shampoo's arms. This prevented the Amazon from grabbing the bouquet, which landed unmolested into the hands of Kasumi.

"My!" Kasumi said, blushing.

Ranma stated, "Hope Doc gets over his problem soon."

Akane nodded in agreement.

Soun cried yet more tears of joy. "Another daughter shall soon be married."

Shampoo broke free of the ribbon and promptly knocked Kodachi senseless. She returned to her great-grandmother's side. "Sorry. Crazy girl prevented me from winning."

Cologne nodded thoughtfully. "It's all right. The winner of this contest is suppose to be the next person who will be married."

Shampoo blinked. "Then why Great-grandmother want Shampoo to compete?"

"I wanted to know if you were next to be married," Cologne replied simply.

Shampoo pouted. "Oh. Hope Mousse no win. He would get wrong idea."

Ranma shouted, "Okay, guys your turn."

The single guys formed a group in the center. Genma pushed Soun into the group. Mousse and Ryoga flanked the sides and prepared to snare the garter.

Akane sat on a chair that was placed in front of and yet a fair distance from the guys. Ranma knelt down in front of her. She stretched out her leg. He moved his hands teasingly up her leg and under her dress. After a moment as he blindly groped for the garter, she whapped him on the head. "That is not the garter." Many growls were heard from the assembled men.

Ranma quickly found garter after that. He started to pull it off.

Akane stopped him. "You're suppose to take it off with your teeth."

Many more growls were heard from the assembled guys.

Ranma smiled as he nervously as he ducked his head under the dress. Akane momentarily had an odd look on her face and muttered, "I told you that's not the garter." The guys, fortunately, did not hear this.

Ranma ever so slowly pulled the garter down and off her leg with his teeth. Akane leaned toward him and whispered something, which he blushed and nodded in reply. He stood up and kept his back to the guys and said, "Ready? One... Two... Three..." He stretched the garter and shot it over his shoulder like a rubber band.

The mass of males shot forth in attempts to grab it. Kuno, Ryoga, Principal Kuno, Mousse, and Pantyhose all leapt for the garter. A wall exploded and a flash of movement was seen before the dust obscured the group of men. As the dust settled the guys were in a massive pile wrapped in chains. Only one guy was standing. That guy looked at the garter in his hands with a puzzled look. Everyone blinked and looked at the him as he had not been there a moment before. His puzzlement ended when he heard someone call his name.

Kasumi clapped her hands together. "Dr. Tofu! You're back... and you caught the garter!"

Dr. Tofu turned and saw Kasumi holding the bouquet and stammered, "Y-you caught the bouquet?" She nodded and he promptly fainted with a smile on his face.

Akane smirked. "I guess they're destined to be together."

Ranma laughed. "Maybe, but only if he can keep himself in control."

* * *

The guests started to leave after congratulating the newlywed couple. By eleven o'clock only a handful remained. The Saotome family, the Tendo family, and Mousse were cleaning up.

Ms. Hinako was once again in the body of a little girl as she bowed and chirped gleefully, "This was a great wedding, to bad there weren't many fights. I wish you two all the best."

Akane and Ranma replied, "Thanks."

Pantyhose arrived after she left. "So fem-boy decided to settle down."

Akane interjected, "Not really."

Pantyhose laughed. "Good luck on your marriage. Oh, Ranma, I'll be back before I leave for China to beat the crap out of you for old times sake." He turned around and walked into the koi pond. This transformed him into his monstrous cursed form and he flew off.

Ranma looked at Pantyhose as he flew away and muttered, "I hate that jerk."

Principal Kuno approached and said, "You two are excused from school fo' the next two days. But, I expect you to be at school bright and early Thursday."

Akane replied, "Thank you."

Principal Kuno pulled out a stack of papers and then added, "Here is da homework you'll miss, I expect dem to be done Thursday. Oh, an' good luck on the marriage." The principal left them while laughing.

Ranma muttered, "Thanks for nothing, jerk."

A moment passed and then Ms. Hinako returned. "I forgot to give you two your present from the teachers." She proceeded to grab the homework and mark "A" on each the assignments. "Here you go. Enjoy the honeymoon," she giggled.

"Th... thanks," stuttered Ranma.

"Thank you, but you shouldn't have..." Akane said before being interrupted.

"Forget about the homework. You two should have nothing to worry about for the next couple days. Okay?" The child teacher waved her finger at them.

Ranma and Akane nodded in agreement, and Ms. Hinako left for home. After a few more guests congratulated the newlyweds and left, only their families and Mousse remained and they had just finished cleaning.

Nodoka approached them. "Well, it is time for us to go."

Akane chirped, "Go?"

Nodoka nodded. "Since we can't give you two a proper honeymoon, we'll give you run of the house for the next two days. We'll be staying at my house."

Akane blushed. "Thank you. And thanks for the helping with the wedding."

Nodoka smiled tenderly. "It was my pleasure."

Ranma added, "See you in a couple days."

Nodoka hugged Ranma and then Akane.

"Tomorrow, I'll be shopping for a new bed for you two as a wedding present. I was wondering if you wanted just a larger bed or a futon couch?" Nodoka asked.

Ranma and Akane looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.

"I guess the futon would be better. It would give us more room," Akane answered.

Ranma nodded in agreement.

Nodoka nodded as well. "Okay. I'll see you later. Goodbye."

Ranma and Akane replied, "Goodbye."

Mousse approached and said, "I guess it's time to leave. I'll be back Thursday afternoon to start training."

Ranma replied, "Sure."

Akane added, "Thank you for helping."

Mousse bowed. "You're welcome."

Ranma and Akane said their good-byes to their family and were left alone at the house. They shut and locked the house up and went upstairs to what used to be Akane's room, but now was their room. The sign that had been on the door, the duck with Akane's name on it, had been removed and replaced with a new sign shaped in the Yin-Yang symbol with both their names written on it.

* * *

Author's Note:

Special thanks to Mark Premo for the suggestion of changing the scene where "Let no man, etc... put asunder" by having it interrupted at each point.

And thank you David Tatum and Rea Konecki for helping with the original version of this chapter.

Soul of Ice - This is part of the Hiryu Shoten Ha technique, in which you suppress emotional reactions to maintain a cold aura and to be able to run in a spiral while being attacked.

Dragon Hair/Bald Men - A cure for baldness is to eat Dragon hair. There is a group of bald men that want to get the hair by any means.


	8. Honeymoon Blues

**Ranma 1/2: The Insanity Continues**

**Volume 2 - Reflections and Changes**

**Chapter 1 - Honeymoon Blues**

_Written by Lord Archive_

Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

This series was originally written in 1997, long before ffnet existed. This is one of my first fanfictions. Some edits have been made to improve readability, but it remains as an example of early Ranma 1/2 fanfiction. When this was being written, elements of this story weren't cliched, it was creating the cliches. While this remains as one of my more popular Ranma 1/2 series, it is not without it's faults as I was new to writing stories and a complete translation of Ranma 1/2 manga had yet to appear in America when this was originally written more than fifteen years ago.

There is a brand new scene in this chapter, that did not exist before October 2012. It was written to help tone down one of the early Ranma cliches regarding Nodoka, and to better bring her real personality in this series.

* * *

_Hello! Saotome Akane here. Yes, you heard right, Saotome. I finally married that stupid jerk, one month after the bombed wedding. It happened after I had a private talk with Ranma, found out about Ryouga's curse, and got pregnant. You would think that this would end at least some part of the insanity of the past year and a half, but it didn't._

* * *

She had lost him. Without him, she was nothing, cared for nothing, had nothing. Eleven years of her life, her childhood, her womanhood, all wasted chasing a man she could never have. And he had just married someone else. What was worse, she couldn't exact her vengeance upon him as she still loved him.

Kuonji Ukyou sat on the floor of the restaurant she had built for her love, cursing him and the memories her restaurant brought up. After ten o'clock, she got off the floor and grabbed some pens and paper. Motioning to Konatsu, who had been watching her from the shadows the entire time, she handed the writing equipment to him.

She stated with a sob, "Write down any ideas you have to remodel this place."

Konatsu blinked. "Huh?"

She did not reply as she walked over to the counter, pulled out her giant spatula and decimated the counter.

Konatsu grabbed her weapon. "Ukyou, Stop! What are you doing?!"

"My old life is over." Ukyou did not look up from the debris for a moment. Then she turned to him, staring at him with tears in her eyes. "So I'm preparing to make a new one."

"What are you planning to do?" Konatsu fretted.

"I'm going to gut Ucchan's and open Ukyou's in it's place. And when I see Ranma and Akane again I'll... I'll..." Ukyou choked back some tears. "I don't know what I'll do."

"They didn't mean to hurt you. They are your friends. Please don't push them away," Konatsu pleaded.

He did not get a reply as Ukyou resumed her destructive outpouring against her restaurant.

* * *

Kuno slowly marched into his room, crestfallen. The loves of his life just married each other. Well, one of his loves, the other was a lie. He glared at a poster of the girl he once called his pig-tailed goddess.

He raised his bokken to the poster and shouted, "You vile cur. You have deceived me, the Blue Thunder, with your heinous magic. For that alone I have the right to seek vengeance, but you have also captured the heart of the beauteous Tendo Akane. For that the swift punishment of heaven is not enough. You deserve the slow agonizing revenge of hell!"

He shredded all the pictures of Ranma in female form off his walls, and then his eyes befell the pictures of Akane. "You are now lost to me for all time. You, the fairest of women, lost to the evil Saotome. I shall honor your wish and not interfere, but I shall have my revenge on Ranma, somehow. Now I must commit the ultimate sacrifice and lay low my love for you."

He took down all the pictures of Akane. As he removed the final poster, he noticed a picture that had been placed there over two years ago, before his obsession with the youngest Tendo. "Maybe it is you who is truly the love of my life. A girl of cunning and intellect that rivals no other, but your spirit does not match what a noble warrior such as I should have as a wife and love. After all this time, there is still something that beckons me to you, though. I shall sleep on this thought."

He walked over to his bed and fell dead asleep.

The only picture remaining on his wall was tattered and slightly faded with age. It was almost indistinguishable, however, the image of a fifteen year old girl with short brown hair could still be seen.

* * *

Overnight the unusually warm weather passed and gave way to the cold chilling rains of winter. Ranma and Akane didn't care, they weren't going anywhere while on their honeymoon. Most of their friends and rivals, however, felt the weather suited their moods perfectly.

* * *

Ryoga stood at the door of the Unryu farmhouse, watching Akari feed her pigs. He was lost in thought. He lamented the loss of Akane, and hoped he was not losing his girlfriend. He made a mistake at the wedding. A mistake he doubted she would truly forgive him for.

Akari returned from her morning chores and looked at Ryoga with concern.

Akari asked, "Ryoga are you okay?"

Ryoga looked at her with sorrow filled eyes, "I'm fine."

Akari shook her head. "Ryoga, I realize it's hard to let go of someone you love. But you should know first loves almost never work out."

Ryoga raised an eyebrow. "Who was your first love?"

Akari sighed. "I guess if I tell you, it'll help you get over Akane. Well, he was this guy at school and when he laughed he sounded like a pig..."

* * *

"Here you go Mu Mu-chan," said Kasumi as she placed some food and water near Mousse.

Mousse quacked his thanks. He was thankful Kasumi allowed him to be her temporary pet, so as not to inconvenience the Saotome and the Tendo families. He sat in the kitchen and watched Nodoka and Kasumi got into a pleasant argument of who should cook.

He really didn't mind being Kasumi's pet, as it was better than being Cologne's. Even if he had to be Cologne's pet, he would be happy. Shampoo was free of Saotome and he now had the chance to win her through combat.

He wanted to go to Shampoo and declare his love to her, but he knew that would cause him no end of pain from either Shampoo or Cologne, possibly both. He just sat there and took comfort knowing that soon he would be able to prove his love.

He was distracted from his thoughts by Nabiki asking, "So, what are you doing here, Mousse."

The duck flapped his wings. "Quack, quack."

"Oh, he's been thrown out of his home until he can defeat Shampoo," answered Kasumi.

"Decided to play the P-Chan act, huh?" Nabiki asked.

Mousse nodded. "Quack."

Nodoka, realizing this was the same guy Shampoo threw into the koi pond at the wedding reception, asked, "Why is he staying a duck?"

"He insisted because he doesn't want to inconvenience us," answered Kasumi.

Nodoka shook her head. "My son certainly has some interesting friends."

* * *

She did not understand how she had lost him. She was cuter than Akane, she was a better fighter than Akane, she was a better cook than Akane... in fact, she was better than Akane at everything else she could think of. She lay on the bed, bemoaning her loss.

Shampoo had loved Ranma with all of her heart, but after he got Akane pre... pre... pregnant, he had to marry her. Shampoo had never managed to get anything more than a hug or a kiss from Ranma. Who was she kidding? All of the times he hugged her were drug induced, and she forced all of the other hugs and kisses upon him. She had never gotten anything from him.

Shampoo rolled over, revealing the tears in her eyes. All she wanted to do was to be able to wake up and find this was all just a nightmare, but she knew in her heart that it wasn't. Ranma was lost to her...

* * *

Cologne worked the Neko-hantan alone as Shampoo was still in bed. Cologne would have to get her downstairs soon to help with the lunch rush.

Cologne wanted to help Shampoo get over the loss quickly. Regrettably, she had not raised a child nor dealt with these matters for a VERY long time. She had spent the last year training Shampoo as a warrior, rarely giving what could be considered motherly advice. What she told Akane after being freed from the Imprisonment Gem was something she had said to many young mothers before, and would do so many times in the future. They weren't exactly her own words, either.

Cologne wanted to kill Akane for interfering with Amazon laws, but could not do so because of the same laws. She used her last chance to get Ranma as a protector, and possible addition, to the Amazon tribe, by making Akane an Amazon, and it worked. The only man who has a chance to defeat her had pledged to help the Amazons in times of trouble, thereby gaining a powerful protector. Ranma still remained an enigma to her. He was only seventeen, yet he was potentially among the top ten human warriors on the planet. How could one so young be so powerful?

She pushed the thought aside to be pursued again in the future.

Cologne decided to see if she had a potion that could dull the love Shampoo felt for Ranma, wishing she had realized the need to use it on Akane before it was too late. Though the war for Ranma likely had ended long ago, he had just not announced who had won.

Besides, life in Japan was more convenient and training Ranma was a special joy. Having to stay here was hardly a burden to her. She did not truly begrudge the boy's choice, nor did she actually dislike Akane. She regretted that her great-granddaughter likely never had much of a chance to win his heart and truly added him to the tribe.

* * *

Ranma slowly woke with a smile on his face. He frowned a little when he realized that Akane wasn't there and wondered where she might be. He heard a noise approach the door and was suddenly filled with dread. His wife wouldn't have cooked breakfast, would she? Would she really start the 'punishment' on our honeymoon?

The door opened to reveal Akane holding a tray with two bowls, two glasses, two spoons, a container of milk, a container of orange juice, and a box of cereal.

Akane saw the frightened look on Ranma's face and was a little angry.

Ranma relaxed at the sight of cereal and smiled, "Good morning."

There was a short battle in Akane's head, whether to be angry at Ranma or to forget about it. She forgot about it.

"Actually it's afternoon now," she blushed. "You can thank your Mom for suggesting cereal for breakfast. She thought it best for me to keep things simple, at least during the honeymoon."

He nodded in agreement, while silently thanking his mother.

* * *

Under the trees, in the cracks and crevices, and along the rooftops of Furinkan High School were hundreds of male figures. Some were wearing all black in mourning, some were plotting and planning, and some were designing highly explosive land mines. All, however, shared one common feature, they were all crying over the loss of Akane.

The girls of Furinkan weren't exactly pleased that Ranma was officially off the market, but most of them had long accepted that they didn't have a chance with him.

Hiroshi and Daisuke were among the few who were happy. Sure Akane was no longer available, if she ever was. The wedding freed Ukyou and Shampoo to enter the dating circuit.

"So which one do you want to go after: the Amazon or the chef?" asked Daisuke.

"I prefer the chef. The Amazon seems too...well...she's easily swayed by mood swings and is extremely violent," replied Hiroshi.

Daisuke waved a finger. "But that would also describe Akane, and you know what kind of following she had. Besides Shampoo is a much better looker."

"Looks are good, but not everything," Hiroshi retorted.

Daisuke nodded. "True, but it is a large part of the consideration."

Hiroshi leaned toward his best friend. "Are you foolish enough to challenge her to a fight?"

Daisuke grinned. "Challenge her to fight, no. Set a trap to defeat her, yes."

Hiroshi shook his head. "Are you stupid? If you defeat her like that she might decide to kill you. If she doesn't, you'll have to marry her and move to China. Leaving everything behind."

Daisuke leaned back, "It might just be worth it."

"You are stupid," Hiroshi deadpanned.

* * *

Nabiki picked at her lunch. She was trying to figure out what money making schemes to start considering. Her main source wasn't going to generate as much money as it used to. Her last scheme was to open a betting pool on how long it would be before Akane got pregnant. This didn't fool many of the students as several bets were placed that she already got pregnant. Three people won so far out of the forty-two who placed bets. Most of them thought she's been pregnant for more than a week.

She looked over her mental list of people who made her money. She had a couple days before I needed to figure out how to make money off Ranma and Akane. Ryoga would likely be gone for weeks if not months. Ukyou won't be much help. Shampoo... may have to check on her. May start a contest to find a husband for her. Mousse... he'll be training at the dojo for a while. She could set up betting pools concerning his attempts to get Shampoo. Kodachi was always a bit of a loose cannon, but charging guys to date her would be good. Kuno-chan was no good until she found out who his next love would be.

Nabiki absent-mindedly wrote down some of her ideas.

_Betting pool based on Mousse's attempts to win Shampoo: _  
_Date of first battle. _  
_Winner of battle. _  
_Shampoo defeated/married before Mousse can win. _  
_Shampoo accepting Mousse if he defeats her._

* * *

Two of Akane's friends sat eating lunch.

"That was an interesting wedding," Sayuri said.

"Certainly was," agreed Yuka.

Sayuri stared outside. "It seems that nothing is normal for them."

Yuka nodded. "They lead an interesting life. Just be thankful we get to watch from the sidelines."

"Wouldn't want to get involved in some of that craziness." Sayuri giggled.

Yuka shared the laugh. "It would prove rather bad for our health."

Sayuri started to pick at her food. "It seems odd that Akane got married."

Yuka blinked. "How so? She was engaged to him for a year and a half and they love each other."

Sayuri pointed at her friend with her chopsticks. "Yes, but before then she screamed daily, 'I despise men!' or 'I hate boys!' And she's the first to get married and to someone who's, 'a man amongst men.'"

Yuka giggled. "Maybe she wanted to marry his girl half."

Sayuri laughed. "I doubt it."

* * *

"I hope they like the futon I picked out," Nodoka thought aloud as she walked to the restaurant section of the market. She stopped as she noticed Ukyou and Konatsu taking a broken table to the trash.

"Hello," Nodoka greeted.

Ukyou and Konatsu replied, "Hello."

Nodoka frowned at the girl. "I thought you would be at school now."

Ukyou shrugged weakly. "I don't feel up to going to school right now."

"What seems to be the matter?" Nodoka asked.

"Everything is wrong," Ukyou snapped.

Nodoka blinked at the outburst. "Why don't we talk about it? It would make you feel better."

"It couldn't hurt anymore than I feel now," Ukyou muttered.

The young chef led the woman into what used to be Ucchan's. Konatsu continued to clean up what was left of the place.

Nodoka was shocked at the damage. "What happened here?"

"I ripped the place apart," Ukyou answered unemotionally.

"Whatever for?" Nodoka demanded.

"I built this place out of my love for Ranma. I built it here so I could be near him. And if he had chosen me, I could have supported him. This place was a symbol of my love for him, and he rejected that love. This is what's left of that love," Ukyou finished as she waved her hand across the decimated room.

Nodoka patted the girl's shoulder. "Dear, Ranma didn't reject your love. He still cares for you. It's just that there is someone more important to him. He wants to stay friends with you..."

Ukyou angrily interrupted, "That's all I ever was! Just a friend! He never gave me chance to be more than friends. I wanted us to be married. Why didn't he choose me? I love him more than Akane ever could."

Nodoka gazed hardened at the girl. "Are you sure about that?"

Ukyou nodded firmly. "Even Ranma admitted I love him more than she does! He means everything to me and he left me behind. Again!"

"Why does he mean everything to you?" Nodoka asked firmly.

Ukyou looked the woman for a moment. "Because he's the first person to see the real me."

Nodoka seemed to be looking through the girl. "Did he really see the real you, or the you you wanted to be for him?"

Ukyou stood firm. "What he saw was the real me."

"From what Ranma told me about you, the Ukyou he knew would never have attacked him at the wedding attempt nor destroyed her own restaurant. Yet you've done both. You've been hiding behind masks your entire life, first as a guy and then as Ranma's cute, friendly fiancee. I suspect neither of them are the real you," Nodoka shot at her.

"Who am I then?" Ukyou asked sarcastically.

"I don't know," Nodoka admitted. "But, you've been given the opportunity to find out. You might even realize that you never really loved Ranma in the first place, but was in love with the idea of being in love with him."

Ukyou replied angrily, "But I love him, not some idea of love!"

"When you thought of your future with Ranma, was it always perfect?" Nodoka questioned seriously.

Ukyou nodded. "Of course."

Nodoka frowned at her. "Do you realize that if I asked Ranma or Akane that, they would say otherwise?"

Ukyou blinked. "Huh?"

"They realize their life will have problems, especially with the insanity my son seems to bring with him. They'll fight to make things better, because of their love for each other. They know a perfect ideal life is impossible for them," Nodoka explained.

Ukyou did not budge. "I could've made his life perfect."

"Are you willing to put up with the life my son leads? Not knowing if the animal that entered your home is really an animal or not. Having demons crash into your living room. Going a week without something magical or supernatural happening would be a rare event. Knowing that one of his adventures could be the death of him, you, or someone you care about. Have you ever thought of these things being part of your perfect life?" Nodoka verbally ripped apart the girl's fantasy.

Ukyou stared at Nodoka. She had never thought about his future in that context. It was always of him being a loving husband with him helping her or her helping him in their chosen professions. For some reason she felt the insanity would end with their marriage.

Ukyou, uncertain how to answer, asked, "Did you ask Akane this?"

Nodoka gave a curt nod. "Yes, after the first wedding attempt, when I realized just how much craziness my son's life has. Akane told me that her time in China proved to her how much she loves Ranma, and his love for her. Did you know they both almost died trying to save each other?"

"But I'd die for him too!" Ukyou protested.

Nodoka folded her arms. "Would you also put up with being kidnapped and used for bait?"

"I'd never get kidnapped," Ukyou defended.

"Really. Do you think you could fight off dozens of attackers that are all master martial artists? What if they fly? Use magic?" Nodoka pressed.

"I don't know." Ukyou looked at floor.

Nodoka put her hand on Ukyou's shoulder. "Dear. I think you've been living in a dream. A dream that ended with an outcome you didn't want. It's time you looked at things for what they really are, and not what you want them to be."

Nodoka's words struck at Ukyou. Everything she thought she knew about her life had just been shredded apart. What did she know? She knew how to make the best Okonomiyaki, but right now it seemed she didn't really know anything else.

Ukyou gave Nodoka a confused look. "I'll think about what you said. I need to get back to fixing this place."

"If you need to talk, call me," Nodoka told as she pulled a piece of paper and pen out of her purse and wrote down the number to the Saotome home. "If I'm not there, I'll be at the dojo."

Ukyou nodded and out of respectful habit replied, "Thanks."

* * *

"Akari?" Ryoga began, gazing at his girlfriend as they were eating lunch. "You're not completely over your old boy friend, are you?"

Akari shook her head, "I guess not. I thought I was, but talking about him brought back some memories. I guess there will always be a place in my heart for him, as Akane has in yours."

Ryoga nodded. "It gets easier, right?"

"You mean easier to not think about them?" Akari asked.

Ryoga shrugged. "I guess."

"It does get easier, and the pain of missing them also decreases over time," Akari admitted.

Ryoga smiled at her. "I'm lucky, I found someone before I lost Akane."

"It's too bad about Ukyou and Shampoo, though, from what I understand they don't have anyone else," Akari pointed out.

Ryoga nodded in agreement, "Especially Ukyou, besides Ranma, her only friends are Akane and Konatsu. And, well, you can guess what she thinks of Ranma and Akane right now."

"Maybe we should visit Nerima soon, and help," Akari suggested.

"That would be great," he smiled. While he was beginning to like staying at the Unryu farmhouse, he still disliked being near a pig farm.

* * *

After that little incident with Ukyou, Nodoka began to worry about the other people hurt by this marriage. Because of that she decided to drop by the Neko-hantan and check up on Shampoo. Besides, she was hungry- she hadn't had lunch yet.

"Nihao," Shampoo greeted sadly.

"Hello," Nodoka returned.

Shampoo led Nodoka to a seat. "What does mother-in... Ranma's mother want?"

After a second of looking at the menu, "I guess I'll have Pork Ramen. Oh, Shampoo, when you have some time I'd like to talk to you."

"No want to talk now," Shampoo protested.

Cologne appeared next to them and interrupted, "Shampoo would be happy to talk with you after the lunch rush is over."

"But..." Shampoo said before Cologne gave her a stern look. "Okay, talk with Ranma's mother later."

Cologne went back to the kitchen, hoping that Mrs. Saotome wanted to help Shampoo get over Ranma.

The young amazon walked over to her various customers. She talked to them in a sober voice. And, much to the dismay of the male clientele, she didn't bounce around like she normally did.

Shampoo had devoted her attention to the customers, until Nodoka was the only one left. She sighed and walked over to her. "Free to talk now."

"How are you feeling?" Nodoka wondered.

Shampoo began to study the floor. "Not good. Trying to understand why ai... Ranma chose tomboy over me."

Nodoka replied with a smile, "The simplest of reasons, love."

"But why Ranma love tomboy?" Shampoo demanded.

Nodoka shook her head. "I couldn't begin to even try to know all the reasons."

Shampoo pouted. "I am better than Akane in everything, Ranma should love me."

"Dear, if being better meant anything, I would never have fallen in love with Genma. Even after all his failings and mistakes, I still love him," Nodoka told her.

Shampoo blinked. "How love man who isn't even good panda?"

Nodoka shrugged. "I'll let you know when I figure it out."

Shampoo looked at the woman strangely. "Don't know?"

Nodoka shook her head, "No, I don't."

"One should love someone who's perfect, like Ranma," Shampoo protested.

Nodoka laughed. "No one is perfect. To truly love someone you need to recognize their failings, and accept or even prefer them."

"Ranma not perfect?" Shampoo was surprise anyone, especially his own mother, would say such a thing.

"If Ranma was perfect, would he have kept his relationships unresolved as long as did, lied to me about his curse, or insult someone he loves?" Nodoka asked seriously.

After a moment, Shampoo answered, "Do not think so."

"Akane recognizes these faults, and even sees some that aren't even there, and yet she loves him. Ranma also sees her faults and accepts them too," Nodoka explained.

Shampoo shook her head, "Thought I knew what love was. Now not so sure."

"Love is something that is unexplainable. If you can explain it, it's not love," Nodoka said sagely.

Shampoo let out a forced laugh. "Maybe should talk with Mousse, about this. Mousse can list why love me."

"Then maybe he doesn't really love you, he just thinks he does," Nodoka replied.

"Like I thought I love Ranma," Shampoo said soberly.

"While you may not have really loved him, it doesn't mean you don't have strong feelings for him that resemble love. You'll still miss him and yearn for him, but it may not have been true love," Nodoka offered.

"Not true love," Shampoo repeated as she turned away and walked off, lost in thought.

"Thank you. You've helped a lot," Cologne said as she arrived at the table.

"It's the least I could do, considering my son is the cause of her pain. If she needs someone to talk to, I'll being willing to listen." Nodoka handed the elderly woman a piece of paper.

Cologne smiled gratefully. "She just might take you up on that offer."

* * *

Ranma was awake in bed with Akane sleeping on him. He gently stroked her hair.

"You may be uncute, but now you're my uncute wife," he whispered.

Akane was not as asleep as she appeared. She opened her eyes, letting a hidden tear fall. "Ranma..." she sniffed. "Why do you still call me that? Do I really look that bad to you?"

He sighed. "Akane... I'm not insulting you by calling you uncute. And I'm not talking about how you look, either. You're a very beautiful woman, but you aren't cute."

Akane didn't quite look so sad, but now she looked very confused.

Ranma sighed. "You aren't some giggling school girl, you aren't some bubbly flirt, you don't act very... how do I put this... you aren't TOO feminine. You're cute enough- especially when you smile... but you're not what people generally consider cute. You don't fit the 'ideal' model- you're don't have Kasumi's innocence. You aren't a ditz like... say... someone like Azusa or Shampoo. You aren't subservient or child-like... you're too mature for me do consider you cute all of the time. I don't think I could have fallen in love with you like I did if you weren't..."

She snuggled closer to him. "Well, I guess I might not have fallen in love with someone who wasn't a bit of a pervert."

"Who is calling who a pervert? You're the one that seduced me," Ranma shot at her.

* * *

Genma looked up from play shogi when his wife entered their home. "What took you so long?

Soun quickly cheated thanks to the distraction.

"It would seem that Ranma's manliness has truly hurt some girls," Nodoka noted, ignoring what her husband's best friend was doing. "I had a chat with Ukyou and Shampoo."

Genma frowned. "What did you say to them?"

Nodoka frowned. "I tried to down play their feelings for Ranma. I know they love him, but it would not do well for them to obsess over him."

Genma laughed nervously. "Here I was afraid you'd suggest they should become his mistresses."

Soun scowled. "Akane nor I would appreciate that."

"I wouldn't do such a thing. Ranma taking on a mistress would be ill advised." Nodoka looked hurt at the accusation.

Soun nodded. "Good."

Nodoka continued, "We don't know if Akane is going to have a son yet. And if those girls were to be his mistresses now, they would try to be his wife. Once Ranma has a proper heir and Akane had gotten over her silly issues with jealousy, then he can take on mistresses who know their place. We don't want him to be with some home-wrecker after all, just a nice good female friend willing to offer a sympathetic ear and her body to help Ranma relieve his stress. Ukyou may be a good choice if she gets over her silly notions of wanting to be his wife."

Soun promptly fell over from shock.

* * *

Ukyou laid in bed, eyes open, staring at the ceiling. Had she been living in a dream that had become a nightmare? She had deluded herself into thinking Ranma loved her as much as she loved him. But he didn't love her. He loved someone else. She should have seen it sooner, but that would have destroyed 'her perfect world.'

She rolled to her side. Did Ranma ever really see her true self? Did she even know who was the real 'Ukyou?' Did she really want to have the 'perfect life' she had imagined, and end up like Kasumi? A subservient person to Ranma's wishes. She thought that was what he wanted because Akane wasn't like that.

Maybe that was the problem. Ranma chose Akane because she wasn't like that, that she would stand up to challenges his life brings to her. That one day, if he didn't come home, she would move on.

What about all that insanity in his life? Could Ukyou have lived with it? She would have tried. She loved him enough to put up with that craziness. But could Akane hold up to the craziness?

Ukyou sighed, knowing that answer. Yes, Akane could put up with it. The girl had been putting up with it since she met him.

What about what Nodoka said about whether she was really in love with Ranma, or was she just in love with the idea of being in love? No, she loved him. He meant everything to Ukyou. She just didn't mean as much to him as he did to her. Was it his fault he loved someone else? He could have at least attempted to try a relationship with her. But then, what if he did try and it didn't work out? Could they have been friends afterwards?

Why couldn't he have loved her? She was always there for him. If he needed help or someone to talk to, she was there.

Why was she even thinking about this? It didn't matter anymore. She was just going to have to learn how to live without him. There was one thing she could do first, though, and that was to get revenge on him for stringing her along like he did.

* * *

Nabiki muttered about curses about how crappy the day already was and it was just starting. She sloshed into class, soaked from pouring bitterly cold January rains. She really didn't like the longer amount of time it took to get to school from Nodoka's home. Seeing Kuno's bright cheery face this morning didn't help matters.

She sat down at her desk and opened her school bag. When she went to place a couple books into the desk, she felt something was in there. Something she did not remember putting there. She bent over to take a peek inside. Her eyes widen at what she saw. It took her a couple seconds to regain composure. She didn't remove it. Rather, she proceeded to empty her book-bag into her desk to keep anyone from seeing it. Once done, she noticed that Kuno's smile was much bigger and that he was failing rather badly at looking inconspicuous.

* * *

After school, in the auditorium of Furinkan High School, a large number of guys were in a meeting.

"Now that Akane has married Ranma, we must disband the Tendo Akane Fan Club. But, we can form a new club and set our goals on another girl," the guy at the podium announced. He pressed a button on the podium and a picture was displayed on the screen behind him. "This girl, Shampoo, is an Amazon. Unlike Akane, defeating her in battle will not get you a date with her, but married to her!"

"Why Shampoo? I think we should go after Ukyou," one of the guys retorted.

"Look at Shampoo! She is beyond cute. How could you prefer that cross-dresser?" another guy shouted.

"She doesn't have a homicidal maniac chasing away her suitors," answered yet another guy.

"Hey, what about Kodachi? She's gorgeous," one guy suggested before being thrown out.

"Let's put it to a vote. All in favor of Shampoo raise your hand," stated the guy at the podium. He quickly counted the hands. "Now, those in favor of Ukyou." After he finished counting, he announced, "Twenty-three votes for Shampoo and twenty-three votes for Ukyou. Hey, how can we have forty-six votes from forty-one people?"

"Simple, some of us just want to get a girl," a guy shouted.

The guy at the podium smacked himself in the head, and then his eyes got wide as an idea hit him. "I got it! We'll make two clubs. One club goes after Shampoo, and the other Ukyou."

Most of the guys nod in agreement. After hours of bickering and nit-picking the two clubs were formalized, the Get Married to Shampoo Club or GMSC and the Ucchan Fan Club.

* * *

Nabiki stayed late at school. She always found one thing or another to help her make money while there. This afternoon it was the formation of the two clubs designed to snare Ranma's ex-fiancees. The GMSC promised to be the more profitable of the two.

While making money was her normal reason to stay late at school, it was far from the only reason today. She didn't want anyone to see what someone had put in her desk. It was a couple hours after school and most of the sport teams were already on the way home. She decided now would be the time to get the item. She removed the books from her desk and placed them into her school bag. She then reached in and pulled out the item, a bouquet of red roses. She inhaled the aroma of the sweet pollen, bringing a smile to her lips. She noticed the card attached and read it.

_ To one whose beauty outshines the morning star, _  
_and whose cunning and intellect exceeds others by far._

_ with love,_  
_ Your Secret Admirer._

Nabiki couldn't stop laughing, "Secret admirer! Who's he kidding! Ranma could figure this one out." She breathed in the fragrance of the roses again. "Well, it is kind of sweet." She smiled as she carefully placed the roses into a large paper bag that she had brought with her. She left feeling that it had been a very good day.

* * *

A truck with Nerima Furniture written on its side sat in front of the Saotome/Tendo home. Two men stood at the front door and knocked. A disheveled looking girl that was awfully short to have such large breasts answered the door.

"What do you want?" the girl demanded.

The taller of the two men said, "We're here to deliver a futon couch to a Saotome Ranma."

She replied, "I'm him."

The delivery men blinked simultaneously.

"If you would sign here, we can bring it in," the shorter man said.

He handed Ranma a clipboard and pen. Ranma looked it over for a second before signing it.

An equally disheveled girl with short black hair entered the hallway and asked, "Ranma, who's at the door?

"It's the delivery men with our wedding present from my Mom," Ranma answered.

The other girl nodded. "Oh. Better clean up our room while they get it."

Ranma handed back the clipboard, "You can bring it upstairs."

The two men looked stupefied. They turned around and went to get the bed from the truck.

"Wedding present?" the taller man muttered, "Aren't they both girls?"

The shorter man mused, "Changing times I guess."

When they returned, they saw the same short-haired black girl helping a guy with wet and very muscular young man dressed exactly the same as the big-chested girl, move a mattress.

"You can put our futon in that room," Ranma said as he pointed.

They shook their heads in disbelief. Both silently agreeing that it would best to finish the job and leave.

* * *

Author's Notes:

How many of you doubt this chapter will be the only mention of Akari's old boy friend? Well, if you did doubt it, shame on you. He'll show up in volume 4.

For those who can't figure out who is Nabiki's secret admire. Tough! I won't tell you. I gave you more than enough hints.

Future volumes: Volume 2 - Reflections and Changes. Initial reactions of Ranma cast.

Volume 3 - Anything Goes Martial Dance Contest. Furinkan Junior/Senior 'Prom.'

Volume 4 - Substitute Teacher. Ranma's history teacher is sick, so a substitute is called in, Godai. How does everyone's favorite ronin turned teacher deal with Furinkan High. Also intro Akari's ex-boyfriend, Putafuji Hitochi, with this volume.


	9. Martial Arts Press Conference

**Ranma 1/2: The Insanity Continues**

**Volume 2 - Reflections and Changes**

**Chapter 2 - Martial Arts Press Conference**

_By: Lord Archive._

Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

Regarding the appearance of female Ranma: Originally it was due to naughty stuff going on in the dojo, a martial arts sex challenge with both of them girls. Which is part of my reason why I don't want to repost those adult side stories as it would be too soon for Akane to make that kind of challenge. How I see it now was Ranma and Akane had intended to take a break from love making by practicing marital arts by having a sparring match. Ranma being weaker in female form used that body to reduce risk of hurting Akane or the baby. Considering Ranma would be extra protective, instead of Akane getting punched, she was completely molested instead with Ranma remaining largely untouched the entire time. Saying they made love as girls would only be half true.

Regarding the Nodoka scene suggesting mistresses: That was the new scene, and no, I'm not responsible for that interpretation of her character. The cliche I was referring to is Nodoka-super-mom, who can whisk away all trouble with a motherly look. The problem with super-mom Nodoka ignores one basic thing: she's as insane as the rest of the cast.

Nodoka has crazy views of what would be manly, and in a country where the noble clans and the wealthy have a long history of having mistresses, it is NOT a stretch in her traditional Japanese nature that she would find mistresses an acceptable part of life, even for her husband. He was away for over ten years, after all. Nodoka's biggest concern would be that Genma would 'cheat' on her by actually being in love with another woman, as sex without love is not 'cheating.' Western cultures view both very much as cheating, but this story takes place in a traditional home in Tokyo, not the suburbs of New York or London. Different cultures, different views on life, sex, love, marriage, comedy, food, etc... And what characterization we have of her beyond her strange notions of manliness does follow a traditional role of women as home tenders (her attempts to make 'Ranko' be less of a tomboy) and being subservient to men (staying at home waiting over ten years for Genma and Ranma to return). If Nodoka was adverse to the idea of mistresses, wouldn't she have done something about Ukyou, Shampoo and Kodachi once she learned they were interfering in the proper engagement of Ranma and Akane? She did not protest, she did not try to correct the girls, she merely thought Ranma was manly for attracting so many beautiful girls. Nodoka was not raised in America or Europe, she was raised in Japan. By her very upbringing her ideas will reflect her culture. You may think it goes too far, you may think I didn't go far enough by not having Nodoka suggest being mistresses to the girls right then and there, and that is your right. Ranma 1/2 is a rich series that has been read by millions, and not everyone will have the same interpretations.

* * *

_BRING BRING BRING_

Akane lifted her head from her pillow. "Huh?"

_BRING_

Akane tried to bury her head into her pillow. "Phone. Ranma, can you get that?"

_BRING_

Akane reluctantly looked at her husband and saw that he was dead asleep. She shook him in an attempt to wake him.

_BRING_

He hugged her tightly.

Akane tried to free herself. "Stupid idiot! At least let go of me."

_BRING_

Whoever was calling was persistent. "I have to get the phone," Akane muttered as she tried to remove Ranma's arms from her.

_BRING_

"Guess I have to go with what works." Akane knocked him off the bed. With his arms still holding her, he brought her down to the floor with him.

_BRING_

They landed with a thud and his arms let go.

_BRING_

Akane leapt to her feet and ran to the phone.

_BRING BRING_

"Hello? Tendo residence." Akane said, after picking up the phone.

"About time you answered the phone, Sis," Nabiki answered from the other end of the line. "And that should be Saotome residence now."

Akane pouted. "Nabiki, why are you calling?"

"Two reasons: First, if you set your alarm last night, you would be up right now," Nabiki teased.

Akane looked at a clock. It was a quarter to eight. She wasn't pleased, they were already running late for school.

"Second, I wanted to know how you planned to deal with the rumor horde," Nabiki wondered.

"Um, haven't thought about them," Akane replied with a sense of dread.

"You know you're going to have to deal with them, otherwise, they'll come up with some of their own twisted rumors about what's happened," Nabiki taunted.

Akane really didn't like the question she was about to ask, "So, what do you suggest?"

"I suggest you two lovebirds hold a question and answer session after school today. I can go to school now and set it up so they won't pester you two with question until then," Nabiki answered.

Akane sighed. "It would help, I guess."

"Great, I'll make sure everything is set up. By the way, Kasumi should be back before you get home from school while your parents will be staying at Auntie's house. They'll be alternating between staying there and here. I'll see you at school. Bye." Nabiki quickly hung up the phone.

"Bye," Akane reflexively replied before hanging up the phone as well. She sighed, not surprised that they would come up with that kind of arrangement. She expected their parents would stay away for the next month or so. But, when the baby comes closer to being due, she wouldn't be able to get rid of them.

Akane rushed back into her room and found her husband was still asleep on the floor.

"Wake up!" she yelled, kicking him in the side.

Ranma rolled over and snored a little.

Akane grinned as she got an idea. "Maybe a kiss will wake the Stupid Prince."

She knelt next to him, leaned forward and kissed him. He responded by wrapping his arms around her and returning the kiss passionately.

Akane broke away and smiled at him. "Good morning."

It was only now that Ranma noticed he was on the floor. "Huh? What am I doing here?"

"You fell off the bed when I went to get the phone," Akane explained.

"Oh," he replied, looking a little confused. He didn't remember any phone ringing. Then he looked up at Akane and felt he had better things to do than worry about some phone call. He moved in for another kiss.

"Sorry." Akane held him away with a hand to his chest. "It's already almost eight o'clock, too late for that. We have to get ready for school... and you know if I start kissing you, I'm not going to stop for quite a while..."

"Can't we skip school?" Ranma asked, disappointed.

"And face whatever punishment Principal Kuno would have for us?" Akane warned.

Ranma sighed. "Uh... It probably would be bad. I guess not..."

Akane nodded. "Okay, now let go of me so we can get ready."

* * *

The cold rain of winter fell upon the students of Furinkan High as they made there way to school.

"You understand the plan?" asked a chemistry club member.

"Tis truly a simple plan for revenge against such a foul person as Saotome, that I, Kuno Tatewaki, can do nothing other than execute the plan without flaw!" He turned upon the student. "If it fails, however, you shall face my wrath!"

The student shrugged, how could it possibly go wrong? "Yeah, just lure Ranma to the sidewalk slab in front of you and the landmine will do the rest."

"I know what to do," Kuno said angrily.

"Here he comes!" shouted another chemistry club member.

The two chemistry club members ducked behind some bushes.

"Saotome Ranma, I, Kuno Tatewaki, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, the rising star of the Kendo school, challenge you for deceiving me with that foul curse," the young master of kendo intoned.

Ranma stopped several feet in front of Kuno. "I'm too tired to fight you right now. Akane has been keeping me awake."

"Ranma! Don't talk about that!" Akane shouted, blushing.

Ranma glanced at her in confusion. "Come on Akane. It's not like I said anything about our sex life."

"Ranma, you stupid JERK!" Akane attacked him with her school-bag.

Kuno became enraged. "You dare have sex with a pure flower such as Akane!"

Akane turned from her attack to look at Kuno disbelievingly. "Um, Kuno, we're married..."

Ranma chuckled. "Yes, we are. And, it'd be **__unnatural__** if we didn't have sex." He sidestepped Akane's school-bag, and playfully stuck his tongue out at his new wife. He jumped back, dodging her angry swings.

"YOU SHALL DIE FOR..." Kuno's shout was interrupted when he took a step forward.

_***BBBOOOOOMMM***_

"Kuno's into landmines now?" Ranma blinked.

Akane once again stopped her attack and turned to see the shattered, carbon-stained concrete. "He WOULD step on it, even if he did know about it."

"That idiot!" screamed one of the chemistry club members. "That egotistical pervert couldn't get that simple plan right!"

His companion glanced behind him, and started trembling. "Uh, that truly great and highly noble student is right behind you..."

"I'm going to feel such pain as I've never felt before," he said, looking at Kuno with his bokken at the ready.

* * *

Ranma's and Akane's last class before lunch was completely silent. The history teacher had given a nice, quiet reading assignment so as to not wake the two exhausted newlyweds who had succeeded in sleeping through ALL of the morning classes without interruption.

Over by Ranma's desk were a number of male students, each waiting to pester Ranma with questions once the bell rang. By Akane's desk was also a number of female students waiting to ask their own questions.

The teacher looked at them, hoping one of them would speak before the bell, just to enact his own twisted punishment on the students: writing twenty plus page reports due tomorrow. He would have punished Ranma and Akane for sleeping, if Ms. Hinako hadn't threatened him.

Once the bell rang the guys violently shook Ranma in an attempt to wake him.

Yuka tentatively shook Akane, saying, "Saotome-chan. Wake up, Saotome-chan."

Akane wearily opened her eyes and emitted, "Huh?"

"Wake up, Saotome-chan," repeated Yuka.

Akane slowly blinked her sleepy eyes and sat up, frowning. Hearing 'Saotome' she started looking around for Ranma, only to see that she was surrounded by girls, and they were asking for her. She shook her head, trying to clear it. "'Saotome-chan?'"

"Well, you are Mrs. Saotome now," Sayuri replied.

Akane nodded. "I'm just not use to that yet."

"So, are you going to tell us what's it like?" a girl asked.

Akane looked at her with a dazed expression. "Ah, what's what like?"

"Sex with Ranma," replied a girl, giggling.

Akane blushed, and shook her head furiously. "You expect me to answer that HERE? I don't think so! Besides, I thought Nabiki set up a question and answer session after school."

"Well, she did," the girl admitted. "But, she's asking for five hundred yen admission and not all of us can make it."

Akane was still shaking her head. "I'll try to get a transcript of it for the class tomorrow."

"Come on, Ranma, WAKE UP!" a guy screamed.

"He fell asleep, too?" Akane asked.

"Yeah, you two must have been keeping each other awake since the wedding," answered Yuka.

Akane blushed. "Hmm... How to wake him up?" she asked herself as she got up and walked over to where Ranma was sleeping. She got an idea after noting what time it was. "Sorry boys, but no questions until after school." She leaned down next to Ranma's ear and shouted, "LUNCH TIME!"

Ranma was immediately standing. "Lunch?" he questioned as he looked around room.

"You fell asleep during class. It's lunch hour now," Akane told him.

"They didn't wake me up?" Ranma asked, confused.

"Nah, Ms. Hinako threatened the other teachers if they did wake either of you two up, she'd drain there chi," answered Hiroshi.

"Either of us?" Ranma looked at Akane.

"You got more sleep than I did," Akane replied and then blushed.

"Oh, right." Ranma laughed nervously.

Akane grabbed her husband by the hand and dragged him out of the classroom. "Let's hurry up and buy our lunch. We need to talk about what to say at the question and answer session."

* * *

Over a third of Furinkan High showed up at the school auditorium for the question and answer session. Ranma and Akane stood off to the side of the stage, waiting for Nabiki to finish setting up the microphones.

Ukyou was among those attending. She was curious about how they would answer some of the questions.

"Are you sure about this?" Ranma asked, nervously.

"Would you rather have to answer them a hundred times or just once," Akane answered, nervously.

Ranma looked away."I'd rather not answer them at all..."

"Oh, would you rather let them come up with there own answers? Remember some of the rumors they've came up with in the past," Akane pointed out.

"I guess this is better," Ranma grumbled out.

On the auditorium speakers, Nabiki announced, "I thank you all for coming here and refraining from bothering Ranma and Akane. They will answer most of your questions, but they retain the right to refuse to answer certain ones." Several students expressed their displeasure. "Ranma, Akane, you have the floor."

"Hello," Akane said, nervously, "We will start taking questions." She looked around at several people waving their hands.

"Do you really love that idiot?" some guy shouted.

"Yes, I do," Ranma replied, smirking.

Akane smacked him in the arm. "He was asking me. And to answer the question, yes, I love him, even if I can't understand why."

"Did he use a love potion on you?" another guy cried out.

"No," Akane replied firmly.

"You're sure?" he insisted.

"Yes!" Akane shout back heatedly.

Ranma looked at someone waving their arm. "What's your question?"

A girl stood up. "How long have you've been in love with each other?"

"I fell in love with her from the start, though she didn't make it easy for me to realize it," Ranma answered.

Ukyou clenched her teeth. That jackass was in love with her all the entire time.

"I wish I could say the same, while I felt something for him at the start, my love for him developed gradually," Akane answered.

"Why did you string along your fiancees?" one girl accused.

"In the case of Shampoo, I guess she was a means to delay things. Ukyou, however, was more of someone to fall back on if Akane ever left me. If different things had happened, I might have married her," Ranma reluctantly admitted.

Ukyou wasn't pleased with the idea of being the consolation prize.

Ranma pointed at one student.

The boy asked, "Is Akane as violent in bed as she is in a fight?"

Ranma shook his head in disgust. "Next question."

"You," Akane pointed at a student.

"How long have you two been having sex?" a girl wondered.

"Can we please get off the topic of sex?" Akane asked angrily.

"NO!" replied everyone.

"Why don't you answer some of the general questions?" Nabiki asked. "They're going to pester you until you do."

Akane's grip on the podium cracked it. "Nothing specific."

"So, is Akane violent in bed?" the one boy repeated.

Ranma looked at Akane who reluctantly nodded. "No, she isn't violent, exactly... she's... well, I guess 'imaginative' would describe her..."

"Have you done it girl to girl?" one boy leered.

Ranma backed away a little as Akane replied, blushing, "We will not answer that!"

Most of the students noted their reaction and assumed they had done it.

"How long have you been having sex?" was repeated, but not by the same girl.

"A couple days," Akane admitted.

A couple groans and curses were heard from the crowd.

"Did you have sex before marriage?" one guy pressed.

"Er... next question." Akane failed to answer.

Many students grinned at the non-answer. One shouted, "Was she pregnant at the wedding?"

"Next question," Akane stated firmly.

"I'll answer that question," Ukyou shouted angrily. "Yes! Akane was pregnant before the wedding."

Ranma and Akane paled. The crowd went into a roar of commotion.

"U-Ukyou, why?" Ranma stammered, shocked.

"They should know the truth. The reason you married her was because the slut seduced you," Ukyou spat.

Akane started to glow blue.

"THAT IS NOT TRUE!" Ranma yelled. "WE MARRIED FOR LOVE! Her pregnancy only moved up the date. It didn't change the fact WE planned to get married our senior year. WE decided that even BEFORE having sex. The ONLY thing I regret about all of this is the pain I caused you and Shampoo. I should have made it clear that you WERE NOT going to marry me from the beginning. For that, I cannot apologize enough. I want to make this clear to all of you: I LOVE AKANE WITH ALL OF MY HEART AND THAT IS WHY I MARRIED HER!"

Akane's aura faded as she heard what Ranma said.

"Come on Akane, I've had it with their questions." Ranma grabbed her hand and stomped off the stage.

The crowd said nothing, they were stunned.

Ukyou watched Ranma and Akane leave. She saw her ex-fiance look at her, his face showed how hurt, angry, and betrayed he felt. She got what she had wanted, to hurt Ranma for hurting her. Yet now she felt even worse.

Nabiki rubbed her hands greedily. "All right time to collect your bets."

* * *

Ranma and Akane walked home in the rain. Ranma muttered to herself the entire time. Her wife followed closely lost in thought.

"We're home," Akane said absentmindedly as they entered their home.

"How was school today?" Kasumi asked politely.

"School was fine," Akane answered.

Ranma paid them no attention as she went to the dojo.

"Akane, what's wrong? Did you and Ranma have a fight?" Kasumi said noting the sorrowful look on her little sister.

"No. Ukyou told the school I'm pregnant," Akane growled out.

Kasumi gasped.

"I can't believe she did THAT!" Akane screamed angrily.

"Why would she do that?" Kasumi asked.

"Because she's... she's...a vengeful bitch!" Akane spat.

"Vengeful?" Kasumi asked.

"She's upset and hurt because I married Ranma," Akane answered, her anger waning.

Kasumi pouted. "You didn't mean to hurt her."

"Does it matter if we meant to or not?" Akane pointed out. "She's still in pain for losing him."

* * *

Nabiki enter the dining room with her school-bag and a brown paper bag. Ranma, Akane, and Mousse were sitting at the table. Nabiki set the bags to the side of the room and joined them.

Nabiki looked at Mousse, who was covered with bandages and bruises, asking, "What happened to you?"

Mousse glanced at Ranma and replied, "Training."

Nabiki shook her head. "Next time fake being sick when Ranma is mad."

"Somehow I don't think that'd work," Mousse commented.

"You train through illness. Your enemies don't care if you're sick," Ranma told them bitterly.

Akane shook her head. "Ranma, I know what Ukyou did hurt. She did it because she's in pain, and we caused it. I can understand why she did it."

"Who said anything about her?" Ranma hissed.

Akane closed her eyes. "She's the reason you're upset. You trusted her to keep that a secret, but she used it to hurt you because you had hurt her."

"I didn't mean to hurt her," Ranma said defensively.

Akane nodded. "I know that, but she is hurt and retaliated at us for causing it."

Ranma looked down at the floor. "You're not upset at her?"

"Of course I'm upset with her, but I understand why she did it. Think of what would've have happened if the roles were reversed and you married Ukyou," Akane suggested.

Ranma thought for a second and then shuddered. "At least a hospital trip for me, and you might have said the same thing about Ukyou."

Akane nodded gravely, she had thought about it since she got home and came to a similar conclusion.

Ranma, wanting to get off this topic of conversation, asked, "Nabiki, what's in the paper bag?"

"Just another present from a secret admirer," Nabiki replied.

"Secret admire?" Ranma asked, surprised.

"Of course I know who he is," Nabiki added with a slight grin.

"Who is it?" Akane chirped.

"Why don't I let you figure it out," Nabiki replied. "I'll be back in a second."

Ranma and Akane shared confused glances with Mousse.

Nabiki returned a moment later with a flower vase filled with some water, and placed it on the table. She pulled a bouquet of red roses from the bag and put them into the vase.

"Tell anyone about this, and I will send you through hell," Nabiki warned.

Akane saw a card hidden among the flowers and took it. She read: Of glorious beauty thou has indeed, and in my heart is placed love's seed.

A love from afar, Your Secret Admirer.

"So, he's chasing you again," Akane commented as Ranma snatched the card from her hand.

"Looks like it," Nabiki replied.

"This isn't who I think it is?" Ranma asked.

"And who do you think it is?" Nabiki returned.

"Kuno," Ranma replied simply.

Nabiki nodded. "Then you thought correctly."

Ranma started to laugh. "You have my sympathy."

Mousse quickly followed. "And mine."

Ranma began to laugh. "So, what are you going to do with him: swindle away his fortune or make it clear you want nothing to do with him?" He became confused when he saw Akane scowl darkly at him.

"Neither, I'm going to try and make the relation work," Nabiki answered matter-of-factly.

Ranma's and Mousse's jaws dropped to the table.

"Find it hard to believe that someone finds him attractive," Akane asked with a grin.

The guys nodded dumbly.

"What do you see in him?" Ranma asked.

"I don't know. There is something I like about him, and it's not his yen. But, that doesn't hurt, though," Nabiki answered.

"That something is love," Akane chirped in, squeezing Ranma's hand.

"What? Me love the dense, egotistical, pervert!" Nabiki denied.

"Gee, that sounds familiar," Mousse commented.

Akane and Mousse started laughing. Ranma shock his head.

Nabiki glared at Mousse. She wanted to change topics and asked him, "So, have you made arrangement on where you'll be staying?"

"Um, not yet. I, er, was going to ask if it'd be all right if I stayed here," Mousse answered.

"Of course you can stay here. You can use Ranma's old room, except when his parents visit, then we'll come up with some other sort of arrangement," Akane answered.

Mousse bowed toward her. "Thank you."

"You should do some things for us, considering you're being trained and given room and board," Nabiki added.

"I'll help around the house, and I can do some repair work," Mousse offered.

"That'll do for now," Nabiki replied.

"Why aren't you staying at the Neko-Hanten?" Ranma asked.

"I can't return until I defeat Shampoo," Mousse weakly answered.

"Why not?" Ranma pressed.

Mousse sighed. "Because Cologne won't allow it."

It was apparent there was more to this, but he also wasn't going to talk. They decided not to press the issue as Kasumi brought in dinner.

* * *

Ukyou returned home late in the evening to find that Konatsu had finished cleaning out what was left of the restaurant.

"Where have you been?" Konatsu asked, concerned.

"Wandering around," Ukyou replied, morbidly.

"Did you see Ranma and Akane?" Konatsu wondered.

Ukyou only nodded.

"So, what happened when you saw them?" Konatsu asked with concern.

Ukyou looked away. "I told the school Akane was pregnant."

"W-why did you do that?" Konatsu squeaked out in surprise.

"Because I wanted them to hurt, like they hurt me," Ukyou admitted.

Konatsu sighed. "Did it make you feel better?"

Ukyou shook her head.

"Revenge never makes someone feel better," Konatsu told her.

"Sure it can. I felt better after beating the crap out of Genma," Ukyou smiled weakly.

Konatsu pouted cutely. "That's because you hate him. You don't hate Ranma."

"But, now he hates me," Ukyou fretted.

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you. Upset at you, probably, but he doesn't hate you. They're your friends and they'll forgive you," Konatsu assured her.

"Am I?" Ukyou questioned desperately. "Am I still their friend? I hurt them. Do you have any idea how many problems they'll have at school because of what I said?"

Konatsu sagged. "I wouldn't know. But in terms of regaining their friendship, I suggest you apologize and try to help them at school."

Ukyou nodded as she walked off to her room.

* * *

Ranma laid in bed stroking Akane's hair. "Can love really be that blind?" he muttered.

"What was that?" Akane asked.

"I'm trying to figure out why Nabiki is in love with Kuno."

The girl in question was in the next room with headphones on as she was eavesdropping on them. They did not hear her retort, "I am not in love with him."

"Stranger things have happened. Look at me, I fell in love and married someone who changes sex with water, scared of cats, a 'man amongst men' which is the type of guy I usually hate, and has super-human abilities," Akane pointed out.

"Now Akane, you particularly like the first and last one," Ranma said with a perverted grin.

"I didn't know that I'd like that until recently," Akane retorted.

Nabiki's eyes bulged when she heard that. "My sister is a pervert!?"

"Still what could she possibly even like about him?" Ranma wondered.

"I've been asked that question thousands of times about you. My answer is 'I don't know.' There is something about you that I find undeniably attractive, something that goes beyond logical reasons," Akane explained.

"I guess love can be blind." Ranma chuckled. "I fell in love with an uncute, macho chick after all."

"Flattery will get you everywhere," Akane said with a perverted grin.

"Flattery? She calls that flattery? I'm going to have to talk with her." Nabiki switched her headphones to music considering she would need to use them to hear the noises that were rapidly growing louder from the next room.

* * *

Author's note: Thanks to David Tatum and Brent Neef for going over the original version, and thanks to everyone who have given reviews and comments over the years.

The comment of Akane liking that Ranma turns into a girl was originally meant to be as perverted as it sounds. I left it in as there are advantages to having an aqua-transexual as a spouse that has nothing to do with sex and to shock Nabiki. Ranma, having been in the body of a girl, knows about certain female issues other guys would be completely clueless about. He would be more understanding. Sure it is also not without problems, but Akane has always only known Ranma as being both a guy and a girl.


	10. Lessons

**The Insanity Continues**

**Volume 2 - Reflections and Changes**

**Chapter 3 - Lessons**

_By: Lord Archive_

Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

* * *

Ranma stood at the gates of Furinkan High, facing off against Kuno.

The elder student was glowing with a yellow battle aura. "You have befouled the bed chamber of the lovely goddess before taking her hand in marriage. You vile cur. I SHALL SMITE THEE!"

Before Ranma could say anything, Akane reminded him, "Keep your mouth shut." She knew he might just make a comment of Kuno's latest love interest.

Nabiki glared at Kuno coldly.

Ranma knocked out cold his opponent in a second, and continued towards class followed by his pregnant wife.

Nabiki grabbed Kuno and dragged him to the nurse's office, muttering, "Pathetic."

* * *

Ranma and Akane made their way to their classroom, fully aware of the comments made about them as they passed.

"He certainly didn't waste time." "Mr. and Mrs. Pervert." "Can you believe she's pregnant?" "It's the slut." "They're so lucky."

"Can't they mind their own business?" Ranma muttered angrily.

"You should know the answer to that," Akane replied bitterly.

When they entered their classroom, they saw a wall of students, all asking questions. Most wanted to know if Akane was really pregnant.

Akane shook her head at the sight. "Yes, I'm pregnant. So what?" she snapped.

The class fell silent.

"Oh, Akane, congratulations!" Yuka elated.

"Didn't take long for her to get pregnant, did it?" Hiroshi commented.

"Nope," replied Daisuke, counting money. "I'm glad it didn't."

Hiroshi smirked. "Won the bet I see."

Daisuke nodded. "Yep."

"So, how far into the pregnancy are you?" Sayuri asked.

Akane was flushed by the sudden good outpouring of affections from her female classmates. "Six days," Akane replied.

"Six days?" the female students questioned.

"Cologne can detect pregnancy even at it's earliest stages," Akane answered.

"Six days down, nine months to go," a girl commented.

"You're certainly a stud, Saotome. Getting her pregnant so quickly, and all," a guy commented.

Before anymore comments were made the bell rang and Ms. Hinako arrived in her childlike body. "All right students, sit down." She noticed she was being ignored and stepped between Ranma and Akane, pulling out a fifty-yen coin. "I SAID SIT DOWN!" She blinked, because of the sudden dust cloud that used to be a wall of students. By the time she could see clearly only Ranma and Akane weren't seated.

Ranma and Akane quickly moved to their seats.

"Oh, Akane," Ms. Hinako said. "I hear congratulations are in order."

Akane blushed. "Er... Thanks."

* * *

Ukyou watched Ranma and Akane eating lunch from a distance. She could tell they were upset with her about what she said yesterday. Both of them had been avoiding to look at her. She didn't blame them, she did the same thing to them the day before.

Ukyou was surprised that a good number of students were encouraging Akane and congratulating her about the pregnancy. She was also upset at those that ridiculed Akane about it, and even tore down some defamatory notes.

Ukyou sighed as she picked at her lunch. Part of her wanted to apologize, but doubted they would accept it. It didn't help that she still couldn't stand them being together. He married the wrong girl.

Ukyou shook her head. She knew it was a lost cause. Ranma was married and going to be a father. She should accept that and move on with her life. After all she could still be friends with him. She just had to apologize... eventually.

* * *

"Hello, I'll be with you in a moment," Dr. Tofu greeted Ranma and Akane as they arrived for her appointment.

The young couple sat in the waiting room. After a moment Dr. Tofu ushered out an elderly patient and announced, "I can see you now, Akane. Ranma, you should wait here."

Ranma grumbled while Akane went into the office.

"How have you been feeling?" Dr. Tofu asked.

"Perfectly fine," Akane replied.

"How have you been feeling emotionally?" Dr. Tofu pressed.

Akane shrugged weakly. "I guess I've been feeling the full range of emotions."

"Why's that?" Dr. Tofu wondered.

"Between fear of the future and happiness of marriage. Having people at school either ridicule me or encourage me about the pregnancy," Akane explained.

Dr. Tofu frowned. "They know about that?"

Akane sighed. "Ukyou told them."

Dr. Tofu shook his head. "Akane, now about the pregnancy, how far into it are you?"

"Almost a week," Akane answered.

"I see," Dr. Tofu said, holding his hand to his chin while deep in thought. "I had planned to give you a pregnancy test just to make sure, but it might come up negative for a couple more days still. I'll give you that test next Friday."

Akane nodded.

"I'd still like to run some tests. They'll just be to check for possible complications," Dr. Tofu informed.

* * *

"Hi, Kasumi," Nabiki greeted as she arrived late from school, carrying yet another brown bag.

"Hello, Nabiki. More flowers?" Kasumi returned as she dusted the phone stand, eyes darting nervously toward the kitchen.

"Nope," Nabiki replied. She pulled out a cute little dolly.

"How cute," Kasumi's normal pleasantness was somehow missing.

Nabiki frowned. "Kasumi, what's wrong?"

Kasumi didn't answer as she cast a worried glance towards the kitchen.

A dread filled Nabiki when she realized a disaster was brewing.

"Akane, STOP!" Ranma was heard screaming.

"Why?" Akane shouted.

"Look what you're putting into the food," Ranma barked.

"Oil. That's what the recipe calls for," Akane shot back.

"But that's motor oil," Ranma pointed out heatedly.

"Motor oil? Why is there motor oil in the kitchen?" Akane questioned.

Kasumi face was locked in fear.

"Come on Kasumi, let's go out to eat," Nabiki suggested firmly.

"B-but my kitchen..." Kasumi stammered.

"It's their kitchen now. They can destroy it if they want," Nabiki reminded.

"B-but my kitchen..." Kasumi repeated as she was dragged out of the house.

* * *

It took a while for Nabiki to get Kasumi to the restaurant. The eldest Tendo sister kept insisting that she should be home in case something went wrong.

Nabiki wouldn't have any of it, and practically dragged her sister all the way there.

Kasumi looked at the restaurant, The Otaku Bar and Grill, and asked, "Why are we eating here?"

"I've got a coupon for a buy-one meal get one free," Nabiki replied.

Kasumi nodded. "Oh."

They entered the restaurant and initially had trouble being seated. Nabiki wasn't liking having to wait and asked to see the manager. When she stated her name, they were promptly seated.

Kasumi sat at the table fidgeting.

Nabiki knew she had to distract her from thinking about what their younger sister was doing to the kitchen. "So, Sis, what are you going to do about the good doctor?"

"Dr. Tofu?" Kasumi sighed. "I don't know. He just gets so... so silly around me."

"Love just drives him crazy," Nabiki teased.

"Is it really love? Ranma and Akane don't act like that towards each other," Kasumi observed.

"We each express our love in our ways. Dr. Tofu goes wacky, Ranma insults her, Akane hits him, I charge less interest," Nabiki explained.

Kasumi gazed at her. "So, how much interest do you charge Kuno?"

Nabiki folded her arms. "Standard interest, of course."

"Considering he's rich, that shows a lot," Kasumi commented knowingly.

Nabiki glared. "What's that suppose to mean?"

"That you love him," Kasumi replied.

"I do not," Nabiki denied.

Kasumi gave her a knowing smile.

Nabiki didn't like how much she was sounding like Akane. For some reason everyone started insisting that she was in love with Kuno. Which was ridiculous. Why would she love that idiot. Her frown deepened, even her thoughts sounded like her little sister. She shook her head, wanting to get off that line of discussion. "Now back to talking about the doctor, how do you feel about him?"

"I'm not sure. I guess I like him a lot," Kasumi admitted.

"Is that why you're always borrowing his books?" Nabiki insinuated.

Kasumi blushed a little. "I think so."

"So, is this love?" Nabiki tried to tease out.

"I don't think so," Kasumi mustered her best denial.

Nabiki eyed Kasumi critically. Not believing that for a second.

Kasumi pouted. "You don't believe me?"

"Nope," Nabiki deadpanned.

"See, trying to deny it doesn't work," Kasumi pointed out.

Nabiki chuckled dryly. "Well, I can't deny that one... Okay, MAYBE I do feel more for him than I'm saying... For now, though, I don't think I do. Okay?"

Kasumi nodded. "If you say so."

Nabiki was thankful as their waiter arrived with their food. She hoped they could move off the topic of what she felt for Kuno.

"Do you think Akane will have a boy or a girl?" Kasumi asked.

Nabiki picked at her food for a second. "Honestly, I think it'll be both a boy and a girl."

Kasumi frown. "You think the curse is inheritable?"

"Considering everything that happens to them, yes," Nabiki replied.

Kasumi didn't immediately comment. "They do seem to have an interesting life."

"I've experienced more things than most people will in their entire life, and I haven't seen a tenth of the adventures Akane has, let alone Ranma. I hope she knows what's she got herself into," Nabiki groused.

"She does. Auntie Saotome asked her after the wedding attempt if she really wanted to marry Ranma and the insanity he brings with him," Kasumi informed.

Nabiki sighed. "I regret I stopped that wedding. I thought Dad bribed Akane into marrying Ranma, but she made it painfully clear the only one being bribed at the time was Ranma."

"You didn't know what China did to her," Kasumi reminded.

"I should have asked or found out. I did something without first obtaining all the information, and that's an error I should've never done," Nabiki berated herself.

"We all make mistakes," Kasumi said assuring.

Nabiki shrugged. "I guess."

* * *

The elder two Tendo sisters had finished their dinner with some idle chatter, and were now walking home. Thankfully to Nabiki, little of the idle chatter concerned love interests. Kasumi's insistence that she loved Kuno was starting to annoy her. She would be happy to get home and work her daily accounting of her profits.

"This would be a good night to walk with a loved one," Kasumi commented.

"Are you still pushing that? You're getting as bad as Dad and Ranma's parents," Nabiki griped.

Kasumi shook her head. "I was just commenting how it's such a nice night."

"Yeah, whatever." Nabiki guessed that now with Akane and Ranma married, they would be picking on her. An idea flashed through her head. "Why don't you ask Dr. Tofu to go for an evening stroll?"

Kasumi pouted. "I can't. If I ask him, he'll just grab Betty-chan and dance around town."

"We're going to have to cure the good doctor of his silliness," Nabiki noted.

"I wish I knew hooOouch..." Kasumi said as she tripped on the sidewalk and fell awkwardly.

Nabiki immediately moved to help her sister. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. I just hurt my ankle a little," Kasumi replied with a slight wince as she tried to move her foot.

"Hmm... You should see Dr. Tofu about that," Nabiki said with a devious grin.

"It's not that bad." Kasumi waved the suggestion off. "Besides, he'd never be able to control himself."

"Now Kasumi, this is best opportunity to help him with his problem," Nabiki pointed out.

Kasumi looked confused. "How is that?"

"That doctor goes nuts when he sees you, but in order to help you he'll have to touch you. And, he'd never hurt you. Right?" Nabiki spelled out.

Kasumi nodded.

"So, if you come as a patient he'll have to stay in control, or he'd hurt you. I'm willing to bet he'd stay in control," Nabiki wagered.

Kasumi paused in thought. "Do you really think it'd work?"

"Yes. Now let me help you get to Dr. Tofu's." Nabiki helped her older sister up to her feet and guided her toward the clinic.

* * *

Dr. Tofu was cleaning up his office after his last customer had left when he heard a knock at the door. He wondered who it could be as he opened the door and saw the girl of his dreams, looking rather sheepishly, leaning on Nabiki. "K-Kasumi, what a surprise to see you here of all places."

"Dr. Tofu, Kasumi HURT her ankle and you NEED to examine it," Nabiki ordered.

"Oh my, you hurt your ankle. Come with me," Dr. Tofu picked up Kasumi and carried her to the examination bed. He placed her carefully on it and studied her ankle.

Kasumi was blushing the entire time.

"Does this hurt?" Dr. Tofu asked.

Kasumi nodded. "A little."

Dr. Tofu walked over to the counter and picked up a bandage. He then started to wrap the woman's hurt ankle. "It's a light sprain. You should avoid putting pressure on it for a few days." Dr. Tofu looked up at her not believing he was actually talking normally to her, only now realizing just what he had done.

"Thank you, doctor." Kasumi smiled her thanks feeling things were going well, until his glasses fogged over.

"K-Kasumi, it was my pleasure." Dr. Tofu closed his eyes trying to hold onto his control. He clenched his fists, trying to retain what little control he had as he finally stammered, "I-I w-was w-won-d-dering if-if y-y-you w-w-w-would g-g-g-g-go o-o-o-o-o-out w-w-w-w-w-with m-m-m-m-m-m-me-me S-S-S-S-S-S-S-Sa-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-tur-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-day?"

Kasumi smiled brightly. "I'd love to."

For a moment Dr. Tofu stared at her in shock, and then he ran over to a skeleton. "Betty-chan did you hear that? She wants to go out with me!" he elated, dancing out of his clinic with the skeleton in his arms.

Kasumi shook her head, praying the date would go well and he could stay in control of himself.

"So, the plan worked," Nabiki commented as she entered the room.

Kasumi looked at her sister with a big smile on her lips. "Yes. Yes, it did."

* * *

Kasumi leaned on her sister as they returned home. She couldn't wait for her date with Dr. Tofu, and hoped he could control himself. Her smile, the one that she wore since leaving the clinic, dropped a little when she noticed the eerie silence of her home.

Nabiki was also unsettled by the quiet and knew where the source would likely be.

They carefully walked toward the kitchen and peeked inside. The kitchen was a complete mess. No real surprise there. In the middle of the kitchen sat Ranma and Akane glaring at each other. Not much of a surprise, either.

Kasumi shook her head, they had been doing so good. Nabiki frowned at this, she hoped that they wouldn't have to worry about major repair bills for a while. They were startled by a noise from the two in the kitchen. The newlyweds were laughing.

"You look pretty silly," Akane snickered.

"Look who's talking," Ranma replied, flinging some food(?) at Akane.

"Too bad this stuff really isn't edible. It would've been fun to clean off if it was," Akane commented with a perverted grin.

"I can think of some fun ways to get clean," Ranma returned with his own perverted grin.

"But my way would've been funner." Akane faked a pout.

Ranma moved to stand up. "True, we'll have to try that later. We'll get Mousse to clean the kitchen, now let's go take a bath."

"Yes." Akane grinned.

"You two go have your fun. I'll clean the kitchen," Kasumi interrupted with a motherly smile.

Ranma and Akane blushed a deep shade of red.

"Now Kasumi, remember the doctor's orders: keep pressure off your foot and date him tomorrow. We'll get Mousse to clean this," Nabiki corrected.

Akane's eyes widen. "You've got a date with Dr. Tofu?"

Kasumi nodded.

"About time," Ranma commented.

"Yeah, the same can be said about you two. Now go have your fun. I'll go find Mousse," Nabiki retorted.

"He's in the dojo," Ranma informed.

"Go on you two, have your fun," Kasumi insisted.

Akane grabbed her husband's hand. "You heard them, let's go."

"Who would have thought, peace in our own time," Nabiki commented.

"Make love, not war," Kasumi added.

Nabiki eyed Kasumi suspiciously, "Just how far do you plan on going on your date?"

"Nabiki! I wouldn't do anything that wasn't proper," Kasumi retorted, pleasantly.

Nabiki smirked. "And whose view of being 'proper' are you referring to?"

Kasumi shook her head. Nabiki was going to tease her by twisting whatever she said to her own wishes. She found she was actually liking it, though. Nabiki was treating her more like a sister than the mother that she had been for them.

* * *

Shampoo arrived at Furinkan High just before the Saturday classes ended. She wanted to deliver her great-grandmother's message to Akane without the possibility of seeing Mousse. When the bell rang she scanned the students leaving the school watching for signs of Ranma, for where ever Ranma was, so was Akane.

Shampoo was startled when she heard several battle cries erupt from the main entrance of the school. She saw almost two dozen students rushing out of the school and racing towards her.

"Shampoo, my love shall defeat you!" "Defeat for marriage!" "I love you!" "My love shall knock you out!"

Shampoo's eyes took a predatory gleam. "Stupid boys think they can defeat me. I show them who is greatest Amazon fighter of her generation." She launched herself into the fray, dodging attacks and sending her new would-be suitors to unconsciousness.

"Love knock-out pu..." a guy wearing boxing gloves cried out before going unconscious from Shampoo's blow to the head. He was the last one to fall.

"Hmpf," Shampoo snubbed. "Mousse imitations, not even make me break a sweat. Need much more training." She turned around when she heard some people laughing.

"So, there going after you now." Akane giggled. "But, this seems to be only half the group."

"The other half is going after Ukyou," Hiroshi informed.

Ranma rolled his eyes.

Akane shook her head, believing they would never learn.

Shampoo raised an eyebrow. "What going on?"

"This was half of the 'Tendo Akane Fan Club,'" Akane said with obvious disgust. "But, seeing as I married Ranma, I guess they set their sights on you and Ukyou."

"Aiya! No want leftovers, especially from pervert girl," Shampoo spat out.

"What do you want anyway, Shampoo?" Akane asked angrily.

"Great-grandmother want to see pervert girl," Shampoo informed.

Akane pouted. "What for?"

"Great-grandmother need to inform pervert girl about Amazon laws," Shampoo explained.

"I'll see her after I visit Dr. Tofu," Akane reluctantly agreed.

Shampoo nodded as she got onto her bicycle and left.

Ranma blinked. He had seen Shampoo and she had not registered his presence. He half expected the Amazon to tackle-hug him as soon as she saw him, but she hadn't even looked at him. He then shrugged. At least he didn't have to worry about Akane hitting him. But, something still felt wrong about Shampoo's lack of attention.

Akane's anger subsided when she realized that Shampoo had avoided looking at Ranma. And guessed the girl really was hurting about losing Ranma. The Amazon couldn't even say her name... actually that was nothing new.

* * *

Nabiki didn't have to wait for the school to empty before removing today's present, a single red rose. She could easily hide it from view.

Nabiki wondered if he was going stingy of her. She eyed the card attached to it, a smile crept across her face as she read it.

_ Oh cunning, beauteous one,_  
_ I cannot bear to sit alone._  
_ My heart yearns for thee._  
_ Would you meet me by the tree,_  
_ by the field racers run,_  
_ at the setting of the sun?_

_ -Hopefully soon to no longer be_  
_ just a Secret Admirer of thee._

Nabiki would later be thankful no one was in the classroom as she could not contain her joy at being asked for a date. She immediately began to think about what she should wear.

* * *

Dr. Tofu was going over Akane's results as the newlyweds looked at him in expectation. "Good news. Nothing to report from the initial tests that I ran. I'll be able to give you more information from the other tests next week."

Akane and Ranma nodded.

Dr. Tofu continued, "I'd like to talk to you about some of the things to expect about the pregnancy. First, in about three weeks you'll start to experience what is called morning sickness..."

Ranma's mind shut off as he watched Dr. Tofu go into a long winded discussion of pregnancy, occasionally he would hand Akane a pamphlet. By the end of it, she had about two dozen. Ranma hadn't responded to the entire discussion until Akane waved her hand in front of his face.

"Huh?" Ranma emitted.

"Jerk! You zoned out. How much of the discussion did you even listen too?" Akane angrily asked.

Ranma tried to think quickly, trying to decide on truth or lie. He sighed, either way meant pain. "None of it."

Akane shook her head, sighing. "At least you're honest about it... Okay, you're going to have to read these pamphlets, though if you'd paid attention you wouldn't have to."

Ranma was stunned his wife did nothing more to him than just throw the stack of information packets at him.

"Now, let's go to the Neko-Hanten. The sooner we're done, the sooner we can go on our date," Akane growled out.

"Date?" Ranma asked, surprised.

Akane glared death. "Don't tell me you forgot about taking me out on a date?"

Ranma quickly searched his memory concerning asking his wife out for a date. The Imprisonment Gem! "No... no, I didn't forget about OUR date. But... between us having sex for the first time, finding out you were pregnant, us getting married, our honeymoon, and that press conference Nabiki arranged for us, I've kinda forgotten what date TODAY is. Also, with that punishment thing, I was... well... I thought you didn't want to go out after that."

"Why wouldn't I?" Akane was visibly shaking with anger.

"I-I-I don't know..." Ranma held up his hands in a warding gesture. "I... well... why are we still here?" He asked, trying to regain some of his composure. "The sooner you've finished with the old ghoul, the sooner we can go on our date."

Akane's anger relented. "Okay, let's go."

Ranma smiled as he grabbed his wife's hand and led her out of the clinic.

A smile touched Akane's face. It was hard for her to not punch Ranma through a wall, but if she had, any chance for the date later in the evening would have been nil. She had given her husband a chance to talk his way out of it, and was only a little disappointed about what he said. She hoped this would get easier though, he still had that annoying foot-in-mouth habit.

Ranma was happy. He had somehow avoided getting hit by Akane. She actually gave him the chance to talk rather than hit him. He could tell he came very close to gaining another flying lesson. He wished he knew how to avoid saying the wrong thing, like questioning her reference about the date. Then she might not need to fight to control her anger... at least not as often.

* * *

Shampoo sat at a table in the corner of the Neko-Hanten with several books detailing Amazon law. Cologne was still working in the kitchen, dealing with the remnants of the lunch rush.

When the newlyweds entered the restaurant holding hands, Shampoo immediately started to study one of the books.

"Hi, Shampoo, old ghoul," Ranma greeted.

"Greetings, Honor Elder. Greetings, Shan Pu," Akane greeted with a bow.

This caused Cologne and Shampoo to stare at her.

"I've been talking to Mousse about some of the Amazon customs," Akane answered their unspoken question.

"Ah, well, I'd like Shampoo teach you the ways of a true Amazon," Cologne told her.

"Why does I have to teach pervert girl?" Shampoo demanded.

"Because you need to refresh your memory of Amazon laws. This foreign life threatens to corrupt you," Cologne answered in Chinese.

"All right. I will teach pervert girl," Shampoo replied.

Akane shock her head. Here she was willing to learn about Amazon laws and culture, yet Shampoo was insulting her and Cologne was speaking in Chinese. She was going to have to learn how to speak it. She reminded herself, in an attempt to keep from getting angry, that she was doing this to prevent further problems of the Amazon variety.

Ranma was annoyed to find out that they wouldn't let him learn any of the laws because he was a man, but soon he felt some relief as he realized it meant he wouldn't need to sit through another 'class.' Between learning how to deal with a pregnant wife, learning how to deal with his classmates, and just plain learning at school, he found that he already had more than enough to study for.

Ranma sat at a table eating. He grew impatient after he polished off three bowls.

"So, old ghoul," Ranma began as he caught a plate that was tossed at his head.

"Don't call me that. Refer to me as your wife does," Cologne chastised.

"Whatever, old ghoul," Ranma failed to correct.

Cologne shook her head, there was no teaching him about social graces. "What do you want?"

"I, ah, was wondering... what can you tell me about the baby?" Ranma asked.

Cologne shrugged. "Not much. Just that it's there and healthy."

"That's good to know at least," Ranma answered, somberly.

"Unsure of the future, are you?" Cologne guessed.

Ranma looked away. "Maybe."

"I'm sure you and Akane will do fine. Look at how much your father screwed up, and you turned out fine," Cologne assured him jokingly.

Ranma failed to laugh. "Oh, that magic you used on my wedding ring actually works. It fits snugly in either form."

"You doubted it?" Cologne wondered.

Ranma gave a shallow nod. "I have plenty of reasons to distrust if magic will work."

Akane was getting bored from listening to Shampoo's lesson in Amazon laws. The only thing she really caught so far was that she wouldn't be a true Amazon until she competed in the annual tournament. This gave Akane over a year to decide if she wanted to actually be an Amazon.

"...That all Amazon women must learn bakusai tenketsu," Shampoo continued in her lesson.

"Why would I need to learn breaking point?" Akane asked.

"The reason to learn technique is to increase resistance to damage. This helps prevent possibly injury during pregnancy. Learning technique would've been good idea, if pervert girl wasn't already pregnant," Shampoo answered.

"Why can't I be trained now, before I'm too far into the pregnancy?" Akane wondered.

Shampoo looked down at the girl. "Means of training may cause injury which result in miscarriage."

"Oh... Um, Shampoo, can we continue this later?" Akane questioned.

Shampoo shrugged. "Guess so."

"How about next Saturday?" Akane suggested.

Shampoo nodded. "That be fine."

Ranma attention was drawn to Akane as she got up from the table. "Can we leave now?"

"Anxious for our date are we?" Akane asked critically.

"Yep," Ranma replied.

Shampoo muttered something unpleasant in Chinese.

Akane smiled. "So am I."

* * *

Author's Note: Thanks to David Tatum and Brent Neef for going over the original version of this chapter, and thanks to all who gave me suggestions and comments.

The idea of Kasumi's hurt ankle can be traced to Nabiki's suggestion to Kasumi to fake an injury in M. A. MacKinnon's "Doors Best Left Unopened" The 'kitchen aftermath' scene, however, was plotted before I read that story so similarities were coincidental.


	11. Saturday Nights are for Dating

The Insanity Continues

Volume 2 - Reflections and Changes

Chapter 4 - Saturday Nights are for Dating.

Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

* * *

"Hello, Ranma, Akane," Mousse greeted the newlyweds as he swept the sidewalk of the Saotome-Tendo home.

"Hi," they returned.

"Akane, your sisters want to see you in Nabiki's room," Mousse informed her.

"Thanks," Akane said as she left the guys and entered the house.

"Um, Mousse, I'm going on a date tonight with Akane, and I'd like some help in figuring out where to go," Ranma asked sheepishly.

"Well, sensei," Mousse said with an edge of sarcasm. "I could tell you some of the things I've overheard people say about their dates." It was amazing what one can learn working at a restaurant and while having to rely on hearing rather than sight to determine who ordered what. Too bad he had paid attention only after he had a date with Shampoo.

Ranma nodded.

Mousse raised a finger. "First, take her someplace nice to eat. Anywhere which serves good food and has friendly service will do, some place like the Ucchan's or the Neko-Hanten would do, though, for reasons which should be obvious, those two would NOT be a good idea right now..."

Ranma nodded, trying to think of a good place to go.

"Then, go and do something fun. Movies are good, but only if you both like the same type of movie... OR if you plan on keeping each other too busy to watch it," Mousse teased.

At the implications of that statement, Ranma flushed a bit.

Mousse let him burn with embarrassment for a few seconds before taking some pity on him. "You might try something like miniature golf. If you two decide to compete though... I'd suggest you let her win."

"In Shampoo's case it's the opposite, though, she'd love it if her man is better than her." Ranma had frowned a little at Mousse's last suggestion. He knew Akane would really like it if she defeated him in something, besides card games.

Mousse considered that for a second and then shrugged. Ranma was probably correct, he had realized that himself some time ago, but that was something to be stored away for later. Akane wouldn't appreciate being constantly reminded of Ranma's athletic superiority. Mousse continued, "But Akane wouldn't. I suggest you finish off the date with something moderately romantic, some people like taking their dates out on boat rides, but with your curse, that's probably not a good idea. Maybe a stroll through the park."

Ranma nodded. "Thanks Mousse"

* * *

Akane entered Nabiki's room and saw that both of her older sisters were getting ready for a night on the town. "What are you getting dressed up for, Nabiki?"

Nabiki smiled wryly as she tossed Akane a small card.

"He asked you out? Didn't take him long," Akane commented.

"Nope, but Kuno-chan is a bit of the impatient type," Nabiki replied.

"So, Akane, where is Ranma taking you out tonight?" Kasumi asked.

"Dinner and a movie, I think," Akane answered.

"Nothing fancy?" Nabiki asked.

Akane shrugged. "Well anything fancy would be a drain on our money supply, not to mention that he would probably embarrass the hell out of me."

"Two very good points, Sis," Nabiki said. "Though, if Kuno-chan doesn't do anything fancy, I'll be very disappointed."

"I wonder if he's going to take you someplace nice and private," Akane teased.

"If he does, Nabiki, promise me you won't do anything improper," Kasumi added.

"Depends on whose view of proper you're talking about," Nabiki replied.

"Nabiki!" Kasumi said firmly.

Akane giggled.

* * *

Dr. Tofu nervously approached the Neko-Hanten. All of his plans to remain in control around Kasumi had, so far, failed. Now was the time to ask for help. He arrived, seeing that Cologne was serving a few customers.

"Hello, Doctor. What can I get for you?" Cologne greeted.

"I was wondering if you could help me with a little problem I have?" Dr. Tofu asked nervously.

"Would this be your problem of wooing a certain girl," Cologne smirked.

"Yes. Whenever I see her, I can't think straight. It's been getting better... but I have a date with her tonight," Dr. Tofu admitted.

"Ah, but why should I help you? You've been an annoyance to me in the past, helping Ranma avoid marrying Shampoo," Cologne admonished.

"I'm a doctor and he needed help, so I helped. I could not, in good conscious, stand by and let anyone go through some of the things you put him through, even if I thought they were of good intention." Which Dr. Tofu didn't. "I would consider this a big favor that I'd owe you."

"Oh, and what sort of limit would this 'big favor' have?" Cologne wondered.

"Anything as long as it wouldn't hurt or kill anyone," Dr. Tofu promised.

Cologne grinned. "What if the favor was to help the Amazon village if it was under attack?"

"I would help with the wounded and help defend them," Dr. Tofu replied.

"Good enough. I'll see what I can do. Wait here," Cologne said as she began her search.

Dr. Tofu frowned. He couldn't help but wonder if there was some sort of trouble that made the elderly amazon worry about her home village.

* * *

Nabiki tapped her foot. She hated to wait, even if she was early. She thought maybe it was more than being impatient, she banished that thought. Who would be anxious to see Kuno?

The sun set the sky aglow with shimmering red, orange, and yellow as it started to dip below the horizon.

"The beauty of the sky is a canvas painted by the gods, themselves. But, that is trivial to the wondrous creature before me," Kuno elated.

How did he do that? Nabiki cursed herself as her heart suddenly sped up. She took a second before calmly saying, "Hello, Kuno-chan."

Kuno bowed. "My heart, doth leap at your acceptance of meeting me."

"Well, I had nothing else to do tonight," Nabiki replied.

Kuno frowned as he asked, "Shall we go, your carriage awaits?"

"Certainly." Nabiki couldn't help but smirk that he literally meant a horse driven carriage.

* * *

"Hey, Doc," Ranma greeted at the front door as Dr. Tofu arrived in a form fitting suit and roses in hand.

"Hello. Do you know if Kasumi is ready?" Dr. Tofu asked.

Ranma raised an eyebrow, noticing the doctor did not stutter, nor were his glasses showing signs of fogging. "Aw, you know how girls are, they take their time to get anything done."

The door of his home opened, and Ranma felt the back of Akane's hand on his head. "We do not," she retorted. She wasn't surprised nor pleased that Ranma hadn't gotten dressed up for the date.

Ranma looked up at Akane. She was wearing a red dress with a matching jacket. "You actually look good," he commented.

"And I don't look good all the time?" Akane replied with a hint of anger.

"Er, of course you look good, ah, all the time. It's just you look better than usual," Ranma said, attempting to keep Akane from getting angry.

It somehow worked. "You really think so?" she asked, doing a spin to show the entire dress.

"Yeah," Ranma said with a relieved expression.

Dr. Tofu watched with a grin on his face. His expression turned to awe as he saw Kasumi come into view. "You're beautiful," he said clearly.

Akane thought for a second he was talking to her until he saw that the doctor's eyes were not looking at her. She was surprised, as everyone else was, that Dr. Tofu hadn't shown his usual signs of love-sickness.

Kasumi smiled brightly as she exited the house wearing a long blue dress and a white jacket. "Thank you. And you look rather handsome yourself."

"Thank you. These are for you." Dr. Tofu handed his date a bouquet of red roses.

"Oh, thank you, I'll put these in a vase. I'll be right back." Kasumi rushed off with a smile larger than even Akane could remember.

"So Doc, how come you aren't acting... um..." Ranma asked.

"Goofy? Stupid? Out of control?" Dr. Tofu asked.

"Um... yeah," Ranma replied.

"Well, I asked Cologne for some help and got a potion that moves my reactions to someone a little more negative than normal. By loving Kasumi a little less, I can stay in control." Dr. Tofu pouted. "But, if I run into someone I dislike, I'll hate them."

"Oh," replied Ranma and Akane, wondering who their friendly doctor could dislike.

* * *

Nabiki had a smile on her face. While she looked normal enough, for those who knew her would say it was the biggest smile she ever had. This was not caused by her companion, though, which he hoped it was. She was smiling because he took her to a very exclusive restaurant that she couldn't hope to set foot inside. The restaurant was called The North Wind and it catered only to rich nobility. While Nabiki could pass off as being rich, she wasn't a descendant of high enough nobility for this place.

Kuno was happier than he'd been in years. He was on a date with a beautiful girl who actually listens to him. While his heart still yearned for Akane and her physical prowess, her sister had an intellectual cunning greater than anyone else he knew. And for some reason that was what attracted him to the girls, they were better than him at something. While he held above them a social superiority, they had proven to be his better. So he felt it was his duty to give them a chance to be socially superior to others through marriage.

They talked through dinner over various things, pointedly avoiding topics concerning Ranma and Akane. They didn't really speak about much of anything. Kuno spoke a lot about his favorite poetry and Nabiki talked a little of financial interests.

* * *

Kasumi was a little nervous. She was finally on a date, something she had denied herself so she could take her mother's place and raise Akane and Nabiki. She was nervous about Dr. Tofu. He was normally insane with happiness around her, but tonight he appeared to be in a constant state of a sane, sweet bliss.

Dr. Tofu led his date to a French restaurant named, Chez Rie's. They talked about various things, and he was surprised at just how much medical knowledge Kasumi apparently picked up from the books she borrowed. She could make an excellent nurse, if not a doctor.

* * *

Ranma and Akane walked hand in hand to the restaurant section of Nerima's market district. They went pass Ucchan's, and were surprised to note that it was closed and the name taken down. They passed Neko-Hanten, much to Akane's relief. Eventually ending up at a small mom and pop style restaurant, called Auntie's. The interior was similar to that of Ucchan's yet larger with a long counter and rows of seats along with several booths lining the outer walls.

Akane liked the homey atmosphere the place seemed to give off. She really liked that the restaurant wasn't associated with anything that happened in the past year and a half.

After being seated, a middle-aged waitress approached them. "So kids, what can Auntie get you?"

Akane's face showed her apparent dislike of being called 'kid.'

Ranma decided to order first and answered, "I'll have the number three special with a Coke."

Akane then ordered, "I'll have what my husband ordered, but with water."

"Husband? Aren't you two a little young to be married?" the waitress asked, surprised.

"Not if you've already faced death and come back," Akane replied, dryly.

The comment made the waitress uneasy. She proceeded to make sure they were well served, but avoided her usual small talk she normally would have with her customers.

They talked mostly about school, and Akane explained some of the things that occur in early stages of pregnancy.

* * *

"Ah, to fly over the people as a god, knowing full well the position you hold over them," Kuno said. Looking out the window of the helicopter he had rented for the night.

Nabiki shook her head. His position was based on old money and ancestry. Her position came from knowledge. So, who truly held the higher position?

The pilot rolled his eyes, wondering how much trouble he'd be in if he accidentally lost the arrogant, rich idiot of a passenger somewhere over a thousand feet.

"Servant, take us over the Nerima ward. I wish to look down upon the dwelling of Saotome," Kuno ordered.

Nabiki glared at Kuno.

"N-N-Nerima?" the pilot stuttered. "That area is designated as a hazard fly zone."

Kuno growled. "Do you need your hearing checked, servant? I told you where I wish our destination to be."

"But small, low-flying aircraft are not supposed to fly there, due to unidentified projectiles," the pilot replied, nervously.

"Don't worry about it. Only one of the three more common projectiles can be considered active and he hasn't been seen since last week. It is reasonably safe to fly over Nerima tonight," Nabiki said.

"If we crash, I'll lose my job, if not my life," the pilot replied.

"You will be properly compensated if something unfortunate happens. The heavens shall be generous to you if you adhere to my wishes, and frown greatly upon you if you do not," Kuno intoned threateningly.

It was not the words of Kuno that made the pilot obey, but the bokken his customer held. He began to sweat as he changed directions to fly over Nerima, praying to live to see tomorrow.

* * *

To put it mildly, Kasumi was bored. While she was enjoying her date with Dr. Tofu so far, she really didn't like watching movies. She never really saw the point of wasting one's time watching a story that someone probably hacked apart when she could be doing something more constructive, like reading how the story was supposed to turn out, or cleaning.

Dr. Tofu was extremely happy. He wasn't really paying attention to the film, but enjoying the feeling of holding Kasumi's hand and not running around like some raving lunatic. He hoped he could maintain this control even after the potion wears off, whenever that was.

* * *

Akane had a big grin on her face, while Ranma grumbled.

Akane stood still, bent over slightly, a golf putter in hand. She tapped the ball, sending it into seventeenth hole. "That's two strokes, and this will be your third."

"Don't remind me," Ranma grumbled, trying to forget the bad run-in with the water hazards on holes two and eleven, which fortunately hadn't caused him to transform.

Akane giggled, "Aw, does Ranma hate losing?"

Ranma nodded. "Yes." While he decided he wasn't going to attempt to win, he wasn't going to intentionally lose either. He was just going through the motions of playing. He still hated to lose, even if it actually wanted to.

"Tough," Akane teased.

Ranma tapped the ball into the hole.

They moved to the eighteenth hole. It was a set on a slant with a spiral shape. A ball hit into it would spin through the spiral and end up entering one of several holes. Each hole had a different effect to the score.

Akane went first, sending her ball into the minus two hole.

"That gives me thirty-five. In order for you to win, you have to get that minus ten hole."

Ranma decided to set a different goal for himself, he took aim for his target and nailed it. "Hey, I got a free game!" He elated, at least being able to claim he won something.

"Yeah, but I still beat you." Akane poked him in the chest.

"You didn't have to remind me." Ranma pouted.

"Yes, I do." Akane smirked.

* * *

Nabiki listened to Kuno babble on as he compared the view with his favorite poetry. She found it somewhat odd that she didn't exactly dislike it. In fact, she sort of liked it.

The pilot wanted nothing more than have Kuno to shut up. He sat there, listening to the drivel about how great his family home was and how it pained him that some guy named Saotome forced himself into the Tendo family line. Even if he was paid a million yen, this job was not worth it.

"What the hell is that?" the pilot yelled as his fears of flying over Nerima were answered by what looked to be a flying minotaur.

"That is Pantyhose," Nabiki replied, and was startled as Pantyhose turned and looked at them. "Damn he has good hearing," she muttered.

"What foul demon is this? It must be one of Saotome's evil demon servants," Kuno rationalized.

The pilot freaked as Pantyhose flew closer.

"Just land the helicopter," Nabiki ordered, trying to be a voice of reason.

The pilot didn't move he sat there, staring at the beast in fright.

Pantyhose flew up to the helicopter, grabbed a skid, and then ripped the door off. He then roared something that sounded suspiciously like Happosai.

Kuno raised his bokken. "Get back foul..."

"Shut up, Kuno!" Nabiki screamed, putting her hand over his mouth. "Ah, Tarou, we don't know where Happosai is. We haven't seen him for almost week." She hoped she answered his question.

Pantyhose then roared something else, but received puzzled looks as a response. He roared again this time sounding like Ranma.

"Don't know where he is right now," Nabiki replied.

Pantyhose growled and left, but not before ripping the skid of the helicopter.

The helicopter wobbled in air, and the pilot was still frozen in shock.

Nabiki removed her hand from Kuno's mouth.

"Why did you prevent me from combating such a vile creature?" Kuno asked.

"That creature is the only person who has consistently beaten Ranma," Nabiki told him coldly.

Kuno's grip on his bokken tightened. "That foul creature must be purged from this Earth. Servant, land now!"

The pilot nodded dumbly as he saw the Furinkan soccer field, and decided to land there.

"Kuno-chan, you don't want to fight him. He wouldn't care if he killed you. Believe me, he can," Nabiki warned with worry.

"Such obscenities should not walk this Earth," Kuno protested.

"Please, for once, don't be stupid. Pantyhose is dangerous, he can kill you as easily as you could kill Gosunkugi," Nabiki pleaded.

"It is by family duty that I destroy demons. I most slay him!" Kuno professed.

"He's not a demon, just a super powered, Jusenkyo cursed, martial artist. You should avoid fighting him," Nabiki demanded desperately.

They stopped arguing as the helicopter attempted to land. The pilot, having regained a sense of sanity from focusing on flying, hovered off ground for a moment and said, "I expect to be paid now."

Kuno tossed a large wad of cash at the pilot and jumped out. He ran in the direction Pantyhose flew.

Nabiki muttered, "Stupid fucking jerk." She then jumped out and ran away from the helicopter.

The pilot managed to land, the rotor blades barely missed touching the ground. He cursed himself for being stupid enough to be talked into flying there, until he noticed the money he was tossed had to total over fifty million yen.

* * *

Dr. Tofu and Kasumi were walking, hand in hand, towards the Saotome-Tendo home on the suddenly vacant streets. She didn't wear her normal pleasant smile, but a smile of happiness.

The doctor was in sweet bliss, walking with the one he loved. He had dreamed of this on many occasions, but today it was reality. So lost in being together with Kasumi, he did not notice Pantyhose fly over head nor the bokken yielding young man running up behind them.

"Part thy ways to let me pass, so I can do as family duty demands and destroy that foul demon!" Kuno yelled. He started speaking too late and ran between Kasumi and Dr. Tofu, violently causing them to let go of each others hands.

"Are you all right?" Dr. Tofu asked, concerned.

"I'm fine," Kasumi replied.

Dr. Tofu examined her hand anyway, noting it was slightly bruised. "I-I'll make him pay for hurting you."

Kasumi gasped in shock while Dr. Tofu ran off and full speed, with a look of anger she had never seen on him. She wondered why he reacted so strangely. This wasn't like the friendly doctor she thought she knew.

* * *

Akane sighed, leaning against her husband as they walked through the park. "It is a nice night, even if it's a little cold out."

Ranma pulled her closer to his body. "I can think of a place that's nice and warm."

"Later," Akane promised. "For now let's just enjoy this, the things we should have done during our engagement."

"But that is over, we're married now. Why should we do this?" Ranma wondered.

"Because we were too stupid to do it then. We kept on arguing with each other so much we missed the obvious signs that we loved each other. If we had half a brain or half our pride, we would've known, or been able to admit, our feelings much sooner," Akane explained with regret.

"When did you become so philosophical?" Ranma teased.

Akane sighed. "After China. I looked at my life and started to see things as they really are. How you felt about me, and how stupid I was for not seeing it sooner, were the things I noticed most. Not to mention that I denied acts that indicated my love for you, because at the time, I didn't think I was. But, I'm not the only one to blame, though. You carry the same blame for not realizing it sooner."

They remained quiet for a moment. Ranma sighed, "I guess I've done just that. To think about somethings you've done and not know that you love me seems pretty stupid now. I actually thought the only reason you agreed to marry me for that first attempt was because you were bribed."

"Yeah, well, I should have told you the reason why I agreed to marry you had nothing to do with the Nanniichaun, not just that I knew you loved me, but because I love you, too," Akane admitted.

They stopped walking and Ranma bent his head down and kissed Akane, embracing her tightly. After several minutes and as they felt their necks starting to cramp, they stopped kissing and resumed walking.

"I'm surprised that nothing happened on the date. Something always happens around me, and yet this evening was perfect," Ranma commented.

"Enjoy while it lasts. I doubt it'll stay this way," Akane said.

They stopped when the heard some familiar sounds.

"Bwahahahahaha... What a haul!" Happosai gleefully laughed as he passed by them.

A roar was heard from the monster, Pantyhose, as he flew after Happosai.

"Get back here! You will pay for the damages you made to my restaurant," Cologne yelled, chasing after them.

"No let lech touch. I will kill!" Shampoo shouted wielding metal swords.

"Come back here with my undergarments you miserable troll!" Kodachi added, her own weapons in hand.

"I'm actually a spectator to one of these things." Ranma chuckled.

"My love! Let me help you!" Mousse elated, running after Shampoo.

"Happosai, prepare to DIE!" Ryoga snarled, also involved in the chase.

Ranma and Akane shook their heads, laughing.

"Come back here you foul creature. By my family honor, I SHALL DESTROY THEE! So, swears the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!" Kuno bellowed.

Ranma and Akane blinked as an enraged Dr. Tofu followed in the chase.

"Ryoga... stop! Come... back! You... don't... have... to... do that!" Akari tried to shout, stopping to regain her breath.

"Hi, Akari," Akane greeted.

"Hi," Akari returned.

"I thought you and Ryoga were going to stay at your place," Ranma commented.

"Ryoga and I decided come back for a visit. We were almost at his house when... that thing grabbed me," Akari answered, still a little winded.

"You can stay at our place for the night," Akane offered

"Thanks," Akari replied gratefully, knowing it's too late to go anywhere else.

Akane looked at Ranma. "Why don't you chase after Ryoga and bring him to our home?"

Ranma sighed. "I guess I'll never really get to just watch." He started running in the direction that everyone went.

* * *

Akane and Akari arrived at the Saotome-Tendo home to find Nabiki and Kasumi sitting in the kitchen, eating some left over wedding cake and ice cream. The youngest Tendo tried to figure out where the left over cake came from, because she thought it was all eaten at the wedding reception. She also noticed neither of them were exactly happy.

"What happened on your dates?" Akane asked.

"Kuno decided Pantyhose was a demon, and that he must be destroyed," replied Nabiki.

"Dr. Tofu got upset at Kuno for running into us and chased after him," Kasumi answered, shaking her head.

"Guess Dr. Tofu doesn't like Kuno," Akane commented. "Any cake left for us?"

"Sure," Nabiki answered, pointing at a plate on the counter.

Akane got herself a piece and another one for Akari and sat at the table. They talked a little about their dates. Akane failed to mention that Dr. Tofu's strange reaction at the end of his date was probably due to Cologne's potion.

* * *

Author's Note: Thanks to David Tatum, Brent Neef, and The Rams for going over the original version of this chapter, and thanks to all who gave me suggestions and comments.


	12. Grabbing Your Dream Date

**The Insanity Continues**

**Volume 3 - Anything Goes Martial Arts Dance Contest**

**Chapter 1 - Grabbing Your Dream Date**

_By: Lord Archive_

Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

* * *

_Akane's Diary Entry, Monday January 17th._

_Hello Diary,_

_ Today Ranma did something I never expected him to do. He got me a white rose and some chocolate for our one week wedding anniversary. To say I was shocked at Ranma doing something so sweet is an understatement. He instantly got defensive when I asked what he did with my husband, so I know it was really him._

_ Sorry I didn't write yesterday, it was kind of hectic as Ryoga, Akari, Dad, and Ranma's parent were here. Auntie Saotome insisted on giving me a cooking lesson. A lesson I wasn't allowed to help with. How am I suppose to learn how to cook if I don't practice?_

_ I'm worried about school tomorrow as Principal Kuno announced he has a surprise for us students that we'll just love, which means we're going to hate it with a passion. This is just another thing to add to my problems there. Ranma and I are still having trouble with some students slandering us about me getting pregnant before the wedding. I bet the guys doing it are the same ones who kept asking Ranma what I was like in bed._

_ Still haven't patched things up with Ukyou. I can tell Ukyou is feeling guilty about telling the school I'm pregnant. Ranma doesn't want to forgive her just yet. This was her third big betrayal. The first was participating in the destruction of his mother's house, and the second was when she attacked him at the failed wedding attempt._

_ Ranma would've forgiven Ukyou already if she attacked us, but she told everyone about one of his secrets instead. He can deal with being attacked physically, he's use to that. He is not use to someone attacking him with secrets._

_ Ryoga and Akari have moved into Ryoga's house. I saw her drop a couple hints that she wants to get married when they were here yesterday, but I doubt Ryoga noticed. Of all my friends, I'd only encourage these two to get married. Akari would have the same problems if she got pregnant now as she would later. All my other friends are in school and would end up with a lot of problems if they got pregnant._

_ Dad and Ranma's parents went back to Auntie's house last night, so it's just me, Ranma, Nabiki, Kasumi, and Mousse here at my home, again._

_ I thought the past year and a half was an emotional roller coaster, but it has nothing over the past ten days. I'm only now truly adjusting to some of the changes. I actually answered to Saotome today. Diary, as insane as my life has been so far, I'm sure I'm in for more surprises and insanity._

* * *

The second and third year students of Furinkan High were assembled in the auditorium. Ranma yawned as he waited for Principal Kuno to announce his surprise. Akane sat next to Ranma, ready to wake him if he fell asleep. Most of the other students were worried about the announcement.

"Good morning, Furinkan High," Principal Kuno greeted in English. He then said in Japanese, "I have wonderful news for you. Now that Ranma has settled down, I can hold an event which you'll all love without fear of him and his 'friends' ruining it."

Ranma started to pay a little attention as he was being singled out.

"It is now my pleasure to announce that on January Twenty-ninth, Furinkan High will host it's first junior/senior prom."

The students were amazed, stupefied, and generally shocked. Principal Kuno was actually doing something they would like. Some students were clueless as to what a prom was, while most of them knew from American movies it was a special formal dance party at school.

"Part of the prom will be a dance contest. It will factor into your physical education grade."

Some students became upset at this.

"To insure that nothing will ruin the prom. If you are involved in a fight at anytime during the prom, you will be disqualify from the dance contest and will cause you to have a failing grade for this physical education assignment."

Some students were happy with this. Some were upset at the possible lack of entertainment. Some were scared they wouldn't get a date.

Ranma and Akane became worried, as neither of them had received less than an A in gym, and Principal Kuno had functionally written an F down for this assignment. They knew there would be a fight and they would end up being part of it. Not to mention they didn't know how to dance.

Ukyou didn't know what to make of it. She no longer had someone she would want to take to the dance. Who would she go with?

Nabiki looked at Kuno, who was smiling. It didn't take a psychic to know what was going through his mind. He would ask her to the prom. After her date, Nabiki wasn't absolutely sure she wanted to go out with him again. Maybe she could use the prom to her advantage.

* * *

The students filed out of the auditorium. All had the prom on their mind. More precisely, thinking of who they would go with to the prom.

Hiroshi knew who he wanted to ask. The problem was, at least two dozen other students wanted to ask her out too. If he was going to ask her, now was the time. "Ukyou!" he shouted.

"Yes?" Ukyou replied. Lost in thought, wondering what he wanted.

Hiroshi gathered up his courage and spit out his question, "I was wondering ifyouwouldgowithmetotheprom?"

Ukyou blinked. She remembered him being at her restaurant numerous times, he was one of Ranma's friends, and he seemed, to her, a nice enough guy. Most importantly to her, he didn't wear dresses. "Why not?" Ukyou shrugged. "Sure, I'll go to the prom with you."

Hiroshi almost fainted. "That's great! I'll stop by your restaurant right after school... to talk."

"Well, it's currently closed, but I guess it wouldn't hurt. See you then," Ukyou turned and walked back towards class.

Hiroshi stood there, not believing he not only got a date with her, but got a date with her to the prom. The five guys behind him weren't happy. They would've promptly beat him to a bloody smear, if they didn't know Ranma and Akane were standing behind them.

* * *

It was now lunch, and the classrooms were extremely noisy as people talked about the upcoming prom. The rooms were packed, as it was raining, and friends from different classes wanted to talk to each other.

"Hi," Akane greeted warmly as she sat down next to Sayuri and Yuka.

"Hello, Saotome-chan." Yuka greeted her friendly.

"Hi. I thought you would be eating with your husband," Sayuri said.

"Well, we thought we could use a little time apart. It seems we haven't been more than ten feet apart for over a week now."

"You still aren't." Yuka pointed behind Akane. Ranma was sitting with Hiroshi and Daisuke a desks away down, about seven feet away.

Akane shook her head. "See what I mean? Anyway, what are you two doing for the prom?"

"Don't know. No one asked us yet," replied Yuka.

"You're lucky. You know who you're going with," Sayuri said.

"Yeah, but my gym grade is going to take a beating from it," Akane replied.

"How so? You and Ranma stand a pretty good chance of winning," Sayuri said.

"I have little doubt we could do well in the contest. It's the rule against fighting which will be the problem. Somehow, some way, there will be a fight, and we will probably be part of it," Akane answered.

"How can there be a fight now?" Yuka asked. "Most fights were over one of Ranma's fiancees or between Ranma and you. Now that he married you, there shouldn't be a fight."

"Maybe, but knowing how things happen with Ranma, something will happen at the prom, probably a fight, given the rule," Akane bemoaned.

Sayuri and Yuka thought for a moment, and could only nod to the girl's assessment.

"Now Yuka, why do you keep on calling me Saotome-chan?" Akane asked.

"It is your name," Yuka replied.

"That, and she's jealous you're married. Quite frankly, so am I," Sayuri added.

Akane pouted. "You don't really want to be in my shoes."

"Not your shoes. We don't want your interesting life. We just wish we had someone who loves us and wants to marry us," Sayuri corrected.

"You saw all I've had to put up with to get this far, and it's not done yet. I've had to compete with several woman for his love, and in winning, I got pregnant," Akane pointed out.

"More reason to be jealous," Yuka said. "I'd love to have a child."

"I'm sure you could find a lot of guys willing to get you pregnant. Of course, they'd be long gone once you are." Akane smirked. "Besides, would you really want to have a child while still in school? I'm not sure if I'll graduate now. I'm due a couple weeks after summer break."

Akane leveled her gaze at her friends. "You should be grateful you have years remaining of being childish, and having few responsibilities. I can no longer do things like I used to, as I have a husband and a baby to think of first. I can no longer just go out and do the things as I want. I can't even play certain sports now."

"Well, maybe we are better to wait, but we still want love and children," Yuka said.

"You may want children, I just want love," Sayuri corrected. "Anyway, who do you think will be going out with whom?"

"Let's see," Akane began. "Hiroshi already asked Ukyou."

"Hiroshi and Ukyou?" Yuka snickered. "There's a one time date. Who do you think will take your sister."

"Can't say," Akane replied.

"Can't because you don't know or because Nabiki won't let you?" Sayuri asked.

"Nabiki won't let me," Akane replied simply.

"Come on. You can tell us," Yuka pleaded.

Akane glared. "Not a chance. Nabiki is not above petty revenge for something like that."

* * *

Nabiki sat at a corner of the main hallway, otherwise known as Nabiki's rainy day office. She already had several requests for her to find dates for the prom. This was proving to be a great day for doing business. She wasn't surprised to see her next customer.

"H-hello Nabiki," Gosunkugi greeted.

"Hello. I assume you're here in concern of finding you a date for the prom?" Nabiki guessed.

Gosunkugi nodded. "Y-yes."

"Fifteen hundred yen, and I'll see what I can do. There may be an additional charge for costs," Nabiki recited her charge.

Gosunkugi sighed. There goes buying more film. He pulled out and handed the girl all his money. He then walked away.

Nabiki wondered who she would get to be his date as she pocketed the money.

"I shall have words with you," Kuno said as he approached Nabiki.

"Shall we discuss this business after school? Say about five?" Nabiki asked.

Kuno raised an eyebrow to the girl's questions, wondering if this was how she asked men for dates. "Why not discuss this here and now?"

Nabiki noted his tone did not suggest he was about to ask her out. "Kuno-chan, I'd like to talk about certain things which would be better if we talked somewhere else. Besides, I want an excuse to not be home tonight, since Akane is cooking again."

Kuno nodded. "Very well. I shall pick you up at five then."

* * *

Ranma had joined Hiroshi and Daisuke eating lunch at their desks. He set his lunch and a cup of water a fair distance from himself. "Hi guys."

"Hi," Hiroshi and Daisuke returned.

"How come you aren't eating with Akane?" Hiroshi asked.

"She thought it'd be nice to talk to our friends." Ranma looked at his lunch. "Besides, I don't think she wants to see me while I try to eat the lunch she made. We've been avoiding fighting since the wedding, and she doesn't want any reasons to start one."

"Ranma and Akane not fighting? Isn't that a sign of the apocalypse?" Daisuke joked.

"How bad is it this time?" Hiroshi asked.

"Don't know. She made it while I was training Mousse." Ranma sighed as he opened the bento box.

"Rice with gray sauce and... green peppers... I think?" Daisuke observed.

Ranma nervously took a bite. His eyes bulged. He grabbed the cup and downed the water quickly. His mouth burned even hotter now than before he drank the water.

"Spicy?" Hiroshi asked.

Ranma nodded.

Hiroshi took a slice of bread of his sandwich and handed it to Ranma. "This will work better."

Ranma grabbed the bread and took a bite. The sensation of heat dying down as he chewed. "Thanks."

"No problem. By the way, those aren't green peppers, they're jalapeno peppers."

"I knew that. It's the gray sauce that's really, really spicy," Ranma corrected. "It's not really bad. But I might be able to learn to breath fire with this stuff." He started to eat, alternating bites between his lunch and the slice of bread. "So, who are you going to the prom with?" Ranma asked Daisuke.

"I'm hoping to ask Shampoo," Daisuke replied.

"Heh, good luck. I doubt she'd go to the prom unless her date has defeated her," Ranma said.

"You don't think she'd go on a date?" Daisuke asked.

"On a date, maybe, but to the prom knowing I'm there, not a chance. She doesn't want to see me anytime soon. I really suggest you ask someone else," Ranma advised.

"I don't know then, maybe Sayuri," Daisuke said.

"She'd be a much better choice. Actually, she's a pretty good choice, period," Ranma said.

"What's with the sudden girl advice? You've never really commented on girls before," Hiroshi asked.

"Before, if Akane heard me make a comment about a girl, she'd hit me. Now, I can give comments because Akane knows exactly how I feel about her. She knows there's no reason to be jealous," Ranma replied.

"Did you tell her what your 'insults' really mean?" Daisuke asked.

"Yep," Ranma nodded. "She now calls some of my 'insults,' flattery."

"And the others?" Daisuke asked.

Ranma frowned. "Would still hurt her. I may be pointing a weakness for her to correct, but she doesn't want to hear them. I've been avoiding saying those."

"Any suggests for my date with Ukyou?" Hiroshi asked.

"I'd rather not talk about her," Ranma replied.

"How long are you going to hold this grudge? Ukyou is your friend. Sure, she betrayed you, but you betrayed her worse. Even if you didn't have a choice in doing so. Is it really bad the school knows Akane was pregnant before the wedding and that you knew about it?" Hiroshi asked.

"If she didn't, we could've said she got pregnant on the wedding night. No one would be able to know the difference," Ranma countered.

Hiroshi wagged his finger. "But almost everyone suspected she was pregnant. Sure, it would've been hard to prove. But to get you married, there had to be more than just you finally admitting you love her, or even you having sex with her. Besides, Nabiki would have come up with some way of letting us know when Akane got pregnant, as she had set up a betting pool."

"Why am I not surprised?" Ranma asked himself.

* * *

"Now's the time to ask her," Hiroshi suggested to Daisuke after school had ended.

Ranma nodded, noting the boy's 'second' choice was now only talking to Akane.

"I don't know. Maybe I should ask Shampoo first," Daisuke replied.

"You saw Kenshiro after lunch. He went to go ask her and now he's bruised and limping," Ranma said.

"I don't know," Daisuke fretted. "She's busy talking anyway."

"That's easily fixed." Ranma turned towards Akane and Sayuri. "Yo, Akane! Can I see you for a second?"

Akane sighed. "I'll see what he wants. Be right back." She walked over. "So, what is it, Ranma?"

"We're trying to build up Daisuke's courage to ask Sayuri to the prom," Ranma answered barely above a whisper.

"Oh!" Akane smiled. "Just go over and ask her. I know she'll say yes."

"Really?" Daisuke asked.

Akane nodded firmly. "I'm certain."

Daisuke gulped. "All right. Here goes nothing."

Ranma, Akane, and Hiroshi faked a conversation while keeping an eye on Daisuke.

"Hi, Sayuri," Daisuke greeted nervously.

"Hi," Sayuri returned. She became nervous, seeing as he was nervous.

"I was wondering... if you would... go with me... to the... prom?" Daisuke croaked out.

"Yes... I'd like that." Sayuri smiled innocently and blushed.

Daisuke shifted uneasily. "Great."

Sayuri nodded. "Yeah."

They remained silent for several minutes.

"Mind if I walk you home?" Daisuke asked.

"That'd be fine." Sayuri turned to see Akane, Ranma, and Hiroshi had been watching. She blushed deeply. "Eh, I'm going home now. I'll see you tomorrow, Akane."

Akane waved. "See you then."

"Bye," Daisuke said, which everyone returned in kind.

"I guess I should go talk to my dear, sweet Ucchan now," Hiroshi said smiling.

"Call her that, and you'll know how it feels to be hit upside the head with her combat spatula," Akane informed.

"Good safety tip. Thanks." Hiroshi ran out of the classroom.

Ranma put his arm around Akane and they left as well.

"Now I have to find a date. Any suggestions?" Ranma asked.

"Rrrraanma," Akane growled.

"Just joking. How about we go to a dance club to learn how to dance?" Ranma asked.

"And how is that going to help us?" Akane wondered.

"Simple, we watch others dance and copy their moves. Just think of it as watching a martial artist performing a kata and repeat what they do," Ranma pointed out.

"Might work." Akane shrugged. "How about we go Saturday night?"

"I guess. At least we know there should be some good dancers there," Ranma agreed.

When they made it outside, they noticed Yuka was just standing there with a blank expression on her face.

"Hey, Yuka? Are you all right?" Akane asked.

Yuka nodded.

"I thought you were going home. Why are you still here?" Akane wondered.

"Hiro asked me to the prom," Yuka answered without any emotion.

"Hiro? The captain of the soccer team?" Akane questioned.

Yuka nodded.

"That's great. You did say yes?"

Yuka nodded.

Akane smiled. "Well, you should hurry home now. You know how your mother worries about you."

Yuka nodded and started to walk. She moved to a jog by the time she was at the gate. A moment later Ranma and Akane heard Yuka shout for joy about a block away.

"She should make it home in record time," Akane commented.

* * *

Ms. Hinako, in her adult form, knocked at the door of the Saotome-Tendo home. She appeared to be nervous.

"Hello," Kasumi greeted as she opened the door.

"Hello, Kasumi. I'd like to speak with your father," Ms. Hinako said.

"I'm sorry, but he has sort of moved to the Saotome residence currently. I can give him a message if you wish?"

Ms. Hinako became disappointed. "Tell your father, Furinkan High would like to know if he would chaperon the school's prom on January Twenty-ninth."

Kasumi thought for a moment. "I'm sure he would be glad to help."

"Can we be sure of his help?" Ms. Hinako asked, her voice surprisingly pleading.

Kasumi couldn't think of any sort of plans her father might have. "I'm pretty sure he'd help."

"Thank you," Ms. Hinako smiled.

Kasumi shut the door. She then went over to the phone and dialed.

"Hello, Saotome residence," Nodoka answered the phone.

"Hi, Auntie. I'd like to talk to Father," Kasumi said.

"Certainly," Nodoka replied.

"Hello," Soun greeted his daughter.

"Hi, Daddy. The school wants you to chaperon their prom," Kasumi informed.

"Um, I have plans for that night," Soun quickly declined.

Kasumi frowned. "Oh, you have prior plans? But I haven't told you when it is."

"When is it?" Soun asked.

"January Twenty-ninth," Kasumi answered.

"Yep. Definitely have plans for that night," Soun told her.

Kasumi pouted. "But I told them you'd help."

"I'm sorry, but I can't break them. Why don't you chaperon the event?" Soun suggested.

"Me? Well, I guess I could go in your place. But they asked for you," Kasumi replied.

"As I said, 'I've got plans.' You can go and have fun," Soun encouraged.

"All right, Father, if you insist. Bye." Kasumi hung up the phone. "My, Father is busy all of the sudden."

"Bye," Soun said, hanging up the phone.

"You're as bad as my husband," Nodoka commented.

* * *

Ms. Hinako was smiling since she left the Saotome-Tendo residence. Suddenly the chi she had absorbed from some delinquents dissipated, returning her to her child from. She then shouted for joy, doing cart wheels. It did not take her long to arrive at her next destination.

Dr. Tofu was greeted by a rambunctious, chibi-Ms. Hinako as he entered his waiting room. "May I help you?" he asked.

"Ah, yes, doctor," Ms. Hinako said. "Furinkan High wants to know if you would chaperon the school's prom on January Twenty-ninth?"

Dr. Tofu thought a second about it. It would mean he couldn't go out with Kasumi that Saturday night, but he could still go out the night before. "I'd be glad to help."

"Thanks, Doc." Ms. Hinako skipped out of the clinic.

And that little girl a teacher, his thoughts derided bitterly. He then shook his head and then sighed. Cologne's potion was still in affect. He feared it might even be getting worse.

* * *

Kasumi knocked on Nabiki's door.

"Who is it?" Nabiki called.

"Kodachi is on the phone for you," Kasumi replied.

Nabiki got up and left her room to get to the phone. She took with her a file. Picking up the phone, she said, "Hello, Kodachi."

"Greetings, Nabiki," Kodachi said from the other end of the line. "I want you to find me a date for your school's prom."

"May have to ignore your primary criteria, as you'll need to date someone from the school," Nabiki pointed out.

"You will not! Also, I don't want anyone as womanizing as that Mikado guy. He may have been a good kisser, but he wanted to take more liberties with me than just my lips. I had to reprimand him. He won't be available for dating for some time," Kodachi growled out.

Nabiki grumbled, "Someone who has fought Ranma... preferably has beaten him... Ah! We do have one person who matches your primary criteria, he has even beaten Ranma once. And he definitely won't attempt to take any liberties from you."

"Good. Who is he? Kodachi wondered."

"His name is Hikaru."

"I don't think I've heard of him. Oh well, if he's defeated Ranma, he should be good enough. I shall talk with you later." Kodachi hung up.

Nabiki grinned. She checked off Gosunkugi Hikaru from her list. Thanks to that Moxibustion incident, Gosunkugi had one victory to his name. Sure, it was with the help of Kuno, Mousse, and Principal Kuno, and Ranma was too weak to fight. But it was a victory none-the-less.

* * *

Kuno sat with Nabiki at the Neko-Hanten eating dinner. He was paying, of course. He was showing signs of nervousness.

"All right, Kuno-chan. What did you want to ask me at lunch?" Nabiki asked, her cold mask of indifference in place.

"I wish to have all the information you have on that demon... Pantyhose, you called it?" Kuno asked, his nervousness disappeared with Nabiki's question.

"Listen to me this time. Pantyhose Tarou is as human as our waitress. He has trained in martial arts from a very young age and is capable of regularly defeating Ranma when he's in his human form. In his Jusenkyo curse form, he is even stronger and it took several martial artist, each of them better than you, to defeat him. He is quite capable of killing you. He might not even care if he killed you. My advice to you as your business adviser and as a friend, avoid him."

"I can't sit idly by as the demon roams free," Kuno protested.

"Kuno-chan. At the wedding, a sword appeared in your hand when the demon showed up. Is that the only means of getting it?" Nabiki questioned.

Kuno nodded. "Yes."

"If Pantyhose was a demon, would not the sword have appeared?" Nabiki pointed out.

Kuno frowned. "It should, but it is a fickle weapon."

"But it didn't. He's not a demon." Nabiki took it as a 'yes' anyway.

"He may not be a true demon. But from what I've seen, and your description, tells me his soul may be as tainted of one of the foulest ones, like he who has taken over your home," Kuno spouted.

Nabiki shook her head. "Kuno-chan, please listen to me. You don't want to fight him. Ranma wipes the floor with you in all your fights. So, what chance would you have against the person who can defeat him? Please avoid him. If you value your own life, avoid him."

Kuno gazed at the girl. "You are concerned for me?"

"I don't want to see you dead, and if you follow this pointless pursuit, you will be," Nabiki returned almost pleadingly.

Kuno frowned. "For you Nabiki, I shall forgo my pursuit of him. I hope I never have reason to regret my choice."

Nabiki nodded. "Good."

"Now Nabiki, I have another question for you. I ask that I may grace you with my company at the forthcoming dance my father is so graciously holding?" Kuno requested.

"One condition Kuno-chan, whenever I want to tell you something, you will listen to me," Nabiki demanded.

Kuno smiled. "I shall adhere to that condition as you oft bring me sagely advice."

"Excellent." Nabiki's emotionless masked finally slipped off completely as she smiled.

"I hear you procured a date for my sibling so that she may also attend the festivities," Kuno noted.

"Yes. It's rather hard finding her a date, though, given that her primary criteria is someone who has fought Ranma, and preferably beat him," Nabiki replied.

"Such is a hard task, for few have the might that I yield so as to face the vile deceiver. But I ask, who is this man you have found for my sister?" Kuno wondered.

Nabiki smirked. "Promise not to tell her what you know of him."

"Why should I withhold knowledge to my own flesh and blood?" Kuno wondered.

"Well, I want her to see her primary criteria isn't very good. While her date meets it, he will fall far short of her expectations," Nabiki answered.

Kuno nodded. "I shall agree, unless I feel he may hurt my sister."

"Her date is Gosunkugi Hikaru," Nabiki told him with a slight chuckle.

Kuno laughed. "I feel my sister would do well to hold on to him. She could learn many things from him."


	13. Dancing the Night Away

The Insanity Continues

Volume 3 - Anything Goes Martial Arts Dance Contest

Chapter 2 - Dancing the Night Away

By: Lord Archive

Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

* * *

It was the end of another day at Furinkan High as Ranma waved good-bye to Akane. She left with her friends to work on a school project. Seeing as the assignment was due after lunch tomorrow, Ranma was going to work on it with Hiroshi and Daisuke at lunch.

Ranma sighed. This was the first time in almost two weeks in which Akane wasn't in shouting distance from him. They had been married for nine days, and Akane was now about twelve days pregnant. Ranma shook his head. One day and his world forever changed yet again. Thirteen days ago seemed little different than any day during the past year and a half. The next day Happosai used a magical item on Ranma, and his life was once again sent through the blender.

His mind went through the changes. He no longer had three fiancees, but was married! Kuno knew of his curse. Akane was pregnant and she has learned Ryoga was P-Chan. He was still surprised he hasn't been beaten into a bloody mess. Ryoga accepted being friends with him. Nabiki was dating Kuno, and Kasumi was going out with Dr. Tofu. Mr. Tendo and his parents moved into his Mom's house. He and Akane now own the Tendo Dojo and home, which is now Saotome-Tendo Dojo and home. He was training Mousse to defeat Shampoo. Shampoo was avoiding him. He was not even on speaking terms with Ukyou. He then wondered if he was missing anything.

Ranma snapped at of his thoughts as her heard a familiar voice say, "Ranma?"

"What do you want, Ukyou?" Ranma snapped.

"I think we should talk," Ukyou replied.

Ranma glared at her. "Why should we?"

"Because I want us to be friends again," Ukyou almost pleaded.

"Friends? I trusted you, and you betrayed me. I thought I could tell my 'friend' the whole truth and she would never go and tell anyone about it. I never thought my 'friend' would participate in stopping my wedding without asking me if that's what I wanted. And I didn't think my 'friend' would help destroy my mother's house," Ranma shouted at her.

"They were mistakes. I should have never done any of those things," Ukyou agreed.

"Sure, but what stops you from doing something like that again. How can I trust you? It hurt more seeing you throw that exploding okonomiyaki at me than when it actually hit. I would've thought you'd ask me if I wanted to marry her, or at least found a way to stop the wedding with no one getting hurt," Ranma pointed out bitterly.

"Why didn't you say anything about it before, Ranma? When I apologized for that, you said it wasn't a big deal," Ukyou defended.

Ranma looked away. "I understood why you did it, but it still hurt. I trusted you and you betrayed me."

"You betrayed me too. I was your fiancee, technically I still am. If you had no intentions of marrying me, you should have told me. You strung me along because you wanted someone to fall back on if Akane broke off her engagement for good. You used me. For a year I've been faithful to you, helping you, being your friend, and you threw me to the side like a used tissue because Akane spread her legs," Ukyou retorted, finishing her rant dripping with venom.

Ranma was very tempted to slap the girl for that last comment. "I never asked you to do any of those things. I didn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you that I wasn't interested. And if I explained all the reasons why I didn't want to marry you when you came here, I might be celebrating my first wedding anniversary to a very angry wife now."

"When did you know you were going to marry Akane?" Ukyou demanded.

"The wedding fiasco was when I knew I was going to marry her. It was before Shampoo showed up that I realized I didn't really mind the idea of marrying her," Ranma admitted.

"Saotome Ranma, how dare you cavort with other women once your lovely wife has left your side?!" Kuno shouted.

Ranma rolled his eyes. "I was only talking to her."

"Vile deceiver, you no doubt wish to twist her to your will again and enslave her," Kuno bellowed.

Ranma leapt at Kuno, punching him in the face. "Shut up."

Kuno collapsed into a heap.

Ranma stomped off the Furinkan grounds and then took roof top route home.

Ukyou walked over to Kuno. "You just had to interrupt, didn't you?" She decided to play golf with her combat spatula.

Kuno awoke, finding himself flying over Nerima. "Curse you Saotome!"

* * *

Three girls giggled as they walked down the streets of Nerima. They talked and joked about who was going with whom to the prom. Yuka led Akane and Sayuri, to her home since they decided to work on a school assignment there. Yuka's mother looked at Akane warily.

The three girls went to Yuka's room, pulled out school books, and started working on their assignment. Five minutes after starting, the subject moved to the upcoming prom.

"Do you two want to see if your prom dates want to join me and Ranma at the Raging Night Dance Club this Saturday?" Akane asked.

"I doubt my Mom will let me. She isn't too thrilled with the idea of the prom in the first place," Yuka answered.

"I already have plans with Daisuke. We might stop by during our date," Sayuri answered.

"You're going on a date Saturday with Daisuke? Why didn't you tell me?" Yuka demanded.

Sayuri shrugged. "I guess it slipped my mind."

"'Slipped your mind?' You're going on a date and it 'slipped your mind?'" Yuka retorted incredulously.

"I didn't forget the date. I just forgot to tell you. Besides, you're the one going with Hiro to the prom. I'd say that's bigger news. Only Ranma ranked above him as most desirable date," Sayuri shot back.

"Ranma was most desirable?" Akane asked.

"A handsome, martial arts god who probably knew a thing or two about how to pleasure a girl, of course girls wanted to date him," Sayuri said.

"Fortunately for him, he didn't know too much about how to pleasure girls," Akane retorted and then blushed at her admission.

"Why do you say that?" Yuka asked.

Akane fidgeted a little. "If he had anymore knowledge, it'd mean I wasn't his first and only. I would be very angry with him if that was the case."

"You thought he might have done it with one of the other girls," Sayuri said.

"I was just being a jealous idiot about it. He has been faithful to me," Akane asserted.

"So, is marriage to Ranma better than you thought?" Yuka asked.

Akane gave a shallow nod. "It is better, but I still would've liked to wait."

They were interrupted as someone knocked on the door.

"It's open," Yuka said.

Yuka's mother entered the room. "I was wondering if you girls would like a snack?"

"Sure," replied the girls.

"Akane, could you help me carry up the snacks?" Yuka's mother asked.

Akane was a little confused at the request. "Um, okay." She followed Yuka's mother out the room and towards the kitchen.

"Is it true that you got pregnant before your wedding?" Yuka's mother asked.

Akane reluctantly said, "Yes."

"I thought you were better than that. I really don't like the idea of girls your age dating, let alone married and pregnant."

"I'd prefer it if I wasn't pregnant. Ranma and I still have a lot of problems to sort out, and I would've liked to have handled them before getting married. Getting pregnant was the last thing I wanted," Akane admitted.

Yuka's mother scowled. "Then why'd you have sex with him?"

"At the time, Ranma and I were trapped in a magical prison. We were running out of ideas of how to escape, and seeing as the person who trapped us is the biggest pervert in the world, we thought a means of escape might be to have sex," Akane explained sheepishly.

Yuka's mother shook her head. "You should've known he suggested it just because it was an excuse to have sex with you."

Akane blushed. "Um, it was my idea to have sex, and I had to convince him. It was pretty stupid of me to have done it, and now I have to live with that decision."

"I hope you aren't giving my daughter any ideas."

"I've been telling her it isn't good I got married so soon. That she shouldn't be in a rush to find someone." Akane sighed. "But, all she is seeing is all the good things that happened to me because of it."

"I'm worried about my daughter. I don't want to see her make the same mistakes you did," Yuka's mother told her.

Akane nodded. "I don't want her to either. She isn't ready, and she should enjoy what's left of her childhood."

"You're right, she's not ready. I don't want her to think she should rush out to get married because you did," Yuka's mother agreed.

Akane sighed with regret. "I can explain to her all the reasons why she should wait, because I know better than anyone else what is lost, since I'm going through it."

Yuka's mother looked carefully at the girl. "I hope you can. My baby girl shouldn't have a baby, and I fear that is just what she wants."

Akane smiled. "Yuka is lucky to have a mother like you. My father and Ranma's parents were overjoyed that I got pregnant. I sort of wished they would've been upset about it. I'm too young to have these problems, and yet I do."

Yuka's mother nodded. "You certainly are too young." She handed Akane three cans of soda pop, and then picked up a tray of snacks. They went back to Yuka's room.

"What kept you?" Sayuri asked.

"I just wanted to ask Akane a couple questions," Yuka's mother answered. She set down the snacks and left.

"What did you talk about?" Yuka asked.

Akane handed the girls each a soda pop. "She wanted to know if I was really pregnant and she's worried because she thought I might encourage you to follow my lead."

"She worries too much," Yuka said.

"It's better than too little." Akane sighed. "Let's get back to the school work. I can't stay too long. I still have to cook dinner for Ranma."

* * *

Akane ran back home. She was late. It was already after five thirty, and she needed to make dinner. When she arrived, she let out a sigh. She realized she was too late when the aroma of delicious foods whetted her taste buds. Kasumi had already started dinner.

"I'm home," Akane called, making her way to the kitchen.

"Hi Akane. I hope you don't mind that I made dinner. I didn't want it to be late," Kasumi said.

"It's all right. I didn't feel like cooking anyway," Akane lied.

"Dinner is almost ready. Can you get the others?" Kasumi requested.

"Sure," Akane replied. She first went upstairs and told Nabiki. Then Akane went to the dojo and found Ranma fighting Mousse. "Dinner's ready."

Mousse emitted a sigh of relief as Ranma stopped attacking.

Ranma turned and walked out of the dojo.

Akane walked next to him. "What is it?"

"What do you mean 'what is it?'" Ranma asked.

Akane pouted. "You're angry, and I'd like to know why."

"I had a talk with Ukyou," Ranma answered simply.

Akane sighed. "I take it, it didn't go very well."

Ranma irritably folded his arms. "That's an understatement."

"You can't stay angry at her," Akane pointed out.

"I know, but how can I ever trust her again? I've trusted her enough to tell her that secret, and she told everyone!" Ranma protested.

"The same way I'm learning to trust Ryoga again, give another chance," Akane returned.

Ranma sighed. "Maybe I should try to talk to her later."

"No maybe, you will talk with her. And you will give her another chance," Akane demanded.

"Yes, Dear," Ranma replied as if he wanted to say no.

Akane was not pleased with his tone, but wasn't going to make an issue of it, since he did agree.

Ranma and Akane joined Nabiki at the dinner table. They were shortly joined by Mousse, after he applied some bandages to himself. All but Akane were happy that Kasumi cooked dinner.

"I've been meaning to ask you if you're going to the prom with Kuno?" Akane asked.

"Yes," Nabiki replied.

Kasumi entered with some of the dinner.

"How about you two join Ranma and me to the Raging Night Dance Club this Saturday?" Akane asked.

Ranma frowned at the suggestion. He really didn't want to deal with Kuno any more than he had to.

"Sounds like fun." Nabiki smirked, seeing how unhappy Ranma looked about it.

"Dancing," Kasumi said to herself. She could give Dr. Tofu another chance. "Would you mind if Dr. Tofu and I come too?"

"Oh, I insist you two come," Akane answered.

Ranma was happier with that idea.

"Maybe Shampoo and I could join you," Mousse said.

"I don't think Shampoo would like the idea," Ranma replied.

"Why not?" Mousse shot back.

"Well, I think Shampoo has been avoiding me. And the only way you can get her to go out with you is if you defeat her first. You're not ready yet to fight her yet," Ranma pointed out.

"I'm as skilled a fighter as she is," Mousse defended.

"You need to be better than her. You'll hold back in your fight because you don't want to hurt her, but she won't hold back anything. You have to come up with a techniques geared towards submission because you don't want to knock her out," Ranma explained.

Mousse could only nod at what Ranma said.

* * *

Akane picked up the phone on the third ring. "Hello, Saotome-Tendo residence. Can I help you?"

"Hi, Akane," Akari answered from the other end of the line. "How is everything?"

"Fine, and you?" Akane returned.

"Great. Ryoga's dog is keeping him from getting lost," Akari related.

"That's nice. It's a good thing you called. I wanted to see if you and Ryoga would join me and Ranma dancing Saturday?" Akane asked.

"Oh, that sounds like fun. Let me check." A muffled sound was now heard through the phone. "Akane, we'd be glad to join you."

"Great. Just come here Saturday afternoon so we can all leave at the same time," Akane informed.

* * *

Kuno and Nabiki were at the small restaurant called Auntie's. Nabiki was once again avoiding being home because of Akane's cooking.

"So, what business does thou have with me tonight?" Kuno asked, smiling.

"I don't really have any business tonight except my sister wants to make a group outing at a dance club this Saturday," Nabiki mentioned.

"You wondered if I would grace you all with my presence and demonstrate my incomparable skill on the dance floor?" Kuno questioned.

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Yes."

Kuno eyed her wearily. "Is Saotome going to be there?"

"Both of them will be there," Nabiki retorted.

"Both of them?" Kuno asked confused.

Nabiki shook her head. "Sure, Ranma and Akane are both Saotome now."

"I desire either to avoid seeing the deceiver or to see him destroyed," Kuno grumbled.

"Come on Kuno-chan. You shouldn't hold a grudge against my brother. We did try to explain it to you, but you wouldn't listen. It is as much your fault for not wanting to see the truth as it was for him to occasionally use your self-deception against you," Nabiki pointed out. "Besides, you kept chasing after him and Akane, despite the fact they made it clear they didn't have any feelings for you. In many ways you brought on yourself everything he did to you."

"What about your own participation in the deception?" Kuno demanded.

"I did try to tell you, but you weren't listening. Besides, I only sold you pictures and truthful information. Did I ever say the 'pig-tailed girl' was in love with you, or Ranma had enslaved the girl," Nabiki retorted.

"You said something to the effect that her body and soul is Ranma's, that suggested enslavement," Kuno returned.

"I used a poor choice of words, but tell me how could I have explained it that Ranma and the girl were the same person?" Nabiki asked him seriously.

Kuno thought for a moment. "That the girl is Ranma. That Ranma has two bodies, one male and the other female."

"You wouldn't spout at how this is some sorcery or something similar?" Nabiki shot at him.

"If you had explained it then, I would have accepted it," Kuno told her firmly.

"Oh really?" Nabiki stared at Kuno harshly.

Kuno withered under the gaze. "Maybe I still would not desire to see the truth. It is hard to believe such curses exist."

"Ranma has seen far more unbelievable things than his curse. His life has been extremely hard, and he's only seventeen. I would hate to find out his life is only going to get harder, but I'm afraid it might," Nabiki almost bemoaned.

"One as evil as him deserves a harsh life," Kuno spat.

"He is not evil. The only way he has wronged you was by playing into your own deception. It is your fault for chasing after Akane and his girl half. Kuno-chan, I'm not going to ask you to be friends with Ranma, but I do ask you stop being his enemy. Akane doesn't want you fighting with him, and I don't want you to either," Nabiki told him coldly.

"How can I just let him work his evils?" Kuno demanded.

"Kuno-chan, how about stopping attacks on him for a while and observe what he does without attacking him? Try to see what he's really like. He isn't a bad person once you know him," Nabiki requested.

Kuno huffed. "I am certain he will prove to be as evil as I say."

"Then if you personally observe him you'll at least be able to see how he fights and you might find a weakness to exploit when you prove he is truly evil." Nabiki's eyes widen as a plan struck her. "That is something I want you to do before you attack him again, prove to me he has done something evil. If you can prove it, I will help you."

"Such a noble offer." Kuno thought for a moment. It should not be hard to find evidence of his evil, and with Nabiki's help he shall vanquish his foe. "I shall accept your terms."

"Remember, no fighting him until I say so," Nabiki reminded.

Kuno nodded. "I shall remember."

"You may even want to show a sign of peace between you and Ranma," Nabiki suggested.

Kuno glared. "Why should I?"

"Well, for no other reason, you'd be able to get closer to him in order to find your evidence. And if you do find he isn't evil, you might even decide to be his friend," Nabiki explained.

"Hmm. To find evidence by daring to entering the lion's den. It is a sound idea. I shall attempt it," Kuno related.

* * *

Dr. Tofu knocked on the door of the Saotome-Tendo home. He was a little surprised when Kasumi asked him out, but he didn't mind.

Ranma answered the door. "Hiya, Doc. Come on in. The girls are almost ready."

"Hi Ranma," Dr. Tofu greeted. They went to the dinning room where Ryoga, Akari, and Kuno were. He avoided looking at Kuno.

"Do you have the results of Akane's test?" Ranma asked.

"I do, but I think I'll wait for Akane before telling anyone," Dr. Tofu replied.

"You don't have to wait," Akane said as she entered with her sisters.

"Ah! Such a lovely sight to behold," Kuno said.

"You better not be talking about Akane." Ranma said.

"Ranma!" Akane snarled.

Ranma backed away from Akane. "You are a lovely sight, Akane. I just meant he shouldn't be looking at my wife."

"I would not covet another man's wife. I was referring to Nabiki," Kuno said matter-of-factly.

"Thank you, Kuno-chan," Nabiki said.

Akane smiled. "You think I'm lovely?"

"Of course you are." Ranma sighed in relief.

"Dr. Tofu, what are the test results?" Akane asked.

"The test came up positive. You are indeed pregnant. Congratulations," Dr. Tofu answered.

Akane smiled nervously. "Great." Her last hope she wasn't pregnant went out the window.

"Oh, congratulations," Kasumi said.

"Pregnant?" Ryoga and Akari shouted in unison, as no one had told them until now.

"That's wonderful. I'm sure you and Ranma will make great parents," Akari said.

"Ranma! You... you..." Ryoga started in his customary anger, but then remembered they were married. "...you'll make a great father. Congratulations."

"Thanks man," Ranma said nervously.

* * *

The four couples made it to the Raging Night Dance Club. They made sure to be there before six o'clock, to beat other Furinkan High students who might have the same idea. The place was almost packed when they arrived.

Several murmurs were heard as they entered. There were some students from Furinkan at the club, and they were amazed seeing Kuno and Nabiki entered together. They were shocked when Ranma and Akane followed them.

They all sat around one table. Kuno was flanked by Kasumi and Nabiki, and Ryoga and Akari sat across from him.

When they ordered their food, Kuno added, "A round of sake to celebrate Akane's blessing of life."

"Except Akane, of course," Dr. Tofu added.

"Yeah, just tea for me," Akane said, blushing slightly.

That got a surprised look from the waitress. She left with their order.

"Kuno-chan, you're not going to try to get me drunk tonight?" Nabiki joked.

"Unlike some..." Kuno eyed Ranma evilly. "I respect the sanctity of a woman's bed chamber before marriage."

Akari was a little shocked at Kuno's insinuation and realized there a slight timing error if Akane suspected she was pregnant already. She giggled, "You couldn't wait to get your hands on him, could you Akane?"

"W-what?!" Ryoga stammered.

Ranma got nervous as he didn't want to fight Ryoga now. They didn't get to eat yet.

Akane sighed, as she had to explain it in hope of stopping Ryoga from going ballistic. "A couple days before the wedding, I, sort of, seduced Ranma."

Ryoga blinked. "You seduced him?!"

Kuno grumbled something about a spell, which earned a nasty glare from Nabiki.

"Yes, it was my idea to have sex before the wedding. I actually had to convince him," Akane sheepishly admitted.

"He didn't force himself on you?" Ryoga asked.

"If anything, I forced myself on him. He wanted to wait," Akane insisted.

"I'm sure he did," Kuno said in a mocking tone.

"If you didn't wait, you wouldn't be pregnant," Akari said.

"Yeah, I wish I waited or at least paid more attention to my cycle. I didn't want to get pregnant so soon," Akane said.

"I think it's wonderful you're pregnant. I'd like to be a mother myself," Akari said. She gently touched Ryoga's arm.

Ryoga became VERY uncomfortable.

Ranma sighed with relief as it looked like Ryoga wasn't going to fight. Ranma had some mixed feelings about what Akane was saying about being pregnant.

The waitress returned with their drinks.

With their glasses filled, Kuno made a toast, "To the glorious life Akane bears, may the child be noble, honorable, and strong."

Finding nothing at fault with it, they accepted the toast.

They started to talk between themselves. Dr. Tofu talked with Kasumi, and Kuno spouted poetry to Nabiki. Ranma found himself caught between Akari and Akane talking about married life and the pregnancy. Ryoga felt left out.

Ranma decided to go for some more sake, to help ignore the conversation going on around him.

"Ranma, don't drink too much. I don't want to deal with a drunken red-head," Akane said, warningly.

"I was only going to have a second one. That's it," Ranma replied.

"See that it is," Akane stated firmly.

"What did you mean by that, Akane?" Akari asked.

"Ranma's curse form has no tolerance for alcohol. He might become drunk if he turns into a girl," Akane related.

Akari giggled looking at Ryoga. "I wonder if he has the same problem."

"A drunk P-Chan, now there's a thought." Akane giggled.

"Maybe he wouldn't be able to get lost that way," Ranma joked.

Ryoga glared at Ranma.

"Ranma, don't you dare start a fight," Akane scowled.

Ranma sighed and took a little drink from his sake. He was thankful when the waitress arrived with their food. He wasn't happy Akane was taking her time eating as she continued to talk with Akari.

After finishing their meal Kuno led Nabiki on to the dance floor, and they were joined shortly by Kasumi and Dr. Tofu. Then Akari dragged Ryoga to the dance floor.

Ranma and Akane watched the various people dancing. They quickly noted how most people danced wasn't very complicated with the slow songs currently being played, basically staying in place and swaying to the music. Kuno and Nabiki were doing a more complicated dance than anyone else.

"Hi," Sayuri and Daisuke greeted.

"Hi," Ranma and Akane returned.

"It's nice to see you two make it," Akane said.

"We're not staying too long. We're on our way to the movies," Daisuke said.

"Are my eyes playing tricks on me?" Sayuri asked.

"Why? What do you think you're seeing?" Ranma asked.

"Kuno dancing with Nabiki," Sayuri said.

"You aren't seeing anything," Akane replied.

"Nabiki and Kuno?" Sayuri asked incredulously.

"I'm still trying to figure it out, and I've known for over a week," Ranma said.

"You mean Kuno's been going after Nabiki and harping on you about Akane at the same time?" Daisuke asked.

"Yeah. Nabiki is talking some sense into him though," Ranma answered. "I guess they make a perfect couple. She's money hungry and manipulative and he's rich and easy to manipulate."

Akane smacked her husband on the arm. "Don't insult people."

Ranma rubbed his arm. "I'm only joking, sheez."

"The person you're insulting may not take it that way. When you insulted me it hurt. I didn't find anything funny about them," Akane retorted.

"Aw, you need to lighten up a little," Ranma shot back.

Sayuri and Daisuke decided to retreat to the dance floor.

"You need to realize not everyone thinks your insults are funny. If you want to fling insults at someone, make sure the person won't be offended by them or that you want to offend the person," Akane retorted.

"Uncute," Ranma spat.

"Pervert," Akane hissed.

"You're the pervert," Ranma shot back.

"Stupid jerk," Akane growled with a strange tone.

With each word they moved closer until they started kissing. They stopped when the music turned modern. Dr. Tofu, Kasumi, Ryoga and Akari returned to the table. Kuno attempted to continue dancing, embarrassing Nabiki, since he was looking like an idiot. She dragged him off the floor. Sayuri and Daisuke continued dancing. The newlyweds started to watch the people dancing again.

"Not all modern music have the same dance," Ranma commented.

"Actually this one doesn't appear to have a particular style attached to it. Only two people are dancing the same way," Akane added.

"It seems moving to the beat of the music is how you dance to this," Ranma observed.

"We could modify a kata to fit the beat of the song we're going to be judged on," Akane suggested.

"How is a kata related to dancing?" Akari asked.

"A kata is a set practice forms of martial arts. You repeat a series of moves that can be used for fighting. Dancing is a repetition of moves done in a way that is pleasing to the eye. By modifying a kata to work in beat with a song, it should be pleasing to the eye," Akane explained.

"A battle of two great martial artists is oft called a dance of death, for it has its own glorious beauty," Kuno added.

"Care to try, Akane?" Ranma asked. "You lead and I'll copy your moves."

"Wouldn't hurt," Akane shrugged.

Sayuri and Daisuke said good-bye to the newlyweds before leaving for the movies.

Ranma and Akane made their way to the dance floor. Akane attempted to move in beat, missing each one slightly. Ranma mirrored each move. Those watching might have been in awe of the skill shown if it weren't the jarring effect from the missed beats.

The next song was a slow one. Ranma and Akane decided to continue dancing. The other couples quickly joined them.

As Dr. Tofu danced with Kasumi a guy approached them. "May I cut in?" the guy said as he pushed Dr. Tofu aside and tried to dance with Kasumi.

"You may not." Dr. Tofu's voice was filled with venom. The guy withered under the doctor's rather painful neck pinch.

"Four eyes, leave my brother alone," a rather large guy said.

"Certainly." Dr. Tofu released his neck pinch.

The guy turned and punched Dr. Tofu into a group of other couples. "Come on wimp, lets see what you've got."

"I'd rather not. I don't want to have to patch you back together afterwards," Dr. Tofu said.

The guy rushed Tofu. The young looking doctor dodged, slamming the guy into the back.

"Bad move four eyes. You hurt my little brother, now you have to fight me and my friends." Five guys flanked the larger one.

Ranma and Akane looked at the situation shaking their heads.

"Oh great. A bar fight. Maybe they'll have some skill," Ranma said going over to Dr. Tofu's side. "Quick question guys, how many of you are master level martial artists and in how many schools?"

A small guy said, "We don't need to know any stinking martial arts to beat you guys."

Ranma shook his head. "None of you? Give up now."

"Get them!" shouted the large guy.

The guys charged Ranma and Tofu. While they were taken out in short order, the fight triggered more fights. The Raging Night turned into one big fight. Ranma and the others decided to leave, rather than continue the pointless fighting.

"Honestly Ranma, I can't take you anywhere without there being some trouble," Akane said jokingly.

"Is it my fault trouble seems to find me?" Ranma replied in mock defense.

"Of course it is, everything is your fault," Ryoga smirked.

"Not everything is Ranma's fault," Akane corrected. "He's only at fault about half the time."

"Oh, and just who's at fault the remainder of the time?" Ranma asked.

"Everyone else, of course," Akane smirked.

"How much of the time are you at fault?" Ranma asked.

Akane frowned slightly. "Half at fault about our relationship, otherwise no more than anyone else."

The four couples decided to return to the Saotome-Tendo home to have a party there.

The newlyweds returned to joking with each other.

Ryoga was getting nervous as Akari kept on looking at Ranma and Akane, occasionally mentioning something along the lines of how nice it would be to be married.

Kasumi looked at Dr. Tofu warily. He had acted violently towards the person that tried to cut in, and helped start the brawl that followed.

Dr. Tofu noticed how Kasumi was looking at him and apologized for overreacting. He was uncertain about her reaction if he told her why he was acting that way. He decided to avoid seeing her in places likely to cause him to get angry at anyone.

Nabiki was pleased that Kuno was controlling himself and was actually being reasonably friendly towards Ranma.

Kuno had kept an eye on Ranma and noticed that, while Saotome had helped start the brawl he had done so only to help a friend, not enough to convince Nabiki of Ranma being evil.

* * *

Author's Note:

I did a little research for another story about the timing of when women are fertile. Woman are considered most fertile on the 13 to 15th days of a 28 day cycle. So for Akane to be concerned she was pregnant Saturday, she would suppose to have had her period that day or before but didn't. This would place Akane being most fertile before the wedding. This is why Akari noticed a slight timing error. While most girls would be unaware of this, Akari as a pig farmer would breed livestock and would have to know optimal times needed to ensure her female pigs become pregnant.

The legal drinking age in Japan is twenty, so how can all of them order alcohol? Simple, the club, like many clubs in Japan, don't adhere to the law. When anyone can buy a beer from a vending machine, following the law at a bar is almost a joke.


	14. To The Prom

**The Insanity Continues**

**Volume 3 - Anything Goes Martial Arts Dance Contest**

**Chapter 3 - To The Prom!**

_By: Lord Archive_

Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

* * *

It was of little surprise to Yuka and Sayuri to find the dress shop they entered busy. They had less than a week before their school prom, and were looking through the dresses trying to find something they'd like.

"Did you hear the latest rumors?" Yuka asked.

"You mean about Kuno and Nabiki being an item?" Sayuri returned.

Yuka nodded. "That's one of them."

"That one is not a rumor. I saw them dancing when Daisuke and I stopped to see Ranma and Akane at the dance club," Sayuri informed.

"Then it's true that Ranma and Kuno are becoming friends, too?" Yuka wondered.

Sayuri frowned, and not just because of the price of the dress in her hands. "I'm not sure about that, but from what I saw, they were tolerating each other's presence, even though Ranma was still insulting Kuno."

"How did Kuno react to it?" Yuka asked while checking how an exquisite, white dress looked in the mirror.

"He was too busy dancing with Nabiki to hear it. Oh, avoid wearing white, unless you want to scare Hiro away thinking you want commitment," Sayuri suggested.

"Guess you're right about that." Yuka put the dress back. "I heard Ranma started a fight."

"If he did, it was after I left. But I did see Ranma and Akane get into a little insult sparring match. Akane stopped it after each said two insults," Sayuri told her with a smirk.

Yuka shook her head. "You mean they're still having fights, even after getting married?"

Sayuri checked how a blue dress looked. She grinned at her friend. "She ended it by kissing him. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear she was getting turned on by them."

"You don't, because I was," Akane commented, standing with Akari behind Sayuri.

Sayuri became nervous. "Hi, we were just talking about you."

"I noticed." Akane smirked.

Yuka bit back her question as long as she could, visibly struggling to keep from asking it. Finally, though, her curiosity won out. "So... why were his insults turning you on?"

Akane blushed slightly. "Well, during the honeymoon, Ranma told me his insults didn't mean what you'd think. Uncute means, to him, beautiful but not some sweet, innocent, giggling school girl. Macho chick and the other insults about my strength were actually his awkward way of complementing me, but seeing as I took them wrong, he added them to his list of insults."

"What about his other insults, the ones that obviously degrade you?" Yuka questioned.

Akane sighed. "Those were his attempts to point out a weakness for me to correct. I still don't take those very well, so he has avoided saying them since the wedding." She checked what the white dress looked like.

"That would look great on you, Akane," Sayuri said.

"And you don't have to worry about scaring off your date," Yuka added.

"Yeah, but it still looks a little too much like a wedding dress. I don't want to remind Ranma it's kind of my fault we got married as soon as we did," Akane said with a sad undertone.

Akari took the white dress. "I rather like it."

"You might scare off your boyfriend," Yuka said.

Akari smiled brightly. "I'm not worried about that."

"It'd be another hint that she wants to get married," Akane pointed out. "Too bad you can't go to the prom."

Akari nodded. "Yeah, but we could still go to a dance club."

"Why can't you go to the prom?" Sayuri asked.

"Ryoga and I don't go to school," Akari replied.

Sayuri blinked, remembering when Ryoga turned into P-Chan just after Akane's wedding. "You want to get married to the guy who was Akane's pet pig?"

Akari blushed. "Um, yeah."

"Do you know why he was her pet?" Yuka asked, letting curiosity, once again, to get the better of her.

"Well, Ryoga was always alone before, so when Akane showed him signs of affection as her pet, he couldn't help but want to be her pet. Try to imagine not seeing family, friends or anyone who knows you for months at a time. Then someone smothers you with affection. Wouldn't you grab hold of it with both hands? Not wanting to let go," Akari related.

"So that's why he fell in love with me," Akane said.

Akari nodded. "The thought of losing that affection was what prevented him from telling you."

Akane huffed. "I guess I can understand that. I still haven't forgiving him, though. He shouldn't have been my pet. He should've at least told me."

"I understand. I'm not pleased with him for being your pet as long as he was. He probably still would be if you didn't know about it."

"If I hadn't figured it out by my wedding, I hope Ranma would've told me."

* * *

In a different dress shop, Ukyou looked at the fancy western dresses with a lost expression. "I really don't have a clue how to pick one out."

"That is why you asked me to help, right?" Konatsu asked, wearing a kimono.

"Yeah, but this is a bit much, isn't it? I almost never wear a dress and here I am, about to get one of these gowns," Ukyou bemoaned.

"These are what one would wear to a formal dance," Konatsu reminded.

"How am I suppose to fight in one of these?" Ukyou protested.

Konatsu pouted. "You're not suppose to fight in them, only dance."

Ukyou shook her head. "How do I pick one anyway?"

Konatsu gazed at his beloved. "Well, first I'd suggest narrowing the selection down to a color of dress you'd prefer. Blue seems to be your color."

Ukyou nodded. She pulled out a blue dress with green accents. "Ick! Definitely not this one."

"Certainly not," Konatsu confirmed. He flipped trough a selection and pulled out a rather plain blue prom dress.

Ukyou took it and checked it out in the mirror. "It's not bad. Not fancy. I kind of like it."

"I thought you would. Why don't you go see how it fits?" Konatsu suggested.

"Sure, be right back." Ukyou went to a changing room.

Konatsu started to look through the dresses again, waiting for his beloved boss to return.

A saleslady approached him. "Can I help you miss?"

"No. I'm just looking for a dress for my friend," Konatsu replied.

"Already have one for the dance at Furikan?" she pressed.

Konatsu shifted uneasily. "Um... I'm not going to the prom."

The saleslady looked surprised. "Why not? A cute girl like you should easily find a date."

Konatsu started sweating a little. "Well, I don't go to school, so it wouldn't be right for me to go to the dance."

"Nonsense, a girl should experience what it's like to go dancing. Why don't you talk to my son? I'm sure he'd be glad to take a beautiful girl like you," the saleslady pushed.

Konatsu stammered, trying to think of a way out of the hole he somehow had dug himself into.

Ukyou had overheard the last part and was laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny, miss?" asked the saleslady.

"N-nothing," Ukyou tried to stifle her laughing. "It's just that he... er, she isn't interested in boys. She'd rather take a girl."

The saleslady looked at Konatsu strangely.

Konatsu nodded. "Y-yes. I'd prefer girls to boys, which is part of the problem with me going to the dance."

"Er... I see. Sorry." The saleslady quickly left to find some other customers.

"Now she thinks I'm some kind of pervert," Konatsu said sadly.

"You're a guy who's wearing a kimono and you've worn more dresses than me, so technically you are," Ukyou pointed out.

He sighed. "Everyone I know seems to be a pervert of one sort or another."

Ukyou laughed. "Can't really deny that. Several of the people I know have some unnatural outlook towards sex." She did a slow spin. "What do you think of the dress?"

"Looks nice, but we should check other dresses to find the one you like the most," Konatsu suggested.

Ukyou pouted and went back to the dressing room.

* * *

Dr. Tofu entered the Neko-Hanten carefully. He did not want to get in a situation where he'd get angry at anyone. Thanks to the potion that Cologne gave him, he could get angry at someone very easily. "I need to talk to you."

"What is it, Doctor?" Cologne asked, not liking the bitter tone of his voice.

"I'm having a problem with the potion you gave me. It is getting worse. Before I was just a little less pleasant, now I've been downright mean to people I shouldn't be upset with," Dr. Tofu almost snarled at her.

"That is a problem. The thing is, I don't have an antidote for it," Cologne replied.

"You don't!?" Dr. Tofu snarled.

"No, the potion normally lasts for a couple days, or at most a week. If the potion is still affecting you, I'm not sure what to do. It should wear off anytime now," Cologne explained.

"What is the longest possible time it could still be in effect?" Dr. Tofu demanded.

Cologne shrugged. "I don't know."

"Could it be permanent?" Dr. Tofu snapped.

"That is a possibility. I'll check to see if there is a means to correct this," Cologne offered.

"Hurry. I don't want this getting any worse." Dr. Tofu turned and left.

Well, she couldn't use the potion on Shampoo. Cologne sighed. If he gets too bad, I'll have to let him use the Contrary Jewel to hopefully override the effects of the potion. But which way for him to wear it: right-side up or upside down?

* * *

Ranma shook his head as he watched his wife dance to the song they were going to use in the dance contest. While her moves were smooth and pleasing to the eye, she kept missing almost every beat. "How come you're not moving in beat with the song?"

"What? I'm moving in beat," Akane said, confused and a little upset.

He shook his head as he rewound the tape. "Don't dance to it this time, but clap to it."

"Why?" Akane demanded.

"It'll be easier to point out if you're moving in beat or not this way," Ranma pointed out.

Akane scowled at her husband, and decided to prove him wrong. With the music playing, she started to clap to the music. She stayed in beat when the song kept the same speed for several seconds, but when the tempo changed, it took her time to adjust to it. Getting angry at herself for failing, she rewound the tape and tried again, and again. She played the tape dozens of times and was getting ready to smash the tape player into tiny bits.

Ranma shook his head, trying to come up with an idea of how to help her learn to stay in beat with the song. He got a perverted grin as he thought of one means to try. "Why don't we stop for the night. You can try to dance to it tomorrow."

Akane glared at him. "But I have to learn to stay in beat."

Ranma nodded. "I have an idea that should help. We can try it later tonight, but it'll be best if we wait a little first. Why don't you take a bath?"

"Okay, but what's this idea?" Akane wondered.

Ranma blushed. "It's kind of hard to explain."

Akane flattened her lips. "Try to explain it anyway."

Ranma fidgeted nervously. "While making love, we'll play the song."

Akane blinked. "How will that help?"

"Well... our bodies will hopefully move in rhythm with the song that way. By making it part of sex, it might become part of you," Ranma explained.

Akane flashed a perverted grin. "If nothing else, it'll be fun."

* * *

Akane stood in the dojo, clapping in beat to the song that had frustrated her only the day before.

Ranma grinned. "So my plan actually worked."

Akane nodded victoriously. "It sure did. That was an excellent idea."

"I wasn't sure it could work," Ranma admitted.

"It didn't really matter if it worked or not, the plan was fun enough on it's own." Akane gave her husband a seductive look. "We should keep working on that plan for the rest of the week to make sure I can stay in beat, right?"

"Of course." Ranma returned, grinning.

* * *

Ukyou closed her eyes and gathered her thoughts. She then approached Ranma and Akane, who were eating in the school cafeteria, so she could talk to them. She might not have forgiven the girl for stealing fiance from her, but she was getting lonely and wanted to be friends with them again. "Hello," Ukyou smiled nervously.

"Hello," Ranma said coldly.

"Hi," Akane said, placing her foot on top of Ranma's.

"Um, I'd really like to be friends again," Ukyou said.

"Why should we?" Ranma asked. He winced slightly as Akane ground her foot into his.

"We've been through too much together to just let our friendship die," Ukyou pleaded.

Their conversation was interrupted as Happosai ran into the room and quickly groped Akane's chest. Ranma moved to stop him only to get splashed with water and groped as well. The old lech ran off laughing, followed by an enraged Ranma.

Ukyou shook her head and walked off.

Akane sighed in disappointment. She had hoped things would have gone better.

"Where did the old freak go?" asked Tarou.

Akane merely pointed in the general direction Happosai had run off to.

* * *

It was the night of the prom and Akari was a little sad she could not attend it. She was wearing the white prom dress and had gotten Ryoga into a tux. They were walking down a street to a dance club. She turned her head, and stared longingly at her beloved.

Ryoga turned a nervous eye to his girlfriend, though she thought she saw the love behind the fear. "Um, Akari?" he began.

Akari wondered with excitement and nervousness mixed if he was going to ask her something important. "Y-yes?"

"Do you know where we are?" Ryoga sheepishly questioned.

Akari blinked as she looked around and saw they were in the middle of a forest. "I don't know."

* * *

Gosunkugi nervously approached the Kuno mansion. He wore a black suit with a black dress shirt and a red tie. He couldn't believe Nabiki got him a date with someone as beautiful as Kodachi, and only for another fifteen hundred yen. Sure she was a little eccentric, but so was he. He rang the bell at the gate.

A servant opened the gate. "What business do you have here?"

"I'm Gosunkugi, and I'm here to take Kodachi to the Furinkan High School's prom," he replied.

"Ah, yes. Follow me." The servant led the boy to the study room.

Gosunkugi waited nervously for Kodachi to enter. When she did, he was floored by how beautiful she looked in the midnight black prom dress.

Kodachi gazed down at the boy with some anger. "Gosunkugi? What are you doing here? I was told my date, Hikaru, was here."

"Yes. I'm Hikaru, Gosunkugi Hikaru."

Kodachi looked at him in shock.

"You look beautiful. Here, I got this for you." Gosunkugi produced a corsage with a black rose.

"How is it you're my date? You could not possibly have fought Ranma," Kodachi protested.

Kuno entered the room, smirking. "Ah, but he has. He even brought the telling blow to Saotome in one of his battles."

Kodachi blinked. "He has?"

"I guess I have," Gosunkugi said.

This was terrible. How could he possible have beaten Ranma? She could not date with such a weakling. Perhaps this was a ploy of that mercenary, Nabiki, to keep her away from the dance. She couldn't let Nabiki win by not going. He did have good taste in clothes, and she could dump him once they got to the dance. Kodachi took the corsage that Gosunkugi held and put it on. "The night is wasting. Shall we be off?"

Gosunkugi nodded. "Yes."

A servant entered the room. "The carriage is ready, and the dinner reservations are confirmed."

"Very good," Kuno said. "We shall all go to the North Wind after we pick up my date."

"So, who is your date?" Kodachi asked.

Kuno grinned. "The cunning Nabiki."

Kodachi was going on a date with Gosunkugi and her brother was dating HER? Had the powers that be gone mad?

Gosunkugi whispered to Kuno, "The North Wind? I can't afford that place."

"Fear not, for I shall graciously cover the bill," Kuno offered.

* * *

Ms. Hinako, in her adult form and holding a fish bowl, walked around the gymnasium. She checked to make sure all the preparations were completed. She hated the Hawaiian theme decorations that the principal insisted on, but it didn't look that bad.

Ms. Hinako was surprised that Ranma hadn't 'volunteered' his services to help set up the gym as several other students had. Since Ranma married Akane, he's stayed out of trouble. Ms. Hinako had always liked the girl because of her strong sense of right and wrong and tended to enforce it with a firm hand. It didn't hurt that she was also attracted to the girl's father. Akane had affirmed the teacher's faith by keeping Ranma out of trouble for most of the past month.

Ms. Hinako straightened out her dress, waiting for Soun to arrive. She smiled at the fighting fish in her fish bowl. She may not be able to use them all the time, but for events like this, they were perfect. She still cursed herself for not taking them to the wedding. She had thought there would've been a lot more fighting.

"Hello, Ms. Hinako," Kasumi greeted.

"Um, hello Kasumi. Where is your father?" Ms. Hinako asked.

"He had some prior plans, and asked if I could come in his place," Kasumi informed.

"What? Why..." Ms. Hinako was getting upset. "Why didn't you inform the school?"

"I did inform Principal Kuno of this," Kasumi replied.

Ms. Hinako scowled. "You did?"

Kasumi nodded. "Yes."

"You watch over things here. I've got something to do," Ms. Hinako ordered.

"Okay." Kasumi smiled.

Ms. Hinako walked off to the school offices and set the fishbowl down her office. "If I'm going to be an adult tonight, let it be off some lustful delinquents."

* * *

Dr. Tofu wondered if he should've called in sick. He really shouldn't chaperon for the prom, considering Cologne's potion. But, he had promise to help. Maybe the potion had worn off.

Dr. Tofu sighed as he entered the gym, hoping for the best. "Kasumi, hello. What are you doing here?"

"Hello, Dr. Tofu. I'm a chaperon for the prom. Are you one too?" Kasumi smiled.

"Yes." Dr. Tofu smiled in return.

Ms. Hinako cursed as she saw the chaperons greet each other. If she couldn't have HER date, why do they get to have one?

* * *

Yuka smiled at her date as they entered the gym. They were among the first to arrive. Sayuri and Akane hadn't arrived yet, so she had some time alone with him. He was rather handsome. She still couldn't believe he had asked her out. She wondered what it'd be like if she made love to him. She knew her mother and Akane have been saying she should wait. But Akane seemed to be a lot happier now that she's gotten married and done the deed.

As if on cue from Yuka's thoughts, Ranma and Akane entered the gym. They were absolutely gorgeous. Akane was wearing a stylish red dress. But only a few people gave the couple a second look.

Kuno and Nabiki came in arm-in-arm several minutes later. This turned many heads, not only because many of the students had a hard time seeing those two as a couple, but also because Nabiki's golden dress exquisitely complemented Kuno's ceremonial Samurai garb.

It was hard to make out the couple that followed them, since they blended into the night's sky. This couple was a bigger shock than Nabiki and Kuno. Kodachi and Gosunkugi walked into the gym, both completely covered in black.

* * *

Akari wasn't sure how to explain it, but every time she closed her eyes for a long period of time, Ryoga had led her somewhere that she didn't think they could've made it to from where they were. She looked at a sign, that said Kyoto was only eighteen kilometers away. She shook her head at the sight wondering how they had gotten there.

Akari shut her eyes and kept them closed for several minutes. When she opened them she saw that they were in Tokyo business district. She shut them again and thought of the school prom Akane was at. Several minutes passed and she heard music. Maybe they were near a dance club. She opened her eyes and then blinked. They were inside a school. "Let me lead now," Akari requested.

Ryoga shrugged. "Ah sure. Do you know where we are?"

"I think we're at Furinkan High." Akari followed the music to the gym. She smiled at the sight. They were indeed at the school.

"What are you two students doing?" chibi-Ms. Hinako demanded angrily.

Akari looked and the child strangely.

Ryoga answered. "Um, sorry. We got lost on our way here."

"You haven't snuck off to do anything, have you?" Ms. Hinako demanded angrily.

Ryoga blushed. "No. No. I'd never do that."

"I wish he would," Akari whispered longingly.

"Be sure that you don't. Now get in there and stay out of trouble," Ms. Hinako snarled, fingering a five yen coin.

Ryoga and Akari entered the gym from the school's entrance.

"Who is she and why is she so angry?" Akari mused.

"She's one of the teachers here. As to why she's angry, I don't know," Ryoga replied.

Akari looked at him strangely. "She's a teacher?"

"She's a lot older than she looks. She has the ability to drain chi, and when she does, she temporarily grows older," Ryoga explained.

"Oh," Akari said. She spotted her friends, and dragged Ryoga over to them. "Akane, Ranma, hi!"

Akane smiled. "Hi. How were you able to get in? I thought they were only letting students in."

Akari blushed. "We sort of came in from a different entrance."

"You mean he got you lost and led you in here?" Ranma quipped.

Ryoga glared at Ranma.

"In a way," Akari confirmed.

Ryoga deflated a little. He was uncomfortable at how easy it was for him to get lost, and yet Akari had no problems with it. He couldn't get upset at her for mentioning that curse, because she meant no harm by it. She actually thought it was kind of cute.

* * *

Author's Note:

I am perfectly aware that Ryoga has never demonstrated any sort of teleportation ability in manga or anime. That every indication is that he walked, and in one case rode, the vast distances he covered. The scene was done as a joke and as a method of getting him into the dance.


	15. Dance for Your Life

**The Insanity Continues**

**Volume 3 - Anything Goes Martial Arts Dance Contest**

**Chapter 4 - Dance for Your Life**

_By: Lord Archive_

Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

* * *

A carnival, or should it be called a Hawaiian, atmosphere permeated the Furinkan High School's gym was filled with second and third year students. The school held it's first dance that any of the students could remember being at the school, and the students were intent on enjoying it.

The gym had tables and chairs set up slightly off center. This created two dance floors, which the smaller of the two was used for judging.

The first dance to be judged was a waltz. Only Kuno, Nabiki, Kodachi and Gosunkugi elected to use this dance for the dance contest. Kodachi and Gosunkugi moved with surprising elegance, but Gosunkugi showed that he only had a little knowledge of the dance. Kuno and Nabiki, however, danced exquisitely to the song as if they were one, setting a near perfect score to beat.

Hiro and Yuka danced to the third song. It was not a spectacular performance, but earned them a B for gym.

Daisuke and Sayuri also danced to the third song, completely upstaging the other half dozen couples. They moved with a fluid grace one wouldn't expect to see except from the martial artists. Their score was second only to Kuno's and Nabiki's.

Ranma and Akane prepared themselves as they were to dance to the fourth song. Surprisingly they were the only couple to elect this song, which confused the newlyweds. The song was pretty popular, so they couldn't understand why no one else was going to dance to it.

The music began and Ranma and Akane started to dance. They moved in unison, as Ranma either copied or mirrored how Akane moved. They broke form a couple times to perform a complicated move together. Actually to say they were dancing would be a technically wrong, as it was more of a kata than a dance, including intentional missed punches and even aerial jump kicks. Once ended, the gym erupted in applause. Ranma and Akane bowed once and quickly got off the dance floor.

"That was great," Yuka cheered.

"Thanks," Akane replied, winded. "Do you know why no one else danced to the song?"

Yuka nodded. "Once word got out which song you and Ranma were dancing to, everyone decided not to dance to that song. We figured there would be no hope to top you two since it is a contest and we all know how competitive Ranma is. We all decided to dance to other songs."

"Oh, were we that good?" Akane asked.

Yuka looked at her strangely.

"What do you mean we tied with Kuno?!" Ranma was heard shouting.

Yuka smirked. "Looks like you've been robbed. You tied for first."

"Really? First, that's great." Akane went over to Ranma with the intent of stopping him from doing anything really stupid.

"How come she didn't think she did well?" Hiro asked.

"Akane hasn't been very confident about anything since Ranma arrived. She was the greatest martial artist before he showed up, and then in a matter of months a half dozen people showed up, each capable of defeating her easily. She's always wanted to be the best in something, but Ranma unknowingly took that from her," Yuka explained.

Hiro looked confused. "How did she fall in love with him then?"

Yuka shrugged. "Maybe it's because despite the fact she's the least skilled of the girls that chased Ranma, he still loved her."

* * *

Kasumi shook her head as Dr. Tofu roughly broke up two people who dancing a little too closely, or more precisely looked like they were about to kiss. This was the third time he had done that. He had also yelled at another two students he thought were 'wandering off,' whatever he meant by that.

* * *

Ranma went to get some punch for Akane and himself when one of the windows to the school gym shattered.

"BWAHAHAHA!" Happosai laughed until he saw where he was. "Whoa momma! I've died and gone to heaven."

"You're not dead yet, but you'll soon be in hell if you don't do as I say!" Tarou shouted as he chased after Happosai.

Happosai ignored him as he started jumping from one girl's breasts to another.

The girls started shrieking and the guys failed miserably to help their dates. Several guys got slapped as their attempts caused them to touch their date's chest.

"Stop ignoring me and fight!" Tarou demanded.

"Oh, Ak..." Happosai started to say in one girl's chest until he sensed Pantyhose Tarou launch a punch at him. He jumped away.

Akane was unable to see Happosai until he had grabbed onto her. The shock of the old lech grabbing her prevented her from reacting to Tarou's attack. She was hit squarely in the chest by his fore-knuckle punch and fell down in pain.

Ranma saw Tarou hit Akane and slammed his shoulder into Tarou's chest. The Chinese young man was sent flying several feet.

"Akane, are you all right?" Ranma asked.

She gasped for some air. "Yeah. I'm fine."

Kuno also Akane getting hit. "Who is he that hurts Saotome Akane?" he wondered.

"Oh, shit. That is Pantyhose in his human form," Nabiki answered with shock, fear, and anger.

Kuno's eyes took a predatory gleam.

"Get him," Nabiki commanded coldly.

Pantyhose stood up, shrugging off his blow. "Looks like you've gotten a little faster fem-boy. It was a mistake for me to hit your wife, but it was a bigger mistake for you to hit me. For that I'll make you pay."

"There is no way you can beat me Pantyhose," Ranma replied, hovering protectively over Akane.

"Oh, you'd need a lot of help to stand a chance," Tarou taunted.

"Attacking one in his own territory and you don't expect for him to have friends within arms reach? Thou are truly foolish," Kuno said, bokken at the ready. He stood on Ranma's left.

Ranma blinked in surprise not believing that Kuno, of all people, just refer to himself as being his friend.

Ryoga cracked his knuckles as he moved to Ranma's right. "You'll pay for hurting Akane." The walking tank charged Tarou, who side-stepped. As Hibiki passed, Pantyhose slammed his fist into the boy's back.

Kuno rushed next, shouting, "TATATATATATATA!" Tarou didn't dodge Kuno's multiple strikes, rather he grabbed the bokken and flung the kendo master into a wall.

"Kasumi, please help Akane get out of here," Ranma pleaded.

"I can still fight!" Akane said fiercely.

"But Akane, the baby," Kasumi reminded.

Akane looked at her waist, and knew she couldn't risk fighting, especially against Tarou. "Ranma, be careful."

"I will." He faced Tarou as he flung Kuno away. "You're going down nylon-boy!" he snarled. Akane needed him, loved him, depended on him. Her love was his power now, his confidence. He built up energy from his emotions and let them fly. "Mokou Takabishi!"

Ryoga feared his mistakes were the reason Akane never loved him and were going to cost him Akari as well. He had even been right there and failed to protect Akane from Happosai or Tarou. He let his fears, depression and angst form into a ball of energy. "Shi Shi Hokodan!"

Tarou jumped out of the way as the two chi blast collided explosively, sending the combatants and several spectators flying several feet.

Many of those attending the prom felt now was a good time to leave.

Ranma jumped at Tarou, which he responded with a round-house kick to the stomach, knocking Saotome out of the air. Ranma quickly got up and pressed his attack. After getting struck once in the back by Ryoga, Tarou ducked as a second punch was thrown. That punch connected with Ranma as he was doing a jumping spin kick, it sent him flying.

Tarou turned to faced off against Ryoga. "Come on bacon-breath, can't land a hit except when my back is turned?" Tarou taunted as he landed a couple blows.

Ryoga's anger building up as his attacks failed to connect, hating how the Chinese man was slightly faster than Ranma. Fortunately his own hardened skin shrugged off most of the blows.

Ukyou watched the battle, cursing the lack of her combat spatula. She held a couple throwing spatula's waiting for a chance to use without risk of hitting anyone but her target. Suddenly she noticed a movement above her and saw her giant spatula fall in front of her. She didn't know whether to thank Konatsu or chew him out for spying on her, but she was certainly glad to see her weapon of choice.

Konatsu, hanging from the ceiling, sent a volley of shurikens at Tarou. The target moved out of the way and he cursed himself as the metal stars to cut into Ryoga.

Dr. Tofu had been waiting of to the side of the battle waiting for Tarou to move close enough. That last dodge placed gave Tofu the opportunity he wanted, but Pantyhose noticed him move for an attack and punched him into a wall. Dr. Tofu collapsed, unconscious.

Tarou readied himself as he was being surrounded by several martial artist, even if they did look odd wearing formal clothes. Three or four martial artists of the level of his opponents he had trouble dealing with, but five would really be pushing it.

"Foul demon, I SHALL SMITE THEE!" Kuno bellowed as he attacked. Tarou grabbed him and threw him at Konatsu.

The ninja caught Kuno while hanging from the sprinkler pipes. The combined weight caused the pipe to bend and then break. They both fell and the broken pipe sent water everywhere.

Tarou started laughing evilly as the first drops of water hit him.

Those fighting Tarou cursed as he transformed into his monstrous curse form.

Ryoga spouted more curses as he transformed into a pig.

Ranma grimaced as he transformed into a girl, this had gone from bad to worse.

The remaining spectators to the battle now ran out of the gym.

* * *

"Sweet bliss," Happosai said, smothering his face into a midnight black prom dress.

"Ack! Die you perverted monster!" Kodachi snarled, trying to pry him off by his neck.

Gosunkugi pulled out a candle and lit it. He place the candle at Happosai's back.

"Yeowch!" Happosai leapt away and patted the flames out that threatened to burn him.

"Thank you, Gosunkugi. I'll handle him from here," Kodachi said, whipping her gymnastic ribbon at Happosai.

"You'll pay from separating me from my lovely." Happosai dodge the ribbon and tapped Gosunkugi with his pipe, sending the boy flying off into the night's sky.

"No you'll pay you foul creature." Kodachi hissed as she attacked Happosai in earnest, while he gleefully played with her.

"Happo Go-en Satsu!" chibi-Ms. Hinako shouted, missing Happosai and hitting Kodachi instead. "Damn," she muttered. "Happo Go-En Satsu! Happo Go-en Satsu!"

Happosai dodged behind various students while Ms. Hinako tried to drain Happosai's chi.

"Happo Tsurisen Gaeshi!" Ms. Hinako cried out, sending the stolen energy out in a blast that shot a hole through the gym, yet missed the geriatric delinquent who had dodged.

Happosai pouted at her. "Is this any way to treat the man who saved your life? Who gave you your powers?"

"And how much a life you gave me? I'm either an enthusiastic child or an emotionless adult. I am only fulfilling the only role you've provided me." Ms. Hinako grinned as the sprinkler were activated, now everyone would leave and she'd make sure Happosai wouldn't.

Ms. Hinako tried several more times to drain Happosai's chi but he just wouldn't stay still long enough for it to work. She needed to get him distracted long enough to hit him. She grimaced as the most acceptable idea that came to her is to flash the pervert her breast.

She did...

He was distracted...

He was drained.

Ms. Hinako ground her foot into his withered face.

* * *

Ukyou attacked with her combat spatula, only to have Tarou rip it out of her hands and bent it over Ranma's head. Ukyou retreated, knowing her close-combat skills meant nothing to this monster without her main weapon. The monster threw the twisted metal away.

Kuno sneered at the monstrous form of Tarou. "You are truly a demon in spirit, and I shall destroy you!" He rushed at his foe.

Tarou pounded down on Kuno with both fists, sending the young kendo master to slumber-land.

Female Ranma took the opportunity and attacked. "Mokou Takabishi!" She blasted at Tarou's head, connecting.

Tarou cursed. Hating the 'little girl' who had just give him a headache. He turned and attacked.

Ranma dodged the attacks and having minimal return in counter-attacking. Tarou caught Ranma in his monstrous hands and sent her flying into a wall.

Ukyou and Konatsu moved into to attack, sending waves of throwing spatulas and shuriken at Tarou.

Ranma shook her head, recovering from the blow. She noticed Ryoga, still in pig form, was by her feet. "Hey P-Chan, think you can do a Shi Shi Hokodan in that form?"

Ryoga nodded.

Ranma grinned. "Good. I have an idea." She then whispered to him. "Akane has been planning roast piglet. She never liked you. In fact she always thought you were a nuisance. Akari only loves you as a pig..."

Ukyou cursed as she ran out of throwing spatulas, as she didn't think she'd need more than a hundred. Konatsu wasn't in much better shape as he moved to restaurant bills that didn't do much more than add several paper-cuts on Tarou's already bleeding body from numerous spatula and shuriken hits.

"Hey Pantyhose, hold still for a moment!" Ranma shouted as she jumped over Tarou, dropping Ryoga onto his head.

Tarou grunted in disgust and tried to shake the strangely glowing pig off.

"Ewk Ewk Bukuweep!" the black piglet squealed as it fired off a Shi Shi Hokodan on Tarou's head.

Tarou staggered from the blast, and then swatted Ryoga flat onto his head. This only added to the large headache the monster had gotten from the fight. The piglet feel off Pantyhose, unconscious.

The young Chinese man really needed to reduce the number of opponents. He grabbed a table and threw it at Ukyou and Konatsu. Ukyou dived to the side, while Konatsu got smashed by a second table thrown just after the first one and was staggered from the blow.

The monster laughed evilly as he thought of how to limit the battle to just Ranma. He started to fly towards the ceiling.

"Happo Go-en Satsu!" cried Ms. Hinako as she joined the fight against Tarou.

Tarou felt his chi drain from him and wondered how that was possible. He floated to the ground.

"Mr. Saotome, you are a delinquent and must be punished for fighting. Happo Tsurisen Gaeshi!" Ms. Hinako sent some of the chi she drained at Ranma.

Ranma dodged the blast, shouting angrily, "Pantyhose started it, and he hit Akane. What do you expect me to do? Say, 'it's all right, you can beat up my wife.'"

Ms. Hinako blinked. "Sorry. I was not aware he had done that. I was busy handling the ancient delinquent."

"Next time make sure the person is guilty before draining or blasting," Ranma complained.

"Ranma! Are you okay?" Akane shouted as she ran into the gym.

"I'm fine," he replied. "How are you?"

"I said I was fine before. I'll just have a bruise in rather unpleasant place." Akane looked at the withered monster. "What are we going to do about him?"

"Tis a simple matter we destroy him," Kuno, having recovered slightly from his injuries, said holding one of Ukyou's throwing spatulas.

"No," Ranma said coldly. "We won't kill him."

"This foul demon hurt your wife and has done unspeakable evils and you say he should live?" Kuno asked incredulously.

"Pantyhose is not currently a threat. Killing him would be cold blooded murder," Ranma retorted.

"Tis not murder, it's justice. He has threatened the life of your wife and unborn child, yet you wish such evil to exist. He needs to be destroyed," Kuno demanded.

Ranma stood firm. "No one's life is endanger, so there is no need."

"Would you not kill to protect your wife?" Kuno questioned angrily.

"I would and ha..." Ranma stopped herself. "She is not at risk!"

"Kuno! Let's just change him back to human form and tie him up," Akane suggested. "We'll figure out what to do later."

"Oy! They've made wonderful gym is a mess," Principal Kuno said.

"Principal Kuno, might I suggest that you give those involved in the fight a choice of whether to clean up the gym and keep their gym grade, or don't and get a failing grade," Nabiki suggested evenly.

Principal Kuno debated for a moment. He wanted to put Ranma in his place, but he also needed the gym cleaned for a sports event tomorrow. At least he'd get to see Saotome do menial work. "A splendid idea. Glad I thought of it."

Nabiki glared at principal Kuno as he left to inform the others of their choice.

Dr. Tofu awoke from his blow from Tarou to find Kasumi tending to his injuries. "Is everyone okay?" he asked.

"They're fine. You and Ryoga seem to be the most hurt," Kasumi answered.

"Wish I had the recovery powers these kids have. I was taken out by a blow Ryoga wouldn't even feel," Dr. Tofu said enviously.

"Dr. Tofu, I don't think we should see each other anymore," Kasumi said sadly.

"W-why?" the doctor stammered.

"I always thought you were kind and caring and didn't have a mean bone in your body, but you've been hostile to the students, started that fight in the dance club, and been generally negative towards others," Kasumi told him sadly.

Dr. Tofu's heart sank at her words. "Kasumi, please let me explain. There is a reason for my recent uncharacteristic actions."

"Please don't make this harder for me," Kasumi pleaded.

"Let me explain!" he shouted.

"Dr. Tofu, please don't do this. It's for the..." Kasumi stopped speaking as she saw him raise his hand as if to slap her.

The doctor then stared at his hand and ran.

"I thought he was better than that," Kasumi said on the verge of crying.

"He is, Kasumi," Akane said sadly. "His actions have been caused by a potion he got from Cologne. In order for him to have been in control while he's with you, he took a potion that made his feelings more negative. By loving you less, he could remain in control. It seems the potion has gotten worse. I hope it wears off soon."

Kasumi stared at the spot where Dr. Tofu had been, not sure what to think of what just happened.

* * *

Hiro and Yuka walked away from the school. Both of them were a little wet because they didn't leave until after the sprinklers were broken.

"I can't believe they still had a fight. At least their gym grade will get hurt," Hiro commented bitterly.

"It wasn't their fault. It was Pantyhose's fault. He hurt Akane, and you now how they feel about her," Yuka replied.

"If it wasn't for them our prom wouldn't have been ruined," Hiro pointed out.

Yuka looked at him knowingly. "Oh, you didn't seem to mind the fight until the sprinklers were broken."

"This suit was a rental and now it's a mess. They'll make me pay for it, and I don't have that kind of money," Hiro bemoaned.

Yuka shook her head. "It's just water, they're not going to make you pay for it."

"I hope so." He grinned as he got an idea. "Seeing as you're not expected home just yet, why don't we go to my house?"

Yuka shrugged. "Okay."

Hiro smiled devilishly as he led Yuka to his home. When they arrived he unlocked the door, opened it and turned on the lights.

"Um, where are your parents?" Yuka asked.

"Dad is probably at a business party. He might be home after one. Mom is, well, out," Hiro answered with some bitterness.

Yuka became nervous as she sat down on the couch next to Hiro. She was alone with him at his house. She had let the idea of having sex with him run through her mind many times, but now obviously given the chance words from her Mom and Akane ran through her mind about being too young.

Hiro leaned over to her and started to kiss her.

Yuka accepted the kiss easily enough. It certainly felt nice, even if she felt awkward and nervous. As she started to pull away shyly, his hand covered and massaged her breast. And that didn't feel 'okay' to her at all. She pushed him away. "Hiro, no!"

"Oh, come on. I know you want it." Hiro moved in for another kiss.

Yuka held him back. "I'm not ready for this."

Hiro grinned at her. "Now, Yuka-chan. I know you want to have a child, and I can deliver."

"What gave you THAT idea?" Yuka demanded.

"I heard you say it to your friends. Don't you want to have your child go to school with Akane's?" Hiro rationalized.

Yuka slapped him. "I want a husband first!"

Hiro rubbed his cheek. "You can't have everything you want." He grabbed her arms. "I can give you some of what you want."

Outside of Hiro's home a high pitched scream was heard. A moment later Yuka stomped out of the house muttering curses on Hiro and his family.

Hiro walked funny, going to his room. "She'll pay for that," he promised in a high pitched tone marked with pain.

* * *

Author's Notes:

Obviously I'm not a subscriber to the cliche: Ranma always wins. He hasn't always won when it counted, let alone random fights.

Pantyhose Tarou was intended to be a marital artist above Ranma. A threat he can't handle alone. Yes, Ranma has managed to beat him, but never without any help. The main issue with this battle was not Tarou being able to stand up to multiple Nerima martial artist, he has done that before in the manga and won, it's that Ranma and Ryoga went to their chi attacks so quickly. Rarely do they go to the flashy big moves, only using them when the situation warrents it. While Tarou is certainly a big enough threat, if they were going to beam spam him, they would've done so during their last fight with Tarou in the manga.


	16. Clean Up

**The Insanity Continues**

**Volume 3 - Anything Goes Martial Arts Dance Contest**

**Chapter 5 - Clean Up**

_By: Lord Archive_

Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

* * *

Female Ranma grumbled as she and many of the martial artists in Nerima helped cleaned the results of the massive battle with Pantyhose that brought a sudden end to Furinkan High's prom. She didn't have much choice to help. It was either this or ruin the only perfect grade she has on her report card, her gym grade. She was happy at least that they had turned off the sprinkler system.

Ukyou approached Ranma, she was going to try to talk things over yet again. Hopefully, this time, they could settle things. "Ranma?"

"Hi, Ukyou," Ranma greeted without much emotion.

Ukyou pouted. "I'd like to talk. This has gone on too long."

Ranma didn't say anything for a moment, and then said hesitantly, "All right, talk."

"Ranma, I'd like us to be friends again. I know I shouldn't have told the school. I was just angry at you saying I was a consolation prize."

"I didn't say that!" Ranma protested.

Ukyou glared at her. "Yes you did. You said I was someone to fall back on if Akane ever dumped you."

Ranma remained quiet for a moment, and then sighed. "I should've tried to explain it to you before. I should've at least explained it after the wedding attempt."

"Why didn't you?" Ukyou demanded.

"Remember when I walked in the day after the attempt?" Ranma asked.

Ukyou nodded. "When I apologized for bombing it."

"Yeah. Well, I wasn't really paying attention when you said it. I had just overheard Akane and Nabiki talking and heard she was bribed to marry me. If I hadn't heard that, I probably wouldn't have forgiven you that soon, but would've explained that I wanted to marry Akane someday," Ranma admitted.

Ukyou huffed. "You were just scared that Akane didn't love you."

Ranma looked indigent for a second, but then looked down. "Yeah. I was."

Ukyou shook her head. "You strung me along because you couldn't face being rejected alone. You're a real jackass, you know."

"You're telling me you wouldn't be happy if Akane ever did dump me and I went to you," Ranma shot back.

"Of course, I'd be happy. You should've at least told me that you were in love with Akane. That I only had a chance if she dumped you," Ukyou retorted.

Ranma leveled his gaze at her. "If I did do that, you would've done everything in your power to see that she did, wouldn't you?"

"No. I..." Ukyou withered under Saotome's glare. "Yes, I would."

"I couldn't just tell you, because it would've hurt you and I had enough trouble with Akane without you getting desperate trying to separate us," Ranma explained.

Ukyou sighed. "I can see your point. But what you did was still wrong."

"And what you did was wrong too," Ranma returned.

"Ranma, I'll forgive you for being a jerk, if you forgive me for what I did," Ukyou offered.

Ranma didn't answer for a moment. He saw Akane standing behind the girl, glaring at him. He sighed. "I forgive you."

Akane smiled brightly.

"Friends?" Ukyou asked with hope. When she was answered with a nod, she promptly hugged Saotome.

Akane's smile twitched.

Ranma pushed the girl away. "I suggest you don't hug me though. Akane might not like it."

Ukyou frowned. "I can't see why hugging my friend would be a problem. She just has to learn to not be jealous."

"Hello, Ukyou," Akane said with a little coldness to her voice.

"Er, hi, Akane," Ukyou said nervously. "Um, can you forgive me for what I've done?"

"If you can forgive me for marrying Ranma?" Akane replied.

Ukyou hesitated for a moment. "Sure. Friends?"

Akane nodded. "Friends." She was promptly hugged by Ukyou too. She noted that her hug wasn't nearly as strong as the one Ranma got.

* * *

Akari and Ryoga finally returned to the gym after getting some hot water. She went over to help Akane and Ukyou clean, while he wanted to talk to Ranma, and was thankful he was off to the side by himself at the moment. "Hey."

"What is it?" Ranma asked, still in her female body.

"I want to know something, why didn't you go all out?" Ryoga asked.

Kuno stared incredulously. He had though his 'rival' had been in rare form, yet he was capable of more? He stopped to listen in.

Ranma looked away. "What do you mean?"

"You were holding back. You weren't fighting the way you were in China," Ryoga pointed out.

Ranma remained silent for a moment. "I really didn't see a point in the fight."

"He hurt Akane. That isn't a good enough reason?" Ryoga wondered.

"Well, it is... but I guess..." Ranma stared at her hands. "I didn't want to risk killing him."

"Ranma, he's a dangerous opponent. He wouldn't hesitate to kill you. It'd be right to kill him in battle," Ryoga protested.

Ranma glared at his friend. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

"What do you mean by that?" Ryoga asked, looking confused.

"Even with all the times you've screamed death threats at me, you haven't killed anyone, have you?" Ranma spat.

Ryoga shook his head. "No I haven't. I don't understand your point."

"My point is that you've never delivered a fatal blow. You've never cut short someone's life," Ranma hissed.

A grin began to form on Kuno's face. It would seem that the vile Saotome had killed someone. Finally proof that he is evil!

"What are you talking about? You've never killed anyone," Ryoga countered.

Kuno frowned.

"What about Saffron? His body may have been reborn as an infant, but what of his mind? The Saffron I fought is not the same one that's alive now," Ranma retorted.

Kuno grinned again.

Ryoga was at a loss for words. He hadn't give much thought to what happened to Saffron after the final battle at Jusendo. "So... um, why are you reluctant to kill someone like Pantyhose?"

"As much as I hate him, the worst he's done is hurt Akane. That isn't a good enough reason to kill him," Ranma replied.

Ryoga shook his head. "I say it is."

"I doubt you'll say that after you've killed someone." Ranma's voice was frigid.

Ryoga couldn't think of anything more to say.

Kuno, realizing he wasn't going to hear anymore from them, decided to approach Nabiki with this information.

* * *

"Why aren't you cleaning the gym?" Principal Kuno asked.

Nabiki looked at him without any emotion. "I wasn't involved in the fight, so I have no reason to clean. I am only here because my date and my family are still here."

"Well, you do understand that since Tachi was involved in the fight, you won't be awarded first place," Principal Kuno taunted.

"I don't really care about the prize, seeing it holds no monetary value. I'm happy enough to know I've technically won that contest," Nabiki commented flatly.

Principal Kuno glared at this cold girl that was dating his son. He would've liked to have seen some emotion from her.

"Nabiki, I shall words with you," Kuno said, grabbing his date and leading her away.

"What is it, Kuno-chan?" Nabiki wondered.

"I have discovered proof of Ranma's evil," Kuno told her.

"Oh, and what is this 'proof?'" Nabiki wondered skeptically.

"I have heard the vile Saotome admit to murder," Kuno related.

Nabiki blinked. "And did he say as to who he killed?"

"I believe he said it was Saffron," Kuno replied.

Nabiki shook her head. "Well, Ranma did, sort of, kill him, but he wasn't given a choice. Saffron was preventing Ranma from getting some special water that Akane needed or she would die. Saffron's ability to regenerate meant the only way Ranma could defeat him was with a fatal blow. If he didn't do it, Akane would die. So, to save the girl he loves, Saffron had to die."

Nabiki then glared at Kuno. "He was given more than enough reason to kill Saffron. Saffron had already nearly killed Akane once before and was fighting Ranma with the intent of killing him. Ranma had more reason to kill Saffron than you do in wanting to kill Pantyhose or Ranma."

"I-I see." Kuno stood there staring at Nabiki. "He has killed in combat to save the life of Akane. A noble gesture indeed." Kuno turned and left.

* * *

Everyone gathered after finishing cleaning the gym. "What are we going to do about those two?" Akane asked, pointing at Pantyhose and Happosai.

Ranma grinned. "I have an idea. I need some of Kodachi's paralyzation roses, some large boxes..."

* * *

The prom had set people a buzz with talking. Few could believe that Daisuke and Sayuri were awarded first prize winners of the dance contest. Even more unbelievable for them was that Kuno and Nabiki were not only dating, but had tied with Ranma and Akane as the actual first place winners, if they hadn't been involved in the fight.

Several rumors had been spread as a result of the prom. One of those rumors caused Akane to glare angrily at Yuka as she sat under a tree about to eat lunch. "How could you do that? I thought better of you!"

Yuka sweated nervously. "What are you talking about?"

"What you did with Hiro, that's what I'm talking about," Akane spat.

Yuka started to become angry. "He had it coming."

Akane's eyes widened. "What?! How could you say that?"

Yuka folded her arms. "Because he was a jerk."

"You did THAT with him because he was a jerk?!" Akane cried out.

Yuka huffed. "You've probably done that to Ranma."

"That-that's different," Akane stammered.

"How so?" Yuka demanded.

"Because I'm married to him," Akane retorted.

"You've done that to him after you married him?" Yuka questioned in confusion.

Akane looked at the girl strangely. "Of course."

Yuka paused for a second. "I don't think we're having the same argument. What is it you think I've done?"

"Had sex with Hiro," Akane stated coldly.

"What?! No!" Yuka looked disgusted. "I'd never do that with him. He tried to rape me, so I kneed him where it really hurt."

"That's not what the rumor horde has been spreading. Hiro has been saying you did it with him," Akane returned.

"Since when have you put stock in what they say?" Yuka retorted.

Akane shook her head. "It's just that I know you want to have a baby, and you might have done it with him for that reason."

"I did think about it. I almost did." Yuka sighed. "But when I had the chance, I remembered what you and my Mom said about being too young. For now I'll just be happy to be an aunt to your child."

"Good." Akane eyed the girl skeptically. "You're sure you didn't have sex with him?"

"Of course, I'm sure," Yuka said bitterly. "What am I going to do about that jerk? He's not going to get away with this."

Akane grabbed her friend's arm, saying, "Let's get Nabiki to help."

"I don't have any money to spend on your sisters 'help,'" Yuka protested.

Akane scowled slightly, dragging the girl along. She was a little surprised to find Nabiki eating lunch with Kuno. She didn't expect her sister to show any form of conformation that she was dating him. "Nabiki, we need your help with something," Akane called.

"Would this help have anything to do with what Hiro is saying about her?" Nabiki asked.

Akane nodded.

"Is it true?" Nabiki questioned.

"No," Yuka said fiercely.

"Do you have any means to prove it?" Nabiki asked seriously.

Yuka shook her head. "Um... why should I have prove it?"

Nabiki frowned. "Because he already has most of the school believing it. It's now his word against yours. I hate to say it, but his word carries more weight around here."

"May I ask, what it is that you are talking about?" Kuno asked.

"Hiro has been saying that he had sex with her after the prom," Nabiki answered.

"He dare claim such fallacy?" Kuno demanded.

"He is," intoned the girls.

"I shall smite him for thee." Kuno moved to stand.

Nabiki grabbed his arm. "Hold on Kuno-chan. Running off and beating him to a pulp may be fun for you, but wouldn't address the wrong he's done."

"Thou will help her against his foul lies?" Kuno asked.

Nabiki wagged her finger. "Now you know I don't do anything for free."

"I don't have any money to spend," Yuka said.

"I'm sure I can make it worth Nabiki's while to help you," Kuno said flatly.

"Okay. Now how to prove he's lying?" Nabiki asked herself aloud.

"We could try and catch him in his lie," Akane suggested.

Nabiki thought for a second. "It's really hard to do that. The only way I can think of doing it is if we can get Hiro to describe how it felt, and then get someone who knows what it's like to point out he's lying."

"Well, um, Ranma could do that," Akane offered, blushing slightly.

"He could, but I doubt you want him to since he would have to describe what it's like to make love with you to prove it," Nabiki countered.

Akane's blush depended. "Oh."

"I shall make him admit to the untruths that he has spread," Kuno said.

"Intimidate him to confess." Nabiki grinned as a plan came together in her mind. "Akane, I'd like to get Ranma's help on this. We'll make him sing like a bird."

"He certainly can hit the high notes," Yuka grinned.

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "How would you know this?"

"Well, he tried to rape me, so I kneed in very bad spot." Yuka raised her right knee quickly to emphasize her point.

Kuno squirmed a little at the insinuation.

* * *

Several guys were gathered around Hiro, listening as he supposedly described what it was like to have sex.

"...And then she was moaning in a rather high pitch," Hiro continued his description as Kuno appeared behind him.

"Tis not what I heard. I heard it was you who emitted a high pitch noise. A noise not coming from acts of passion, but the knee of a maiden pure." Kuno sneered, "You are the lowest creature I've had the displeasure of meeting. I demand to resend your lies, or I must smite thee."

"They are not lies. The little slut was an easy score," Hiro protested, and then ran seeing Kuno holding a bokken at the ready. He didn't run far before running in to something and fell down.

"You know, for once, I actually agree with Kuno," Ranma commented, standing above Hiro. He cracked a couple knuckles. "Now why don't you tell me what really happened."

Hiro started to describe his version of the story, the one where he had sex with Yuka and even included some description of what it supposedly was like.

Ranma shook his head. "Now I know you're lying. I can't explain why you're wrong 'cause Akane would hate it, but I know you haven't had sex with anyone."

"So tell us what truly occurred or incur our wrath," Kuno sneered.

Hiro looked at the two martial artist looming over him. He gulped. "I told you the truth."

Ranma picked up a rock and crushed it in his hand. "No you haven't."

Hiro started to sweat. He couldn't admit he lied, because he valued his manhood possibly more than Ranma did when he arrived Nerima. Admitting to lying would make him look foolish and unmanly, but not admitting to lying would cause him a considerable amount of pain.

Ranma grew impatient. "Kuno, can I see your bokken for a second?"

"What do you want with it?" Kuno asked, handing it over.

"Just a little practice." Ranma started striking out with the bokken above and to the left of Hiro. The speed of the strikes increase to the point the air pressure was tearing chunks off a tree several feet away.

Kuno sneered at Ranma. "Copying my tricks now?"

"Sort of. The basis of this trick is to use rapid strikes placed in a controlled circular motion to produce a small tornado like effect. With my speed training, I might be able to do it with my fists alone, without needing your weapon." Ranma looked and saw Hiro making a run for it. He flung the bokken so it would land just in front of Hiro, stopping him cold. "Now don't be an idiot and just admit to lying."

"Why don't you admit to having sex with your other fiancees before getting married?" Hiro nervously shot back.

Ranma blinked. "Excuse me? I've only done it with Akane."

Kuno glared at Saotome. "I knew your vile acts knows no bounds."

"Who are you going to believe: me or that liar?" Ranma demanded.

Kuno folded his arms. "I am more inclined to believe him than you."

Hiro took the chance to run only to find a fist in his face.

"I am the only girl Ranma has ever made love to," Akane sneered. "And, I am positive of that, Kuno."

"Are you sure he has not deceived you?" Kuno asked.

"Yes." Akane turned her gaze back to Hiro, who was lying on the ground. "Now you've not only insulted my friend, but my husband as well." She picked him up by the collar. "You will now tell us the truth as to what happened after you left the prom with Yuka."

Running from Kuno and Ranma was proving to be a mistake, a rather painful one as Akane's fist pointed out. His only hope to escape any more physical pain was to tell the truth, at least partially. "I, ah, walked her home. N-nothing happened."

Akane glared at him. "That's closer to the truth, but give us the details of what happened."

Hiro shifted uneasily. "I-I walked her to my house. We started kissing. I tried to go for more, but she didn't want to and left."

"To make this perfectly clear: Did you have sex with Yuka?" Akane demanded.

Hiro shook his head. "No."

"Did you try to rape her?" Akane growled out.

"Yes." The look in Akane's eyes would've made him give the same answer even if it wasn't true.

Akane looked toward some bushed. "Did you get all that?"

"Every word," Nabiki said, stepping out from hiding and holding a tape recorder. "Now Hiro, if you don't want this tape played to your parents and certain authorities..." She grinned evilly, "...You will inform the school that you were lying. Yuka will come up with some additional punishment later. Once that occurs, you will get this tape back."

Hiro just wanted to curl up and die. If Nabiki, Akane, Ranma, and Kuno were against him, he might as well be dead.

* * *

Dr. Tofu sat in the corner of his office. He had not opened his clinic since the prom. He wasn't quite sure what day it was. All he knew was the potion that he got from Cologne had gotten to the point where he had almost slapped Kasumi, and he wasn't about to risk hurting her or anyone else.

"Dr. Tofu?" a woman's voice called through the clinic.

"K-Kasumi, go away. I don't want to hurt you," Dr. Tofu replied.

"I won't go away. I want to help you," Kasumi pleaded.

"Please go," he cried.

Kasumi finally saw Dr. Tofu, shaking her head at the sight. "I know about Cologne's potion. If it hasn't worn off yet, you should be working to cure it, and not sitting, here, in the dark."

"There isn't a cure," Dr. Tofu informed sadly.

"If there is a potion that causes people to have their reactions become negative, then there should be a means to make a potion that turns their reaction positive," Kasumi pointed out.

Dr. Tofu blinked. Why hadn't he thought of that? "You're right. I should try to fix this."

Kasumi smiled at him.

"Does this mean I'll get another chance if I can find a cure?" Dr. Tofu asked with hope.

"Yes." Kasumi saw him return her smile, but then also saw his glasses fogging. She gasped seeing that the potion had already worn off.

Dr. Tofu started laughing and dancing with Betty-chan. He then went through the wall and out into Nerima.

* * *

The Jusenkyo guide looked at the package he received strangely. It was a large crate with some air holes. He looked at a partial note written on the crater, [Dump contents of crate into Nannichaun. Do n...] The remainder of the note was damaged to the point of being unreadable.

The guide shrugged and sent his daughter to fetch a crowbar. She returned with it and he used the crowbar to open the crate. Inside was Tarou in human form with a bouquet of black roses on his chest. The guide picked up the flowers.

Tarou started coughing. He then quickly stood up. "THAT CROSS-DRESSSER DIES!"

"Good Sir, you want to know where Nannichaun is?" the guide asked.

Tarou look at the guide with a malevolent grin. "No, but I'd like to know where some other pools are."

* * *

Happosai opened his eyes and screamed as he found himself in a crate and staring at a VERY ugly woman holding some black roses.

"Sister, do you think he'll be any good? He's pretty old," the woman asked.

"I don't know. Hey, isn't he the guy that blew up our tea shop?" another woman asked.

"Yes. That worthless step-daughter of mine left for that strange girl after he destroyed our shop. We haven't been able to get anything done without Konatsu," another lady said bitterly.

Happosai freaked at the sight of the three ugliest women he's ever seen in his entire existence. He never wanted to see them again, but Ranma must have mailed him here.


	17. Mondays Are Hell!

**The Insanity Continues**

**Volume 4 - One of Those Weeks**

**Chapter 1 - Mondays Are Hell!**

_By: Lord Archive_

Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

This volume is a little different than the previous volumes. The volume is more of unrelated insanity. Also, one character from Maison Ikkoku makes a guest appearance in this volume, as well as a cameo appearance of characters from a Clamp series.

* * *

_Akane's Diary Entry: February 13th, 1994._

_Dear Diary,_

_ Besides principal Kuno wanting us to 'endorse' his new uniform design with an ugly Hawaiian print by wearing them, the past week has been rather quiet. That worries me. No new martial artists, no real fights, no bizarre contests, nothing but one insane idiot we all try to ignore anyway. While I like the peace, I know it'll end. This is going to be a bad week. I know I'm being a little paranoid, but living with Ranma it's more of survival instinct. The fact Dad and Ranma's parents are staying for the week, Mousse is now using Happosai's room, and tomorrow is Valentine's Day helps support my bad week theory._

_ I'm showing signs of morning sickness a little sooner than Dr. Tofu expected. I can expect to start throwing up in the next couple days. Oh, joy. I'll have to see him soon to make sure it's not a sign of a complication with my pregnancy._

_ I've quit the volleyball team. I know I didn't really have to, but Dr. Tofu said I had to watch how much I exercise and that I'll start being a little weaker physically. That means I'll no longer be able to put all my effort into playing the game. If I can't put 110% into it, I might as well not even try it. Ranma is happy about the decision. I just hope he doesn't start to get even more protective of me, he's already starting to get on my nerves._

_ Ukyou is reopening her restaurant Friday, and she has Nabiki helping her attract customers for it. It promises to be a big party. I hope nothing spoils it, but I'm willing to bet Ukyou's will be closed Saturday for repairs. I'll try to not be the cause of it, but I can't promise it. Despite Ukyou saying she's forgiven me for marrying Ranma, I really doubt she has. She's been colder to me now than she was when Ranma and I faked being married last year._

* * *

The young substitute teacher approached his new assignment, teaching at Furinkan High. It was nice to get out of the madhouse he called home. It was great being able to leave all that insanity behind and go someplace sane. He sighed. If it wasn't for the fact Kyoko lived there, he would have been long gone. He wished he could spend more time with her, but he did have to make a living.

Godai looked up at Furinkan High as it loomed before him when he heard, "You won't take Madeline from Azusa!" He crashed to the ground as a cute, pint sized roller-blader carrying a golden Buddha ran over him.

Godai tried to pry himself off the sidewalk when he was run over by another roller-blader. "Put that back!"

Godai groaned and wobbled as he made it to his feet looking at the two as they disappeared down the street. He was then run over by a bunch of Buddist monks screaming obscenities at the two roller-bladers.

He tried again to stand up, and promptly was run over by several police officers.

A chair landed on the prone teacher knocking him unconscious. "Get back here, you JERK!" Akane yelled.

"I said I'm sorry already!" Ranma yelled back, dodging a brick that Akane had thrown, his feet briefly running over something oddly soft that was laying on the sidewalk.

Akane seethed. "Sorry isn't good enough! I spent all morning cooking breakfast, and you couldn't appreciate it!"

"Hey! I only threw up because you did!" Ranma retorted.

"Stupid jerk! That was morning sickness!" Akane growled, throwing her book-bag, which Ranma failed to dodge. She didn't notice the guy she stomped over as she went to pick up her book-bag off her dazed husband. "Come on, let's get to class."

Ranma shook his head and followed, muttering, "Uncute."

"Who's the speed bump?" Daisuke asked.

"Probably a substitute," Hiroshi replied.

"How long do you think he'll last?" Daisuke wondered.

Hiroshi examined the comatose teacher. "Hmm... Still breathing. I give him until Friday."

"You're being generous, Thursday," Daisuke countered.

"Brownie points?" Hiroshi asked.

"Can't hurt." Daisuke shrugged.

Hiroshi and Daisuke picked up Godai and took him to the nurses' station.

* * *

Godai limped into what was suppose to be the principal's office, but seemed more like... Hawaii?

"Aloha! You must be Godai, the substitute teacher, yeah?" Principal Kuno questioned.

"Ah, yes," Godai answered, staring dumbly at the man with a palm tree growing out of his head.

"Now, keiki, you must be ready to face some baaad students. One in particular is a really bad coconut. Keep your eye on Saotome Ranma, and any punishment you want to place on him is okay with me." The Hawaiian reject grinned and handed the young sensei his teaching assignment. "You better hurry to class. You don't want to be late."

Godai nodded and left. He thought he would d never meet anyone more insane than his neighbors. He looked at the office sign and read the principal's name. He would have to make sure Kyoko never rents room nine to him.

* * *

"Here comes a sucker just waiting to be robbed," a masked man commented.

"I don't think we should rob him," another man replied.

"Why not?" the first wondered.

"Well, every time we try to rob him, someone interferes and we get our asses kicked," the second pointed out.

"You're just being paranoid," a third masked man commented.

"We've tried to rob him twelve times, and NONE of them succeeded and you're telling me I'm being paranoid!" the second retorted.

"Shut up. The chances of against him being protected today are way too high. He's a sitting duck," the fourth masked man said firmly.

"You all owe money to Nabiki, don't you?" the second masked man asked.

The other three replied with a nod. Then the four of them committed to the attack, and pulled their target into the alleyway.

"Oh, no. Not again," Gosunkugi moaned while he was being dragged.

"All right, voodoo-boy, hand over all your money," the first masked man demanded.

"Or we'll have to hurt you," added the fourth.

"I can't give you my money. Nabiki will have my hide if I don't pay her today," Gosunkugi pleaded.

"We don't care," commented the third masked man.

"How dare you threaten that wonderful, brave, little man?" a voice asked behind the attackers.

They turned and looked at the leotard clad Black Rose holding her ribbon and poised for attack.

All four gloomily cursed their life.

"You must be punished." Kodachi attacked, and her targets ran like their lives depended on it.

Gosunkugi stared in shock at Kodachi.

"Miserable vermin." She sighed. "Oh, my dear Gos-chan, are you all right?"

Gosunkugi could not believe what just happened, so he fainted.

"Oh, dear. If I see that trash again, I must hurt them severely. Now I have to get him some help." Kodachi picked up Gosunkugi and took him to Furinkan High's nurses' station. She was a little surprised that Kuno wasn't there. She stayed with him for a couple minutes, but she had her own school to go to. With a sigh, Kodachi placed a package of chocolates on his chest and left.

* * *

The young sensei began class. He got the normal range of responses. Most of them had a glazed look. A few actually looked interested. One girl looked like she might be developing a crush on him and he prayed she wouldn't be like that last girl. The class began to drone on only to be punctuated by an occasional fart or belch. The source seemed to be a girl with raven hair, but no girl could be that rude.

Akane sat in the class with a glazed look and a slight blush. She couldn't stop herself from emitting gas from one exit or the other. Ten minutes before class would end she shifted in her seat uncomfortably. She had to go the bathroom. She stared at what seemed to her to be a broken clock wanting desperately for the class to finish. Fifty seconds later, she couldn't take it any longer- she had to go NOW. Akane dashed out the classroom door.

Godai blinked in surprise at the girl running out of his class. She was that rude. "Miss, where do you think..."

~~~fitz***-CRACK-***

Godai stood agape as an... energy beam(?) barely missed him. The girl leaving the class turned and glared at someone, but he couldn't tell who, he was trying to understand how part of the chalkboard just exploded. The young sensei didn't know how to answer his own questions, so he decided to go with the old stand-by method of dealing with something that didn't seem sane- ignore it. After a minute, Godai regained his thoughts and resumed class.

* * *

Ukyou sat under a tree, eating lunch alone. She didn't want to be alone, especially today. Valentine's Day, a day to celebrate love, and yet the guy she loved shacked up with someone she thought was a friend. Ukyou sighed. She didn't have to be alone right now. She could eat lunch with Ranma but he was with Akane and she had no desire to see her. She knew she could be eating with any number of guys at the moment, and while it did feels nice getting attention from them, there wasn't even a guy she liked enough to give chocolate to. At least those guys weren't as bad as those chasing Shampoo. Ukyou stabbed her lunch.

"Aloha, wahine. You know being out of dress code is kapu," principal Kuno grinned.

"I'm wearing a school uniform," Ukyou shot back.

"Yeah, but my little wahine, you wearin' a guy's uniform. You're a girl and should be dressed like all da other wahine's." Principal Kuno pulled out something that looked like a girl's Furinkan dress uniform, but it had a gaudy Hawaiian pattern. "You must put dis on, or da big kahuna can't let you back to class."

Ukyou looked at him like he was insane. "Are you completely color blind? That isn't a school uniform."

"Oh, but it is an acceptable school uniform!" Principal Kuno insisted.

"Not to me. Go annoy someone else," Ukyou said angrily.

"You must follow the rules, wahine," the principal insisted.

"The school rules, not yours." Ukyou, fed up with his nonsense, whacked him with her combat spatula. Moments later a splash was heard from the other side of the school. "Damn, he fell in the pool."

* * *

Gosunkugi stared at a note attached to a now empty box that had held chocolate. He wished he had enough sense to keep it away from a certain child-like teacher. At least Ms. Hinako hadn't eaten the note.

He sighed while looking at the note. Well, actually it was a love letter. A love letter to him from a beautiful and rich woman. Stuff like this doesn't happen to geeks like him. Yet, here he was sitting under a tree reading a poetic note of Kodachi's love for his bravery.

Bravery, HA! He was the biggest coward he knew. Just because he was too stupid to run from the ancient lech while trying to help Kodachi, she thought he was braver than her great ex-love, Ranma.

Gosunkugi laughed at that. Who could believe ANYONE would ever say he was braver than the thief who stole Akane's heart, let alone a girl that had loved Ranma? He couldn't, but that's what Kodachi wrote in the letter.

Gosunkugi looked at the postscript for the hundredth time.

_ "I hope it's not too forward of me, but I desire to see you _  
_ again. If you would like, you may visit me at my mansion after _  
_ school today, say around four?"_

A date. A second date at that. He couldn't believe his luck, but wasn't going to turn it away either. Who knew where this could lead.

* * *

"Man, I'm glad to be out of there," Ranma moaned as he walked home with his wife..

"Oh? I thought you liked taking pot shots at substitute teachers," Akane replied bitterly.

"Come on, Akane, he was going to stop you from goin' to the bathroom," Ranma retorted.

Akane glared at her husband. "So what? You don't try to take a teacher's head off for doing his job." She stopped just as they arrived at Dr. Tofu's clinic. "I need to check something. I'll see you later."

Ranma shrugged. "Don't be late for dinner." With that he rushed off.

Akane glared at his retreating form, knowing his eagerness for diner was because his mother was cooking. She turned and entered the clinic, and announced herself at the door. She blinked when Dr. Tofu enter the room, glasses fogged. "A-A-Akane, what are you doing here of all places?"

"Um, is Kasumi here?" the young Saotome asked.

"K-K-k..." Dr. Tofu had the look of pure bliss on his face and passed out.

Akane didn't know what to make of it. She first picked up the doctor and deposited him on one of the examination tables. She then looked around a little bit and saw an opened journal. Concerned for the doctor, she looked at the journal. 'Potion of Friendliness,]'it read at the top of the page.

Akane shook her head. Kasumi had mentioned that potion Cologne gave him had worn off. If he drank a friendliness potion, he would love everyone. If he saw Kasumi in this state, he would... who knew what would happen, but she was sure it wouldn't be good. She sat down, and tried to think about what to do once the doctor woke up.

* * *

Ranma continued to walk home with his usual troubled thoughts, Akane and their unborn child. He became sidetracked when he noticed the street in front of him was littered with unconscious guys. He walked over to a tree to talk to the only conscious guy of the lot. "Hey, Daisuke, having fun?"

"Yes. Loads of fun. Can you get me down?" Daisuke pleaded, hanging upside down from the tree.

Ranma didn't move to help. "What exactly happened here?"

"We tried to defeat Shampoo. She won," Daisuke bemoaned.

"You tried to defeat her?" Ranma asked, shaking his head.

Daisuke laughed sheepishly. "Well, this trap was meant for her."

Ranma chuckled dryly, and then jumped straight up and broke the rope, causing the boy to fall on his head. "Do yourself a favor, and forget about trying to beat her. Even if by a miracle you win, do you think you can live like a housewife, 'cause that's what you'll be."

Daisuke rubbed his head. "So that's why you didn't choose her."

Ranma shook his head. "No, that was just one of a long list of reasons. I'll see ya later."

"See ya," Daisuke replied, finding it hard to stand after hanging upside down for several minutes.

Ranma walked off and soon arrived at home. He noticed Akari standing out front with a lost expression on her face talking to his mother. "Hi, Mom, Akari. What's up?"

"Hello, Ranma," Nodoka greeted him warmly.

Akari smiled weakly at him. "Hi, Ranma. Um, Ryoga and I were out for a walk and... but... I sort of lost him. Since we were close by, I thought he might have come here."

Ranma chuckled. "Aw, you know Ryoga, he'll turn up in a couple days."

"I know," she said meekly.

"If any of us see him, one of us will bring him right back home," Nodoka said.

"Thank you." Akari looked a bit relieved.

"Ranma, where's Akane?" Nodoka asked.

"She had to see Dr. Tofu about somethin'," Ranma answered.

"Okay. Akari, would you like to stay for a while?" Nodoka offered.

"No. I should get back home soon or Katsunishiki might come looking for me," Akari replied.

"Why don't you walk her home then?" Nodoka asked her son.

Ranma shrugged. "I guess."

"There's no need. Really," Akari protested.

"A young girl, like you, shouldn't walk by herself," Nodoka insisted.

"Okay, thanks," Akari reluctantly agreed.

Ranma walked Akari to Ryoga's house, making idle small talk along the way. He noticed a sumo wrestler that was watching him and briefly wondered if he'd have to fight him soon, but his thoughts turned to thinking about what his mother was cooking for dinner.

* * *

Dr. Tofu woke up with a smile on his face. To him the world was filled with love and happiness. All was right with the world.

"Oh, Dr. Tofu, you're awake," he heard the cute Saotome Akane say with a hint of disappointment.

"A-Akane, what are you..." Dr. Tofu began to say.

"Now Dr. Tofu, what was with taking that friendliness potion?" Akane questioned harshly.

Dr. Tofu cringed at her tone. "B-but Cologne's potion. It..."

"It had worn off already. Didn't you notice that?" Akane told him.

"I almost s-slapped..." Dr. Tofu's world was suddenly filled with pain. He started to cry.

Akane sighed. "I know that. But when, ah, my sister came to see you after that, you weren't under the effects anymore."

"I wasn't?" the doctor questioned.

"Right. The potion had worn off. I'll take your notes on your potion to Cologne, to see if she can help with it." Akane leveled her gaze at the doctor. "I suggest you stay here, and not try to fix this."

"O-okay," Dr. Tofu answered her.

"Now do you have any appointments?" Akane asked.

"Well, there's Mizu-san, who has a check-up on Friday for her wrist. Otherwise, no," Dr. Tofu informed.

"Good. I suggest you don't take any patients until this wears off." Akane grabbed Dr. Tofu's notes and turned to leave. "I'll stop by later."

"Um, Akane, was their some reason you came here in the first place?" Dr. Tofu asked.

"Oh, um, I've started experiencing morning sickness. You said it shouldn't start until I'm about six weeks pregnant, so I was worried..." Akane's voice became rather nervous.

"Well, it isn't that unusual to start in the fifth week, but it could be a sign of a problem," Dr. Tofu said in a serious tone. He went over to his files and pulled out Akane's rather sizable one. He looked it over for a couple minutes, not finding anything in the previous test that could be the cause.

Akane watched him nervously, and praying no one walks in while he held her medical file.

Dr. Tofu tried to think about possible causes. "Now, Akane, how have you been eating lately?"

"Fine. I guess," Akane replied uncertainly.

Dr. Tofu frowned, not wanting to ask the question, but he had to for her sake. "Have you been doing most of the cooking?"

"Yes," Akane replied, wanting to know why he asked that.

"Well, right now your stomach is very delicate. The smell of dairy products and fish will likely cause you to become nauseous." Dr. Tofu closed his eyes, and took a long breath. He really wished he didn't have to do this, but it was for his patient's best physical health. "Also, has your cooking improved to the point you're as good as K-K-K..."

"No," Akane interrupted him.

Dr. Tofu regained his composure. "Ahem, while I'm sure your cooking is fine, maybe it'd be better if you let her cook."

"Why shouldn't I cook for my family?" Akane asked a bit upset.

"Now Akane, you must realize that when you eat, your not just feeding yourself now. You are also feeding your child," Dr. Tofu pointed out.

"I know that. So what's the point?" Akane demanded.

"Don't you want to give your child the best food possible?" Dr. Tofu pressed.

Akane nodded. "Yes."

"So shouldn't the better cook prepare the food for you? It would also limit your exposure to certain smells that would make you sick," Dr. Tofu reluctantly told her.

"But Dr. Tofu, if I don't learn how to cook now, when will I ever be good enough for my children?" Akane questioned.

"Akane... you can still cook some foods, but you and the baby would be better if someone else cooked most of your meals," Dr. Tofu suggested.

"Thank you, Dr. Tofu. I-I'll follow your advice." Akane walked out of the clinic, trying to fight her tears.

Dr. Tofu watched her leave, and set down her medical file. He then collapsed to his knees and started to cry at hurting such a beautiful and lovely young woman.

* * *

Gosunkugi ran. He ran from the Kuno mansion like his life depended on it. He couldn't stand another moment of hearing Kuno spouting poetry to Nabiki- who he noticed was wearing earplugs, Kodachi's laugh, her aristocratic attitude, her pet alligator, her pet man-eating plant that kept calling him Seamore, nor her attempts to get him to 'seduce' her; so he gave a lame excuse about having to be home for dinner and bolted.

Gosunkugi chuckled a little as he dashed down the street. His cowardice proved one thing, Ranma had been as much a coward as he was in dealing with Kodachi since they came up with the same response to her: run away.

When Gosunkugi made it home, he let out a long sigh all the while he was gasping breath. He knew if anyone found out he ran out on a date Kodachi they'd think he was gay or something. He wasn't, he was scared. Her presence was too commanding, too overbearing. He could hardly breath or think around her, and it wasn't because he was attracted to her. He was, what guy couldn't want a girl with that kind of body? But her personality extinguished his like a blazing inferno snuffing out smaller fires by taking away their fuel.

Gosunkugi gulped, realizing something. Kodachi wasn't through with him yet. Unless he did something, she'd chase after him like she did Ranma. Problem is, if he did find a way of getting rid of her, she'd beat the crap out of him first. "What am I going to do?"

* * *

Kasumi hummed as she cleaned the stairs. It amazed her how she was able to clean the house when she was the only one really taking care of the chores after Ranma arrived. Now with Nodoka and Akane helping keep the house clean and cook, she still found chores to do. She wondered how she ever kept up, especially when she had to do so many wall repairs.

Akane returned home, and called sadly, "I'm home."

"Welcome back, Akane. Is something the matter?" Kasumi asked, noticing a couple tears on Akane's face.

Akane looked at the floor. "I'm not a good enough cook for my child."

"Why do you say that? You're food is perfectly fine," Kasumi said reassuringly, even though her little sister's food left a lot to be desired.

"It may be 'fine,' but it isn't great. If someone should cook for me and my child, it should be you or Auntie Saotome. I'm just not good enough yet." Akane walked around her eldest sister on her way to her room. "Oh, don't go to Dr. Tofu's for a while. He took a potion that did the opposite of Cologne's."

Kasumi gasped. "But Cologne's potion already wore off."

Akane sighed. "I know. A long time ago I hoped he would've reacted to me as he did today. Fortunately for Ranma, he didn't."

* * *

It was now late into the evening and a man leaned against a large metal tower. He hated his curses, and recently wondered which one was worse. Right now he'd say his direction sense. Thoroughly disgusted with himself by getting lost while walking with Akari, Ryoga shouted, "WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW?!" He then walked off.

A blond-haired girl wearing a green dress called to her friend, "Come on, Hikaru. We don't have much time left."

A red-haired girl tore her gaze from the cute but strange guy and replied, "Coming."

The two girls, along with a blue-haired girl entered an elevator of the large metal tower.

* * *

Ranma looked up from his geometry homework. "Akane?"

Akane looked at her husband and noticed the pleading look in his eyes. She sighed knowing it wasn't because he needed any help with the assignment, he was actually doing better than her in that class. She realized what he wanted and wondered briefly about why she hadn't done this sooner today, but he'd been pretty insensitive. She reached into her book-bag and handed the package she had hid inside it to him. "Here."

Ranma blinked at the slightly mangled package. "Thanks."

"What? Wanted more chocolates?" Akane asked with a hurt tone.

Ranma shook his head. "Huh? No... it's Valentine's Day, isn't it?"

"What?!" Akane fell out of her seat. "How can't you know that?"

Ranma shrugged. "It's not important anymore. I mean, were married now."

"Oh... so what did you want?" Akane wondered.

Ranma scratched his head. "Um, I'm having trouble figuring out the area for part of a circle."

Akane massaged her temples. "I've spent the last five minutes trying to figure that out myself."

Ranma yawned. "Well, let's forget homework and go to bed."

Akane shut her textbook. "Best thing I've heard all day."

* * *

Author's Notes:

Maison Ikkoku residents all have a number in their name relating to their room number. Godai has go in his name which means five. Kuno means nine abilities.

If you think the metal tower is the Eiffel Tower- you're seriously mistaken.


	18. Love Loves Trouble

The Insanity Continues

**Volume 4 - One of Those Weeks.**

**Chapter 2 - Love Loves Trouble**

_By: Lord Archive_

Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

* * *

"Now Ranma, you need to be in a proper uniform," principal Kuno announced.

"Ain't no way I'm wearin' one of those stuffy uniforms. They don't fit at all if I get wet," Ranma retorted.

"Can't allow you inta class, if ya don't wear dis uniform." Principal Kuno pulled out an outfit that had a similar cut as the male uniform, but it bore a gaudy Hawaiian pattern.

Ranma punted the deranged school head master into a wall.

Principal Kuno pulled himself free. "Oh, damn. Baaad principal. Should of known having no plan would be worse dan having several, even if none of da plans worked before."

* * *

Akane frowned watching the substitute drone on about history. She knew she was definitely going to have a Saotome child, her appetite was ravenous. Right now she felt like she could eat her desk, metal and all. She eyed her lunch and really wanted it. She thought it over, and realized by now the teacher should know she was pregnant and that this was a necessity. Without a second thought, she started eating lunch.

Godai almost said something to the rude Saotome girl but her brother's hands were glowing with the same color light as that beam that damaged the chalkboard. When class ended he decided to talk to them but was too late, Ranma grabbed Akane and jumped out of the classroom, which was on the third floor.

* * *

Cologne hopped on her staff toward her newest mission, hardly dangerous, but likely one of the more humorous. At least the most humorous while going through it, as many had found her childhood adventures with Happosai a source of great amusement. She arrived at her designated location and knocked on the door.

A moment later the door opened to reveal Dr. Tofu grinning like maniac. "Oh, my. Why hello Cologne-chan. What brings you here? Certainly nothing I can help you with."

Cologne blinked. Akane wasn't kidding, he looked like a schoolboy in love and he was staring dreamily at the elder Amazon! If only she was a hundred years younger. She clear her voice. "Actually I'm here to help you."

"Oh, right. It seems I'm a bit too friendly, if there is such a thing. Would you like some tea?" Dr. Tofu offered.

Cologne sighed. "Not at the moment. Please lets go to the examining room to talk."

"As you wish." Dr. Tofu happily obliged.

Cologne giggled like a schoolgirl, watching the doctor skipped towards that room. It had been ages since anyone acted like that towards her. "Please sit down."

"Anything you want, Cutie." Dr. Tofu nodded and sat down in his chair.

Cologne's eyes widen and then she shook her head. Ah, to be young once more. "I want to examine you."

"Normally I get to examine the girls, but sure," Dr. Tofu chirped.

Cologne decided this potion would definitely have some uses. The council head, Chan Peng, could certainly use a dose. The matriarch began to test the doctor's chi balance, and wasn't surprised at her find. "Your chi is a bit off. It is currently more of the lighter side of your soul. That's why it lasts so long. It'll take a while to readjust back to normal... maybe a couple weeks. An appropriate shock may speed up your recovery, but I advise against it."

"I'm perfectly happy the way I am." The doctor smiled.

"I'm sure you are. Just be careful about who you see," Cologne advised.

"I will. And Cologne-chan, you will come back for a visit?" Dr. Tofu looked at her with pleading eyes.

Cologne always had a weakness of that love-sick-puppy-dog look she was getting, and blushed. "Certainly." She left quickly. She REALLY wish she was eighteen again. She sighed and then shuddered remembering what eighteen-year-olds went through. Then again it's better to be young at heart than in body... but it doesn't hurt.

* * *

Kasumi smiled as she walked with her younger sister to the market. She was a little ashamed at how happy she was to have her kitchen back. The problem was she only got it back from her sister because morning sickness made it difficult for Akane to cook anything without throwing up. So for at next couple months the duty to cook for the family was hers and Nodoka's, that was exactly how the eldest Tendo daughter felt it should be until her little sister learned to cook without turning her beautiful kitchen into a terrifying mess.

Akane sulked a bit walking next to her older sister. She hated the fact that Dr. Tofu practically ordered her out of the kitchen. She needed to cook for her family and guests. That was her duty as the lady of the Saotome-Tendo home. She couldn't even cook for herself and her husband. So what if her progesterone levels had suddenly went through the roof, she had a family to take care of. Akane sighed. She could help at least help Kasumi shop for food.

The market street was full. The dull roar of people buying and selling goods filled the sisters' ears.

Kasumi practically swam through the market like a shark snagging the best deals that often improved when she would gently smile at the salesman as he rang up her order.

Akane tried to keep pace, but was having trouble. It would be so much easier if she could plow through the crowd, yet her older sister moved through them like a mist. After a while of trying to keep up with her sister, she sighed in defeat and decided to do some shopping on her own. Passing by the various vendors, she couldn't help herself and bought some leftover Valentines Day chocolates on sale.

Akane munched on the chocolate amazed at how that while she craved it, it also made her a bit nauseous. Not that she was going to let a little upset stomach prevent her from eating what her taste buds wanted.

"Now miss, tell me if this isn't the freshest fish you ever smelled?" A salesman said shoving a whole tuna fish under Akane's nose.

Akane hadn't been paying much attention until the overwhelming scent of dead fish wafted through her nostrils. Her eyes crossed as she looked down at lifeless corpse. She knew what was going to happen now, and there was nothing she could do about it.

The salesman saw the girl turn an ugly shade of green and tried to pull his hand back away from her, but was too late. The fish and his arm were now dripping of vomit, and he could only look at the 'fresh fish' in ghastly horror.

Akane blushed and raised a hand to cover her mouth. "I...I'm so sorry! I couldn't stop it."

The vendor in the next sales booth was rolling on the floor laughing. "Suzuhara, you idiot. You deserved that!"

"Shut up, Aida. I'm just trying to sell fish. How am I suppose to now she's allergic to fish?" The fish salesman scowled, tempted to 'clean' his arm on other vendor's stuff rather then the cloth towel he was now using.

The other salesman snorted. "Allergic?! That's Saotome Akane, you brainless twit. Everyone knows she's pregnant!"

Akane wondered if you could die from embarrassment, because she wanted to. First throwing up on a complete stranger and then having someone else, who she would swear she didn't know, was talking about her like she's some celebrity that has her entire life made public knowledge.

"Saotome?! Pregnant?!" The fish salesman looked at Akane, who nodded. "Erm, sorry... my mistake..." He handed the girl a somewhat clean towel to clean herself with.

"Oh, Akane, there you are. Are you all right?" Kasumi called. She looked uneasily at the fish salesman.

Akane shook her head. "I want to go home, Sis."

"Oh, my. Did my little sister ruin that fish?" Kasumi asked, looking at the trashcan where the fish salesman had put it.

The salesman chuckled lightly. "Um, you could say it's my fault. Gotta learn not to be so pushy."

Kasumi eyed the other fish he had for sale. "At least let me buy a fish from you. It wouldn't seem right to not do at least that."

"Ah, sure," the salesman agreed sheepishly.

Kasumi quickly selected a fish and wrapped it herself and paid for it. She held her sister lightly as they walked back home.

* * *

Akane sighed, working on homework had never been this tiring. Well, it wasn't the homework that made her tired but she didn't want to blame the true cause since she preferred not to think to about it too much, just one out of every five minutes.

She closed her literature book and was pretty much ready for bed. "Ranma, are you done with your homework yet?" She was answered with a snore.

Akane turned to look at her husband who was sleeping face down in his English book. She shook her head and giggled. She went over to the bed and lifted Ranma's head to remove the book and then set him back down gently onto the pillow.

Akane sighed again, deciding against waking him up. "Can't have sex with him every night," she muttered. She undressed and put on her pajamas. She giggled slightly, realizing it was the first time in almost a month she actually undressed herself before going to bed. She curled up to her husband and soon fell asleep.

* * *

Akane growled. For the third time that night she had woken up to go the bathroom. She wanted to find whoever coined the term 'Morning Sickness' and beat him to a bloody pulp. It certainly wasn't a woman, because she would know that sick feeling lasted twenty-four seven and certain things that came with it that don't happen in the morning but in the middle of the night. Okay, so her bladder control was worse than when she was being potty trained at any point of the day, however it was intolerable in the middle of the night.

Akane wanted to slam the door when she left, but stopped herself. It wasn't Kasumi's fault that she was pregnant and didn't want to chance waking her up. If she wasn't asleep, everyone else be damned.

Akane entered her room and shut the door behind her with more force than was needed. She glared at her husband. He was the cause of her suffering. It was his seed that was growing in her, making her nauseous and near complete loss of her ability to stop herself from peeing.

Akane stomped towards her bed, her eyes narrowed at her husband and shook him awake.

Ranma opened his weary eyes and looked at his wife. "Akane? Is something wrong?"

Akane's eyes were unfocused for a brief second and then snarled, "Yes! We didn't have sex last night." She kissed him passionately and her hands started to roam across his body.

Ranma returned her kiss and reciprocated her actions. He didn't know why she woke him up, but he was not going to complain.

* * *

Godai was starting to really dislike this history class. The Saotome twins really unnerved him. The girl was belching up a storm and the boy was balancing five pencils, point down, on the back of his hand. He really wanted to talk to them and express his displeasure, but just after class ended a girl came up to him and asked him for his phone number. He spent the next five minutes explaining he was not available and that she look for someone her age. When that didn't work he left the same way the Saotomes did, through the window. That tree outside the window was a god send as he only received a few scratches from the branches verses whatever the ground would do to him.

* * *

Ranma frowned. Lunch had just started and Akane had just taken one whiff of her food and ran for the bathroom. He hoped she'd get better soon, but knew it might be months before then. He noticed Kuno approaching and wondered why he looked ready to fight.

"Saotome, I wish to spar with you," Kuno said flatly.

"Spar?" Ranma blinked. "Why?"

"Nabiki has made a point of telling me of my 'less than par' skill in the art and I ask that you help point out where I error in my skills." Kuno smirked. Nabiki said he couldn't fight the deceiver, but she said nothing about sparring with him, and injuries can happen while sparring.

Ranma shrugged, inhaled his food, and stood up. "Ready?"

Kuno nodded once and lunged forward towards his opponent's chest, who dodged and tapped him on the shoulder.

Godai saw one of the students in a kendo outfit carrying a bokken approach the Saotome boy. He rushed towards them in hopes to save the weaponless Saotome. He was held back by the gym teacher, who just told him to, 'watch.' Godai couldn't believe his eyes as Saotome danced around the bokken wielding student. By the speed of the movements, Godai knew he'd last all of a second against the kendo master and Saotome wouldn't give him a fraction of one.

Kuno called forth, "Rage of the gods!" He swung down in a mighty stroke. He was truly surprised to feel weight on his weapon. His opponent was standing on it.

Ranma glared at Kuno not in a manner unlike how Genma or Cologne glared at him when he screwed up in training. "Now, student, you have learn your forms well; however, you don't know how to improvise. You used that move on me dozens of times, naming it differently doesn't change the move. You are too stuck in patterns, and while you've gotten faster and stronger since I met you but anyone who has seen you fight can easily find holes in your defense and make you pay for them. Vary your attacks, find new combination, and think of that bokken of yours as part of you and not some tool." He back flipped off the bokken and moved towards Akane who had watched part of the match.

Kuno blinked at Ranma. He hated that look as his first kendo teacher had used it on him so many times. He vaguely remembered his teacher saying something like that before he had fired him, and wondered if he should have listened. He heard an icy feminine voice call his name and wondered how much trouble his sparring match just got him into. "Hello, my Goddess of Yen, did you enjoy watching me spar with Saotome?" He gulped as Nabiki narrowed her eyes, lots of trouble.

Ranma was surprised to see Akane staring daggers at him. "What's wrong?"

"How... how dare you do that?" she seethed.

Ranma blinked in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Spar with Kuno. You won't spar with me and yet you spar with him and you took him seriously!" Akane retorted.

"Come on, Akane, I can't spar with you considering, you know." Ranma wave his hand towards her mid-region.

"How about BEFORE that? You've NEVER taken me seriously in any sparring match! You NEVER explained to me what I'm doing wrong! And you just do that with Kuno of all people. Why not me?!" Akane shook with anger.

"Aw, Akane, every time I tried to tell you, you got all upset. I, ah, well... didn't want to hurt you... I mean, how would it look if I start punching you through walls? Hell, I wasn't anymore serious with Kuno just now than I was with you the last time we really sparred," Ranma defended.

"'You move like a tub,' is not explaining what I'm doing wrong," Akane shot back. "We're martial artists, damn it. When we spar it's in the dojo, so if they don't know it's practice and nothing serious- it's their fault."

"Calm down. I didn't know it meant that much to you," Ranma countered.

"Calm down? Didn't know?" Akane's fist clenched and unclenched several times. She turned around and yelled, "You're sleeping on the roof tonight!" She stomped off.

Ranma looked like someone just deballed him. "Akane, wait. I'm sorry, really I am. I'll make it up to you. Please stop..." He chased after the girl as she ran into the school.

"Honeymoon is over," Daisuke observed.

"Ouch. I thought Dad had it bad when Mom makes him sleep in the closet." Hiroshi shuddered.

"At least the weather isn't too bad," Daisuke commented.

Hiroshi shook his head. "Cold front moves in tonight. It's going to rain."

"You're right, ouch. Ranma better make up with Akane soon then." Daisuke walked with his friend back into the school.

Godai hadn't been too far away from them. His mouth hung loosely and he hadn't stopped blinking since Akane's declaration. "Sleep on the roof? Honeymoon... over?" He asked aloud. "They're married?!"

* * *

Gosunkugi screamed while running down the street.

Daisuke looked up from what he was doing. "What's up, voodoo?"

Gosunkugi stopped and looked at him with frightened eyes. "Hide me!"

Daisuke blinked. "Why?"

"Kodachi's after me for a 'third date.'" Gosunkugi shuddered.

Daisuke raised an eyebrown. "So why do you want to hide from her?"

"She is insane. And she won't take 'no' for an answer," Gosunkugi explained.

"That's a problem?" Daisuke wondered.

"Just hide me, PLEASE!" Gosunkugi pleaded.

"Sure, if I can borrow your hammer and some nails." Daisuke blinked as they were thrust into his hand. He went to the alley and pointed at a door. "You can hide in there. If Dad says anything, tell him I let you stay there for a little bit. And don't touch anything."

Gosunkugi nodded and entered the backroom of Daisuke's father's store, an electronic rental outlet. He started to salivate at the geek's paradise he found himself in.

Daisuke smiled. With these he could finish his project, and he did that just as someone jumped in front of him.

"Tell me, do you know where my lovely Gos-chan is at?" Kodachi asked.

Daisuke shuddered slightly at the idea of Gosunkugi with her and with a bit of desire for what lay behind the leotard that she was wearing. "Um, ah, haven't seen him."

Kodachi sagged a little and turned to leave but noticed something. The sidewalk she was on felt loose and its movement effected a rope next to her. She blinked as the rope was attached to a pulley that had a pretty good work ratio as the minute movement she caused on one end caused the other end of the rope to switch on a fan. The fan blew a toy sailboat across a birdbath. She stared in fascination as the boat had a needle attached to the front of it and it speared a chicken when it ended its half-meter journey. The chicken jumped in fright and laid an egg. The egg drops off to the side and broke onto a skillet with a shallow tilt. The skillet cooked the egg as it slid across. When the egg fell out of the other end, it landed onto a plate. Next to the plate was a sign saying 'free food,' which a panda came by and took both the egg and the plate. Removing the plate cause the seesaw it was on to lift. When the other end reached the ground it hit a pair of scissors that were force shut, which cut a string. The string held the counter weight in place for a net. A net that scoped up Kodachi in one fell swoop.

"It worked! It worked!" Daisuke cheered. "Now to lure Shampoo into that."

Kodachi looked ready to kill. "Get me down from here. NOW!"

Daisuke took one look at her, and saw immense pain coming; so he ran.

Kodachi continued to swing in the net. She pulled a knife out of somewhere and started cutting the net. "The nerve of him. To set such a wondrous trap and he wants to use that on that trollop. I didn't think anyone was smart enough to make anything like this and he wants her. Maybe I should convince him that I would make a better consort."

* * *

Akane laid in bed, awake. She wanted to let Ranma inside, but she had punished him in front of the school so he had to go through with it. She was not about to let up on this, as what he did was wrong, it had hurt her, and it would look like she'd be willing to let him get away with anything. Besides, maybe he would start treating her seriously and actually tried to teach her the next time they sparred now.

Akane sighed, wondering how was she going to get to sleep. She hadn't slept alone since the wedding and had gotten use to Ranma's presence. Well, if it started to rain, she would let Ranma back in.

Akane snored peacefully as it began to pour outside.

* * *

Ranma shivered while covering herself with a heavy blanket. She wondered why Akane insisted she still had to take this 'punishment,' since Akane had calmed down considerably later but wouldn't relent that she had to sleep here. At least her wife didn't say anything about using some of Ryoga's stuff to keep the rain off and to keep warm.


	19. The Week Drags On

**The Insanity Continues**

**Volume 4 - One of Those Weeks**

**Chapter 3 - The Week Drags On**

_By: Lord Archive_

Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.

* * *

Everyone sat the Tendo household, eating dinner. There was an odd feeling in the air. Apparently something transpired between Ranma and Akane today to made him miserable and her very happy. He just sat there picking at his food. The times Genma attempted to take food from him was met with a cold stare that could freeze water.

"Come on Ranma, it's not a big deal. It's happened to me dozens of times," Akane said, grinning.

"Not to me it does. It should never be able to happen to me. That stuff should only happen to girls," Ranma retorted.

"You are a girl half the time," Akane reminded him, not sounding sympathetic at all.

The rest of their families stopped eating, intent to find out what happened.

"But I wasn't a girl at the time!" Ranma almost shouted angrily.

That caused a couple odd looks.

"It was bound to happen sooner or later, with all that crap that happens to you," Akane pointed out in an amused tone.

"How can I show my face in public now?" Ranma asked sadly.

"No one, but us, knows what happened," Akane added.

"And how long before she finds out and sells it to everyone." Ranma pointed at Nabiki.

"I'm wounded that you would think I'd sell information about you," Nabiki said sarcastically.

Everyone, including Kasumi, gave her a cold look.

"You know I'm going to find out, so tell me," Nabiki ordered.

Ranma returned to picking at his food.

Akane, however, was more than delighted to tell of the afternoon's events. "I was walking home, when..."

* * *

"I have you now. I shall kill you for what you've done," intoned a rather large sumo wrestler.

Ranma was tied up with a large number of chains and could not move. "What did I ever do to you?" he spat out angrily.

"You stole my love, so I'll take her back after I dispose of you," the sumo wrestler retorted.

Ranma rolled his eyes.

"Excuse me, but just what are you doing with Ranma?" Akane asked angrily.

"Go away, bitch, while I remove this trash." The sumo wrestler didn't even bother to give her more than a second glance.

Akane glared, anger boiling over in her. How dare this guy not only insult her, but threaten her husband's life? She ran up at him and with a mighty leap, slammed her book bag into the sumo wrestler's head, knocking him out cold. She gave a satisfied nod that he was down for the count before she moved to take the chains off her shocked husband.

"How... did... I... must... a... hit... him... a thousand... times, and he... wasn't hurt," Ranma stammered.

Akane looked at the sumo wrestler. "Ever thought about hitting him in the head, where he has little fat to protect himself?"

Ranma blinked. He hadn't given that much thought.

Akane smirked. "Oh well, I guess it was my turn to save you."

Ranma grumbled something while his wife laughed.

* * *

"So, let me get this straight," Nabiki began. "He's upset because..."

"I was the knight in shining armor and he was the damsel in distress," Akane finished, still grinning.

"You don't have ta rub it in," Ranma muttered.

"Yes, I do," Akane replied.

* * *

"Well, Kuno-chan, if you want to fight so badly, now is your chance," Nabiki informed.

"But, my goddess, you know that the one I want to fight is Saotome. No one else can match our might," Kuno protested.

"What am I, the lunch special?" Mousse produced a fist full of kunai.

"You can be," Nabiki retorted. "Listen, Kuno-chan, if you can beat him, I'll let you spar with Ranma whenever you want."

Kuno grinned wickedly. This would be an easy fight. He charge toward victory.

Mousse dodge and landed a kick to Kuno's back. He then tossed the kunai, pinning the samurai-wanna-be's shirt to a wall.

Kuno snarled and pulled away from the wall, leaving most of his shirt behind. He slashed at his foe.

Mousse frowned and blocked with the training potty. He could write that move off for subduing Shampoo. If she lost her shirt, he'd get distracted and she would be pissed- his chances of winning would be gone.

Kuno growled angrily. He wanted to know how Mousse was able to match his divine speed. He was beginning to doubt his opponent was human, since when Mousse blocked- it didn't sound like he was was hitting flesh.

Nabiki frowned. This wasn't going how she hoped it would. But she had to admit, Kuno fighting without his shirt was certainly a bonus.

Mousse decided to move to the offensive. He leapt to the air and held back the urge to announce his attack. He pulled out a half dozen orbs from his shirt and launched them at his foe.

The bombs struck the ground around Kuno and cracked the cement ground as they exploded. Smoked enveloped him and he slashed wildly hoping to strike his opponent.

Mousse grinned as Kuno made enough noise. He launched two balls with rope attached from each sleeve.

Kuno was surprised as three ropes wrapped around his bokken and a fourth around his right arm. He became angrier at the thought that Mousse was attempting to disarm him. So, he put all his might into drawing back the wooden sword quickly.

Mousse was not prepared for such a move and was flung into the air. He crashed heavily into the ground, making a good size crater. He glared viciously at his opponent while he stood up.

Nabiki smirked evilly. "That's the end of round one. Take a minute to recover and we'll..."

While Kuno stopped to listen to her, Mousse nailed him in the head with the training potty.

Kuno shook his head and then stood up a good four meters from where he had been standing. "Such a dishonorable attack. This is no longer a sparring match, this is war!"

"Shut up and fight," Mousse growled. He leapt into the air and threw a large metal ball attached to a heavy chain.

Kuno dodged and continued to dodge as Mousse continued to throw the metal ball at him. He struck at the chain connected to the ball a few times, but he only succeeded in chipping his bokken.

Mousse knew he didn't want to use this technique on Shampoo, and doubted it would be effective on her since she was much faster.

Kuno noticed a beautiful girl at the end of the street with long glorious hair and vivacious curves. "Sweet nymph, stay away! Tis a bat-KLONG!-" He slumped to the ground and took a long nap.

Nabiki growled. "Sweet nymph indeed. Maybe that hit knocked some sense INto him."

Mousse grinned triumphantly. "I showed him."

Nabiki glared at the outcast. "Certainly did. That you have zero chance to defeat Shampoo."

"I disagree," Mousse replied disdainfully.

"I don't." Ranma hopped down from a nearby building. "You need a LOT more work than I thought. Akane has never lost to Kuno and Shampoo can defeat her in less than a minute. And the only reason you beat him was because you were trying to bash his brains in."

"What do you suggest, teacher?" Mousse asked sarcastically.

Ranma smacked him on the back of the head. "You need to work on accuracy. Kuno shouldn't have been able to dodge you."

"If Kuno is so poor, than how come you had to work to defeat me," Mousse mocked.

"Because, Duck Boy, that while Kuno could only dodge you, I was working past your defenses to defeat you. If I just wanted to dodge, you'd never hit me."

They were interrupted by a feminine voice asking, "Is he all right?"

"He's taken worse blows to the head than that one," Nabiki replied, glaring at the 'sweet nymph.'

Ranma looked at her strangely. He scratched his head trying to remember who she was. He then slammed his fist into his hand. "Tsubasa!"

"Yes?" the 'sweet nymph' questioned.

"You know her?" Nabiki asked. She wondered where she heard that name before.

"I doubt there is a girl this casanova doesn't know." Mousse glared at his teacher.

"He's not a girl," Ranma said flatly.

Mousse and Nabiki looked at Tsubasa questioningly and he nodded to their unvoiced question. He goggled since Tsubasa was wearing what appeared to be a form fitting yellow sun-dress.

Nabiki rolled her eyes, remembering who he was. Kuno would fall for a cross-dresser.

"What are you doing in town?" Ranma asked.

"This." Tsubasa held up a flier Nabiki had made and distributed advertising the opening of Ukyou's. "I thought I'd check up on my beloved Ukyou to find out why she would change the name of her restaurant. You dumped her, didn't you?"

"Not exactly," Ranma replied.

Nabiki smirked. "He knocked up my sister instead."

"Hey!" Ranma blushed.

"Didn't think you had it in you." Tsubasa turned to Nabiki. "Who's your sister."

"Akane," Nabiki answered simply.

"You did that to Akane? She's too nice to be stuck with a jerk like you," Tsubasa groused.

"Why do you care?" Ranma growled. "Aren't you here for your 'beloved' Ukyou."

"Just keeping my options open since Ukyou still might not be interested in me."

"You can bet on that," Ranma said smugly.

"Is she dating anyone?" Tsubasa asked.

"Nope," Ranma answered.

"For a modest fee, I can give you a list of potential rivals that are interested in Ukyou and her views on them." Nabiki held her hand out.

"How modest?" Tsubasa wondered.

"Two thousand yen should do it. It's a long list. I'll have it ready by the time Ukyou's opens tomorrow and I'll be here the entire evening," Nabiki offered.

"I'll have the money then." Tsubasa turned to leave.

Nabiki shrugged. "Ranma, do me a favor and take Kuno home."

Ranma almost did it, but stopped. "Mousse, you take him home."

"Why should I?" Mousse demanded.

"Because, I'm your teacher and I'm telling you too," Ranma ordered.

Mousse grumbled under his breath, "We'll see how much longer that'll last."

"How long will Tsubasa be in town?" Nabiki asked as she started to walk home with her brother-in-law.

Ranma shrugged."He's rather fickle. I doubt it'll be more than tomorrow."

"And then he'll go onto 'greener pastures,'" Nabiki guessed.

Ranma nodded.

Nabiki frowned. "Long enough to make Kuno act like a complete fool, though."

Ranma nodded again. "Sure you still want him as a boyfriend?"

"He does have his good points. Besides, this will insure that there will be little competition for him," Nabiki rationalized.

"Nabiki, you're the ONLY girl I know who wants him," Ranma pointed out.

Nabiki glared at him. "Fortunately, I'm better informed than you are."

"You still have lousy tastes," Ranma muttered.

Nabiki heard him, but choose to ignore it. She still couldn't completely understand why she liked Kuno. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. The day still came out as a plus for her. Mousse's attacks with the metal ball left the street in front of Ukyou's riddled with potholes. Now, the street would have to closed for repairs so only pedestrian traffic could use that street. As Nerima has very few personal cars, this is not a hindrance for people to attend the restaurant's reopening. It was the opposite, in fact, since that the street was closed they could set up tables outside for people to eat at. With Bosabosa Rentals supplying the table and chairs and some karaoke equipment to advertise their own business, the reopening would be a major event. While Tsubasa was an annoyance and since Kuno's injury was expected, they hardly detracted from her overall goal.

* * *

Godai warily walked into room 2-E. He would rather be home without Kyoko than in this class, and that was saying something. The Saotome couple unnerved him. Akane was beyond rude and any attempts to correct her behavior was attacked by her over-protective husband.

Godai couldn't believe that two seventeen-year-olds would get married in this day and age. Nor could he believe how skilled Ranma was in martial arts. At least neither of them had numbers in their names. If Gosunkugi ended up at Maison Ikkoku, he'd feel sorry for Hikaru as the boy would end up where he was before Kyoko came into his life- in room five and stuck between Akemi and Yotsuya.

Godai shook his head and focused on the lesson he planned to teach. "Can anyone tell me why the French Revolution occurred?"

"The decadence of the monarchy," one student answered.

"The _perceived_ decadence would be more correct. While the French monarchy had largely forgotten the people they were suppose to serve, the level of neglect was likely exaggerated by those instigating the revolution. After all, it is the victor who writes history, not the loser. As such, it is the job of the historian to pick through the information left behind and find what is fact and what was placed there through mistake or what is an out-right lie. For example, most historians do not believe Marie Antoinette ever said, 'let them eat cake.'"

Akane wistfully thought of cake. It sounded beyond good to her. The moist, melt in your mouth, send you to heaven goodness of Kasumi's Angel Food Cake would be great to sooth her ravenous appetite. She could almost taste it.

The idea of eating the cake, however, caused her stomach to lurch and twist. She WANTED to eat the cake and yet the idea was nauseous to her. That should be contradictory or impossible, but that wasn't the case. The mother-to-be fought to keep the bile down.

Akane listen as the substitute continued to talk about how Antoinette might have said the famous quote. That if Antoinette had led a sheltered enough royal life, she might not even know that people have enough problems trying to buy bread, let alone cake.

Godai mentioned cake and bread one too many times as Akane lost her battle against morning sickness. She rushed toward the front of the room and grabbed the trash can. She threw up in it and then ran out of the room.

Most of the class looked very disgusted.

Godai was quite thankful Akane took the trash can with her. He then noticed that Ranma seemed relatively unconcerned that his wife threw up in the middle of class. "Saotome, is there something wrong with Akane?"

"Not really." Ranma had asked Dr. Tofu and Cologne if there were any problem, and they had said there weren't any.

Godai couldn't believe that response. "She just threw up in class."

"You get used to it after a while," Ranma groused, especially after Akane had thrown up on him a couple times.

Godai boggled. "How often does she throw up?"

Ranma shrugged. "A half dozen to a dozen times a day. Why?"

Godai couldn't understand this. Akane might have a serious problem if she's throwing up so often, not to mention the burping, farting, hunger attacks, and bathroom problems. He opened his mouth to ask Ranma if she had seen a doctor, but then realized what those systems could be caused by. "She's pregnant, isn't she?"

Ranma looked puzzled. "No one told you?"

Godai shook his head.

"Yeah, she's pregnant," Ranma informed.

"Oh, okay. Sorry." Godai felt like scum. He had bad mouthed Akane about being a delinquent to other teachers and at home. Of course being pregnant would be considered delinquency by some, so he wasn't completely off base. But he still felt like an idiot for not realizing this sooner considering it was part of his job to identify these problems and help the students with them.

* * *

Author's note:

Actually, Ranma has played damsel in distress to Akane's knight in shining armor; however, other factors didn't make it as apparent to them (or at least Akane). This time she did notice, and she wasn't about to let Ranma live down she defeated someone he failed to beat.

Before I get attacked by people screaming, 'Mousse can beat Kuno is less time than that!' Remember: Mousse wasn't pushing himself as hard as if was fighting against Ranma. Mousse was trying a couple new tricks he intends to use on Shampoo. Kuno has had very little contact with Mousse during the entire manga run. His sticking to repeating forms of combat is not a weakness against someone who is functionally a first time opponents.

Also, if you're wondering about Mousse's strength, during manga volume 33 Mousse inadvertently went through an extreme strength training as he carried around a large stone statue that controlled Mousse into believing it was Shampoo.

Here is some of what I had planned to do had I not ran into issues with writing the story, be canon inaccuracies or the fact there was no driving cohessive plot. Some of what I had planned was put to use in 'Life of Chaos' which will be what I will start posting next.

I have not written anything beyond this point.

The sumo-wrestler, who was first referenced earlier in this volume as spying on Ranma as he walked Akari to Ryoga's home, was Butafuji, Akari's first love. He did not know she returned his feelings. He left to become her 'ideal man' only to return to find out she has a boyfriend now. He jumped to the wrong conclusions from misinformation, and attacked Ranma believing him to be Akari's 'fiance,' par for the course with Ranma 1/2.

Chapter 4 (& 5?)- Welcome to Ukyou's!

-Ukyou reopens with fanfare provided by Nabiki.  
-Ucchan fan club attempts to win over the chef.  
-Kodachi and Gosunkugi on a date there. Reference Gos getting 'caught.'  
-Ryoga returns.

Plot lines:  
Nabiki drums up business for Ukyou's with Kuno's help.  
Kodachi chasing Gosunkugi.  
Suitors attempts to woe Ukyou.  
Suitors attempts to beat Shampoo.  
Akane dealing with 'Morning Sickness.'  
Hinako chases after Soun.

Volume 5 - A Demon and a Spear (Ushio and Tora - crossover)

Chapter 1  
-Akane's volleyball team is up against Asoko's team  
-Ushio tagged along to help cheer Asoko along.  
-Tora tagged along because he was bored.  
-Ranma is bored while Akane got roped in coaching the volley ball team, starts talking to Ushio sensing the magic in his spear. (The history teacher is suppose to be the coach)  
-Ranma sees Tora and freaks (Tora is a monster that looks like a tiger) Tora knows about Nekoken and ROTFLHAO.  
-A demon attacks and Tora initially defends Asoko and Akane, but then joins the battle. Sends Ranma into Nekoken and they win.

Chapter 2  
-Ranma and Akane has a little talk with the Ushio crew (minus Tora) (point out similarities in Ushio's and Asoko's relationship and Ranma's and Akane's.)

Chapter 3 or 4 Ushio verses Happosai.

Ushio knocked at Ranma's and Akane's door. Ranma answered it a minute later and was greeted with the question, "What is this... thing?"

Ranma looked at what was hanging by its clothes from the tip of the beast spear. "That's the ol' freak and 'master' of Anything Goes Martial Arts. Excuse me a second." Ranma grabbed Happosai off the spear and went over and opened his bedroom window and punted the old lech into the night sky, yelling, "Don't come back!"

Happosai woke up when he was kicked and he knew that kick anywhere. "Is that anyway to treat your master!?"

"You were never my master!"

Ranma's hip flared in pain as Akane punched him. "I don't get enough sleep as it is and you just have to wake me up, Baka."

"Would you rather have the ol' lech running around?"

"I'd rather get some sleep, so shut up!"

* * *

Taro looked at the diminutive figure warily.

"Let's say we go out and wreak havoc?" Happosai suggested to the demon.

"You know, you look sort of like those golden chicken nugget." Taro licked his chops.

Asoko grinned. "I'm sure he tastes like one too." What better way to deal with a demon than to have another one eat it.

"Do you have to spoil ALL my meals?" Tora asked. Hamburgers he liked, the grease balls that were called chicken on the other hand...

Volume 6 - A Night on the Town Akane sets plans to go out on the town with the female Ranma cast, but Ranma really doesn't like the idea. So, while the girls are away, the guys will play. Ranma decides to go out with the guys.

Volume 7 Anything Goes Martial Arts Baseball.  
Volume 8 Festival of Fun.  
Volume 9 Girls Night Out 2, this time Ranma joins the girls. Plus: Finals! End of junior year.  
Volume 10 to 11+? School break.  
Volume 12 Senior year begins. Intro Kuno Shiono (Kuno's cousin), Lee Ving (a new Amazonin in town), and a girl who takes Nabiki's place at Furinkan High.


End file.
